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Generations: The Legacy Teasers
The first, the original, the one and only: TVSA Soapie Teasers -
brought to our beloved community of soapie fans since 2006.

Generations Teasers - April 2011

Written by TVSA Team from the blog Generations Teasers on 27 Mar 2011
Favourite this post


Coming up on Generations in April 2011:

Friday 1 April 2011
Episode 67 (3309)

Senzo gets the shock of his life when he arrives at Siqalo. Why is Patricia so "into" plants all of a sudden?

Jigga gives Ruby a lesson on good parenting.



Monday 4 April 2011
Episode 68 (3310)

Sharon is determined to impress her father-in-law - come hell or high water. Khaphela makes a shocking discovery and isn’t sure what to make of it.

Nicholas doesn’t take kindly to being reprimanded in front of his colleagues.

Tuesday 5 April 2011
Episode 69 (3311)


Choppa has to think fast when he’s accused of growing dope at Siqalo. Dumisani fumes when his opinion as MD is disregarded.

As usual, Queen puts two and two together and gets six.

Wednesday 6 April 2011
Episode 70 (3312)

Jason almost chokes on his breakfast when a girl walks in from the bedrooms.

Three township boys are thrilled to be left to their own devices in the Moroka mansion.

Patricia goes cold when she’s confronted at ‘gunpoint’.

Thursday 7 April 2011
Episode 71 (3313)


Sharon has some hard work ahead of her if she wants to impress her in-laws. Samuel confronts an irked Phakeme about the name issue.

Ruby gets an unexpected gift which melts her heart.

Friday 8 April 2011
Episode 72 (3314)

Sizani seems to have resigned herself to the worst. Confident Dineo turns heads when she arrives at the office.

Choppa adds a whole new twist to the umqombothi brew...



Monday 11 April 2011
Episode 73 (3315)

Kenneth tries to hide his jealousy but Ace sees through him. Are Jason and Senzo ready to give it another go?

Not getting an invitation isn’t enough to keep Queen away from a party.

Tuesday 12 April 2011
Episode 74 (3316)


Ruby is suspicious of Jigga’s good mood. Ngamla is riled when he gets a taste of his own medicine.

Patricia is wary and suspicious about an unexpected gift.

Wednesday 13 April 2011
Episode 75 (3317)

Dineo is shocked to hear what the newspapers have to say about her. A stranger arrives at Siqalo Court with her suitcases and all.

Khethiwe’s flattered when a man sends over a drink. Little does she know...

Thursday 14 April 2011
Episode 76 (3318)

Jason vows to deal with a troublesome staff member. Kenneth shows some heart for a change.

A stranger arrives at Mashaba Ads looking for Senzo.

Friday 15 April 2011
Episode 77 (3319)

Things get ugly when mother and daughter have it out. Sharon is shocked and angry to hear what Samuel has done.

The Khumalos aren’t sure what to make of their new in-laws.



Monday 18 April 2011
Episode 78 (3320)

Ace realises he’s bitten off more than he can chew.

Choppa gets punched... by a woman!

Scheming Nicholas is out for revenge.

Tuesday 19 April 2011
Episode 79 (3321)

Angry Phakeme is not in the mood to be messed with. Ngamla can’t help being curious about Senzo’s good mood.

New Horizons clearly hasn’t seen the last of Kenneth yet ...

Wednesday 20 April 2011
Episode 80 (3322)

Irked Dineo makes it clear she can fight her own battles. Diamond isn’t about to back off - he means business.

Katja is shocked and humiliated by what happens at the office

Thursday 21 April 2011
Episode 81 (3323)


Puleng refuses to let Uncle Bennie mess with her. Nicholas is furious when he gets a second warning.

Shocked Ruby needs a drink after what she witnesses in Jigga’s room.

Friday 22 April 2011
Episode 82 (3324)

Ngamla arrives at the Mashaba mansion itching for a fight. The wedding arrangements get off to a bad start.

Jason is furious when Dumisani pulls rank.



Monday 25 April 2011
Episode 83 (3325)

Matthew knows it’s time to come clean but doesn’t know how. Things are decidedly tense in the Dlomo household.

Khethiwe gets a very unwelcome and frightening surprise...

Tuesday 26 April 2011
Episode 84 (3326)


Sharon is devastated after a phone call, unaware that the worst is yet to come. Nicholas can’t figure out what’s so significant about the 15th of March...

Dineo extends an olive branch but it isn’t too well received.

