Mary Alice: Have you met the perfect couple? The two soulmates, whose love never dies? The two lovers, whose relationship is never threatened? The husband and wife, who trust each other completely? If you haven't met the perfect couple, let me introduce you. They stand atop a layer of butter-cream frosting. The secret of their success? Well, for starters, they don't have to look at each other
Well who knew Bree moved fast, Husband number two already and Rex has only been dead give or take 18 months! Anyways Bree is preparing for her wedding to ‘wife killer’ Orson Hodge.
The girls are all there and Susan gives her a tip about a shorter dress as if we really needed a slutty housewife wedding. Lynette then gives some advice about invitations and Gabrielle about the music- finally after watching the girl jog most of season 1 with her iPod she can now put it to some good use!
Everyone seems to has a job except for Susan, in fact Susan isn’t happy about Bree marrying Orson. I don’t know if it’s bitter because her lover Mike is still in a coma or because she met Orson first (remember Susan met him in the movies and pretended to be his date when she saw Mike and another date come in!) Susan attempts to talk Bree out of marrying Orson. In fact it went something like this;
Bree: And what mistake would that be?
Mary-Alice: Yes, a bridesmaid can question many of the brides choices...
Susan: These dresses are hideous.
Mary Alice: ... but the groom is not one of them
In my own special Mary Alice Voice Over, Yes, Susan Mayer was a little afraid when it came to relationships of her own, but when it was someone else’s, she was down right chicken.
Gabrielle and Carlos are fighting at their divorce lawyer’s office but lawyer says to them that when the baby comes, divorced or not, they will be bounded together for as long as they live.
Gabrielle: (slaps Carlos' hand) Stop eating my fries!
Carlos: I'm hungry.
Gabrielle: You know what? The doctor said, (to the mediator) You should see his cholesterol, this man bleeds bacon grease.
Mediator: Enough! You two are going to have to find a way to deal with each other, because you are about to bring a child into this world and divorced or not? Once that child arrives, you will be bound together for as long as you live.
Gabrielle: Well in that case, (to Carlos) have some more fries.
Nora got a boyfriend, yes I was shocked aswell how anyone can deal with her irritation and annoyance! Anyways Nora and her new boyfriend Turk, go out of town but Tom starts freaking out when he sees him because he has tattoos all over his body but Lynette is good with it as long as it will keep Nora away from them and I’m sure Lynette was secretly hoping Nora could provoke him and get beaten to death. If only Lynette.
Susan goes and has that dinner date with Ian and whilst having dinner, guess who rocks up, Ian’s wife whose in a coma, Jane’s parents and it gets completely awkward. In order to cover it up and make it look completely innocent, Susan is introduced as Dr. Susan Mayer (now if your going to lie, why use your real name, these people are Jane’s parents they can just check with Hospital records and plus I am sure they will be visiting Jane is hospital and have seen Susan around), new to Jane’s neurology team. I don’t know how stupid these parents are but for anyone to have bought that Susan was a doctor—geez!! But then Jane’s father asks her about Jane’s condition and Susan starts to explain something so Susan like in doing so nonetheless, but then she pretends that her cellphone’s is ringing and she fakes the conversation so she had to rush for a surgery because one of her patients brain shut off. Absolutely funny stuff and only Susan gets herself into situations like that!!
Ian: Uh, let's give Dr. Mayer the night off, she was in surgery for 10 hours today performing a Craniotomy.
Reneé: That's exactly the proceedure Jane had, how'd it go?
Susan: Uh.., well... I...it..just...wow! I hear my, my phone vibrating! (into phone) um, hello? uh, Dr Mayer. Yea-what? you say that his brain, shut off? Oh, I'll be, right there, um, Stat! (to everyone else) I'm sorry, duty calls.
(Susan then grabs a glass of wine on her way out and skulls the contents as she goes)
Bree’s moved the furniture so she can practice her dance with Orson again. She then lets the wife killer that she completely believes him. Even after this ‘your marrying a psycho’ storyline is no stranger to Bree. Oh why does this have to happen to her!!
At the end of last week’s episode we saw a body in the construction site, the police have dug up the body. Cause of death was a head injury. And because the body was covered in clay- this prevented body from decomposing. The sickest thing was when she died someone had pulled out all her teeth, you know how they establish who you are from your dental records… mmm did I mention that Orson was a dentist… but anyways whoever did this didn’t anticipate the clay keeping the body intact now they can determine who she is using CSI with the DNA. Where’s Marg Helgenberger when you need her (oh she’s coming up next!!)
Nora is crying in front of the Scavos. It seems like she broke up with her boyfriend because he called her a whore and he threatened to hit her- oh things just get better. But can you dump the man for being honest and telling the truth!! Lynette is trying to makes things right, not because she cares about Nora’s well being or sex life, but single Nora means trouble for Lynette and Tom and as we’ve seen over the course of the series, Lynette will go to any extreme for her family and husband. Nora assures Lynette it is definitely over, which was expected!
Over at Edie’s when Edie hears a noise she assumes that someone’s breaking in, you know since Wisteria Lane is Crime Street. Anyways it just turns out it’s her nephew Austin!
Austin tells Edie that his mom returned from her journey with new boobs and her twenty four year old boyfriend and it’s clearly obvious she’s having issues with her age, must be mid life crisis. Austen got into a fight with him and was forced to leave and come and visit Edie. He is planning to go to Mexico but Edie tells him that he will stay with her until sort things out and make it right.
Gabby is telling to Xeo Mei to return to bed because she is on the bed rest and close to popping that huge pregnancy pad out, when Carlos stops by and gives Gaby his mother pearl necklace. In return Gaby invites him to Bree’s wedding and she gives him a kiss and says “The things I do for jewellery”.
