SOUTH AFRICA'S TV WEBSITE
SIGN IN SEARCH MENU
SOUTH AFRICA'S TV WEBSITE


Island Living

Written by Cloud9 from the blog Tribal Talk on 13 Dec 2006
Favourite this post


Hey! Guess what’s back after a three season absence. No, not Big Tom’s flabby dance of victory, silly. I’m talking about the midseason recap episode.

Wait, come back! It’s not as bad as it sounds. The never-before-seen scenes were nicely captioned so you could space out and play cellphone games while the totally-before-seen scenes played. And a few of the never-before-seen scenes were even enjoyable and not just boring filler.

So what new facts did we learn about our favourite nutters? Read on, dear reader.

Remember when the teams were divided by age and sex? Turns out the younger chicks had far greater problems to deal with than trying to pick a spot for the shelter and mourning dead turtles. They also had a tough nut to crack. No, I’m not talking about Courtney. I mean an actual coconut.

Courtney was as ineffectual with the machete as she is at normal social interaction so it was up to Sally to kill the coconut. Wielding the weapon with devilish delight, she talked about how comfortable she was with the machete because of the time she’d worked in construction (!) where her favourite thing to do had been the demolition (!!).

Hee hee, awesome. I love the thought of cute, little Sally, clad in pigtails and knee socks, getting her kicks by blowing things up. Wearing a hard hat and oversized overalls over a tight tanktop, all smudgy and sweaty and...uh, ahem. I’ll be in my bunk.

constructionsally
Rare archive footage from Sally's past

Remember how Tina was the only capable woman among the at the Older Women’s camp? She discovered the world’s oldest oysters, embedded in the rock for a million years. She decided she would keep these ancient pieces of seafood for herself. Hey, if the other women didn’t even bother to keep her after she brought them the fish, good for her that she hoarded

Remember when Bruce did karate? In case you had forgotten, there was ALL NEW footage of Bruce doing karate. Because he’s into karate, ya know? Apparently, karate is a vital part of his gameplan. Maybe he’s going to threaten to beat the crap out of people if they vote for him.

So Bruce practices karate. You got that? I can move on? Good.

Remember when Misty was exiled and (badly) pretended to have found the immunity idol? When she got back, the other chicks probed her about her oh-so-subtle insinuations she might have it. Courtney did a flaky inquisition on her and managed to learn absolutely nothing. Something tells me Courtney’s interrogation techniques will not be adopted by the FBI any time soon.

Sally realised Misty was probably full of crap but the other chicks stayed clueless. Misty admitted she was a rubbish liar in a confessional, not that it stopped her fooling the hyper-aware Courtney and Danielle.

Remember how Bruce liked karate? Apparently all that martial arts madness is bad for the hands and during a thunderstorm, he decided to wash his hands. With the Younger Guys’ drinking water supply.

Well, that’s…ew. But it’s not like he physically washed his hands in the water. He simply poured some out onto his hands. Shane naturally took exception to this because he can’t not complain about anyone for more than ten minutes, and bitched that they only had half a bottle of drinking water left.

Shane pointed out that if Bruce needed to wash his hands, all he’d have to do is wash his hands in the pouring rain outside, missing the point that he could refill the water bottle the exact same way. Maybe he’s scared that Sir God would have spiked the rainwater as Shane’s punishment for screaming at the heavens?

Remember when the Young Chicks were young and together? Courtney taught them a Spanish language song about womanhood (or, as Courtney probably spells it, womynhood?) and togetherness and *bleep!*? It was entitled “Mujeres locas que aman a las tortugas y a hippies que cantan” and was actually a nice moment, despite my usual contempt for all things Courtney.

Remember when the fools finally merged? And by finally, I mean episode 2 but it took like half an hour for the show just to get to that. All the freaks went into Casaya and not a single one of them knew how to light a fire.

Cirie and Melinda were so desperate for nourishment that they had to turn to sucking water off leaves. OH NOES! Cirie was reduced to turning to her biggest fear for nourishment!

I bet when Cirie signed up for the show, she never imagined she’d be licking those hated leaves. But that’s the way TV works with these love/hate couplings. I always knew all that antagonism Cirie and leaves had for each other was as a result of unresolved sexual tension.

Remember when Cirie said what we were all thinking and delighted in her terrible team’s hatred of each other? Here’s another one from her: Casaya is made up of the “craziest, sickest, aggravatingest people ever”.

Just to prove her right, there was footage of yet another fight between the hapless Casayans. Danielle complained about Bobby’s laziness and I swear, is there someone on that tribe that hasn’t been accused of laziness? They spend more time worrying about their tribemates’ sleeping habits than they do working and then they wonder why someone else accuses them of not working.

Bobby did not take this lying down and called them all 7th grade girls. Shane took offense to being compared to a 7th grade girl because he sees himself more as the dirty pusher who sells drugs to 7th grade girls.

Bobby also described Courtney as having a negative attitude. Now, there are many, many things one can accuse Coutney of, but I cannot imagine the turtle-loving earth mother could possibly be that negative. Maybe she should teach him the Spanish girl power song to change his mind?