Wednesday 27 April 2011
Episode 85 (3327)

Queen can’t figure out why on earth the bride-to-be is so depressed. Patricia thinks Khaphela’s asking for trouble but he doesn’t want to hear it.

Jason’s throwing a big bash... problem is he doesn’t know about it.

Thursday 28 April 2011
Episode 86 (3328)


Matthew’s impromptu party isn’t as much fun as he was hoping it would be. Katja gets invited to a party but isn’t sure she wants to go.

Senzo gets the shock of his life when he’s caught in the act... again.

Friday 29 April 2011
Episode 87 (3329)


Nicholas finds out the hard way that regret always comes too late. Sharon gets the best wedding present she could ever have hoped for.

Kenneth is taken aback when a compliment brings a staffer to tears.



Generations is on SABC1 Mondays to Fridays at 20h00.



667 Comments

gugulethu72
27 Mar 2011 21:09

Yipeeeeeeeee im number one...now let me read

swazzy
27 Mar 2011 21:10

number two yeeeyii

jkay
27 Mar 2011 21:13

there shld b mo flesh to these teasers. this month sims to b beta bt with kenneth leavin da soapie i dnt no if we hv much 2 look forward 2

Bubble
27 Mar 2011 21:22

M new n alrdy in tOp 4 wOw,bt dnt watch gen dat much anymr yabOra

naishe03
27 Mar 2011 23:23

Wow,made it in2 top 5 boring!!!

Msjackson
28 Mar 2011 00:15

Is kenny leaving gens?

botselicpus
28 Mar 2011 07:18

once in my life am in top 10 *smilling* gape gen is gng to bore us, okare they need fresh talent, blood & soul.

Yemu237
28 Mar 2011 07:40

Ok number 8.had forgotten abt the teasers coz Generations is gettin boring these days.Oh well lemme read!

S.K
28 Mar 2011 07:46

Wow, i made it to top something!  lol

sexy d
28 Mar 2011 07:56

yippie made it to top 10 wow

stemo
28 Mar 2011 08:08

morning all mabloggers, I must generations is boring lately.

Trublu
28 Mar 2011 08:13

Morning peeps

11th?? . wow. I'm always around 30 something. Now lemme read

Talala
28 Mar 2011 08:22

I'm in the top twenty now let go read

Talala
28 Mar 2011 08:32

I meant to say let me go and read

AZTEC
28 Mar 2011 08:36

YIPEEEEEE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME..........I THINK KAPELA SHUD HAVE A GO AT PATRICIA............QUEEN SHUD GET DUMI INTO BEDNAD KHETI KHETI SHUD HAVE KENNETH?

Omphile M
28 Mar 2011 08:37

What a drama

swazzy
28 Mar 2011 08:39

gen sucks big time ... what sitcom or drama /soapie airs at 20:00 on the other channels one can watch really i gave it a chance but im fed up..

Omphile M
28 Mar 2011 08:41

Tjo am in the top 20 yipeeeeeeee........

liya2010
28 Mar 2011 08:45

charmagal
28 Mar 2011 08:48

yeepi im on top 20

let mee read

charmagal
28 Mar 2011 08:56

@ms jackson yes kenny is leavn gen, his last appearnace will be in August

liya2010
28 Mar 2011 09:02

happy birthday AZTEC and 2 GEN no comment okwangoku

S.K
28 Mar 2011 09:20

I think this month is happening.

mamakaroro
28 Mar 2011 09:27

Morning mabloggers is Kenny leaving,y?

tlouphiri
28 Mar 2011 09:28

hello guys, im back and with full force

Skhuluh
28 Mar 2011 09:32

The only good thng bwt this month is dat the royal family-khumalo's wil b makin appearances.apart frm them its boring as usual...

ntoko
28 Mar 2011 09:36

top 30 now lemme read

Mrs Chix
28 Mar 2011 09:42

Top 30 yippeeeeee, let me read

Mrs Chix
28 Mar 2011 09:42

Top 30 yippeeeeee, let me read

tmoss
28 Mar 2011 09:42

tmoss
28 Mar 2011 09:44

boring

ownah m p
28 Mar 2011 09:44

oooooh my God!
guys i hope u are good

Mrs Chix
28 Mar 2011 09:54

Honestly this is boring.

