Where Are All The Good Men? (17 May)

Mokema
17 May 2010 08:05

There is no such thing as Mr. Right.

baby e
17 May 2010 08:10

monna wa ipetlelwa but i am watching

TheLady
17 May 2010 08:17

Haa the elusive Mr Right

mathata
17 May 2010 09:07

we have good men in the planet But you find them lazy in bed......So called MR Right most of the time they are not mentally stable.........something is not right with them,but they are always warm hearted ppl.

once they find out that you are indepedent they run without telling you gore zi khiphang,thats why if you are a strong women is not easy to find Mr Right.

if you find him ....they preafer washing dishes than getting a Job....MR right

Or if you find him he will tell you i earn 12 000 i must give my mama 3000,church 1500,petrol 2000,music cd's 500,my younger sis 500,bursary 2000,lunch 1500,as a women you end up with some ????????

things always not 100% with human beings.

gardener he make sure yr yard is clean,nanny make sure your house is clean.........thats why ppl find themselves in d hands of those two creatures of Gods......that is MR right n Mrs right......is that the work of the devil or what???

i dont believe in MR right.i will take life the way it is.

TheLady
17 May 2010 09:11

"Or if you find him he will tell you i earn 12 000 i must give my mama 3000,church 1500,petrol 2000,music cd's 500,my younger sis 500,bursary 2000,lunch 1500,as a women you end up with some ????????"
Just R1000 qha...hayi kuwrong.hahaha

carino
17 May 2010 09:27

I need to check out the Motswako brief... and find out kahlekahle why the show was created...I really dont see why we need to be discussing mr wrong on a 30minute-long episode.... or am i just in a bad mood?

baby e
17 May 2010 09:29

thata Mathata LOL

carino
17 May 2010 09:29

if you find him ....they preafer washing dishes than getting a Job....MR right

I nearly agreed with you there thatas... then I thought.. but wouldnt that then make him wrong??

Maybe what needs to be discussed is. ... What makes a Mr Right??

cleve
17 May 2010 09:34

I have found my Mr Right, I pray to God he stays that way. There are good men out there and sometimes we just too blind to see it.

carino
17 May 2010 09:39

True, cleve...

TheLady
17 May 2010 09:44

Congrats Cleve. I hope I can say that soon.

If they are not providing answers bayeke!

mathata
17 May 2010 09:48

i have Mr Right........so called,is that my MR right on my eyes? NO,is just that i dont want to taste/try God mercy.

siyoko1979
17 May 2010 10:04

We do have good man around just that eventually they changed from good to bad. because of desparetely (woman)for getting married of which they can see that ,they start to see themselves as something precious. They start to cheat,control freak and we give up our individuals and happiness just to please them. We let the man destroy us.

In order for a man to became a Mr right we must set up straight with them, appreciate and love ourselves and never accept *bleep!* from man. If all woman can be like that i'm telling you we can create man to be Mr Right

realist
17 May 2010 10:13

There is no such a thing as Mr right or Ms/Mrs Right, period.

thatohatsi
17 May 2010 10:21

I have a gud man after a long time searching u must just have a heart, unfortunately my friend just lost a gud man I`m so sorry for her cause se thinks she`s in demand. gals there`s gud man somewhere in this world but we mess around sometimes.

mstick
17 May 2010 10:36

loling all the way to Mathata's comment.....

So called MR Right most of the time they are not mentally stable.........something is not right with them,but they are always warm hearted ppl.

True on this one i had a Mr Right before and poor thing wasnt fine mentally he was slow shame....mara he was good in bed always there to listen ...cooked for me....massaged me when i ws tense but i couldnt stand the shortage in the mind....he was really slow in the head i found myself teaching him stuff like a baby at first it didnt bother me cause i loved him so i hoped i was gonna help him but as time went by i saw he had a chronic disease that could not be changed...and i had to make a decision based on the kind of future husband i wanted.....he didnt feature in my future life i had to let him go...it did break my heart but i had to do it

poshspice
17 May 2010 10:57

@realist then what do you call a woman you choose to spend the rest of your life with, she is a good mother to your kids, beautiful and a good wife according to your standard..
or a girlfriend that you've dated for years and happy together?

Green.arrow
17 May 2010 10:58

he had a chronic disease that could not be changed..hai mstick..lol..wena le mathata le a mpolaya straight.....mentally unstable julle se?...lol...

baby e says...monna wa ipetlelwa???....hi hi hiii.....im almost inclined to agree with you but no......you can never change a person, alot of old people will tell you that.

Perhaps we should define waht a good man is?

My thoughts:
A saying goes...the only perfect/good person is one who knows that they arent perfect/good...and so each day they strive to be good. It takes a lot for a person to come to this mpoint and this are people i trust. I for one have seen such people/men, who are decent today and even more decent tomorrow.

Im also curious how motswako will edify people/women with this subject.

TheLady
17 May 2010 11:00

Lmao@ mstick!

cleve
17 May 2010 11:03

Shame mstick that is so sad. What about the mentally stable one? He probably will give you hell.

gals there`s gud man somewhere in this world but we mess around sometimes.

SO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!

carino
17 May 2010 11:11

I still dont get why a show that claims to be empowering women would choose to discuss such a confused question.

carino
17 May 2010 11:13

And i still dont think there can ever be a perfect man just standing tehre waiting for who to be perfect to. It might have happened to Snow White, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, but I doubt there is such here in South Africa.

purhase
17 May 2010 11:14

In prison

Sslave
17 May 2010 11:25

carino please add Sslave on that list ya bo Cinderella.. lol

On o serious note, I strongly believe that there's is a perfect man for each and every 1 of us. So if you find yourself with Mr wrong, you should know that he's wrong for you and right for someone out there.. I'm a believer and I believe that women are made from a rib of that specific man. It is sad that many do not get the chance to meet and know that perfect person who they are meant to be with.

It's a blessing to know that you have a man who thinks o kgopo ya dikgopo tsa gagwe and you believe that..

mstick
17 May 2010 11:26

What about the mentally stable one? He probably will give you hell.

eish Cleve you know i've learnt that no one is perfect whether we like it or not what matters the most is do you love the one you with.....he can be stable but do you love him, he can be unstable but do you love him? you know what mean? I'm happy with my current man cause i still love him his mentally stable but his not the man i use to have...he doesnt cook, nor clean and i dont get 2 be massaged but i love him and thats the most important thing....i'm able to ovelook some of the things cause i can live with them and that is love not trying to change someone to fit in your life....with my unstable ex i wanted to change him and thats were i went wrong if i was able to ovelook his shortage and leave with it we'll probably still be dating but i couldnt

mstick
17 May 2010 11:28

we'll = will

carino
17 May 2010 11:30

ncoooooh.. sslave... sweet..

Mokema
17 May 2010 11:32

I don't want to join in , but if you were talking bout an animal eg. a donkey or a pig i would. and i still stand by my first reply.

There is no such thing as Mr. Right.period

GML
17 May 2010 11:34

In the beginning of all relationships we tend to overlook the imperfections or all the little annoyances or bad traits in our partners because we're still in love. As soon as the oorklappies come off we are left with all those things we chose to overlook.

Most people end their relationship as soon as they realise that this man/woman has both bad and good traits. The good traits were those we focused on in the beginning. Mind you- we had time to process those good traits.

Once we're left with the bad traits we suddenly become too impatient to work through them and we end our relationships.

Take the good and the bad and if the good overcomes the bad then why not learn to live with the bad? By bad I'm not talking about a stealing, lying man, but all those things that annoy the *bleep!* out of us?

goldii
17 May 2010 11:37

but I doubt there is such here in South Africa.

True.

This is not hating on the opposite sex, but a MAJORITY of Sa men seem to be wired differently. Children all over the place , not even supporting them, selective nit picking of responsibilities. I could go on and on

Mr Right is a figment of ones imagination IMO

carino
17 May 2010 11:37

It would be interesting to hear where men think the good women are at.

