3x05 Nice She Ain’t Original Airdate: Thursday 12 April, 20h30
The divorce between Gabrielle and Carlos reaches new levels of bitterness. Susan is determined to jog Mike's memory, and realizes Edie has been posing as his girlfriend since he woke up. Tom decides that his dream is to open a pizza parlour, and Lynette is not delighted. Bree tries to break up Danielle and her history teacher, who's been having an affair with her. Meanwhile, Mike's phone number is discovered on a dead woman's body.
Bree walks into the motel on a reception and asks for a gentleman named Falati, who if you remember for the “Previously on Desperate Housewives” clip 30 seconds ago- is Danielle’s History teacher, she’s sleeping with. Gas, the model attendant says that he came in about an hour ago and he asks her if she wants him to call him. Bree wants Gas to take her to his room and unlock it so she can walk on in unannounced. Gas tells her that he can’t do that and he is with the girl in the room and Bree tells him that the girl is hers daughter. Gas takes her to the room and asks her if she has a gun because he just put the new carpet on the floor and Bree tells him that she will just tell Falati what he faces if he continues this relationship with Danielle. So Bree walks in unannounced, probably while Danielle and Mrs. F are doing the naughty as we hear their shocked re-actions. She walks in and then walks out a minute or so later. Gas asks her how it went and Bree tells him that it went well, and being Bree she just had to comment; “Oh and Gas, the carpets; are lovely.”
It is dinner time in Wisteria Lane and MAVO takes us on a tour through everyone’s home (through their microwave)- where everyone is having Microwave Dinners commenting on back in the days (when she was alive) when the meals where prepared by the housewives who knew how to cook and for the children who knew how to behave. Instead of a Microwave, when we get to the Van De Hodges, there is only one housewife who still prepares diner the good old way- and boy did the food look good.
Danielle: (to Bree) When are you going to take me seriously?!
Bree: When you start acting like an adult.
Andrew: She sleeps with them, that's a start.
The Van De Hodge clan are having a dinner and everyone is present including the bitter Danielle; because attendance is Mandatory and not optional in that home! The family is making fun of her relationship with Mr. F and she tells them that he is getting a divorce and she is not eating anything. Andrew seems to have the best lines in this episode and his great. Its refreshing seeing Andrew on Bree’s side although he was great this episode, so disappointing see Danielle take on the Bitch of Child role this season! They continue to mock Danielle who throws Bree’s special china, confesses her hate to the family and runs up to here room.
Lynette comes home from work (which we still haven’t seen her in) and Tom has made her a pizza, and it does looks good- Tip: Eat before Desperate Housewives. He tells her that he made up his mind and he knows what his dream is; He is gonna open a pizza parlour. Lynette is not pleased and she opens a new bottle of wine to celebrate and get drunk on the idea!
Tom: I bet you didn't see that one coming?
Lynette: No....That was real frisbee to the head, that one!
Gabrielle came home early from spending her life in the mall (you’d think after a few years she’d get bored of the Fairview Mall) and her room is fool of candles and romantic music is on. Gabrielle’s under the impression Carlos is trying to seduce her to get back together with her and she tells him to move on and then she goes to bathroom and screams in shock. Turns out that Carlos has a date and the girl, Trishelle, is already naked in a hot tub. Sad thing is she reminds me of Libby- the girl the couple where adopting a baby from last season!
I yawned throughout this scene with Susan, was slightly funny seeing Susan dance, but that was it. Anyways at the hospital Susan is determined to bring back Mike’s memory and so she plays him the music. She dances like they danced back then in a bar but he can’t remember and he is still so cold to her because her outfit must have been horrible. Just noticed that Teri Hatcher is packing up the fat in the face and no longer Skele-tcher anymore! Yay for Susan!
Finally the dead body had been addressed again (
from Bree and Orson’s wedding time) Detectives found out something on a dead woman’s body. It looks like she has a number on her palm.
Danielle’s having a temper fit upstairs breaking stuff while Bree, Orson and Andrew are having dessert. Kudos to the writers for giving us a semi-good Andrew thus far this season and not retaliate to his mother with Orson like he did with George last season. Anyways Bree sends Andrew upstairs to check that Danielle is breaking her own stuff. Danielle is laying in the tub upstairs and attempting suicide in the most satire way possible. Andrew goes downstairs all calmly and tells Bree and she and Orson, at first they don’t believe him, then look at each other and rushes up. Andrew tells them not to hurry because she is not trying that hard.
Bree: Now what were you going to say?
Andrew: Well, um...Danielle is upstairs trying to commit suicide.
(Bree questions Andrew with a look, then rushes upstairs with Orson)
Andrew: No rush...she isn't trying that hard!
Bree: Is my daughter alright?
Doctor: She'll be fine. The wounds are very superficial.