Vandimerwe
28 Mar 2011 09:58

nxaaaa

chiwanza
28 Mar 2011 10:27

chiwanza
28 Mar 2011 10:27

Xinga
28 Mar 2011 10:31

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AZTEC

bomyy
28 Mar 2011 10:37

oh no! looks like choppa is turning generations into emzini wezintsizwa! argh
goosd morning yol

S.K
28 Mar 2011 10:46

Happy birthday Aztec!!!!

sexy d
28 Mar 2011 10:49

Hapi b day Aztec pls do enjoy ur day

@Tlouphiri welcome back

Cant wait 2 see hey maybe it will b intresting wen tym goes by.

bomyy
28 Mar 2011 11:07

why generations does not do teasers like other soapies? now we have to gues wat is going to happen because of all the riddles, mxm

siyamcela
28 Mar 2011 11:19

Wondering if Kenn iz realy leaving...who will tyk over on Mashaba media

ntoko
28 Mar 2011 12:03


Kusemini bebade ilanga likhipha umkhovu etsheni

okunguBongani kuhlezi e--sitting room amehlo athe njo

kumabonakude. Laphaya ngaphandle uVezi ocelwe ngumaDlamini

unina kaBongani, ujuluke umanzi umatasatasa uzama ukuvala

imbobo eyavulwa nguye uBongani ocingweni olubiyele umuzi.

Kubuye kwale kuVezi kusho, ukuthi mfishane unkabi lona,

acele ukugibela emahlombe kumaDlamini ukuze afinyelele

kahle phezulu ngesipanela sakhe.


Kukhale ucingo:

uBongani: 'Hallo kukwaMthembu ngingakusiza?'

Mthembu : 'Ndodana, usubuyile eskoleni njalo?'

Bongani: 'Yebo baba sengibuyile'

Mthembu : 'Uphi umawakho'

Bongani: 'uMa nanguya laphayana'

Mthembu :'Wenzani?'

Bongani: 'Ubaba uVezi uphezu kwakhe bazama ukuvala

leyambobo engaphuma ngayo'


Waquleka uMthembu



Ngwanab
28 Mar 2011 12:07

Boring shame nothing interesting this month.

nzuzo
28 Mar 2011 12:12

hahahaaaa............ ntoko iyo haykhona.  

bomyy
28 Mar 2011 12:14

lol ntoko

beautybrain
28 Mar 2011 12:28

Shudn't hav bothered. Sou BORING,it frustrates me. NXA

purhase
28 Mar 2011 12:40

When is Ntombi coming back or she has gone for good.

Vandimerwe
28 Mar 2011 12:45

purchase a kere they said 6months.............eish i cant wait for her to come and they must team against kenny.............. (Sbu, senzo and ntombi)

Castaloja
28 Mar 2011 13:22

Thanx for the teasers,i am still puzzled about why Khethiwe had to stab Dumisani to be with him.It is time that Queen got a man,her role in the soapy is fading.Samuel must get Ndoni as the second wife,he is going to be the chief after all,i would love to see how that pends out.Katja's man must appear now,we would love to see these arguments she has been talking about.

S.K
28 Mar 2011 13:49

Aykhona Ntoko, that sounds so dirty!!!! lol

sexy d
28 Mar 2011 14:08

@Ntoko hahaha kwwwaaaaa kwwaaaaa it is indeed dirty

phindy a.k.a rabbit
28 Mar 2011 14:15

hi people
kodwa ntoko ungenzani . ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gambukazi
28 Mar 2011 14:23

ntoko hahahaha, maan.

boring nyan u gen these days.

AZTEC
28 Mar 2011 14:43

THANK YOU............LIYA, XINGA AND SEXY D......MUCH LOVE!!!

S.K
28 Mar 2011 14:50

AZTEC, what about me now? *with an angry face*

underwoman
28 Mar 2011 15:30

it is tym that Queen get a man. Dineo, just stay without a boyfriend to heal and 4get about the mashabas, u will start afresh. 

lizziemalecha
28 Mar 2011 17:46

aggg,generations is sooo not ON this month!!mxm...

ms Lihle
28 Mar 2011 20:19

Guys I hp m wrong hv u notic Shaz's dress code n de way she's hiding her tummy? I thnk de rumours were true she's preg.n nico's contract mst end I'v had enough of dat guy n ppl hus de bride?

S.K
29 Mar 2011 07:21

I think Shaz is preg too! the dress code is just for hiding the tummy for real.
Anyway, can i get an update of yesterday's episode? I couldn't watch!!!!

ntoko
29 Mar 2011 08:11


A MALE TOURIST ASKED A SEX WORKER, WHAT DOES RSA STAND FOR??