Diamondtoo
17 May 2010 11:39

My take is, there is no such Mr Right, it depends on individuals and what they perceive as such. I have my own Mr Right. And I believe that I had to mould hiim and teach him some of the things I want to make him my Mr Right.

maud
17 May 2010 11:42

hi everyone

interesting topic, there way i am so angry with my husband, i have even forgot that i love him and there are Good things about him, if you can give me a divorce paper know i will sign it without a blink.

but hey its life , but yes i still think there are good man out there , good in their own way but mina for today this topic is not for me,

myname
17 May 2010 11:47

If ndifike egcoka ama red/yellow socks ndiyamyekela coz thats what he likes as long Myname is still happy & uphethwe kahle.

myname
17 May 2010 11:50

And I believe that I had to mould hiim and teach him some of the things I want to make him my Mr Right.

Its so painful ke sana after moulding umntu abone ukuthi he is better then ubone e changa.........Thats what i hate. No wonder i luv izikobo.

thatohatsi
17 May 2010 12:03

sorry @myname I hate izikobo they don`t do it 4 me his is the 1 ozo mfaka kwi fashion then he thinks he is better than u.I do handsome tall man.

maddie
17 May 2010 12:13

@GML - u make very interesting points.

when i get into relationship with someone i don't want that person to change the essence of who he is.

i prefer to take umuntu flaws and all and if i feel i cannot do that then i know he's not for me.

good men - this will depend on your own definition of what constitute a good man.

my experience - found a good man, my type- very loving, considerate, flower type, cooks, calls me, loving, the only downside bathong and am saying this ka pelo e botlhoko ke sex. hai shame we've tried, monna ona cannot last longer and he prefers quickies, am left unsatisfied all the time.

i love him and want us to work because in my books he's a good man, we've talked about it and tried so many times but go a pala

Mokema
17 May 2010 12:17

Started going out with him in July last year and January this year he paid lobola, but as for the signing i am still thinking.

Sslave
17 May 2010 12:21

Oh maddie maddie maddie!!!

*on the phone calling tvsa therapists*

Help is on the way sisi

KeleFabulous
17 May 2010 12:23

there is no such thing as a Mr Right as my Mr Right may not necessarily be your Mr Right.
my best friend has been seeing the 'perfect' guy for over a year now. he treats her like a queen and acts like a real man should. he's recently proposed and she's accepted and soon there'll be lobola negotiations. she will be wife nr 2 - yes, isithembu. as good a man can be i refuse to get married ka sethepu. yena she's over the moon...

as mentioned before, your Mr Right might not be MY Mr Right so really us women need to stop with such debates as we are all different and htat is how God made us

myname
17 May 2010 12:24

Thato, The only thing i still check is the body. I luv giant men bt ur face doesnt bother me at all.

I used to date those cutey pies bt now nhaaaaa they dont exist in my diary.

my experience - found a good man, my type- very loving, considerate, flower type, cooks, calls me, loving,
Maddie he died or he's just like msticks' man. The one left is only gonna impress u for the first few weeks & months but after 3months u get the call on Saturday when its free on MTN. When he calls he says"Hi baby, whats up?" (before u even tell him), "I was just checking up on u and i still luv u, take care nhe."

GML
17 May 2010 12:28

The trick (in my opinion) as far as relationships are concerned is to do everything together. From the very beginning.

Be best friends. Afterall we all have have close friends who sometimes annoy the *bleep!* out of us but we still keep them. Same should apply for our relationships. We must be best friends and not be quick to dump when we encounter something that annoys us.

I absolutely found Mr Right. He helps out with everything. The thing about men is that they are not mind readers and wont know that you need help if you dont ask him.

Baby please wash the dishes while I do the ironing or do you prefer to iron while i wash the dishes. Ask nicely and he will do it for you and simply say thank you afterwards.

Mr Right is who/what you make of him

cleve
17 May 2010 12:39

she will be wife nr 2 - yes, isithembu. as good a man can be i refuse to get married ka sethepu. yena she's over the moon...

kwa kwa kwa kwa, I can't believe women still do this yazi. The desperation of women and getting married.

Kele obviously my mR right will definitely not be your MR right.

myname
17 May 2010 12:40

Baby please wash the dishes while I do the ironing or do you prefer to iron while i wash the dishes. Ask nicely and he will do it for you and simply say thank you afterwards.

I used to do that GML bt someone snatched that man from me mfiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmm. One thing about me i give up easily when it comes to love. I hate competition.

carino
17 May 2010 12:50

"Hi baby, whats up?" (before u even tell him), "I was just checking up on u and i still luv u, take care nhe."

kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa

mstick
17 May 2010 13:04

One thing about me i give up easily when it comes to love. I hate competition.

Same here myname

Love ur advices GML....your hubby is really blessed to have you as a wife

Savanah Dry
17 May 2010 13:04

@ GML , There are guys who do that dated one for 9 years when it comes to doing the right thing paying lobola jumped around till i dumped him... he was perfect in every way so wasnt Mr right for me i guess!!!!

There is no Mr Right ..there was this guy who worshipped his wife and was the perfect gentleman i prayed that if i ever got married i would want a husband like that.

Anyway at a company function one day i was sitting next to him and he put his hand under the table and touched my legs told me he had always wanted to do that !!! Mxxiiiim took away all my hopes for finding Mr Right coz they will always want something outside the marriage .....

TheLady
17 May 2010 13:09

"monna ona cannot last longer and he prefers quickies, " my friend let go of the nicest man coz he just didn't come! If he did it'll be after an hour of straight up intercourse...imagine how dry and uncomfortable you would be by then.

carino
17 May 2010 13:28

Shem, I’m totally grateful to God that my Mr Right is still right even after all these years... I agree that sometimes we miss out on great relationships because we set lines between friendships and what we call a “relationship”. There is nothing as awesome as having your best friend as a partner...

True that in a friendship you don’t just call it quits because your friend doesn’t wanna go shopping with you... and you label her Miss Wrong Friend.... you might not speak to her for a few days and she wont even have to buy you chocolate or have make-up sex for you to be friends again. Your friendship just survives those episodes.

So nna I say if we can just decide to destroy all those rigid lines that are built around what a relationship is supposed to be about... we’ll realise that even the Mr Terrible that one would’ve been overlooking all the years is actually the one right for you.

And my question still remains. Who sets the standards on what right is? Is it society?? If it is, mina I’m a firm believer in having my own opinion and not doing things according to tradition. Society will tell you he right guy is the one that will agree to help you with the dishes and you go around dumping every guy that says ‘thank you for the food’ and puts the plate besides the couch and continue to cheer for Barcelona.

So I would say, maybe you love doing the dishes... so what if your man doesn’t like helping you? You love it, mos... and he doesn’t need to help you. But naah... wena already you mark with a red pen... because society says he HAS to do the dishes.

I hope I’m making sense.

realist
17 May 2010 13:35

@realist then what do you call a woman you choose to spend the rest of your life with, she is a good mother to your kids, beautiful and a good wife according to your standard..
I call her my wife and it does equate to being Mrs Right. It means so far we are both satisfied with our needs and we have something in common than otherwise.

Remember we both agreed that there is no such a thing called true love. If you agree on that how can you suddenly say there is such a thing called Mr/Ms/Mrs right? How can you. This is the same as saying there is such a thing called true love.

Please explain in your terms how Mr/Ms/Mrs right should be.

mstick
17 May 2010 13:36

You making perfect sense Cariri.......perfect sense

maud
17 May 2010 13:44

i wouldnt mind having the one who helped with dishes but my problem will be one, i like my position of being the wife, he can stick to watching the soccer , the kitchen is all mine

poshspice
17 May 2010 13:45

@GML The trick (in my opinion) as far as relationships are concerned is to do everything together. From the very beginning.

Be best friends. Afterall we all have have close friends who sometimes annoy the *bleep!* out of us but we still keep them. Same should apply for our relationships. We must be best friends and not be quick to dump when we encounter something that annoys us.