Ian comes to Susan, who is with Mike at the hospital, and apologies for dinner accident. Susan confesses to him that she has been feeling guilty and he has been feeling the same way too, because the both feel like they are cheating on their coma lovers. However Ian thinks of Susan more of a friend but Susan says if they can’t be friends they will be nothing.
Julie is pissed off because of the loud music. She goes to Edie’s lawn and turns it down and she sees Austin, and she is somewhat charmed. He makes fun of her for studying on Saturday morning and she just says to him that he is not that hot trying to get back at him.
Lynette is making a sitting order for Bree’s wedding. She decides to invite Nora because she wants her to find a new boyfriend so that she might leave Tom alone.
While running daily errands like getting the mail, Susan sees Orson trying to take off a rope from their car and looses his nerves too fast. Then she goes to bank where Carolyn Bigsby (from last week who confronted Bree) works and asks her about Alma. She says to Susan that Orson, after Alma disappeared, completely cleaned the house. It was like Alma never existed.
Carolyn: Who cleans a house like that unless he has something to hide?
Me: Bree that is; And her husband just suites her perfectly now.
The ladies meet up again and gossip, ooh anyways Susan tells Lynette and Gabby that Orson is number one suspect because they never found the body. She found out all this from Caroline.
The girls then decide that they wanna try to talk Bree out of the wedding but she tells them that she is not falling for silly talks.
Bree: He did not hack her up and dissolve the pieces in acid!
Gabrielle: I said it was a theory.
Lynette: The point is, Alma disappeared under very suspicious circumstances.
Bree: I don't have time for this. I'm getting married now.
Susan: This is your day. You can push the ceremony back an hour. Now get that detective on the phone, talk things out with Orson.
Bree: I can't talk to Orson. It's bad luck for the groom to see
the bride before the wedding.
Lynette: You know what's really bad luck? Marrying a wife-killer
Bree and Orson are at the altar but before they exchange their promises Bree asks him if he killed his wife. Orson is shocked that Bree could possibly think such thing. Very typical Bree to do the unexpected and while it was a shock, I found it mildly amusing!
Everybody is celebrating, but Nora is pissed off because all of the single men are losers so decides to tag along and stay with Lynette.
Gabby is fixing Carlos’ tie, he mistakes her simple gesture for affection and assumes that things is going well for him and Gabby.
Edie comes in with her nephew Austen and asks Julie if the two have already met.
Susan, bored with her life and storyline, goes up to Gabby and Carlos and asks them if they are getting back together- how forward of her, Gabrielle says “God NO!” but Carlos says maybe.
He tells Gabby that her fixing his tie was a sing of love but then she ruins it completely as a sing that they will never be together ever.
Susan sees Ian at the weeding party, and I wonder is this man a stalker, and she asks him who invited him. He is a bad liar because he can’t stop thinking about her.
Gabby wants to make Carlos jealous so she finds a gay waiter, what is it with Gabby and Carlos and the homosexual, Gabby always tries to seduce or Carlos gets it wrong and beats them up, Anyways Gabby starts flirting with him. At that same time, Carlos comes to the bar and wonders if there are any normal decent single women, so Lynette decides to sieze the moment and introduces Carlos to Nora.
Tom announces Bree and Orson’s first dance but Orson is mad that Bree asked him about Alma.
Carlos and Nora hit it off and get along well. Gabby is pissed off and asks Nora who she is and Nora said that Lynette brought them together and Gabby will talk to Lynette later but then she attacks Carlos and he is drunk and mad and destroys her pearl necklace. They start to pick up all the pears from the floor, but then Xeo Mei enters and her water breaks all over the flour and it’s about damn time!!
Gabrielle: Hey, you are supposed to be on bed rest!
Xeo-Mei: I'm bored!
Gabrielle: Well, why don't you try putting on a pair of pants? That should kill a couple of hours
Before they continue dancing Ian wants to talk to Susan, she answers back and he tells him again how she feels about him…then everyone continues to dance.
Lynette visits Gabrielle at the hospital who is still mad at her. Lynette says to her that she is desperate and her marriage is ruined because of Nora but Gabby tells her that some people are meant to be together so Lynette doesn’t have to worry about anything.
Drama happens when Detectives come at Bree’s wedding looking for both Bree and Orson, why do things like this happen to weddings, so they could identify the Jane Doe at the morgue.
Gabby and Carlos finally have their baby as Xeo Mei gives birth to a healthy baby, but the baby is black. It turns out to be an African American baby.It turns out that wrong embryo was inserted into Xeo Mei and their embryo was inserted into another woman but she didn’t get pregnant. So all this was for nothing, very upsetting. I must say I am somewhat relieved seeing Gabby as a single mother would have ruined her character, would have been fine for an episode or two but that’s it!
Bree and Orson are at the morgue and Jane Doe is not identified to be Alma, but then Carolyn walks in and she also says that it is not Alma. She is still trying to talk Bree out of the marriage but Bree is certain that Orson is completely innocent. On the way out Orson whispers in French “I miss you Monique”, clearly telling us the body is Monique- who could she be?
Carlos drives Gabrielle back home and says that the divorce will be easier now without the baby, I can imagine but the two must also bee feeling a huge sense of loss since their childless now but rid of the useless and somewhat irritating Xeo Mei, I will miss the feistiness between her and Gabby thought!!
MAVO time, my favourite time. “Have you met the perfect couple? Two soul mates whose love never dies, two lovers whose relationship is never threatened, the husband and wife who trust each other completely?”
And we see Susan and Ian are dancing alone, and slowly falling in love! Ah great what the hell does that mean!!?!
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