SHE REPLIED:

REKA SEX ABUTI....


sexy d
29 Mar 2011 08:19

morning all

@ntoko clever sex worker she is marketing herself lol

titidi
29 Mar 2011 09:08


Shame poor Matthew he's on ARV's, i think is very hard for young person espacial if u living a hertic life like abo-DJ to be on treating. He's smoking dagga and is drinking a lot of alcohol of which that kind of life is not allowed when u on ARV's. S 

Condomm
29 Mar 2011 09:19

hello bloggers, long time!!!

purhase
29 Mar 2011 09:25

Guys my country Botswana is the first to qualify for AFCON 2012. Please celebrate with me,i know Bafana Bafana is also coming.Its the first time we have ever qualified,the mood in Gabs is so high,am so excited Ntoko.

gambukazi
29 Mar 2011 09:25

hai banthu, shame i liked shaz the way she treates her brother.

bomyy
29 Mar 2011 09:30

maybe shas is not preg, myb generations is trying to be real for once and shaz is hiding her after birth mkhaba

S.K
29 Mar 2011 09:39

Oh thanks Tazzy babe, u r a star!!!!

OMG!!! Mat is positive, this smoking and excessive drinking can be so dangerous for him hey!!!! Queen needs a man shame. If Queen were to find out about Mat's status, i cant imagine how she will react!!!!!

Jason will regret this and he will remember Senzo's words when he told him that is something about Nic!!!!!

bomyy
29 Mar 2011 09:50

to add on Taz.t:
Hlomla put his spoilt son in his place after that brat was just disrespecting his father infront of everyone at ezweni, telling his dad about how much he does not like living with him and how much his dad can not stand beautiful women... then the old man had a great come back that left that irritating moskito(nich) humiliated and feeling stupid

S.K
29 Mar 2011 10:00

Wow, what was that come back??

bomyy
29 Mar 2011 10:02

Hlomla: I never liked the idea that you have to work here, but now that you do how about u be a proffesional and behave like an adult? stop bringing personal matters to the office! you are an ambarrasment! to me and your coleagues!

S.K
29 Mar 2011 10:04

LMAO, he asked for it!!!!! I hate that stinking lil pig

S.K
29 Mar 2011 10:04

Thanks bomyy!!!!!

ntoko
29 Mar 2011 10:19

Husband says to wife: "Your bum looks like a braai stand".

Wife gets offended and goes to sleep.

At night the husband politely asks: "Sweetie, don't you feel like
making love?
Wife says: "Do you expect me to light the braai stand just for a small piece of sausage?

AZTEC
29 Mar 2011 11:02

SORRY S.K...................................................THANK YOU AND MAY YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY WITH LOTS OF LUV!!!!

tlouphiri
29 Mar 2011 11:32

thanx @ sexy d, I still love u.

people, can anyone tell me what happen 2 M2D?

sexy d
29 Mar 2011 11:36

@Tlouphiri love u 2
M2D is jst taking a break she said she will be bk once generations becomes more intresting..

charmagal
29 Mar 2011 11:37

GPY   >>>>hai Ntoko..................no noman thus too mch ..



tlouphiri
29 Mar 2011 11:43

@ ntoko: I understand that wife really, how can a husby say that?

bomyy
29 Mar 2011 11:46

a pregnant blonde is conversing with her friend

friend: how are things between you and your husband?
blonde: you know that man is such a jerk and a lying cheater! he cheats so much i am not even sure that this baby i am carrying is his

bomyy
29 Mar 2011 11:51

that husband was rude

maud
29 Mar 2011 12:39

hi everyone till now i am still waiting for you guys to say that i told you that Mathew was positive
@Tazteeq you are scarse

S.K
29 Mar 2011 12:53

@TAZ !!!!!LMAO, that egg mara!!!!! Lolling!!!!!!! tltlltltltltlt
maud, u scarce yourself, what happened to u? Did u say he was positive? LOL,

tryphine
29 Mar 2011 13:17

hi pple.............eish already

gambukazi
29 Mar 2011 13:35

molweni kwakhona tell me guyz is it time for lunch already yho busy busy, 

by the way ehehemmm,i wanted to sa.....................y

love you all.

charmagal
29 Mar 2011 13:58

CAN I GET PREGNANT?