Very true...the problem is - there are very few men like this, it is hard to find them in our society. that's why most women even those who looked down upon women who dated foreigners back then are now married to "nigerians-Americans" brothers because regardless of what is said about them, family/girlfriends come first, the majority of them really know how to treat women, not that they don't cheat but they are clear about their role and what is important...

realist
17 May 2010 13:46

Correction, it does not equate to

realist
17 May 2010 13:51

Based on the replies so far, is there such a thing called unconditional LOVE? Everyone who replied to this article has got a condition of what Mr right should be. Talk about unconditional love, no such thing period.

GML
17 May 2010 13:59

@Poshspice:

By asking him to help you does not give you as a woman the platform to diss his way of doing things. Afterall, when you ask someone to do something for you they will do it the way they know how- not necessarily the way you want it to be done.

So if he washes the dishes and he doesnt wipe the sink down or he doesnt wash the pots but washed the dishes only- thank him for washing the dishes. At least he halved your work load...

If you ask him to peel the potatoes and he prefers to use a knife instead of a potato peeler, you dont say "why dont you use the peeler it's faster?" You let him do it his own way.

Men end up not wanting to help in the home because women want to control everything (who, when and why).

And him helping you out should not be a drag it should be fun.

My hubby will ask me what we're having for supper today and I will let him choose- then I will say how do you want your chicken? He will tell me how he wants it and he will offer to help me out because I'm preparing a meal that he wants.

Woman have the power to control men- it's how you use that power that makes the difference

myname
17 May 2010 14:00

puts the plate besides the couch and continue to cheer for Barcelona.

LOL Carino now i remember dating some guy 2yrs ago. I think he's the one who made me stop all that cleaning and cooking for my man thing. He abused me. He was never interested in anything.

I used to pick up everything (from socks, pants, shoes, t-shirts, underwear) including the condom we used hehehehe.

On Sundays we used 2 wake up at 10 & buy newspapers (The times & sunday world). When we got to the house he'll say "baby whats for breakfast"?. I would do everything & wash the dishes & he'll b busy reading & changing the positions bcoz ukhathele kukuhlala engenzinto hehehehehe.

After this guy i made a promise 2 my self that i'll never do that s*** again. Otherwise i can wake up & go home & have my breakfast alone in peace.

poshspice
17 May 2010 14:00

My understanding is that Your Mr Right can't be another person's Mr right because we are different. there is no one size fit all description.

In life and relationships you create your own standards based on your needs or what makes you happy...

lady gaga
17 May 2010 14:05

how i miss u guys, i see u still got it...........lol!!

lady gaga
17 May 2010 14:06

how i miss u guys, i see u still got it.....lol!!!

realist
17 May 2010 14:08

@makisto
At the end of it all, if you decide to marry her it will be on your terms and not hers. After all it is you who is marrying her and not the other way around. That is how I’ve done it, on my terms.

Lus
17 May 2010 14:09

Very true...the problem is - there are very few men like this, it is hard to find them in our society. that's why most women even those who looked down upon women who dated foreigners back then are now married to "nigerians-Americans" brothers because regardless of what is said about them, family/girlfriends come first, the majority of them really know how to treat women, not that they don't cheat but they are clear about their role and what is important... tjo the only thing i dont understand from these man you referring here is the fact that they are too controlling and beat woman like punchbags, majority that is.

The are good man out there if only woman can stop having high expectations and start living real life.

GML
17 May 2010 14:10

@SavanahD:

A guy who will be in a relationship with you for 9 years is a guy (in my opinion) who takes advantage of you and the arrangement you have in place. Unless he is financially in a position to marry you.

I always say if you make you intentions known right from the start then any man will know that you are not a playing field or a room to rent. Especially if you're at an age where marraige is something you're considering. If it is then you let him know that I dont just do relationships for the sake of dating. I dont want to waste 3 or 4 years of my life on something that You(man) are not serious on.

But at the same time- some men just take chances but I'm pretty sure being firm will make him think twice about playing games...

@carino: you're making sense. I think that no person can dictate how your relationship should be except the two people in the relationship. Society can try but it's you and him in bed at night- it's you and him when you have bills to pay month end. You dictate how you want your relationship too be

@Maud: I like what you said. No matter how much we try to implement this 50/50 thing in our relationships. Certain things will always be done by women and certain things will always be done by men. Teh sooner we realise that the sooner we will be happy with our roles as women and the sooner we will be happy with our relationships.

The rewards I get are simply unbelievable just because I changed how/what my perception of a good man is

realist
17 May 2010 14:21

GML
I got married after going out with her for 8 years. So not all men take advantage of playing women for the fun of it. Sometimes there are several reasons why men don’t want to commit.

Pajero
17 May 2010 14:23

A man is a spiritual leader, a provider, protector etc and amongst everything a head of the home. A man needs to be loved and be cared for like a baby and most importantly they need respect. Man is a very jealous creature and to man, women are their possessions. But bcoz we live in the 21st century women tend to think they are being controlled. Respect a man and in return you will be definately be loved. The question now is how do you know that the one you are with is the right one? Then that answer will be answered only by you. Don't let the society and media influence your judgement. People tend to be in a long relationship without commitment and once they are dumped they tend to think they have lost their soul mates. It is painful to see your ex moving on with his/her life infront of you. But u should sit down and think where everything have gone wrong maybe you will find out the relationship was dead long ago but its such that you both never wanted to let go because u were both too scared of starting a new relationship. Is there a perfect man out there and a perfect woman? I wonder! I agree with those who say your partner should be your best friend.

realist
17 May 2010 14:24

Makisto
Though she is independent, I want her to still respect me, still understand me, still love me, still respect my family and love them, still have respect in her and not tell me that she's independent.

Aren't these your terms? Just asking.

cleve
17 May 2010 14:24

My understanding is that Your Mr Right can't be another person's Mr right because we are different. there is no one size fit all description.

100 % true!!!!!!!!!

GML
17 May 2010 14:26

I agree realist.

that's why I said if you make your intentions know right from the beginning once can establish whether the relationship has some future or not. This applies to both parties.

carino
17 May 2010 14:37

The are good man out there if only woman can stop having high expectations and start living real life.

And teh thing with 'real' is that it is also relative.... what is real to be might not be real to makisto.

cleve
17 May 2010 14:41

makisto I love you. marraige is about 2 people and the terms should suit both of you otherwise you are going to have a very unhappy life together. *Ive been there*

siyoko1979
17 May 2010 14:48

I think good guys can be found from the God's house. A man who know God and afraid of him, worship Him, is the one who will treat you good. He will take care of u like isitya esi ethe ethe........

Seek the man Gods

maud
17 May 2010 14:54

@siyoko1979- i wish i can agree with you but no, talking from experience you end up asking him how do you pray mara ukhohlakele kanje.

hazey
17 May 2010 15:00

Mokema
17 May 2010 15:01

@ carino: Who sets the standards on what right is? Is it society?? If it is, mina I’m a firm believer in having my own opinion and not doing things according to tradition. Society will tell you he right guy is the one that will agree to help you with the dishes and you go around dumping every guy that says ‘thank you for the food’

Well said carino. I've just divorced my man simply because of what people were telling me. He was Mr Right to me in all ways possible. Friends started tell me to demand this an that and told me that as a wife i should get anything that i want from him.

I pushed him pushed him over the ocean and now he's gone and is all my wrong doings. there ar Good man out and most of them are driven away by US, WOMEN.

We must just learn to appreaciate what we have. If ur man is coming home everyday, eat dinner with u, talk to u before going to bed, tells u that he loves u, hold u at night and calls u once during the day....appreciate that cos ur one of the luckiest.

we always turn to undermine what this "wrong men" are trying to do for us. simply because my friends "Mr RIght" is doing this an that for her.

Writen by;
Mokema's Friend

realist
17 May 2010 15:01

If I do marry her, I think it will be in both our terms, we will have to talk about what we want from that marriage and be realistic about it.
That is after the fact. You agree because she has met your expectations. A woman cannot decide that she wants to be married; it is a man that decides when to get married.

