Bruce Kanegai's Official Bio
Bruce Kanegai (as in “Kanegai get his drink around here or does he have to call the manager”) is a Japanese-American who has a Black Belt from the Shotokan Karate School.
Wait, so not only is the black guy from the mean streets of LA but the Japanese guy’s a karate master? Way to break stereotypes there, Burnett. Is there also a South-East Asian guy who owns a convenience store? An Italian guy who works at a pizzeria? An Arab plotting to blow up Panama on national television?
Oy. Back to Bruce Not-Lee. He has taught over 10 000 students in his stint as an art teacher. He has further taught 7000 Daniel-Sans the mystical ways of the East for 40 years and is finishing a book on Shotokan Karate (ghost-written by Austin Carty, it is the inspirational tale of a young Karate student who learns to sublimate his depression over losing his mother into kicking people in the shins).
He is an avid backpacker and taught police officers the ancient art of Unagi. He has had several close brushes with death including being bitten by a rattlesnake while golfing. Where the hell does he golf that he is attacked by giant rattlesnakes? Luckily, he survived and probably incorporated the snake into his next Karate lesson in some profound but impossible-to-understand saying:
“A wise man once said ‘do not play with snakes unless you can run with tigers or else you will swim with fish’.”