Put yourself in the teacher's position and think about what You would say after hearing this.

In a second grade class, a little girl asks,

Teacher, can my Mommy get pregnant?

How old is your mother, dear? asks the teacher.

Forty. she replies.

Yes, dear, your mother could get pregnant.

The little girl then asks, Can my big sister get pregnant?

Well, dear, how old is your sister?

The little girl answers, Nineteen.

Oh yes, dear, your sister certainly could get pregnant.

The little girl then asks, Can I get pregnant?

How old are you, dear?

The little girl answers, I'm seven years old.

No, dear, you can't get pregnant...

Then, the little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke and says,

See, I told you we had nothing to worry! about.


The teacher fainted!!!

tlouphiri
29 Mar 2011 14:05

@chamagal, i have fainted 2

Mokema
29 Mar 2011 14:09

M glad i m nt seeing much of BL and SSS now m praying for Nich to disappear

Condomm
29 Mar 2011 14:24

Just read Muvhango teasers for April. It's gonna be interesting. It would be better than watching this humpty dumpty.

gambukazi
29 Mar 2011 14:28

@chamagal, yhuu soze unga faint sana nam too.

S.K
29 Mar 2011 14:47

Yoh ay shame, I just fainted too!!! At 7yrs, i would kill the lil thing.

bomyy
29 Mar 2011 14:49

thixo baw onamandla! aint that scary! i would just stand there speechless

sexy d
29 Mar 2011 15:12

@charmagal i could also faint and woke up after a year at the age of seven ''shocking my head''

sexy d
29 Mar 2011 15:12

@charmagal i could also faint and woke up after a year at the age of seven ''shocking my head''

Vandimerwe
29 Mar 2011 15:16

i hv fainted too

maud
29 Mar 2011 16:14

S.K i am around just busy i cant rest CIPRO is making my life miserable with all their changes but hey i do come and check on you guys you know i love you and i cant stay away from you lovely fellows

Msjackson
29 Mar 2011 16:31

Guys i dnt understand why u keep watching gens if u think its boring coz u cum here to complaign about how boring it is as 4 me i enjoy it coz i can that its cuming bck wit vava voom watch da space

gena 1 fan
30 Mar 2011 01:34

gena 1 fan
30 Mar 2011 01:40

hi guys. is Lungile just in Dineo`s Imagination? Nicholas already bringing in girls adn Jason getting jealous? Tiny, Jigga and ... in queen`s house, is Jigga going to move out into the moroka mansion? patricia interested in Choppa` dagga?

S.K
30 Mar 2011 07:15

Morning peeps!
Please keep the jokes coming today, i need them!!!!!

Mokema
30 Mar 2011 07:44

Recap please

Mokema
30 Mar 2011 07:49

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him R10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to R7,50.
"Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing."
A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes R5.
"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor. "First you give me R10 every day, then R7,50 and now only R5. What's the problem?"
"Well," the man says, "last year my eldest son went to university.
It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further."
"And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.
"Four," the man replies.
"Well," says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense."

S.K
30 Mar 2011 08:03

LMAO, this beggar thinks he owns this man's pocket now? LOL, good one!!!!!!

sexy d
30 Mar 2011 08:30

morning all

Tshidisok
30 Mar 2011 08:52

Morning to you too sexy d. People m curious, Ive only joined this side last month, n dnt attend to it that much due to my always busy schedule, mara after reading Gen's teasers i realized we will be seeing new faces. question is; how come we never heard of generations auditions? No wonder they end up with people like Matthew and his bear faced friend. whats his name again anyway?

S.K
30 Mar 2011 09:01

Tshidi, his name is Choppa, LMAO!!!!

Mokema
30 Mar 2011 09:03

NO. 1
A man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put
Poison on the wife's nipples while she was asleep. The next day, their
Driver died of poisoning.

NO.2
A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is
dying of AIDS. His son asked Dad why? He answered so that when I am
dead, no one will sleep with your mum.

NO.3
A lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid
in front of the husband. Maid said sir you are my witness you know I
never wear panties

charmagal
30 Mar 2011 09:08

lol@ moookema-----sir u my witness u knw i nva wear panties lol stupid maid

Tshidisok
30 Mar 2011 09:20

choppa, what kind of a name is that anyway....

bomyy
30 Mar 2011 09:48

Generations is bringing ghetoness into the soapie! that is just messed up! it was suposed to be about ama BEE akuma suburbs, not some karijuana junkie from ekasi, shebeens, etc!