This of saying together we will decide is pie in the sky. You decide to marry her because she has met your expectations and nothing else. If a woman does not want to be married you will definitely notice it and decide whether it is worth your time to continue with the relationship.

We will have to talk about our two families, hers and mine and how things will be done before we tie the knot.
That is after the fact.

In that way, we will have a clear idea of what she expects from me and what I expect from her.
You still not sure of your expectation from her and vice versa? So what you what you are saying from this statement is that you are still trying to know her?

carino
17 May 2010 15:04

A man needs to be loved and be cared for like a baby and most importantly they need respect.

heheheh... interesting

zozoe
17 May 2010 15:04

i will print and read it with my friends and i love very replies,

Lus
17 May 2010 15:05

Carino - real is relative of course...

But the real life i am referring to is the fact that we meet men and we start fantasising about them and dreaming about our wedding days as soon as we get the response we want in the first days of the relationship ( the is nothing wrong with that ) the problem starts when we forget that they 'CAN' end up not be the guys in our fantasies. Once the detoriation stage starts (honeymoon - over- stage) we cry foul and play victims. Woman fantasise a lot and that's good but the problem most man know about this and they feed us want we want to hear and get want they want after that they run like chased thiefs.

Ladies let's be real lets live life with caution and take control of our lives in relationships, dont forget who you are and what you stand for and never ever settle for less!!!!

i still say YES the are good man out there dont rush take your time, even if the one you have end up bad, keep it as a refernce and choose wisely.

DONT GET IN A REALTIONSHIP BECAUSE OF HIS CARS, HOUSE, JOB , WHT HE WEARS.ETC....LOL.

thatohatsi
17 May 2010 15:09

@siyoko1979- I`m with Maud been there done that got a T-shirt gave it away & I`m not gonna go back, I`m happy with my Ayanda whom I didn`t get at God`s house, everything he does suits me as his wife, the man 4rm God`s house lied cheated & stole 4rm me so I won`t take that chance again.

poshspice
17 May 2010 15:10

@siyoko1979

Good guys can be found anywhere...

personally I've had bad experience with christians I know or used to be very close to, a lot. .. I acknowledge that some people do meet good men and women of God and are happy

GML
17 May 2010 15:12

A man needs to be loved and be cared for like a baby and most importantly they need respect.

I disagree. No man wants to be treated like a baby. It totally undermines them and it knocks down their masculinity. When a man is sick yes, they behave like babies but everyday.

If a man feels needed, like he has an important role to play in the relationship except for making you climax or carrying heavy things for you. He is a provider and wants to provide something valuable and itf we give men the sense that I really dont need a man in my life then no man will stay in your life unless he too doesn't really need a woman in his life but a shagging partner.

carino
17 May 2010 15:12

I will say this agian before I move over to the Class Act blog.

I am totally grateful that my Mr Right is right... and that I am his Miss Right too. I think it's true that proper men are rare to find, so some of us are thankful to have one whom, even though he wouldn't in fact help you cook a meal from A-Z, he'll still opt to peel the butternut coz he thinks you'll hurt yourself.

Whom even though he would refuse to take a shower at night and say he bathed in the morning... will still jump out of bed at night and bring you water when he hears you murmur something about you not feeling well... and when you actually become clearer and say .. "i said i want ice-cream" he'll still laugh at himself the way he jumped and bring the ice-cream.

So, shem.. thank you Lord...

myname
17 May 2010 15:13

I think i still gonna enjoy my singlehood after reading all these replies.

U scary me guys hey. All these expectations as if ndine battery.

A man needs to be loved and be cared for like a baby and most importantly they need respect.

heheheh... interesting.....I feel u girl. I can just imagine a baby. They r so demanding u know!!!!!!!!

cleve
17 May 2010 15:14

Sorry about that Mokema's friend. I hope next time you find someone like that you cherish him and let him know that you do.

So how did the whole divorce thing happened?

realist
17 May 2010 15:18

if you get a man at a shebeen, what kind of a family will you guys have? He will not listen to you. He will probably be drunk and sleepy when you want action before sleeping.
What is wrong with that? I do go to the shebeen on weekends and my family is perfectly normal. Don't make it a crime to go to the shebeen please.

poshspice
17 May 2010 15:19

Akhohlakele amanye amadoda akholwayo jeeerrr ...because they mix god and sin the results from that becomes pure evil....

realist
17 May 2010 15:24

GML
You make valid points there. Like I said you are one of a kind.

myname
17 May 2010 15:27

Akhohlakele amanye amadoda akholwayo jeeerrr ...because they mix god and sin the results from that becomes pure evil.... Gaaaad dont start with those ones. Most of them ba wrongo sana. I stopped checking from church i rather meet him e clubini.

maud
17 May 2010 15:33

all men a evil, they just differ in degreas , some are better than others some are worse than others, there is no perfect man i also doubt if there is a perfect woman.
drinking or not drinking - ziyafana lezinto

cleve
17 May 2010 15:38

What is wrong with that? I do go to the shebeen on weekends and my family is perfectly normal.

cheating on your wife is not normal realist.

carino
17 May 2010 15:40

@realist...What is wrong with that? I do go to the shebeen on weekends and my family is perfectly normal.

@cleve...cheating on your wife is not normal realist.

Do people cheat at the shebeen, na??

realist
17 May 2010 15:43

cheating on your wife is not normal realist.
I know. Do you think I go to the shebeen to cheat? Please give me a break. If I cheat I cheat with somebody who does not drink. The stuff women drinks is expensive and I cannot afford it.

blaqueboi
17 May 2010 15:45

Ok, I have been reading comments on this and had to force myself not to respond. I have my own issues with relationships so that might cloud my judgement on the matter. However having read all these comment, one thing is bothering me. No matter how profound some of these comments are they still are rooted in "societal cliche's".

Why should people assume roles in relationships? As human beings we are prone to being slaves to the "hero/victim" syndrome. It's sad that some people need to be worshiped for them to feel worthy. It's sad that for certain people one has to conform to a particular stereotype for him or her to be deem worthy of being a good husband or wife. So now people's characters are being scrutinized based on the fact that they frequent certain places. If you are a dead beat drunkard loser it doesnt matter whether you drink your alcohol in Sandton or in some shebeen in a squatter camp you will still be that.

Mr Right (if there is such a thing) should be Mr right for you because you are compatible in your own terms not what other people see. We all have unique qualities. If you base your life on societal expectations and silly stereotypical traits you will be alone for the rest of your life. Damn I might be the best man for you and you might miss that because you expecting me to open doors for you and bring you flowers every night.

maud
17 May 2010 15:47

@makisto - i am married to a very wealthy man and a good man but like i said some days are not the same, he makes you angry you even forget that there is a good part of him.then the next day he the best you can ask for, there are always up and downs in marriage ,

and in paying the bills love even if he was a have not it ws not going to be a problem am working and i have been affording myself for years before he comes to the picture. its just that he is jealous and it piss me off sometimes.

carino
17 May 2010 15:48

A man needs to be loved and be cared for like a baby and most importantly they need respect.
heheheh... interesting.....I feel u girl. I can just imagine a baby. They r so demanding u know!!!!!!!!

A baby????? you know if you said a puppy I would get you... Coz you know.. you do it with caution that there is a possibility of it becoming a vicious dog. But hayi bantu.. a baby....? khona is it not disrespectful to deal with your husband like you are dealing with an 8 months old??

cleve
17 May 2010 15:48

maud you are really mad ne? Xola sesi, hubby still loves you.

