NOTE: Due a technical problem the interview scheduled to premier 04/Dec/08 suffered delays and The TV Observer had to premier this interview earlier than scheduled. Following the publishing of this interview we are now two installments away from the grand finale of the series. Enjoy!
The Observer presents the first part in a two part interview with Centrepiece.
The story:
“In the year 2001 this guy was my neighbor and my friend’s brother. I knew who he dated at the time of cause but he stated to make advances to me. Me being the love rat that I am and at the time I thought I will never be serious with him. As it turns out he was the one who was very serious. He used to tell me that he does not love the other woman anymore and that she was cheating and all the staff but I would tell him not to dump her until he was sure. That time I had convinced myself that he was not for me and I will eventually move on and I did not want to make him break up with his girlfriend while I will in the end leave him.Centrepiece continues by saying that
“As you know we can’t predict love. I fell head over hills for him. At the end I sacrificed my virginity to him in 2002 and got pregnant in the act. By the way there was no talk of the other woman by then. I guess she got tired of dating a man who was without a job at the time. Yes I loved him even though he had only one jean and a Kayo Star takkies and he was not working. We were together applying for a job in the police services. We were together when he was called for an interview and he did not have formal clothes to wear. We were together when I stole my uncles clothes for him to wear to the interview. When he got the job I was already three months pregnant. We were happy but I never knew that my happiness will be short lived because soon after, he got the job the other woman came back by fire by force and that it when I ended up becoming the other woman again. He does not want anything to do with his child, till today and he is still working by the way.”
This is the story that influenced the interview.
----- THE INTERVIEW -----
"The Observer interviews Centrepiece"
For The Observer's Love Story Series
Where you in a relationship when Mr. Neighbor My Friend’s Brother made advances?Well yes I was in a relationship but not a serious relationship.
What did you find attractive about him?The fact that he was not like any other guy, he used to go to church every day, he never went to the taverns like the guys his age. He did not even know how to whistle, the only thing he knew how to do was sing………. Not gospel only but classical music, the opera.
How long did it take you to indulge his advances?He started his advances in 1998, so I guess it took me +- 3 years.
Did you believe him when he told you that he does not love the other women?Yes! Somehow I did, the attention he gave me said it all.
What made you believe him, besides his obviously smooth moves?The fact that my brother used to tell me (he did not know about us) that his woman is cheating on him (my Mr. Neighbor My Brother’s friend)
Did it ever occur to you that he might be telling you what he thought you wanted to hear, just to get in the sack?At first yes, I thought he was telling me all that because he wanted to make me believe that he is over her, until the mother of the other woman phoned him and asked if she is at his place, he said no she is not, and the mother said she has been missing the whole weekend. He then called her friend to ask where she was. The friend said the other woman is in Durbs. Of which later he found out that she was with her new boyfriend.
When you decided to go with the flow, was your brother aware?At the beginning he was not aware, I had befriended his sister too, so my brother never gave much thought to the fact that I was spending much time at My neighbor’s house.
Did you think he would dump her for real?Yes I actually thought he had dumped her.
Do you remember the exact words he used when he told you that he wants to dump his girlfriend?After he made me listen to the conversation between him and the other woman’s mother, he asked me what I would do if I was in his shoes? I told him I would find the facts first and be sure that I don’t love that person anymore. He said to save himself from the heartache he is going to dump her once and for all. He also expressed his annoyance at being called by her mother the moment she disappears. I guess he wanted them to realize that their daughter is sleeping around.
What made you tell him not to dump her… the real reason, not the one about him being sure?The real reason was that I was sure that our relationship won’t last long, I was going to move on soon.
About being sure….what made you think that he might not be?They had been in a relationship for three years before I came to the picture, a person just don’t toss away a three year relationship because of a minor misunderstanding.
It sounds like you believed that he would be easy to forget and move on. When exactly did you fall for him?Around the time he gave me a birthday present, you see he was not working and his family was supported by his mentally ill sister’s pension, so it must have been a sacrifice for him to buy that bag for me, and the honesty he had was amazing.
