If you think Dreamz played an illogical game last week, then you aint seen nothing yet. Mook’s reaction Dreamz voting off Michelle instead of Stacy was exactly what you’d expect: confused and angry. Why had Dreamz betrayed him so? Whhhyyy?
Dreamz explained his well-thought-out and carefully planned reason. Michelle had made a comment during TC that she didn’t really know Dreamz all that well and he had realised it was true. If she’d not mentioned it, he would never have voted her out. Well, that makes sens…wait, what? He voted her out on a whim? Why do I suspect there’s a tiny hyperactive puppy chasing a ball where Dreamz’ brain is supposed to be?
Mook was further nonplussed when Alex asked him to spread the idol love around a little bit. Mook’s eyes bulged at the thought of letting go of his precious turtle. His words said “I don’t know if that’s a good idea” while his mind screamed “It’s MINE! You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands!”"STEP OFF MY TURTLE, BITCH!"
Earl was the other person majorly put out by Dreamz’s mad strategy. Now he was going to have to bring in another member to replace the Michelle, as well as convince the dreaded swing vote to be on his side. He decided to bring in Boo, who was more than happy not to be on the chopping block anymore (and knowing him, he would actually get something chopped off) and Dreamz who was, well, Dreamz. “Dreamz is a wildcard,” Earl informed us. He’s not just a wildcard, he’s part of a whole different deck.
A brief respite from all the strategising came in the form of a Reward Challenge. It was one of those Q&As which tested how well the castaways could predict what their fellow tribemates thought about each other.
So what does everyone think of one another? Well, Earl is the one who the tribemates would trust their lives with and Yau-Man is the one they’d most like with them on a desert island. Hell, Yau-Man’s the one I’d most like with me anywhere. He’s the MacGyveriest Survivor yet.
Dreamz won smelliest and Alex won both Most Entitled and Guy Who Mistakenly Believes He’s In Control. Considering the ending of this episode, that last one is spot on. No-one wants Boo at their family dinner, probably because they’re worried he’d stab himself with the silverware.
The most amusing part was learning that everyone hates Stacy. Besides being the first one knocked out of the challenge, she was voted Person Who’d Most Wasted This Unique Opportunity as well as Bitch No-one Wants To See Ever Again After The Show. Ha! I agree with them and I’ve only seen about three minutes of her overall this season. It takes someone special to come across as so thoroughly unpleasant with so little screentime.
The question that decided the winner was “Who surprised you the most athletically?” Now I see you nodding your head and saying “Yau-Man, duh. He’s prawn-sized and yet he’s constantly kicking everyone’s asses”. Cassandra was aware of this because she’s paid more than three seconds of attention to Yau-Man. Dreamz was not because he has a hyperactive puppy for a brain.
Cassandra won, and impressively so. She managed to get every question right. Nice. I’m a bit disappointed we haven’t seen much of her strategic game because I suspect she’s an important part of Earl’s clued-in-ness. Cassandra’s prize was a trip on a luxury yacht. Said luxury yacht will still be less luxurious than Moto Mansion was.
She picked Mook to go to Exile Island which pissed him off. He called her “quiet in a deceiving, conniving way” which is Stupid for “She stabbed me in the back before I could stab her”. He vowed to avenge his Exile. Oh simmer down, Dirty Harry. It’s bad enough when Alex acts like he’s the Godfather. Don’t you start thinking you control anything but your immunity turtle. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS CASSANDRA! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!"
Meanwhile, the quiet, deceptive one tried to decide who she would pick to go on the yacht with her. She picked Boo and Dreamz because she needed to confirm them as part of Team Earl, as well as Yau-Man who deserves the pampering because he’s Yau-freakin-Man. Chuck Norris who? Yau’s the new ass-kicker in town.
On the yacht, the foursome drank champagne and toasted “Gentlemen, to evil”. OK, no they didn’t but they might as well have. They resolved to team up and vote the four
three Mulemen out. Mookie's right. The evil just radiates from her.
