A long, long time ago (well…two weeks ago), Cao Boi was voted out of Aitu. The two most important things to remember about this particular Tribal Council is that Flicka was the only one who didn’t vote for Cao Boi and that Nate was kidnapped and made a temporary Aitu member.
Flicka may think that Survivor is one big summer camp but she’s not completely dense to the twists and turns of the game. So, when Aitu got back to camp, she decided to confront them about being out of the loop. According to her, the vote knocked her off her socks. One wonders why she was standing on her socks in the first place.
Don’t be too quick to give her credit because the silly twit decided to complain about it right in front of Nate. The other members of Aitu looked uncomfortable and tried to get her to shut up while Nate filed away the info in his brain for future use. Hey, Flicka? Next time, why don’t you just draw him a handy diagram of the tribal dynamics and save time.
The first bit of treemail mentioned something about flying and I got momentarily excited at the possibility of a challenge in which the contestants were shot out of cannons but alas, I was to be disappointed. It was also a little different as it came with a handy catalogue from which the tribes could choose any two items as their reward.
Poverty is a voracious reader of any books involving big letters and colourful pictures..The Raro lot had difficulty in choosing exactly what they wanted. They all wanted peanut butter which is not only good in protein but apparently so delicious when eaten with chocolate that it inspires Survivor contestants to strip. Or so I’ve heard. Most of them wanted some bread while Brad suggested they should take a bag of potatoes instead. I’m with Brad myself. Bread would get mouldy how quickly? In the Battle of the Starch, I’m on Team Potato. He was overruled and the tribe chose bread. Not that this ended up mattering.
The challenge consisted of two parts – a swimming section and a puzzle section. Unsure of how hard Nate would try if he were competing for them, Aitu sat him out. Brad, apparently driven mad by his team’s prejudice against potatoes decided that instead of doing the swimming part of it, he would do the puzzle part. This left Adam, Poverty and Rebecca doing the swimming. Against Ozzy, Yul and Candice. Yeah, you can imagine how that turned out.
Now is not the time to go streaking, Rebecca!Adam and Poverty did well enough but Rebecca was…not good. I think she may be allergic to water. How else do you explain her total body shutdown during the challenge? As Raro tried to revive poor, dying Rebecca, Aitu whizzed past them and got to work on their puzzle.
"Rebecca's dead! If we win, this means more peanut butter for us, right?"Did I forget to mention that this oh-so-challenging puzzle that apparently required puzzle savant Brad’s full attention was to put together a map of the world? I know the stereotype is that Americans are bad at geography but even this group of numbnuts would surely be able to shove the continents in the right place.
"ADAM SMASH PLATE WITH HEAD!"Anyway, Aitu finished their puzzle before the Puzzle Savant even got to touch his. Great strategy there, Brad. Aitu chose Adam to go to Exile Island (maybe they rightfully figured from looking at him that even if the idol was still around, there’s no way he’d find it) and took home their spoils of victory: peanut butter and potatoes.
Besides being rich in protein and spontaneously inducing strip shows, peanut butter is also a great aphrodisiac, if that trollop Candice’s reaction was anything to go by. Not that she was all that shy before the peanut butter as evidenced by her verrry comfortable hugging of Yul (shipper name: Yuldice) and Ozzy (shipper name: Cozzy) after the challenge but she was even more handsy than usual declaring to all of her fellow Aitu members “I am in love with you all”. And people say Poverty is the flirt.
Not content to sink her claws into individual contestants, Candice also regularly engages in kinky threesomes.No such peanut butter bliss awaited Raro. They were all pissed at Brad for choosing to do the puzzles instead of swimming. Poverty was feeling especially violent and said, “I feel like punching Brad in the mouth.” In a flirty way, of course.
Over on Exile Island, Adam too was feeling frustrated with his tribe that was bringing down his greatness. “I feel like I’m an eagle among turkeys,” he lamented. I see Adam as more of a booby among more boobies myself. A great storm then descended upon him for daring to assume he was any less lame than the rest of his tribe.
As if Aitu weren’t already living large gorging themselves on peanut butter, Ozzy showed up at camp with a seagull. “Kill it and we’ll eat it,” his tribe shouted enthusiastically. Oh sure, when Cao Boi brings down a booby nest, it’s a national tragedy but when Ozzy finds a seagull, it’s party time.
Why do I have a sudden urge to sing "Bear Necessities"?Candice described Ozzy as “part fish, part monkey and part something else”. Escapee from the Island of Dr Moreau perhaps?
Ozzy's family portrait.The main alliance in Aitu were beginning to reconsider voting out their favourite monkey-fish-child. How would they get their three balanced meals a day without him? Instead they wondered whether they should get rid of paranoid, annoying Flicka instead.
Still, with Raro’s complete suckiness, surely Aitu wouldn’t even need to go to TC? That looked to be the case throughout most of the Immunity Challenge. It again involved some swimming and puzzle-solving, as well as a zipline and building a set of stairs from poles. Raro immediately started falling behind when the men argued over the size of their poles. Typical. They continued to lag as the challenge wore on and it looked like an easy victory for Aitu.
At this point, I should mention that although everyone had criticised Brad for not doing the swimming, this time around it was Adam who didn’t even go near the swimming section because he was waiting at the puzzle section. Good to see Raro learning from its mistakes.
And yet somehow, even though they were trailing quite badly behind, even though Poverty decided to take a leisurely walk through the water instead of swimming at one point, even though it was Adam doing the puzzle section, Raro won. I’m not quite sure how it happened either.
I have no idea what Candice is doing in this pic. All I know is that there is BLOOD on her shirt and it's freaking me out. Is it the blood of her enemies? Is she secretly a vampire? Is she into Angelina Jolie knife sex as well?Despite Jonathan’s worries that Ozzy would dominate the challenges after the merge, the fish-monkey’s head seemed pretty firmly off the chopping block. Instead, Flicka was considered, as well as Jonathan himself for looking untrustworthy. You’d think an actor would be better at feigning sincerity and trustworthiness.
“People are worried I think too much,” Jonathan worried to the camera. Someone thinking too much? On this show? Never.
Tribal Council came and Flicka was cheerful as usual. She sunnily talked about having fun in the game like it was some island roller derby she’d signed up for. I’m still not entirely sure what someone like her is doing there.
Luckily, I didn’t have to wonder any longer because the votes were cast and Flicka’s flame was snuffed. So long, rollergirl. Turns out you weren’t very much like Courtney after all. She was way more interesting than you for one.
Next week: A very secret and special surprise twist that will blow everyone off their socks. Oh, I am on the edge of my seat in anticipation.