Molilo
17 May 2010 15:49

I agree with those who said a good man is the one you are happy with.
He must do the things you love and are comfortable with.
Above all you are able to overlook his short falls.
Ladies stop comparing ur man, my man likes his booze, yes he is a shebeen man (Makisto, LOL).
I love him the way he is, I knew from the onset he is like that and from that moment I accepted him.
My one friend was never happy with my man's drinking ways.
I never entertained her coz it is me who is going out with that man not her.
Now her man of 8 years, after she told him she is preggies abandoned her.
I know for a fact my drunkard man will never abandon me if I tell him I am preggies tomoro.
Not only that but there are a lot of things that he does right and I love him for that.

GML
17 May 2010 15:49

@Realist

Thank you. The advice my mom used to annoy me with when I was younger actually does work at times. She used to tell us (sisters and me) that we will remember her when we're constipated sitting on the toilet. That hasnt happened but we do remember her words when we need to

carino
17 May 2010 15:50

Mr Right (if there is such a thing) should be Mr right for you because you are compatible in your own terms not what other people see. We all have unique qualities. If you base your life on societal expectations and silly stereotypical traits you will be alone for the rest of your life. Damn I might be the best man for you and you might miss that because you expecting me to open doors for you and bring you flowers every night.

Ditto!!! Ditto!!!! Ditto!!!!!

Cant believe you've just re-written so articulately what I was trying to say above there....

Green.arrow
17 May 2010 15:52

I have a feeling im gonna enjoy reading the discussion here....as soon as i get home and make good coffee.

GML
17 May 2010 15:57

Why should people assume roles in relationships?

@Blaq
Roles in relationships help to maintain order and prevents the "you said you will do it" or "you said you will take care of it. Liek it or not, the moment a a woman gives birth to a child she immediately becomes the nourisher. It's her job to ensure that the baby is fed and clean to avoid germs.

She has already assumed her God given role that a man cannot do (breastfeed). No matter how much we want to argue this point it's a woman who makes sure the kids are fed, that they have proper fitting school uniforms, that they have clean clothes. Not because men cant do it but because it's a generic thing.

Give a woman potatoes and tomatoes she will make you the best potato/tomato gravy you have ever had. a man will not think of doing that- instead he would rather cough up R50 for a pizza. Roles are there and they are not determined by society but are roles given to us by GOD.

realist
17 May 2010 15:59

its just that he is jealous and it piss me off sometimes.
Thats Mr right right there.

cleve
17 May 2010 16:02

The stuff women drinks is expensive and I cannot afford it.

kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa realist TJO I couldn't help but laugh at this.

I'm glad/happy you know

Do people cheat at the shebeen, na??
@ Carino, no man I did not mean it like that. I was just talking about the normal part. Nothing to with shebeens.

It's sad that for certain people one has to conform to a particular stereotype for him or her to be deem worthy of being a good husband or wife.
SO SAD!!!!!!

maud
17 May 2010 16:03

a good man is the one who respects you and your feelings , who loves you, support you when you need suport , rejoice with you when you are happy comfort you when you need comfort, the rest is just asking too much.

carino
17 May 2010 16:05

lol @ maud setting the standard

carino
17 May 2010 16:05

GML is right on the roles bit

poshspice
17 May 2010 16:07

I hope PENNY and her guests are reading this blog because you've all assited them in preparing for the show tonite...

maud
17 May 2010 16:09

do you think so poshspice, we are the best in handling serious issues thina la kwa TVSA lol

blaqueboi
17 May 2010 16:13

Roles are there and they are not determined by society but are roles given to us by GOD.

ok ok ok, I can buy the whole maternal stuff that there are just inheritily there. I will give you that BUT the roles we assume in life are learnt behaviour. You learn that "boys shouldnt cry" you learn that "a man is supposed to be the provider". I dont believe that GOD made this roles for humans. We as a society make this roles to define what is acceptable and what's not.

Truth be told, every society needs that for there to be balance. Yes I fully concur on that. The only problem I have with these learnt "traits" is that they limit our view of the world in stereotypical way. You not man enough if you dont talk in a certain way or behave in a certain manner!! That is silly . And it's roles like this that perpetuate bigotry and prejudice because people who refuse to let society evolve with time use these stereotype to justify their vile behaviour towards other human beings.

myname
17 May 2010 16:14

I am my Ms Right full stop

its just that he is jealous and it piss me off sometimes.
Thats Mr right right there.
LOL.

mstick
17 May 2010 16:14

Let me suggest a book for all the ladies here on this blog if you havent read it...."Why man love bitches" by Sheery Argov the book is brilliant its helping me so far....you dont have to take everything the book says take what will work for you

One and Only
17 May 2010 16:20

I think Mr/Mrs Right's the wrong terminology, it should be rephrased to Marriage Material Woman/Man.

I'm one guy who does everything that women say Mr Right would do but the reason why I'm still a bachelor is because I'm just not a marriage material but a fling.

Being married to someone doesn't mean that you are Mr/Mrs Right for that particular individual. Nor does it mean that you are most beatiful/handsome or intelligent than his/her other partners.

maud
17 May 2010 16:21

@mstick -I have read the book, i cant say its 100% correct, but i must admit most of the things are hitting straight home. i f you will follow that book it might lead you straight to hell.

ntoko
17 May 2010 16:25

Wow!!! wat a topic well i also agree there is no such the so called Mr Right u know what went wrong??? 50/50 thing, in the past men were providers while women used to do the house choas and look after the kids ,in our generation most women are eduacated enough to stand up on their own and raise the kids without assistant bazimele therefore men are not willing to spend instead they want us to spend on them so abafazi nje basile period ubani ofuna indoda ezodla imali yakhe noways that's why ladies we prefer to be solo. The truth is the whole issue had to do with financial situations otherwise we won't find a solution kulengxaki , uzomtholas uMr Right xa unemali eningi and u willing ukuthi yena abe umoney spender hahahahahahaha

maud
17 May 2010 16:27

One and Only -trust me we know that, but whats nice he has a choice but chose you for what ever reason, so i think that shoud count in you being one of the best.
no man will pay lot off money for just the fun of it. marriage is a very serious issue
reason why there is lot of divorces , is that we people just take it simple and forget about the vows.

mstick
17 May 2010 16:30

Gotta read more of the replies tommorow this was very interesting

poshspice
17 May 2010 16:30

I totally agree about roles in the marriage, it is important to know your strenghts and your partner's strenghts and assume leading roles in those aspects of your relationship.

Roles are there and they are not determined by society but are roles given to us by GOD.

am not sure about this one! there are men who perfom what is considered women's God given roles better than their partners and visa vesa.

instead of 'imposing' God given roles, I'd say it is important to understand that sometimes your other half might be weak in that aspect and be willing to meet him/her halfway.
e.g.
you love your wife and love good food but she is a bad cook, even lazy to cook, but you are happy with everything about her, the only problem is cooking, according to societal standards and god given roles this is a woman's role, then what happens?

maud
17 May 2010 16:35

lucky is the woman who has a husband who helps with house chores, mina owami you must cook, you can have all the helpers you want to clean do the ironing but cooking he will eat only your food, if you say you are tired thats when you will have take aways for supper, and that i do often as nami ngiyakhathala sometimes,

blaqueboi
17 May 2010 16:36

lol, ok I know I am not really that religious but when & when did GOD say woman should cook? :)

"God given roles" I know I havent been to church or read the bible in a while but did I miss something in Sunday school? Did GOD say boys should wear blue and girls pink?

blaqueboi
17 May 2010 16:36

...when and where... *

mstick
17 May 2010 16:37

@mstick -I have read the book, i cant say its 100% correct, but i must admit most of the things are hitting straight home. i f you will follow that book it might lead you straight to hell.

Thats why i say you dont have to take everything they say......i'm really sorry that doing some of the things on the book is now breaking your marriage.....but i still say its a good book dont take everything take what applies....like not treating your man like a baby coz no man wants to be treated as such, dont ask a man to do one thing more 3 times coz dey hate that.....do nag a man....even if your man is rich dont loose your worth as a woman still keep your pay check to help with atleast one bill in the house...those types of tips i liked those and they were more

GML
17 May 2010 16:49

@Blaq:

We wont fully agree on the issue of God given roles. The important thing though is that we agree that women (no matter what) will always do certain things. Other small things are just that smaller things that Society, in order to survive or in order to maintain some form of stability, came up with.