After returning from his stint on Lifestyles of the Rich and Smelly, Dreamz reflected on the fact that he was the swing vote. More like a swing and a miss. Dreamz’s head puppy could barely process this fact. “Too much information, it’s clogging my mind,” he lamented. That happens a lot. He’s a 56k in a broadband world.
Dreamz took the ‘swing’ part a little too literally and started to bounce around back and forth like a game of Ping Pong. First, he went to Alex and tried to figure out what the plan was. Alex said he was thinking of using Mook’s idol just in case he was in danger. Dreamz was skeptical and said it was like Mook was in Lord of the Rings. We all know what happened to Gollum at the end of that movie and it did not end with him winning a million dollars and marrying Liv Tyler.Mookie and his precious
Then Dreamz went to Team Earl and tried to find out how they were voting. Earl got steely-eyed and was all “Loyalty, biotch. Show some”. Dreamz did so by telling Earl that Mook was in possession of the idol and was “sharing” it with Alex and Edgardo. It’s hard to tell what surprised Earl and co more – that Mook had the idol and was willing to share it with Alex and Ed, or that Dreamz had given up that information so easily.
Another break from the ping-ponging and idol-hopping came with the Immunity Challenge. It was your basic balancing challenge and Yau-Man was the person who won it. I will laugh and laugh if Yau-Man turns out to be this season’s immunity monster. The worst thing about the challenge was all the close-ups of everyone’s skeevy feet. The second-worse was Boo suddenly and briefly bursting into song.
Back to the backstabbing. With Yau-Man safe, Earl was able to borrow his spare turtle idol. They decided they would vote for Alex. The Dreamz-ball bounced over to Alex and told him he was in danger. With his head so perilously close to the chopping block, Alex used all his lawyerly skills to convince Mook to let him use the idol. Mook was not happy but finally relented. Sadly, we did not get to see touching goodbye scene between Mook and Turtle.
Yau-Man told Stacy exactly which way her vote should blow. Alex then approached Stacy and tried to convince her to vote for Earl. Stacy put on her poker-face, which looks remarkably similar to her normal blank face, come to think of it.
Stacy immediately scurried to Team Earl to reveal that the three Mulemen were voting for Earl. Good to see Alex and Edgardo’s attempts to bring Stacy in as their fifth alliance member worked out so well for them.
Just to confuse things even further, both alliances decided to change their votes. The mulemen decided to vote for Cassandra because, according to them, she was the warm gooey centre to Team Earl’s Rolo.
Dreamz bounced over to Team Earl and revealed the Mulemen’s change of vote. As if my head wasn’t spinning enough, Stacy of all people came up with a pretty good plan: if they voted for Edgardo, rather than Alex or Mook, they’d probably be able to avoid the hidden immunity idol completely. How is Stacy suddenly on the decision-making committee on Team Earl anyway?
Sooo Team Earl wanted to vote for Edgardo and the Mulemen wanted to vote for Cassandra, got that? Everyone was pretty much confused as to what was going on, as Tribal Council soon showed. Edgardo admitted to Jeff he had no freakin’ clue what was going on. Dude, neither do I and I’ve had it explained to me in nicely-edited clips. I don’t know who’s on whose side and who’s faking and…gah, my head hurts.
Voting time. When Jeff asked if anyone had the hidden immunity idol, a smug-looking Alex stood up and dangled his turtle in front of Jeff’s face. Jeff revealed the first three votes: Cassandra. Mook looked even more smug than Alex had. Jeff then revealed a vote for Mook (courtesy of Dreamz). Mook got pouty. The next four votes were revealed and they were all for Edgardo. Alex and Mook looked vaguely ill. Heh heh. So much for your cunning plans, masterminds.
In his final words, Edgardo blathered some nonsense about who was deserving and fervently hoped Cassandra would be voted off soon. Huh, I never figured Edgardo for sour grapes. See, this is what happens when you spend long periods of time with mooks like Mook.
Next week: Dreamz, you got some ‘splainin’ to do. Why’d you vote for Mook? The Mulemen discover Yau-Man’s idol when they conduct an illegal search of his possessions. Oy! You need a warrant for that!