Aw crap. Crappity crap. Figures that just as I establish a firm favourite, she gets voted off the very next episode. And here’s me thinking that all that sneaky talk in the previous episode meant that Ncumisa was going to be sticking around much longer and engaging in all sorts of skullduggeries and schemes.
Sadly, ‘twas not to be. Ncumisa’s far-too-early elimination has left an unpleasant taint upon the episode (well, that and that crapass Reward Challenge).
The episode began as the Aguilerans returned from Tribal Council where Nico had just received his honorary vote. Spurred on by a stinging pain in his back (he thought it was the pain from the knife his tribe had stuck in there but it was really his wounded ego that ached), he tore into his fellow tribemates about, gasp, daring to play the game.
“I got voted out of my tribe,” Nico bemoaned, “Can’t I feel bad?” Of course you can feel bad, you buffoon, but to piss and moan about the others playing the game is to miss the point of the competition entirely.
Oh and one word: Sam. As I recall, you seemed to be very much on his side and then you voted for him.
Honestly, I get so annoyed with these self-indulgent fools who see themselves as too special to get voted out. Everyone else can be backstabbed/lied to/disliked fine but when it’s them who hears their name read out at TC, they act as if the other contestants have braaied and eaten their firstborn.
At Mzi’s coaxing, Nico finally managed to calm down because he knew that if Mzi got mad, he’d build a stun gun out of an electric eel and a clamshell and bring down Nico the hard way.
Nico limited his complaints to his confessionals where he whined like a nine year-old girl who’s just been told she can’t have a pony for Christmas. “Waaaaaa, since they don’t want me, why don’t I just blow my own torch out?” Go ahead. You’re certainly enough of a windbag to manage it.
Lord help me for saying anyone should be more like Brigitte, but Nico should’ve shut up and borne it like she did when her lovebunny was voted out. It’s a social game and behaving like a spoiled, entitled bully is not going to win you any prizes (unless you’re Rupert, in which case it wins you America’s approval and an undeserved million).
At Rama, Gareth was down in the mouth. Not only was he hungry but he felt he bore the brunt of his tribe’s failures at RCs. Plus all that salt water meant his hair wasn’t nearly so bouncy and full-of-body as it normally is.
Who knows why he is responsible for all his tribe’s successes and failures at challenges. Jacinda claimed it is because he is the tribe’s alpha male and thus their leader. This is both condescending and perplexing: isn’t Jacinda herself supposed to be the tribe’s leader? She certainly smirks about it enough. Is she merely a figurehead with little more than ceremonial power?
Gareth’s misery was so great that not even catching a few fish in Rama’s net could uplift him. Perhaps he sensed that no matter how many fish he caught, Mzi would inevitably have caught more (
Mzi doesn't use a fishing pole to fish, he simply punches the water and all the fish die.)
Still fireless, Rama had to eat the fish raw which led to the “Oh god, this is horrible, yuck” and “It’s sushi” comments you’d expect. If only M-Net had cast a Japanese sushi chef as one of the contestants. Zayn dreamed of the day they would get fire so he could make a mango chutney while Lezel merely wished she had wasabi sauce to dip the fish in.
Their food woes were addressed with the ‘Reward Challenge’. No, not the chutney and wasabi, though I wouldn’t be surprised to have a Mrs Balls tie in food reward later on in the same way the American version pimps Pringles and Doritos. I’m talking about flint to make fire which was one of the rewards in the ‘challenge’.
The ‘challenge’ was a lame treasure hunt where two tribe-members had to follow clues to a chest and key hidden somewhere on their respective islands. It wasn’t a race or anything since both tribes got it. Nor did it even have a time limit or anything.
Basically, the scavengers had to follow easy-peasy clues and try not to accidentally wander into the ocean and get eaten by a whale. You call that a challenge? The challenge was trying to stay awake through the thing.
Despite the sound editors inserting some music meant to incite tension, the most interesting thing that happened was when Nico threw a coconut and nearly beaned Mzi on the head. Misaimed shot or passive-aggressive display of Nico’s attitude towards Mzi?
The Immunity Challenge was much more respectable. It involved aqueducts and water and balls and woks. Not quite sure what the woks had to do with Panamanian culture. Maybe the pirates were fond of stir fries. In any case, the Ramans should’ve nicked one so they could cook their chutneys and other fishier concoctions.
Since it was a puzzle challenge, you’d think the advantage would be towards the self-acknowledged ‘Brains’ of Rama, right? It was the ‘Brawn’ team that won the immunity driftwood however. So much for the vaunted braininess of Rama.
Aguilera returned in triumph to their camp where Mzi set about talking to the idol and trying to convince it to stay with them. Hey, it’s not as crazy as it sounds. After all, he has experience convincing blocks of wood to get in line – just look at how well behaved Brigitte’s been lately.
But there are still issues at Aguilera. Sanele, immobile arm tucked in a sling, stated the bloody obvious when he interviewed that his shoulder was still buggered. Really, Sanele? You don’t say. I could’ve sworn the sling was for fashion purposes only.
This could signal a possible change in Nico’s luck. Mzi told him that if Sanele continued to be so weak and they had to vote him out, the two of them would have to band together and vote off the women.
Nico was very happy about this as it meant it gave him a better chance of reaching the ‘merger’. Argh, it’s not a flippen’ merger! While I can see how the presence of Rama with their chairpersons and committees might lead one to think a merger might be involved, it’s called a merge. No ‘er’.
Rama’s own voting dilemma was very nicely explained to us last week by Ncumisa when she said it was between the two physically weakest links: her and Danielle. The problem for Ncumisa was that Danielle had formed better relationships with (ie schmoozed) the Alphas in charge. She tried to convince Danielle to leave the Gareth/Jacinda bloc and join her, Zayn and Lezel.
Danielle was a bit torn as to what to do and I hoped that she would see-saw so much between factions that they’d join together and vote her out for indecisiveness. Hey, it’s happened before. Anything to see Ncumisa spared.
Tribal Council made it abundantly clear how screwed Ncumisa was. Her supposed alliance member, Lezel, talked about how she was going to vote out the weakest and how you had to vote with the right people if you wanted to survive. The subtext was “Cheers, Ncumisa. I’m going to vote against you because Jacinda and Gareth are the power in this tribe.”
How powerful is Jacinda, you ask? According to her, she might as well have led them from the Pharaoh’s court into the Promised Land. “I stepped up and took control of this tribe and under my wise and benevolent leadership, we have flourished. God, I’m good,” is what she said, for all intents and purposes.
Careful, Jacinda. Shouting what an amazing leader you are from the mountaintops is not conducive to doing well in Survivor. That tends to lead to people pushing you off from behind.
The tribe voted and it was confirmed that Lezel had turned on Ncumisa. Bah. Damn you, Lezel. I understand you’re just trying to play the game but I will blow a raspberry at you anyway.
Poor Ncumisa was a great sport about the votes against her unlike certain other people,
Nico. She showed understandable disappointment without being a whiny little baby,
Nico. You could tell she was more disappointed in not being able to play the game any further rather than people daring to cast their votes against her,
Nico.
I will miss Ncumisa. She had an infectious enthusiasm for the game and just seemed so happy to be there. She was just enjoyable to watch and it sucks that I won’t be seeing her zest and zeal on my screen again.