This was where Aras was elected leader because he may be a condescending, faux-sensitive jackass, but condescending, faux-sensitive jackasses make for better leaders than crackheaded psychotics and permanently zoned-out hippies.

Under the new leadership, the tribe’s first act was to kill a small snake Aras claimed was a boa. Why am I not surprised Aras is the type to lie about the size of his snake? The tribe ate the alleged boa and Courtney gave a long spiel about how snakes stand for transformation. Ye gods, is there an animal that stands for SHUT THE HELL UP?!

More Casaya action came when Shane snurfled about how he was missing his son who was turning thirteen. “Why did I come here? I want to be close to the people I love,” he said. And by ‘people’, he means ‘Marlboroughs’.

Courtney declared that Shane’s tattoo meant he was the best father in the world. Is that all I takes? A tattoo? Does this mean that if I get a picture of a stethoscope, I can be the world’s greatest doctor? The Casayans then put aside their differences to sing a dreadful rendition of Happy Birthday. It sounded like a dirge. Maybe they’re preparing for when young Boston is sucked into hell because of Shane’s swearing on his name.

Remember when Terry and co voted off Misty, not only depriving me of the world’s hottest alliance, but also leaving Sally scrambling to save herself? Turns out it was Austin who played a big part in convincing the rest of La Mana to keep her over Ruth Marie after bonding with her over her sob story.

A teary Sally explained that her strict, fundamentalist parents had disowned her because she had gotten divorced. Shame, that’s awful. I cannot believe parents can be that cold towards their child, especially over something like divorce which is pretty much universally accepted nowadays.

Remember when Bobby and Danielle hated each other? In order to prove he wasn’t a lazy ass, Bobby decided to try start the fire. He pretended not to know how to make a fire at all and struggled with concepts like ‘stick in the fire’. As Cirie giggles next to her, Danielle gaped at him with a pissed off expression on her face. He who laughs last didn’t get the joke but how bad is it when you don’t even realise it’s a joke?

She eventually got so fed up, she shooed him away and made the fire herself. Avoidance of work through the pretense of mental retardation? I like it!

Remember when Casaya won cleaning products? It wasn’t all dropping deuces in the Casa de Charmin. There was also soap. Cue extreme close-up of Danielle’s soaped-up bosom. Subtle, pervy cameramen. Almost as subtle as Danielle’s boob job.

As if this gratuitous T&A wasn’t enough, the pervy cameramen then delighted in shots of Courtney and Danielle soaping each other up. A bathing scene involving the fern-haired hippie and the walking pair of novelty teeth. Sex-ay. You just know the producers were wishing La Mina had won this reward instead so they could have gratuitous bathing shots of Misty and Sally instead.

The chicks complained about the guys’ hair getting on the soap and asked that there be a male soap and a female soap. Ooh, then they can get together and have lots of little baby soaps.

Shane scoffed at this idea, as is his wont, and called the female soap the lunatic soap. He then immediately used the newly christened lunatic soap for himself. Make of that what you will. “Hey, girls, I’m using your soap,” he mocked as he scrubbed his butt vigorously Or maybe he was just lubing up his ass so the coke baggies could slip out easier.

And on that delightful note, the show ended. Well, no it didn’t but that was the last of the new scenes. The preview for the second half of the season was the most interesting part of the show, because it showed someone getting injured and taken away by medics. Dear lord, I knew those Casayans draw blood eventually. I wonder who snapped first?



Comments


Only TVSA members can reply to this thread. Click here to login or register.






LATEST ARTICLES

New on TV today: Friday 29 March 2024

There's music and lights in SuperCulture on Channel O and the film Wallflower airs on Fuse TV.


Game of Lies Teasers - April 2024

Series finale! The rescue attempt gets underway before a final reckoning.


Gqeberha: The Empire 2 Teasers - April 2024

The Mxenge Hotel turns into a whodunnit. A gunshot. Murder. In which room and by who?


The Wife 3 Teasers - April 2024

Naledi’s sex tape sees the spotlight again and catches her in the headlights.


Skerpioen Teasers - April 2024

A torched boat, poison in wine and youthful memories die when Ferda tries to kill Ahmet.


Imlie Teasers - April 2024

Imlie takes Ashu to the hospital when he falls ill, but kidnappers attempt to abduct him.


My Desire Teasers - April 2024

Kaashvi clears her name and reports Pradyumna's bribery attempt to the police.


New on TV today: Thursday 28 March 2024

Season 2 of Dam premieres on M-Net and Grey's Anatomy 20 drops on Disney+.


Hlomla Dandala confirmed to debut as Caesar on Smoke & Mirrors Season 2

The past collides with soon in the latest on Hlomla's whereabouts.


Smoke & Mirrors Teasers - April 2024

Season 1 finale and crossover alert! Caesar takes Thandiswa to the House of Zwide for her wedding dress.

LATEST SITE ACTIVITY


More activity at TVSA Central



LATEST SOAPIE TEASERS



LATEST SOAPIE TEASERS




Not Your Typical Bios:


Survivor Cook Islands

More Survivor Goodness:


×
×

You browser doesn't have Flash, Silverlight, Gears, BrowserPlus or HTML5 support.