EPISODE EIGHTThat was
extremely irritating. I thought I was gonna be able to have a brilliant bwahahahaha guffaw at seeing Brigitte catwalking with a dead Tribal Council flame but instead her torching means nothing and now there’s the very real possibility that she could come back as more of a demon than before.
The only way I can cope with it is to call her
Horse-face from now until forever.
The worst of it was that I was thrilled Rana chose to target her instead of Mzi ‘cos I was convinced they were gonna get rid of him first and all the joy of it not happening was sapped by her getting this second chance she doesn’t deserve.
To be fair, and as much as I support Mzi, it’s actually the whole of Aguila who deserve the annihilated situation they’re currently in.
The defeatist attitude they accepted their doom with was sooo pathetic I wanted to throttle them I was so frustrated. Not one of them even tried to make a pro-active attempt to flop a Ranian to Aguila. Even if it wasn’t a success they should at least have tried
something.
As for Vanessa and the way she accepted Rana’s ridiculous offer for her to join them as if it’s the sort of thing that happens every day - how could she not have used that and played them to get more out of it??
If Rana are so dense that they’re already aligning with Aguilians when it’s completely unecessary it has to mean there’s a way of outwitting them and yet she didn’t even seem interested in what was happening, let alone try to use it to her advantage.
And then, then,
then – they all ended up targeting Lezel when it came to the vote because she “talks a lot”. WTF? Not once did they mention or dicuss trying to oust Jacinda’s power playing.
It could have been so easy too - Zayn’s such a loose cannon that promising him a final two alliance could defs have influenced his vote. Bah - they were all rubbish and filled with as little passion for victory as the deadweight of a corpse, which is why they don’t deserve this second million-buck breath.
But they have it and there’s nothing that can be done except hope that Horse doesn’t manage to somehow win a comeback. I just knew she’d be the one who’d want to turn against the Aguila alliance first and she did, except that she flirted with Zayn's friendship instead of trying to talk to him properly, which is why she was so useless.
The lackluster yawniness of Aguila’s doom started at the beginning of the episode when they decided to blame Nico for every decision they’ve made up until now while trying to find the flint he so excellently stole. I was chuckling away happily as they all sat around miserably fireless and wished it wasn’t their merge week so they could have suffered more.
Unfortunately they were saved within moments when Aguila found Rana’s flint after both tribes received tree mail instructing them to travel by boat to raid each others islands. They each chose the most useful items they could find and rendevouzed on a new beach where Mark informed them that they were one new merged tribe called Burba - which means something like “The greatest won’t win ‘cos the losers are getting a second chance.”
Those buffs of theirs are very unsexy don’t you think? They’re such a huge part of the girlcrushes I often have on the chicks when they wear them as stylish boobtubes but it’s impossible to wear the ones they have anywhere else but on a head.
That feast they went for to celebrate the merge looked tasty (I love pita's and snacky food like that) but alcohol was missing from the equation big time. Some booze during those moments is exactly what they needed to spill some beans.
After a non-existent sleep in the crap new shelter they built in the dark they then went off to their first solo Immunity Challenge which involved a mud-pit perfectly fit for Pigs where they had to fill a basket with mud from their bodies. Everyone weighed in their mud, no-one was even close to beating Gareth and he was the first to win the Immunity necklace which was handed to him as if it was the furthest thing from being the most prized Survivor possession there is.
I was seriously iffy about those moments of it being handed over to him - it’s so crucial that that necklace gets placed around the winners neck with huge amounts of ceremony and reverence and yet it was just chucked to him to put on himself.
It managed to work it’s magic though ‘cos it chilled Gareth out to the extent that he didn’t care who got voted out nor what lies Jacinda’s telling. When everyone got back to camp the wheeling and dealing set in as Jacinda offered Vanessa a place in the final five after saying Zayn’s the first on the chopping block.
Zayn had a freak-out when he heard about the offer to Vanessa and instead of going over to Mzi and Brigitte and telling them exactly what was going down, he chose to accept Lezel’s incoherent drivel that was supposed to imply that things are as Rana’s planned all along.
Everyone then headed off to their first morning Tribal Council where Aguila said they knew they were doomed before everyone voted. Aguila targeted Lezel for no reason and Rana targeted Brigitte because Jacinda doesn’t like her either and Mzi was thankfully saved because of his superior fishing.
And so it was that Mark announced the introduction of Dead Man’s Island and that this is where Horse will be shipped to wait for the opportunity to return. I like that none of the others know a sniff about all this, particularly with Jacinda and Co. being as overly confident as they are.
We don't have a clue when the returning Survivor's coming back though and Mark didn’t mention anything about the Jury either. I’m assuming that if Brigitte doesn’t succeed in bringing herself back from the dead she’ll be the first member on it.
I’m just hoping this somehow works out to be a saving grace for Mzi and that he gets it together to at least try to kick some butt next week.