Andrew: (smirks) So is the patient
The Van De Hodge clan is now at the hospital, Andrew is playing a portable game thing and clearly not upset or phased because his sister tried to cut her wrist with a spoon. Bree and Orson are out of their minds. Doctor comes in and tells them that everything is gonna be all right but she is still groggy.
Doctor: She’s resisting our efforts to pump her stomach. She said she only took three sedatives.
Andrew: She’s disorientated, pump her.
Bree: Andrew,
(Bree looks at doctor) Pump her.
Bree: They're sticking a tube down her throat. Do you still think this is funny?
Andrew: Mom this was a half ass bid for attention.
Bree: This was a cry for help and if we don’t listen, the next time she could do something even more dangerous.
Andrew: (smirks) Yeah next time she might jump off the porch
Andrew continues to make fun of Danielle until Orson bursts and starts to scream that suicide is the worst thing that could happened to the family and he will not tolerate it. Bree thinks that they should ALL go to counselling and looks at Orson. Very funny how Suicide struck a nerve with Orson, maybe he has a history with this?
Lynette is discussing with Gabrielle, Susan and Mrs. McClusky about Tom and his pizza dream. She promised that she will support him but pizza is just bad idea. Susan also thinks like Lynette but Gabrielle tells her that she promised and she has to stand by him all the way and Lynette asks her how is that divorce going. I love Mrs. McClusky and glad we got some insight into her character tonight’s episode- and she really is funny! Mrs. McClusky tells them that her husband started to paint one day, she told him that he couldn’t even paint garage how could he possibly paint art, and for the rest of his life he despised her…or maybe it was because she was sleeping with his brother was mixed in there!
Nora comes out of the house and asks Lynette for the minute. She heard about that pizza place and tells Lynette that it is the idea sucks and unless she changes Tom’s mind, she [Snora] and Lynette will have to work the pole for braces!
Austin comes to Julie who is with a friend and brings her flowers … with roots. He asks Julie for help about his project in school. If he messes this one up Edie will kick him out of the house. Julie agrees … but he will have to pay $15 an hour for tutoring. He tells her that he charges $15 for make out so they will probably break even. Her friend Sara is totally turned on by Austen.
Susan comes to the hospital just to find out that there is a new nurse. She brought macaroni and cheese to trigger Mike’s memory. She sees Edie and the nurse tells her that Edie was with Mike when he woke up and that she was visiting every day. Susan rushes towards Edie and accuses her of lying to Mike about the past. Nurse comes and asks if there is a problem. Susan wants Edie to be banned from hospital but nurse tells her that Edie is Mike’s girlfriend and they ban Susan.
(Susan is trying to visit Mike at the coma ward)
Nurse: You need to leave. You're disturbing the other patients.
(a security guard grabs Susan by the arms)
Susan: What are you... Oh... This is ridiculous. Who am I disturbing? It's a coma ward, don't you want them to wake up?
My new favourite family, I wish were mine- don’t look at me like that- The Van De Hodges are at the counselling. Danielle tells Bree that she called her a retard but Bree tells the therapist that she had never in her life used that word, it would just be beneath her and he image. Ah the therapy session reminded me of the old days when Rex and Bree attended Marriage Counselling with Dr. Goldfine, which they disguised as “Tennis Lessons”. Therapist thinks that Danielle thinks that Bree cares more about her image then about her feelings- which is true to Bree’s character. Bree tells her that when she saw her in the tub it was the worst moment of her life (yea Bree tends to have a lot of these). Danielle now feels powerful and blackmails Bree. If she tries to stop the relationship she will leave for good and notes that if Andrew could survive on her own- so can she- yes right next to “Pearly Gates” (
the transsexual prostitute from 3x03 A Weekend in the Country). Bree asks the therapist, in her angry psycho Bree voice, how much they have to pay for this good “progress”.
Austen is with Julie who helps him to write his paper. He can’t concentrate and he starts drinking beer. Julie tells him that her mom would freak out and tells him to leave. He begs her to write an essay. She will only write an intro and then he is on his own. She asks him how he finished in the juvenile anyway. He tells her that his mom had a boyfriend who had no job and who was drunk. He was only protecting her and his mom called cops on Austen and her boyfriend would leave if she didn’t press charges. Julie tells him that she will write everything and he lays on the bad to get some rest.
Carlos comes home and Gabrielle is putting a make up. He says that he was just trying to make her jealous but Gabrielle tells him that he hates her. A man walks out of the kitchen with two glasses.
Carlos: Phil Lopez!.....you brought Phil Lopez?!
Gabby: Um-hmm!
Carlos: I had no idea you hated me that much
His name is Phil Lopez and she wants him to meat hers almost ex husband Carlos. Carlos tells her that they met at the annual dinner. Phil was a business man of the year more then Carlos was and Gabrielle says that she remembers now and Carlos said: “He may have that trophy but I’ve got you.” They go into the hot tub.