Did you ever feel conflicted when you discovered that you are in love with him?Yes I was very conflicted, you see I knew that there is always a chance that the other woman would come back, and the fact that from the beginning of the relationship I told myself that I would not fall for him and that I would move on to greener pastures.
Did you loose your virginity to him whilst dating or after you fell in love?After I fell in love of cause!! haa ha ha.
When you discovered that you were pregnant, how did he react?He was very excited and scared at the same time (him being unemployed and all)
What day of the week was it and how long did it take you to tell him?It was a Wednesday on the 11th of December 2002, and he was the very first person to know that I preggies.
Did you tell your parents or friend first?I told my friends first. I don’t have parents, only my grandmother.
Did his parents know?Yes, he eventually had to tell his mother. Mind you at that time his mom did not like me, she preferred the other woman over me, I guess because she was there three years before me. LOL
When did his girlfriend know that you were pregnant?I don’t actual know the exact time she knew, but she came back when I was seven months preggies.
How did you cope with him not working and you pregnant?It was a very short time, the first three/ four months actually, it wasn’t much of stressing because he was there and him being the religious one, he always told me that God will provide for us and that our baby was Gods creation. He has made plans on how we are going to raise him.
How did your brother feel when he found out first that you were pregnant and then second that you were dating his friend?He found out that I was dating his friend first before he found that I was preggies. He said he knew I was going to get what’s coming for me, you see he warned me about the other woman when he found out about me and his friend. His words were “don’t come crying to me when he has left you for his woman because he will never break up with her, not by his choice but because she will make sure that he never breaks up with her”
How long did take him to figure out that you were dating his friend?We could not fool him for long, it took him four months to figure it all out.
Would you advice that to other young women?I say if you feel it is real, just go for it but be sure.
What was the most memorable moment during your application process before getting the job?The most memorable time, is when I stole my uncles clothes for him to wear to the interview, tjoooo things we do for the people we love!!!
When the girlfriend/woman returned how did you feel?I was so frustrated and crashed; I had to remember my brother’s warnings at the time I was eight months preggies.
How was it like being his only women, after by fire by force, was out of the picture?He gave me much attention and appreciation, I felt like a queen, I was sure I will be his wife one day and we will live happily ever after.
And when she returned, being the other women. Did it give you any idea of what she might have felt during the days when all this was just fun for you?Yes actually it did but then I told myself that at the time she was cheating on him, maybe she did not feel the hurt that I felt, and to top it all I had a child growing in my womb.
Did you ever confront her?We never had confrontations, each and every time we met, we were civil towards each other’ I think she was more mature than me, because I don’t know how many times I wanted to confront her but she never gave me the reason to.
After he started denying any association with the child right after the time and effort you spent helping him get a job. How did that make you feel?He did know that it was his child, but he never took any responsibility towards our son, and that is what hurts the most about everything, when I see children with their fathers in town, in the parks or in the Malls, I am always reminded of my stupid mistakes.
When you realized that a simple idea to have fun turned into a twisted form of fate were you started out as being the other women, to being the only women to now the other women with a child. How does that make you feel in reflection?Unlike any other situation where I would have said, it was fun while it lasted, now I would say I was stupid. I never listened to warnings of my brother, and now my son has to pay the price of my mistakes.
How do you feel about one night stands?I have too much self-importance to have a one night stand, so I can never comment on something I never had.
After all this, how do you feel about love?I am not sure if I will ever love again, I have my reasons.
Are you in love now? Or Are you in a relationship?Well, after my son was born I raised him for three years, without being in any relationship, until……………………………..
How is your baby?He is growing up, even though he tends to be sick every now and again, but that’s children for you. Bakhula sizwile!!! (they grow when you had enough)
Has your child met the father?I wanted to make sure that my son grows up to know who his father is, his father does not have time for him, nor any money to help me raise him but I try by all means to make him see his son even if its for 2 minutes.
What would be the best advice you to give to the other women?If you want to have fun, don’t have your fun at other the persons expense because it will come back to haunt you.
If you could change anything what would it be?I would not get pregnant by him. (my son is not a regret but his father is)
----- THE END -----
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