Like the issue of boys crying. I would hate for everyone to cry at the same time it would be chaotic. I hope I'm making sense. Society needed something to differentiate between the 2roles/sexes for whatever purpose it served back then.

No one said women should cook. In the Zulu culture there is certain meat that the men cook and only they can/should cook it. But because God gave us that nourisher role it's just in us to want to make sure your family is fed.

my husband for instance- I can make him tea today and put in 1 teaspoon of sugar and make him another cup the following day and put in 2 sugars. He cannot tell the difference. To him his wife made the tea therefore it should be perfect. I will make dumpling for him and he wont notice that there is a bit too much yeast in there because according to him I made it and he reckons I make it the same way I always make it.

We're different species and are designed to do different things.

One and Only
17 May 2010 16:53

Maud I think divorces happen not because people are not serious about the marriage but because they choose the wrong people! Allow me to elaborate:

I'm currently with girlfriend who satisfy different needs in my life:

1) There's one I'm with because of nothing else but good sex
2) There's one that I will take with to show off to my friend when we meeting for drinks etc (drop dead gorgeous)
3) There's one that I can sit down with and have a matured conversation with. (Well educated)
4) And then there's this other one who's down to earth, has a mother and wife qualities.(Matric and humble)

Now what is gonna happen if I choose to marry woman # 1? Which woman above would you prefer to marry?

Diamondtoo
17 May 2010 17:19

The bottom line is, there are no ready-made Mr or Mrs Right out there. U have to know your standards, and not compromise on them. Having said that, that other things one can compromise and work thru them, like getting yo man to help.

Vesa
17 May 2010 17:26

Interesting topic!!!

I guess God knew this beforehand because he said this in HIS word

"Husbands.....love your wives", and to women HE said "respect your husbands". He knew there would be times like these in the world where women are independent and all, and therefore would struggle with issues of respect.
To men, the command is to love their wives......knowing the male species and their ways, this is soo profound!

Just thought I should share from the biblical side.

Apart from this, very interesting points have been made throughout......and I'm enlightened.

Green.arrow
17 May 2010 19:49

I enjoyed reading the comments...i especially loved the diversity about them.
All in all:
@ Carino..mina I’m a firm believer in having my own opinion and not doing things according to tradition.
@Blaque We all have unique qualities. If you base your life on societal expectations....etc etc...
Im with you guys. Since this morning i must have said this 6 times on different occasions, for different reasons one of which was on a subject similar to this one. Thats why your comments hit home so much.

Except Blaque i dont think they are solely silly stereotypical traits there was a lot of wisdom in some of the roles and traits as GML elaborated. There was wisdom in them,and there still is wisdom even today with added what what (taking into account the times we live in etc)

Hai mara guys

Green.arrow
17 May 2010 19:49

I enjoyed reading the comments...i especially loved the diversity about them.
All in all:
@ Carino..mina I’m a firm believer in having my own opinion and not doing things according to tradition.
@Blaque We all have unique qualities. If you base your life on societal expectations....etc etc...
Im with you guys. Since this morning i must have said this 6 times on different occasions, for different reasons one of which was on a subject similar to this one. Thats why your comments hit home so much.

Except Blaque i dont think they are solely silly stereotypical traits there was a lot of wisdom in some of the roles and traits as GML elaborated. There was wisdom in them,and there still is wisdom even today with added what what (taking into account the times we live in etc)

Hai mara guys

Green.arrow
17 May 2010 19:51

Hai mara guys ...le a bolela and i have lots of respect for all your views.....

carino
17 May 2010 20:01

wow.... this was good..

Now if we can just all make our way to the Winter Warmer next week.... I can imagine how great that will be.

carino
17 May 2010 20:02

wow.... this was good..

Now if we can just all make our way to the Winter Warmer next week.... I can imagine how great that will be.

Diamondtoo
18 May 2010 08:02

Very interesting...Lol!

Lus
18 May 2010 08:13

@ONE AND ONLY----I fell i need to answer your question though i am no man.

you will marrry the one one no5 you didnt write about te one who have all these qaulities you mentioned there.

she will be good in bed, drop dead gorgeous, well educated and will have the mother and ife qaulities.....yes they are out there keep searching , and dont think woman are really that different that you will have four at the same time you missing the mark in each and one of them.

Motswako show was a flop compared to the comments above here, you guys rock!

cleve
18 May 2010 09:01

lucky is the woman who has a husband who helps with house chores, mina owami you must cook, you can have all the helpers you want to clean do the ironing but cooking he will eat only your food, if you say you are tired thats when you will have take aways for supper, and that i do often as nami ngiyakhathala sometimes,

@ Maud, my hubby was exactly like that. It used to piss me off so bad that I actually stopped ,loving him (unknowingly) Seeing him would just make me angry. I was actually so glad everytime he left the house. I wished he would never come back. In a way distancing myself from him made him realise that he was making me unhappy, and how close he was to losing me. Now he cleans when I am not there, does the bed, takes care of our son, the dishes and all I have to do now is cook when I come home. And mind you I hated cooking, now I enjoy it because a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders and we don't have a helper. He tries everyday shem. I realised that the small things you do for your partner does keep the flame alive.

zozoe
18 May 2010 09:21

Give a woman potatoes and tomatoes she will make you the best potato/tomato gravy you have ever had. a man will not think of doing that- instead he would rather cough up R50 for a pizza. Roles are there and they are not determined by society but are roles given to us by GOD.>>>>> NGIYA FUNDA MINA

a good man is the one who respects you and your feelings , who loves you, support you when you need suport , rejoice with you when you are happy comfort you when you need comfort, the rest is just asking too much.>>>LOKO NGI FUNDA NJALO

"Husbands.....love your wives", and to women HE said "respect your husbands". He knew there would be times like these in the world where women are independent and all, and therefore would struggle with issues of respect.
To men, the command is to love their wives......knowing the male species and their ways, this is soo profound!>>>>NGIFUNDILE MINA SHEM

carino
18 May 2010 09:24

Juas thought I'd share a few triple kwaaaz I got from this comment I saw on one Lesotho blog that was announcing Penny Lebyane's new role as Motswako presenter....

<<<<E le hore Lesotho ha ho sa na batho bao ho ka buuoang ka bona? :?:
You reallyy like to glorify these SA has beens that are no longer popular in thier own countries

Please inform us about those young Basotho doing it for themselves and leave this fossils of the entertainment industry. We need young blood!! :>>>>>

LMAO... okay, maybe its not a nice thing to say, nhe.... but it's still funny.

mstick
18 May 2010 09:42

Penny Lebyane thats not how you speak Pedi.....i think you must watch the Rain Queen tonight so you can hear how Pedi is spoken you really are murdering our language.......and i understand its not your fault that you speak such terrible Pedi cause you grow up in Soweto mara ngwaneshu leka go bolela ga botse hle, o seke wa gatella mantju.....this is heartbreaking:-(

maddie
18 May 2010 10:01

blaque i love you so much, when everyone seems to be going the same direction you always come up with something different but yet profound and eye-opening.

off topic - when is your birthday dear?

Green.arrow
18 May 2010 10:02

Penny Lebyane thats not how you speak Pedi.....i think you must watch the Rain Queen tonight so you can hear how Pedi is spoken you really are murdering our language.......and i understand its not your fault that you speak such terrible Pedi cause you grow up in Soweto mara ngwaneshu leka go bolela ga botse hle, o seke wa gatella mantju.....this is heartbreaking:-( ....ga go ye e fetago ye nnete hle wena Mstick...its heartbreaking indeed. And those guys ko Rain Queen shem, baa se bolela sepedi o hwetse ke kgahlegile ebile ke ahlamile..(and im watching it for the first time)

Shy Girl
18 May 2010 10:16

baby e
18 May 2010 10:20

my friend loves her boyfriend BUT they have the following problems:
- she earns too much more than him
- the guy makes sure that he rubs it on her face all the time
- the guy is flipping insecure

it has now come to a stage where the guys wants to know my friends everyone move. i was telling her that if it was me i would have long left the guy. its has become so irritating and annoying that he goes through her emails and calls and asks why she is not saving some numbers, if they meet someone at the mall a guy and my friend greets the guy he wants to know why he was never told about th guy.
relationships are mathata........

mstick
18 May 2010 10:22

@ Green.arrow aowa taba ye e tloga e shisha ka nnete wa tseba......

