Space cadet Courtney Marit was blindsided out of Survivor in Tuesday night's episode when Cirie went on a sudden and successful blitz against both Courtney and the game's power players.
On Wednesday morning after the show I caught up with Courtney in between her waking up and heading off to a fire-juggling, acrobatic type job. She's back in her apartment in the Hollywood Hills which she described as "beaudiful" as we said our hello's.
Tashi: Talk us through your blindsiding, from your perspective.
Courtney: All along we wanted to vote Aras out 'cos we knew he was a huge threat 'cos of his athetlic ability and intelligence and he got along with everyone. It's silly to think that someone who gets along with everyone is such a big threat but that's how it was.
Yeah, I just made a big mistake in trusting Danielle and Cirie. I thought that for sure they'd rather want me around than Aras because they had a much better chance of beating me than Aras but I guess they thought differently.
In hindsight I should have won that final challenge where I got voted but I thought I was safe. To get voted out in the way that I was - I wish I'd pushed myself harder to win the challenge but I also thought it would be better for me in the long-run not to beat Terry because I'd just made an alliance with him and I didn't want to disturb that.
Tashi: After you left, did you work out why they actually turned on you?
Courtney: Basically Cirie was in a really strong alliance with Aras which Danielle and I weren't aware of. I certainly wasn't aware of it - so Cirie did it for Aras 'cos she knew Aras would do anything for her. I think that's where it came from.
Tashi: You took a heavy blow when everyone voodoo'd you by labelling you with all the negative qualities during the voodoo doll Reward Challenge. Why were you so annoying?
Courtney: Well, you know, they had to write down somebody's name down and I can be pretty, you know, I can speak my mind.
Some people, if something bothered them they kept their mouth shut - but I learned once again, the golden rule - to remain quiet. I think 'cos I spoke my mind a bit and I can be outlandish, whatever.
That whole challenge was disgusting, I think it's really ugly and it made me very sad that Survivor felt the need to create drama by insulting people. No matter who's gonna get voted Most Annoying or whatever those horrible things were that I've forgotten, you know, it's gonna hurt someone's feelings and it hurt my feelings.
You're out there 28 days, you're almost fifteen pounds lighter, you're tired and then you get slapped in the face. It's totally not fun and I hope that Survivor stops doing challenges that insult people. I think enough reality shows do that. Survivor should try to stick to physical or mental challenges but not to the poiint of insulting people to get some drama going.
Tashi: Shane said you took the comments too personally. Do you agree?
Courtney: Absolutely. I totally took everything too personally. It's something I've been working on in my life. I've been reading this book that I live by - it's called The Four Agreements by Ruiz and one of the four agreements in it is to not take anything personally.
I should just have said: "Well, they had to write down someone's name and I know who I am," but instead I took it as a personal blow and it impacted on my game, no question. It's something that I learnt in a really hard way and something that I'm working on.
Tashi: Did it all make you reflect on yourself and think: "Is that how I am??"
Courtney: Oh absolutely. The whole thing was a huge reflection. Just watching mmyself on TV and seeing what people said. It's been a huge year for me in terms of change and being honest with myself - like where I'm shining in my life and where I'm not.
Instead of going: "Oh forget all of them, they're stupid and don't know anything," I asked myself: "What did I do that was annoying?" "How can I work it out for myself so that I can continue to have good relationships with people?"
I certainly have human imprefections like everyone and this game was like a mammoth mirror to look at yourself. More of my ugly sides came out than my pretty sides, in the edit as well. They tried to find as many points where I did something wrong and made sure they put it on.
Tashi: Was there anything that you felt everyone was right about?
Courtney: Well, I probably do talk to too much.
Tashi: Me too.
Courtney: I have opinions about things. Also, out there I was leaning towards being passive-aggressive because I didn't want to say anything to piss anyone off but then I was like: "Well, you should really do it this way." I try not to take anything in too much but just take enough to learn from it.
Tashi: How certifiable is Shane? Is he truly as nuts as he seems?
Courtney: Yeah, he totally lost it out there. But I lost it too. I see him out here. He runs one of the nights at a club I go to out here in Hollywood and we see each and both know we were loony tunes.
It was just from the stress and lack of food and everything. We had a lot of great moments and also had a lot of hard times. We're both pretty fiery people so I think that's what happened.
Tashi: What did you do in the days between your jury duty?
Courtney: We hung out together but there was always someone there monitoring our conversation and we weren't allowed to talk about who we were gonna vote for to win or about what was happening in the game.
For me I was in like Dante's Inferno when I got voted out. I was in between hell and heaven - like "I'm done with this game but I still have to stick around and watch these people that stabbed me in the back continue on."
Even though I was in a beaudiful place I was like,: "Oh man," - I just wanted to be done with the game and at home. I was just dealing with getting over everything. I was in a post trauma stress situation but you know you get over and through it and realise: "Jeez, it's a just game, relax. Yeah some people insulted you, work on it." Not seeing things in such a heav way.
Tashi: Did it help hanging out with the others who'd had a similar experience?
Courtney: Oh my God, yes. Austen and Sally were amazing - I was pretty upset. I'd made it really far and just the way I left the game - you know, I had the challenge where they insulted me and then I lost the car and then I lost the challenge.
It was just a bunch of negativity the way I went out and I was like not in the best mood. Then I realised that I was so blessed to have the life experience and decided I was gonna take the best I could out of it and grow and keep living my adventures and dreams.
Tashi: Who's your fave Survivor of all time?
Courtney: Wow. Um, man, that's tough. I don't know many of the Survivors. I like the way Ethan played in Africa. He seemed like a really good guy. Rupert was a total character too.
Tashi: Do you stay in a hotel on jury duty?
Courtney: It was sort of a hotel. Nothing too fancy. I think it depends on where yo are in the world. We had a pool and some water and I think I ate a hundred Snickers bars.
Tashi: I always think there's another reality show there just waiting to happen.
Courtney: There totally could have been - especially with me, I was a full on drama queen. I was like crying and going:" I can't believe they voted me out," I was very upset. I'm glad I worked it out. I'm a very happy person right now and I've got a super thick skin. I can handle the world.
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