Lynette talks to Tom about his pizza thing. She gives him some advices like catering company but he is not happy about that. She is just worried because 90% of restaurants close during the first year. Tom is positive and won’t change his mind.
Gabrielle and Phil got out of the hot tub. Carlos went to his room and Gabrielle goes into her. She moves the bed near the wall and she starts jumping on the bed and making sounds like she has a wild sex. Phil wants to have sex but Gabrielle tells him that he is a good guy but she is not into him. He realizes that she used him and goes away.
Carlos is sitting outside the house and Phil tells him that she is totally crazy. Her car is blocking his car. And Carlos goes to take the keys to move it. When he enters the house Gaby is still jumping on the bed. Carlos goes into room and tells her that she is blocking Phil’s car.
Gabrielle: (to Carlos) Back off Phil, I told'd ya No, means NO!
(She turns around to see Carlos)
Carlos: I need your keys, your blocking the Stallion's hatchback!
She moved it and Carlos is making fun of her. Gabrielle just wants to hurt Carlos so he will see that there is nothing gonna happen between them anymore. He tells her that she still cares about him because she couldn’t pull the trigger (she couldn’t sleep with Phil). She tells Carlos to bring her breakfast in the bed because she is tired.
Julie sees Sara’s car and she walks to see what is she doing and she is having sex in the car with Austen. Julie is mad because Sara didn’t go to the movies because of this. She goes back into the house and Susan tells her that she found a way how to get through to Mike. Julie tells her that he is not into her anymore and goes to her room.
Carlos brings breakfast to Gaby but she is in the bed with another men. She met him in a bar. She asks Carlos did she hurt him or should she keep on trying.
Edie is with Mike in the hospital and nurse tells her that there is phone call for her. She goes to see who it is but Susan actually called her and when Edie left to pick up the phone Susan to Mike who was in the wheelchair and took him to park lot. There is van and she will take him to Wisteria Lane to refresh his memory.
Bree comes to apartment where Mr. Falati is. She tells him that she is completely positive about their relationship and Danielle told her that he loves her. He says that that is true and Bree brings Danielle’s stuff into his apartment. He tells Bree that this isn’t working out and Bree tells him to say that to Danielle but not to mention Bree.
Susan is taking Mike through Wisteria Lane. She shows him the bushes where he found her naked. Mike can’t remember anything and Susan tells him to look into the heart because she is in there. She takes him to Mary Alice’s house and trips and Mike smiles. He knows that she does that a lot. He asks her about the Ian and Susan tells him that they are just friends.
Hospital car came and Mike wants to be taken back to the hospital. Edie tells Susan that it is over and that it was always to meant to end this way.
Susan: How do you sleep at night?
Edie: Soon, with Mike on top of me!
Finally Susan can become interesting again with some Edie rivalriy!
Police found out about the number written on the dead woman’s palm and it’s amazing how they missed it before. What baffles me is why call the number to tip of the suspect or the person, and what are they going to say- ‘Hey your number is written on a dead body’s hand’. Anyways they call the number and it is Mike Delfino’s phone- oh how the plot thickens!
Austen is angry about D- he got on the paper, because that is not the one they did together. He thinks that she is pissed at him because he made out with her friend but actually she is pissed because he told her some sad stories so she could write the paper…and he needs to pay $15.
Danielle comes home and tells them that Mrs. Falati broke up with her. He told her that she was messing up his divorce. So in Danielle Van De Kamp, psycho style which she learnt from her mother, She went to the principal and got him fired and then when he called her and started to yell she recorded the call and sent it to his wife. He won’t be getting anything from the divorce; and Bree is proud of her daughter- was kind of warm and funny like an Easter Bunny!
Tom brought Kayla home and Nora tells him that she found out that he is opening a pizza place. She tells him that that is a great idea and he will make it 100 %- talk about lying manipulative bitch. Anyways we can see she’s trying to sabotage Tom and Lynette’s marriage, this takes us to MAVO ending this weeks episode on Sabotage.
MAVO: “Sabotage, everyone is capable of it.”
"like the ones who crave vengeance..." We see Danielle laying on her bed and thinking, probably about its by time she’s lived up to her family name and become psycho.
"Or the ones who hunger for love..." We see Edie kissing Mike in his hospital room.
"or the ones who are determined to burn bridges…" We see Gabby still laying in bed from this morning looking very bored and kind of confused, must say I love the underwear!
"And then there are those who simply want something...Something that belongs to someone else…" We see Nora tucking Kayla in and telling her that they will have Daddy [Tom] soon.
Previous Recaps:
3x01 Listen to the Rain on the Roof3x02 It Takes Two3x03 A Weekend in the Country3x04 Like It Was