And those guys ko Rain Queen shem, baa se bolela sepedi o hwetse ke kgahlegile ebile ke ahlamile

baa kgahlisa Green.arrow....the queen o betha sepedi gore kgosi a be a hlabe mogosi, Chief Maloro yena le mosadi wa gagwe they are the best......i'm not impressed with the Venda lady mara atleast wa leka.......

..(and im watching it for the first time)

Yho make sure you dont miss an episode i loved this drama thats why i dont mind repeating it

FK
18 May 2010 10:25

@makisto - I'm glad you are eluding to the fact that there is nothing wrong with being independent. The problem is when these women starts to flaunt their independence and claiming that they can do without men. They take these qualifications and putting them on the table when they start relationships. That qualification is no means of getting a man but to get a job. Hence you put it in your CV and no where else.

However, I have also seen guys (most) who are intimidated by this independence before they even get to know the woman. They just write her off when they see her confidence.

@Vesa - you've said it all.
Love and respect is all required to have a healthy relationship. God said it.

maddie
18 May 2010 10:32

eish people am also Pedi but I grew up in PTA so my command of the Pedi language is not that good and each time I hear people speaking Pedi or Shangaan on Tv ke a kgatlhega le nna, these are the languages that have been marginalised for so long.

Green.arrow
18 May 2010 10:32

@ mstick ...tse ntshi di ka nhlaya..mara e seng this drama...i even sms many people to remind them to watch it.

Yaa..Makhadzi wa sekwa sa gagwe sepedi gore se a teka teka mo le mola..mara o sebolela go phala ba bantshi..lenna wa mphala:-(

Maloro le mosadi wagagwe..yaa wa bona bao bona...., i could give them an award if it were possible.
Mosadi wa magoro: mogatsaka! a re ishe marapo gobeng..tl tl..i love how they never say a re robale...oh but this drama is ammmazing!!

Green.arrow
18 May 2010 10:37

Thats true maddie, they have been marginalised indeed, but i love what sabc tv is doing about the situation. And Big ups to etv as well..i heard this one guys a bole sepedi o kare kenneth mashaba on rythm city:-)....one of my little brothers who went to an afrikaans school is set on taking a class ya sepedi because he is hating the fact that ga a se kgone gabotse.

FK
18 May 2010 10:38

@ blaq Why should people assume roles in relationships?
Assuming roles is very important in everything we do. At work, there is a CEO, executives and workers. Your body has different parts and they all play a critical and different role in ensuring that everything works. This is how we were created.
Imagine if all our body parts were assuming roles of the mouth, stuffing everything in all organs with an opening????? No excretion????
Same as in relationships - roles are already defined by our sexes when we are born.

As a woman - I feel that those women who went to Beijing and came back with 50/50 were not representing me. We all know it, 50/50 DOES NOT WORK. iT HAS NEVER WORKED AND WILL NOT WORK.

maddie
18 May 2010 10:43

@ FK roles are already defined by our sexes when we are born.

Yah like giving birth later on as girls, that I cannot dispute but some roles are defined by society, like one blogger said "learnt behaviour"

Akia
18 May 2010 10:47

@Shy Girl the guy is obsessed yo 4rnd must run 4 her lyf

maud
18 May 2010 10:52

@Maddie- I am career woman, at home i am a wife and a Mother, and to tell you the truth i enjoy it, 50/50 was applying to work purposes whereby we woman are allowed same positions like man , own big houses like man do, but in a relation ship it doesnt work, i dont think i will feel comfortable seeing my husband cooking and cleaning unless iam sick, seeing my family sitting down having dinner that i prepared it gives me a nice feeling.

FK
18 May 2010 10:56

@ maud - 50/50 was applying to work purposes whereby we woman are allowed same positions like man , own big houses like man do, but in a relation ship it doesnt work.

Amen

Akia
18 May 2010 11:03

i thought i was crazy & being plain stupid 2thnk dat this 50/50 thng dsnt work in relationships nw i'm glad 2hear wht Maud is saying

zozoe
18 May 2010 11:05

loko ngi funda

carino
18 May 2010 11:19

God knows I want to say something on the *assuming roles* issue... if I will just get some time.

maud
18 May 2010 11:43

@Akia- i dont care how independend you are in a relationship you will stay a girlfriend/ a wife, no man will wake up and prepare a bath for himself ukhona , prepare clothes after bath goes straight to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, its a lie, maybe if nisajola not married ,ungasiboni sisindwa amasutu sizibiza ngama BEE, ezindlini sibomama bemizi nabafazi babantu, you leave your career at work your money in your bank account, unless kukhona into omenze yona esingayazi thina.

Msoe
18 May 2010 11:47

Gals mina I prayed once to find my Mr Right. I actually told God what I wanted. Since God is good he provided. He was loving, calls me at least 10 times a day, came to my house everyday, was okay in bed (not hoootttt, but something I could have lived with), he supported me finacially, got along with my family, I got along with his....I can go on and on. He was what was Mr Right in my eyes. Hehehe....There was only one downside to him. He treated me like the driver in a relationship. He wanted me to initiate going out, he wanted me to tell him when I wanted money, he wanted me to tell me what to buy for my birthday (WTF???), he wanted me to tell him when I want to go and watch a movie, he wanted me to tell him "Baby lets go out tonight", he wanted me to remind him that he needs to pay for his kid's school transport fee's....I could go on and on. To cut it short he didnt know how to be THE MAN in the relationship. I got sick of it, I missed being suprised, I miss being pampered without asking for it, I miss my man telling me "Msoe, dont cook tonight, lets go out". I just missed being the woman in the relationship. So my point is, what we think is Mr Right for us is not that at all. Just find what works for you and stick with it.

mstick
18 May 2010 12:10

unless kukhona into omenze yona esingayazi thina.

Panty Magic......lol

maud
18 May 2010 12:16

@mstick - no staysoft love

BigMama
18 May 2010 12:43

You are all the best, thumbs up to you mabloggers, you really out did the show...l think they must do a recap and take tips from this blog.

zozoe
18 May 2010 12:48

lol

Akia
18 May 2010 13:04

staysoft maluv is not 4me i cnt do it i jst nid him 2 luv me no muthi involved.

mstick
18 May 2010 13:04

LOL okay maud:-)

Pajero
18 May 2010 13:27

This blog was really great. Respect yo man and he will love u unconditionally. Being in a dating relationship is not the same as in marriage. When I said before treat the man like a baby I did not mean in a demeaning way of his manhood or undermining man's intelligence. Was refering to the love. When I said he needs to be taken care of I did not mean financially. Most women these days are so independent ant tend to forget that no matter how much they earn the man is still the head of the household and it needs to be respected.

mstick
18 May 2010 13:50

Motswako show was a flop compared to the comments above here, you guys rock!

it was more than a flop

mstick
18 May 2010 14:09

so Msoe did you break up with him? or did you try and talk things through with him?

ntoko
18 May 2010 14:28

I reali enjoy this topic guys and i still believe true love exist but the only thing that ruin relationships and true love Ama Gold digger asimoshela uthando either males/females

TKSM
18 May 2010 14:32

@ cleve I have found my Mr Right, I pray to God he stays that way. There are good men out there and sometimes we just too blind to see it.

WOW!!!!! Good for you girl!!!

