SOUTH AFRICA'S TV WEBSITE
SIGN IN SEARCH MENU
SOUTH AFRICA'S TV WEBSITE


Brandon Is Abandoned

Written by Cloud9 from the blog Tribal Talk on 07 Jun 2006
Favourite this post


Time for a howler monkey cry of rage and frustration:

AARRRGHGGHGHGHGGGHGHHHHHHH!!!!

I cannot believe that Pig Jamie escaped the chop!! I was so hopeful that his gaping mouth would be the end of him and that he’d fail to even make the jury. Instead, the expected happened and poor Brandon went was voted out by the bitches of Nukem.

Damn them. My greatest wish for this season is to see the members of Yahtzee beat the arrogant members of the Axis of Evil.

I started off the episode loving Yahtzee and hating most of Nukem. As the episode wore on, my supports of Yahtzee and hatred of Nukem only grew. Especially Jamie. God, I hate Jamie.

Jamie had contracted a bad case of smug hubris. As soon as Yahtzee set foot in the Nukem camp, Jamie got defensive and started marching along, showing his red bum to the interlopers and marking his territory. More than any other Nukem members, he made the new arrivals feel like they didn’t belong, what with his smartass comments that they would have to sleep outside the shelter.

Not that the rest of Nukem were much better, asserting their superiority by putting the Yahtzees to work while draping themselves over the pyramid and watching like slave overlords.

I was so on Yahtzee’s side. Except for Rafe, Nukem are a dour lot of complainers who are acting like bullies because they have the power. Can you believe Steph was actually acting entitled about getting food? On Survivor? It was bad enough when she was acting like the world owed her victories in every challenge, but it’s become ridiculous if she’s now acting like the world owes her a feast.

Hey Steph, why don’t you try eating your pride instead? Lord knows it’s big enough to feed you for the rest of the game.

As usual, Bobby Jon put it far more eloquently than I ever could by saying how spending thirty seconds with Steph made him want to throw up and how he wanted to punch Jamie every time he saw him. From the mouths of babes.

Yahtzee, fun-loving lot that they are, decided to go fishing instead of listening to Nukem whine about everything from mosquitoes to the stinkiness of Judd’s armpits. The Axis of Evil then had their most revolting moment yet as they feasted on Yahtzee’s honey and chocolate and joked about voting off the person who brought back the biggest fish.

Dear, sweet Rafe was the only one uncomfortable with the mocking and trash-talking of the Yahtzees as they worked. Fancy that, someone has some scruples at Nukem.

Oh, Rafe. I knew there was a reason I loved you. Though I hope you'll forgive me for laughing my ass off when you were attacked by the hornets.

Yahtzee for their part contemplated rowing back to their old camp grounds and leaving Nukem to wallow in their own self-satisfaction but decided against it because they are not idiots and realise the importance of at least making an effort to get along with their fellow contestants.

I know I’m still referring to them by their old tribal names when they’ve already merged but it’s blindingly obvious that at this point, it’s still more convenient to use those tribal names rather than calling them Nunchucks or Shecky or whatever the stupid name was that they called themselves. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to note that everyone is still basically playing a tribal game at this point. It doesn’t even take a monkey. That’s why even Jamie figured it out.

Jamie somehow managed to dig himself an even deeper eventual grave than Judd when the Immunity Challenge. It’s hard to imagine anyone making an even more boneheaded move than Judd did that one TC when Margaret was voted out, but by gum, Jamie managed it.

Jeff threw in a delicious twist (literally and figuratively) when he offered the contestants the option of sitting out the pot-balancing challenge and stuffing their faces with food instead. Not as good as those wonderful coconut-chopping type challenges that can show the hierarchy of the contestants if people aren’t careful, but it was different enough to fool the cocky Nukems into showing their hand. Except for Cindy and Judd, every single one of the Nukems chose to eat rather than compete.

As those people who chose to compete stood with pots in their heads, Jamie decided to shove his foot, along with chicken and beer, into his open mouth. The halfwit started taunting Yahtzee, BJ in particular, about how utterly screwed they were and how the Axis of Evil was going to vote them all out one by one with particular glee. BJ’s reply was basically “Well duh. You’re a tool for admitting that, by the way. And I hate you,” only in his distinctive way of speaking.

They started fighting with BJ being sorely tempted to go smash his pot over Jamie’s head. Please, BJ! Even if you lose immunity and are voted out, you’ll be a martyr to the cause. Sadly, the pot remained on BJ’s head and Jamie continued his arrogant taunting and showing off his position of power.

This is such a stupid thing Jamie did for a number of reasons:

a. As BJ later said, it’s just plain classless. It’s a sore winner thing to do, and as Jamie has shown time and time again, he’s a terribly sore winner.
b. He does realise that he still has to face these people in a jury if he makes the finale, right? So treating them like crap and laughing at their misery might not be the best way to go?
c. Fate sure does love it when some cocky little *bleep!* thinks he’s untouchable and rubs it in people’s faces. The Karmic Smackdown is Fate’s best event.