S.K
30 Mar 2011 10:05

Hehehehehe,Mokema, LMAO!!!!
What a stupidmaid. I would slap her

gambukazi
30 Mar 2011 10:13

mokema, hayi shame this beggar, hahahaha seylithemba lakhe.
maid is jelous.

yho hayi kengoku, gen, didnt see that part of dinny getting a comfort from? while she was crying.

MsKim
30 Mar 2011 10:13

they shld jus change the script, o the writers. whether ghetto o mixed o watever they shld change their storylines..

hehehe the way Lungile held Dinewhore, they'll be somting going on there very soon.

Good morning good pple.

Tshidisok
30 Mar 2011 10:26

It is said if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, some @$&? taxi driver would be clever enough to pass all so them. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day. The things that comes to those who wait are the things left by those who got there first. He who laughs last thinks slowest......kwi kwi kwi!

Msjackson
30 Mar 2011 10:28

This is deja vour lungile was in india wen karabo needed a shoulder to cry on we she misd tau nd now lungile is in dinnys office to give her a shoulder to cry on dis man doesnt learn neh he will get burned again anyway what is he doing in town

Theoza
30 Mar 2011 10:39

@Msjackson He is back to give his shoulder to Dinnewhore to cry on

vinc
30 Mar 2011 10:52

I see there is a Diamond also joining the show in April, away with stupid names., sham no wonder Oz even called him Choppa, Chappy.

How did Lungile know where to find Dineo, a phone call first will be convincing. Any man is good for the Mzansi Brooke, i would have hated to see her going back to Kenneth.

AZTEC
30 Mar 2011 11:47

A MAN COMPLAINED ABOUT HIS WIFES COOKING EVERYDAY AND ONE DAY SHE GOT SO PISSED OFF THAT  SHE DECIDED TO GIVE HIM A TIN OF DOGS FOOD FOR SUPPER.....RE RAVED ABOUT HOW FANTASTIC THIS NEW DISH WAS. AS SHE WAS SHOPPING SHE TOLD HER SISTER ABOUT IT AND HER SISTER SAID..U ARE GOING TO KILL HIM FEEDING HIM DOG FOOD...AND A MONTH LATER HE WAS DEAD. HER SIS SAID I TOLD U THAT UR GOING TO KILL HIM AND SHE SAID NO...HE WAS IN THE ROAD LICKING HIS BALLS AND A BUS KILLED HIM

Condomm
30 Mar 2011 11:51

@tshidisok , he's name is "humpty dumpty"

magerry
30 Mar 2011 12:20

At the regular Sunday morning service, Rev Roberto announced that he
> was planning to leave for a larger church that would pay him more.
>
> There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave,
> because he is so popular. Colin, who owns several car dealerships
> stands up and proclaims, "If Rev Roberto stays, I will provide him
> with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Honda CRV, to
transport their children!"
>
> The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
>
> Daniel, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says, "If Rev
> Roberto will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and
> establish a foundation to guarantee a free university education for
his children!"
>
> More sighs and loud applause....
>
> Mary age 68, stands and announces with a smile, "If Rev Roberto stays,
> I will provide sex!"
>
>
> There is total silence....
>
> Rev Roberto blushing and asks her: "Mary, you're a wonderful and holy
lady.
> Whatever possessed you to say that?"
>
>
> Mary's 70-year old husband Mike, is now trying to hide, holding his
> forehead
>
>
> with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side,
> while his wife replied,
>
> "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help and he said: "Fuck
him!''

S.K
30 Mar 2011 12:23

LMAO, poor man!!! That's just plain stupidity, so MEN stop complaining. lol

Snuca Babe
30 Mar 2011 12:50

A man returns home from work and enters through the kitchen door. He sees his wife on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor. She only has an apron on, so the husband gets a big hard on and starts humping his wife doggy style.

When he is through he pulls out and at the same time hits her real hard on her head.

"What was that?" the wife screamed "Here I am being so nice to you, and letting you really enjoy yourself. What did you hit me for??"

The husband looks at her and angrily says "For not looking back to see who it was!"


andi01
30 Mar 2011 12:55

Well, I just asked my husband how we could help and he said: "*bleep!*
him!''
  <classic> LOL

S.K
30 Mar 2011 13:56

Shapa Scuca babe shaaaaaaaaaappppppaaa!!!!!!!! LMAO
The husband looks at her and angrily says "For not looking back to see who it was!"