Msoe
18 May 2010 14:56

@Mstick: I dumped him of course. I was slowly going crazy with annoyance of his actions. I started fighting with him for no reason until I realised I didnt love him anymore. The frustrating part was that he wasnt listening to me when I try to explain what is it that is bothering me. It was hard to let go though because I kept asking myself if this is what I want? What if I dump him and I meet someone who is worse? I finally succumbed the fear and told him I cant take it anymore and I want us to move on.

Sphethokuhle
18 May 2010 15:36

You see nowadays you cant see whos Mr Right or what cos now ladies buy love, you find out that your man was good at all time but cheating is there and only to find out that he meet miss Patrice Motsipe then all of the sudden he chance because he gets everything from umakhwapheni and now he thinks that he dont love you any more and go after those riches ladies.
All in all i want to say to all the ladies stop buying love instead of loving and respecting your man. If you want to show your man that you love and appreciet him love him and respect him not buying him with money.
Love and respect its all that makes relationship to last forever even the married couples. Love and respect your man and dont go after material thing cos you'll end up in sh******

Mokema
18 May 2010 15:50

You can respect and adore a man all you want but they are all the same THEY CHANGE whether you like it or not ladies men are like dogs if they can get fat meat fom umakhwapheni forget coz they will forget about you.

ntoko
18 May 2010 15:53

Msoe u had no choice gal i truly understand how u felt i should have done the same if i were in ur shoes.

maud
18 May 2010 15:56

@Mokema - no man will leave his wife for umakhwapheni trust me

ntoko
18 May 2010 16:10

But u know what is so sad Sphethokuhle sometimes u buy love while a man have a straight galfriend only to discover later that wena u are a minister of finance some men have no guts they even use their galfriends who provide them with everything ukondla izingane zabo; nikeza umfana imali kanti yena wondla ngayo kwi side and sometimes he is using ur money to build the house or pay lobola for her straight u gonna went on the coma for years the day they announce his wedding on the radio programme. Lets drop this issue cos its not gonna come to an end and there are people here who got hurt in the past regarding this issues they lost everything, Money can't buy love wake up and smell the coffee.

cleve
18 May 2010 16:27

@Mokema - no man will leave his wife for umakhwapheni trust me

there is no such thing, men leave you if they want to go. Wife or not!

mathata
19 May 2010 07:29

@sphetho.........how can women stop buying love?if someone buys love is all about F**** (sex),ppl get tired to look for so called MR RT,he F** you,morning he pick his smelly socks... n GO.

ppl's needs differ a lot when coming to buying love.ppl buys love for different reasons

love n respect its all that make relationship to last forever even the married couples....are you kidding me,are you married to a dictator??

Men are so wise n wicket,infact women are worse.

aslong you have some who f** you who makes yr blood flow life must go on .problem ppl like to own ppl that thing is a problem.

maud
19 May 2010 10:45

@Mokema - no man will leave his wife for umakhwapheni trust me

there is no such thing, men leave you if they want to go. Wife or not!

it was time for him to go, and he woud have gone even if there was no makhwapheni

realist
19 May 2010 10:52

no man will leave his wife for umakhwapheni trust me
Correct.

If there is a man who leave his wife for umakhwapheni then that man is an idiot. period.

pele
19 May 2010 12:12

no man will leave his wife for umakhwapheni trust me.
all man are individuals please dont generalise when you speak of the few man that wont. and someimes they dont leave because of makhwepheni but beacuse of too much strain in marriage unfrotunately when in these starins they go to tehir Makhwapheni who manage to be there even if they leave.

If there is a man who leave his wife for umakhwapheni then that man is an idiot. Period.

Man leave their wives everyday, whether they are idiots or not it's their personal chioce to do so who are you to judge.

maud
19 May 2010 12:18

Man leave their wives everyday, whether they are idiots or not it's their personal chioce to do so who are you to judge.

@pele-no one is judging anyone here, we are sharing different opinions, if you are not comfortable with the topic in hand please just read and dont answer, we dont want this article to get out of hand.i can see where is this going.

like i said they leave because they had to leave not because of umakhwapheni.

pele
19 May 2010 12:36

@maud...'IDIOT' in the sentence is judging, and is this your article na? as i am also sharing opinions and i was not referring to you only at realist when he says men who leave are idiots.

So please dont make this article get out of hand nawe, re-read and see wher i highlighted and replied..

i dont want to be banned again maan so dont start assumming without reading.

thato24
19 May 2010 12:45

i dont want to be banned again maan so dont start assumming without reading... kwa kwa kwa kwa

Eish mara this time u nt wrong Pele.... Maud Pele just raised a valid point and opinion I dnt think the "idiot' was meant for u

mstick
19 May 2010 13:48

i dont want to be banned again maan so dont start assumming without reading.

tl tl tl tl tl tl tl tl......dont worry Pele this is not Blaq's article....LMAO

fruity
19 May 2010 13:59

i dont want to be banned again

Kwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa@ pele

I once read a beautiful piece written by Khaya dlanga on the subject, here is my favourate quote from that piece

We should not seek perfect people, because they dont exist. If they did, we would find fault in them anyway. Lets just find other imperfect people to be perfect with. If they accept you for who you are, even with your greater faults, then I suppose that makes them perfect. And if you accept them with all their faults, then I suppose that makes you perfect too.

I just wish that it was simple to apply in real life.

realist
19 May 2010 14:17

Man leave their wives everyday, whether they are idiots or not it's their personal chioce to do so who are you to judge.
I see your point did not include umakhwapheni above. In that case I agree but if they leave because of umakhwapheni then i still maintain they are idiots. Period.

pele
19 May 2010 14:17

LOL....Keep on laughing on me hahhahha (inxeba lendoda alihlekwa noba izenzile *ephelile yintsini*)

Fruity----Khaya D is a brilliant columnist my bro, no wonder he won an award, i love his work nam. And this qoute is what everybody must put first in their search for these so - called Mr/Miss. Right.

pele
19 May 2010 14:31

@realist...now we will play hide and sick because i extracted your reply in bold, with the makhwapheni in it , so my answer is referring to tht...

i say who are you to judge? why label something if you not part of it?

maud
19 May 2010 14:45

Eish mara this time u nt wrong Pele.... Maud Pele just raised a valid point and opinion I dnt think the "idiot' was meant for u

i never said it was, my opinion was based on "Who are you to judge"'

@Pele - and yes this article is not mine and you will not be banned again

realist
19 May 2010 14:53

Pele
The reason I’m saying they idiots is because the same will happen once umakhwapheni gets the contract. If you leave your wife for a valid reason and you cannot reconcile with each other then I can understand.

But leave your wife because of cheating and end up signing the contract with umakhwapheni then something is wrong with that person committing the act.

I’m not judging but giving my personal opinion and advice. It maybe harsh but that is reality.

Tash 1
19 May 2010 14:59

Molweni: Gud man r either taken or dead!!

pele
19 May 2010 15:18

@realist - while i get your point and reasons i really think when you label something you judging.

these man we talking about here call it ''living life'', they do as they please and yes at the end of the day they get burned and @ least some of them learn something like ''Tyson'', the only thing you and i can do while watching is to advise not label to be realistic now.

@maud - we are sharing different opinions, if you are not comfortable with the topic in hand please just read and dont answer, we dont want this article to get out of hand.ino one is judging anyone here, we are sharing different opinions, if you are not comfortable with the topic in hand please just read and dont answer, we dont want this article to get out of hand.i can see where is this going.
./// so why did you have to write this if you didnt think i was talking to you.no one is judging anyone here, we are sharing different opinions, if you are not comfortable with the topic in hand please just read and dont answer, we dont want this article to get out of hand.

i can see where is this going. // and what were you seeing here?

realist
19 May 2010 15:36

Pele
Point taken

maud
19 May 2010 15:45

@Pele - fruitless debate

and now back to the topic ,

Gud man r either taken or dead - so true or either still to be born

myname
20 May 2010 10:16

Without a doubt, this was interesting and knowledgeable. Thanks bloggers.

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