He doesn’t even have the excuse of drunkenness and potential ADD as an excuse. Judd’s giant rant at Margaret’s elimination was marginally less stupid because he was attacking one person who would have had no bearing on his fate when she was voted out. Jamie’s acting like an asshole to people who can make or break him in this game.

The rest of Nukem failed to shut Jamie up because they are idiots. Rafe excluded of course, because he did feel suitably embarrassed at his Cro-Magnon ally’s behaviour. Staring guiltily into his chicken wings, he tried to get his companions to act civilly to no avail.

Awww. He’s too sweet to be in Nukem. He’s too sensitive for this show in general. What’s he doing here? He’s going to get slaughtered.

Even though they kept silent over Jamie’s ouburst, Nukem did not fail to see what a brainless jerk Jamie was. Even Judd thought he had gone over the line, and it’s quite a feat to outjerk Judd. When approached by the Yahtzees, Steph and Judd said that Jamie needed to be voted out.

Lies, lies! I know lip service when I see it, and there was not a doubt in my mind that Steph and Judd were merely placating the Yahtzees by throwing around Jamie’s name. There was not a chance they were going to vote out their closest ally, no matter how much of a jackass he was acting like. Hell, Steph was probably salivating at a final three of the gorilla, the Neanderthal and her, and how good she would look in comparison to the other two.

But there was hope that a member of the Axis of Evil would vote against Jamie. Not Lydia because she’s Steph’s dancing monkey. But dear, sweet Rafe. And possibly Cindy as well.

Gary approached Rafe and pointed out that Jamie was the suckiest suck who ever sucked and didn’t deserve to make the jury. Rafe agreed and hope filled my mind that he would follow his heart and vote for Jamie.

(Funny, I generally think these “Who’s deserving? Follow your heart not your brain” arguments are naïve and have no place in the show at all, but I was perfectly willing to support the Yahtzees’ line of reasoning because I wanted to see Jamie go down so badly.)

Cindy also seemed half convinced that she’d be better off without Jamie. Two people switching and voting for Jamie would be enough! I started to get all excited that maybe Jamie’s putrid behaviour would net him a boot in the backside.

My hope that Jamie would get booted only increased when he made it obvious that Brandon was the next to go while Brandon was within earshot. Surely this lack of tact and strategy would be his downfall? No-one this clueless could survive any longer, right?

But it was a cruel tease. When TC came around, the Nukems all voted for Brandon, even Rafe. Why, Rafe, why?

Crap! Someone I really like gets voted off again? This is the fourth person in a row. And *bleep!* Jamie makes the jury. Bah.

As for Rafe, I think this was a mistake on a strategic level. This “following your heart” crap aside, he’s low on the totem pole of the Axis of Evil. The power core of the Axis is Steph/Judd/Jamie and he’d stand a better chance with the Yahtzees, especially since he was so close to Gary when they were on the same tribe eons ago.

Eeep, all this rambling and I haven’t even mentioned this new hidden immunity idol business. I think it’s a lovely idea with loads of game-changing potential, provided of course that the person who finds it does whip it out when they’re in danger and doesn’t get blindsided before they can use it. Imagine if someone who’s scheduled to get voted out suddenly announces they’re immune and the other contestants have to scramble to vote someone else without being able to discuss it. It’ll be great stuff.

Personally, I hope one of the Yahtzees find it and throw a spanner in the works of the evil Nukems. Nothing would make me happier than seeing one of the sitting ducks, Gary, Danni and BJ, outlasting superior suckers like Judd, Jamie and Steph.



Comments


Only TVSA members can reply to this thread. Click here to login or register.






LATEST ARTICLES

New on TV today: Friday 29 March 2024

There's music and lights in SuperCulture on Channel O and the film Wallflower airs on Fuse TV.


Game of Lies Teasers - April 2024

Series finale! The rescue attempt gets underway before a final reckoning.


Gqeberha: The Empire 2 Teasers - April 2024

The Mxenge Hotel turns into a whodunnit. A gunshot. Murder. In which room and by who?


The Wife 3 Teasers - April 2024

Naledi’s sex tape sees the spotlight again and catches her in the headlights.


Skerpioen Teasers - April 2024

A torched boat, poison in wine and youthful memories die when Ferda tries to kill Ahmet.


Imlie Teasers - April 2024

Imlie takes Ashu to the hospital when he falls ill, but kidnappers attempt to abduct him.


My Desire Teasers - April 2024

Kaashvi clears her name and reports Pradyumna's bribery attempt to the police.


New on TV today: Thursday 28 March 2024

Season 2 of Dam premieres on M-Net and Grey's Anatomy 20 drops on Disney+.


Hlomla Dandala confirmed to debut as Caesar on Smoke & Mirrors Season 2

The past collides with soon in the latest on Hlomla's whereabouts.


Smoke & Mirrors Teasers - April 2024

Season 1 finale and crossover alert! Caesar takes Thandiswa to the House of Zwide for her wedding dress.

LATEST SITE ACTIVITY


More activity at TVSA Central



LATEST SOAPIE TEASERS



LATEST SOAPIE TEASERS




Not Your Typical Bios:


Survivor Cook Islands

More Survivor Goodness:


×
×

You browser doesn't have Flash, Silverlight, Gears, BrowserPlus or HTML5 support.