Vandimerwe
30 Mar 2011 14:12

ijerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr @Snuca

Ramocha
30 Mar 2011 15:05

there wil be gud for each other Lungile and diny

Mokema
30 Mar 2011 15:11



You know one thing I heard this morning that made me realize that God really really loves us? A friend of mine just told me how God works. When praying , he said, its like you are placing an order to the Lord:

Imagine you are in a restaurant with a friend. Your friend orders fish and chips but you order steak and chips (Well done). Now your friends order comes through quickly because we all know that fish and chips can be done quick quick compared to a well done steak that will take some time.

Now your friends fish and chips is here and you are longing for it.........What do you do? Take some of the friend’s while you wait for your order or wait patiently for your OWN order….What would your choice be?


Make you decision now before reading further!

Moral of the story is.........

You pray hard for something from God, and you want it well done, you want it well prepared but the problem now is that you cant wait for what God has prepared for you because you are longing for what God has prepared for others....


Let us pray to the Lord and place our orders and our prayers will be answered at the right time.The Lord has prepared a destiny for each and every individual so…………..

WHY CAN’T WE WAIT FOR OUR STEAK????

Enjoy the rest of your day my loving buddies .....and REMEMBER.....................wait for your steak.

S.K
30 Mar 2011 15:19

M gonna ask for my one to be almost raw khona kuzoshesha!!!!!!!

MsKim
30 Mar 2011 16:06

ya they'll be a better match than Lungile n Karabo, somhw Karobo seemed older than Lungile, Paul also seemed a lot older than Dinewhore. perfect match.. Karabo's leftovers. hop Lungile is here stay.

@Mokema danki dear, will be patient from now on.

S.K
31 Mar 2011 07:41

Mornign people!!!!!!!

Lungile is a perfect match for Dineo, except for the fact that its Karabo's left overs. I wonder what is it that he wanted to talk to Kenneth about Dineo.....

Jason, u deserved that punch, i hope he did it twice. I hope u have nightmares at night and think back and learn to appreciate the perfect thing u have before its gone. Senzo will eventually go back to him coz he's a softy and he loves him dearly. Nxa!!!!!!

gambukazi
31 Mar 2011 08:33

morning ppl, this is my last day to day see u around maybe twice a week, i am going to work in the field,so that is the sad part of it not to c u everyday, but what is nice is that i have been promoted so jaa i am going to do what i have been dreaming for.

Vandimerwe
31 Mar 2011 08:37

congrats gambukazi

sexy d
31 Mar 2011 08:38

morning all

You can ay that again S.K hope by the the he realises gore he still loves Senzo it wont be too late
@gambukazi congratulations on ur promo and we will also miss u dear.

charmagal
31 Mar 2011 08:45

wow Gambu----congrates...we will miss u*SAd*

i loved da party ya nich punchn u Jason

andi01
31 Mar 2011 08:55

@Mokema- your friend must be a die-hard Ncadweni fan

muculogy
31 Mar 2011 09:43

molweni nonke,

just want to say Matthwe ngikuthanda kunjalo tltltltltltl ngisemathandweni mina *singing*

Talala
31 Mar 2011 09:52

Morning good ppl

I miss genenerations these days what r u saying guys did nich punch Jason why?

Lol@andi01

Tantak
31 Mar 2011 09:56

Thanks Mokema for your message.

S.K
31 Mar 2011 10:27

@Talala, Nich decided that him and Jason who just stay indoors and just watch movies and have couple of beers. So when they were chatting, Nich asked about Jason's ideal woman, then the ideal guy. Json said he must be hot, look good, sense of homour etc, and at the and he said, SOMEONE LIKE U. Then Nich smiled and Jason tried to kiss him and he knocked him, i think that was an elbow!!! Like WTF u doing man? LMAO.

gambukazi
31 Mar 2011 10:34

thanx guyz, i will miss u trully.

tht woman is at kiosk, is boring me. what is her name by the way?

she knows everything about dagga, look the time she was thinking when Khapela asked about that plant. i think she is smoking it and she planted it futhi. nxa.

qaqamba
31 Mar 2011 10:48

@gambukazi, congrats gal, WISH ALL THE BEST .

