EPISODE FOURTEENUrgh - what a nasty piece of work this show has turned out to be. Every week the situation’s gotten more iffy than the week before and just as it seemed impossible to get any more pathetic – it unbelievably did.
The fact that Trump fired both Kevin and Sandy was gut-wrenching, espesh seeing them being beaten by the most nothing, useless, lazy, manipulative, limelight stealing, lying, horse-faced Pig ever to have walked the boardroom planks in the history of the world.
The joke that the Finale’s turned out to be started at the very beginning of the penultimate episode when Donald informed Kevin, Kelly, Sandy and Jenn that they would be interviewed by four bigwigs from four different companies who’d advise him on who they thought should be in the final two.
As they wasted hours interrogating the Apprenti as if they already owned them, it was clear that they didn’t have one clue what they were looking for nor talking about. Eventually they stopped and gave Trump their misguided, evil advice which was to fire Sandy and Kevin in favour of keeping Kelly and the demon.
Their attempts to justify why they thought Sandy and Kevin should be fired made no sense at all. Them going on and on about Kevin being over-qualified and not settling down to a job – despite his constant explaining that his desire to commit was the very reason he’d applied for the show – it was all too ludicrous and pathetic to waste time and energy getting re-upset by.
When they gave their feedback to Trump and said that Kevin was too aggressive in how he presented himself – I’ve never heard such rubbish in my life! I’m getting soo annoyed just thinking back on it all that I can’t actually cope. What the stuff were talking about?? And how could Trump have believed them when he’s seen how excellent Kevin is?
The only reason there is for him turning on him is the same as what happened with Pamela - Trump was obviously threatened, seeing Kevin as being too independently-willed to suck butt the way he’d need to if he worked for Trump.
Same thing with Sandy not fitting into the yawny, cold-corridored, bitch-fest she’d need to suit to handle the job and the people. It was just too horrible when that uptight Pepsi chick went on and on at Sandy about not being able to do the job because she’s had no experience in the corporate world.
The way she’d made up her mind about Sandy before she’d even had the chance to mutter a word to explain that she could do it – which she defs could – it highlighted everything I despise about how it seems you have to treat people to get ahead in business.
Once everything was over and Trump proved himself to be such a total disappointment I was madly muttering curses at him, in between soothing Kev and Sandy with thoughts that they don’t need him – which they don’t.
If Bill’s strange, balding expression is anything to go by they’re better off as things currently are – even if the process of getting there meant being undermined and disrespected - which they’re luckily free from now.
There was something about what happened with them that really affected me deeply. Like I just know that if I were in their situation I would end up being eliminated for one of the reasons they were.
I wouldn’t be the right corporate-orientated type and even if I knew I could pretend and do everything properly, I wouldn’t be believed if I said I could or I’d be described as being too much of a loose cannon to be in business (which I have been before) or I’d be a risky choice. I just know that there would be one reason or another that I wouldn’t get to be Kelly or Jenn – no matter how hard I tried.
I also know that no matter how fuming, hurt and deflated I was as a result, I’d soon enough realise that I wouldn’t have wanted to be the winner. The idea of needing to be such a professional bullshitter who wins because you’re able to be the perfectly fake and know exactly how to schmooze up to the likes of Trump – I could never stay sane doing that.
Which is why I wish Kev and Sandy had said something along the lines of: “Thanks for the schmancy accommodation and grub - stuff your stinking job. Bye. ” Before they put themselves through the firing squad.
At least they’re not being forced to waste their time helping Kelly or Jenn win. After Sandy and Kevin’s firing Kelly and Jenn got their final task instructions to organise a big charity event for which they had to choose three out of six past-Apprenti to assist them.
Jenn chose Chris, Pamela and Stacy (in that order) and Kelly chose Elizabeth, Raj and Nameless – I have no clue who he is.
Kelly spent his time obsessing over his laptop while his assistants ran up and down the polo field and Jenn left everything important up to Pamela and Chris which thankfully looks set to result in disaster.
Trump’s obviously got his golden warrior in his military-trained Kelly, he’s proven he doesn’t give anyone a chance who isn’t a stereotyped clone of himself and Kelly is very similar to Bill - I actually don’t even know why he bothered to have a final two.
When he fired Sandy he even went so far as to tell Jenn and Sandy that Kelly is his favourite – which means everything that’s gonna happen next is a waste of time. Unless Jenn fails in un-imaginably embarassing ways – which would be very satisfying to see. There's just noo ways that she could win.
The whacked thing is the extent to which she confirms how ridiculous the entire situation is because thinking about it now – as much as I wanted Kevin or Sandy to stay – it makes more sense that they haven’t because they don't actually have the slimeball that it takes.
Goodbyee Kev and Sandy - I hope you make stacks and staacks of moolah.