answering your qustion her name is Patricia, (Wilfred's wife) she is soo boring,rata dinto,

titidi
31 Mar 2011 11:32


tshisa mpama, oola mpama, Nich is not good at all,

skura
31 Mar 2011 11:33

A Gambukazi, Patricia did not plant that dagga there it was Choppa...they were on their way to the garage ( i think) him and mathew but he turned back and planted it without Mathew knowing...

liya2010
31 Mar 2011 11:48

gambukazi ndiyavuyisana nawe, wish u ol the best in the field....im also wont b here anymore bcoz 2day is my last @work & ifne yam nguMABHEBEZA ayina-INTERNETso c u when i c u....LUV u ALL

ksekepe
31 Mar 2011 11:51

i wonder wat Queen will say, about Matts status, omg poor queen

gambukazi
31 Mar 2011 12:00

thanx qaqamba sisi,
@liya lets throw the party kaloku. hambe kahle nawe ke.

skura what im saying  is soloko esazi coz ecinga nje uzoyazi la plant uba yeyantoni.

magerry
31 Mar 2011 12:00

@gambukazi congratulations on your new assignment, we will definitely miss you just be sure to check in with the site whenever you get a chance.

magerry
31 Mar 2011 12:13

lol @Tazteeq you are so right and she will scrub her body with disinfectant just in case the virus is still hanging somewhere around her body

Mokema
31 Mar 2011 12:25

Read this and don't stop till the end:

Imagine that you had won the following prize in a contest:
Each morning your bank would deposit R86,400.00 in your private account for your use.

However, this prize had rules just as any game has certain rules.

The first set of rules would be:

1 Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be Forfeited.

2 You may not simply transfer money into some other account.

3 You may only spend it.

Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another R86,400.00 for that day.

The second set of rules: 

1 The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say,“It’s
over, the game is over!”

2 It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally do?

• You would buy anything and everything you wanted, right?

• Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love, right?

• Even for people you don’t know, because you couldn’t possibly spend it all on yourself, right?

• You would try to spend every cent and use it all, right?

ACTUALLY, THIS GAME IS LIFE!!

Each of us is in possession of such a ‘magical’ bank.

We just can’t seem to see it.

THE MAGICAL BANK IS TIME!

Each awakening morning we receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life, and when we go to sleep at night,

any remaining time is NOT credited to us.

What we haven’t lived up to that day is forever lost.

Yesterday is forever gone.

Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time…….WITHOUT WARNING.

WELL, what will you do with your 86,400 seconds?

Aren’t they worth so much more than the same amount in dollars?

Think about that, and always think of this:

Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

So take care of yourself, and enjoy life!



S.K
31 Mar 2011 12:56

OMG!!!!! Mokema!

gambukazi
31 Mar 2011 13:16

wowww, Mokema!

tlouphiri
31 Mar 2011 13:46

i like that @mokema, please motivate me more


vivalicious
31 Mar 2011 14:00

@ Mokema-Thanks for the beautiful message
Hello to all bloggers!

Talala
31 Mar 2011 14:08

That is so tru Mokema thanks dear

@ SK thank u sisi 

@ Gambu congrats gal gud luck and enjoy dont 4get that we luv you

@ Liya what do u mean when you say 2day is yo last day? anyway gudluck sisi sizokukhumbula

nzuzo
31 Mar 2011 14:50

Thanx Mokema i like i like.......

zvee
31 Mar 2011 14:59

I suspected that lo bhuti ka Shez is +... If u pps stil remember when he had a fight in his gig, he neva wanted Shez to help him clean himself.

summer
31 Mar 2011 15:04

MOKEMA please motivate us more

summer
31 Mar 2011 15:07

@zvee - yes mattew is hiv+. didnt you c that part wen he was in jail and he asked sam to get him arvs from the clinic

vinc
31 Mar 2011 15:13

LOL @ JAson being punched or elbowed by Nick, what is wrong with him. The other day he was kissing Dineo now its Nic, hhayi suka maan, he must be the one infected with HIV. 

Do you think its fair that Sam wants to tell Shaz that Matt is hiv, after all Shaz is his sister so it must come from Matt. i think Matt does not trust sistaz.

Dont mention about Queen, every one will know about it before the end of the day. I mean when she was telling Sbu that Matt broke her heart, iyho. I have heard people commenting about age difference but Matt looks like Queen's second born.

@ Gambu... you will be missed my darling

underwoman
31 Mar 2011 15:21

A prisoner escapes from his California prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it.

He finds a young couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed and while he gets on top of her, he kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he is in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. I saw the way he kissed your neck. If he wants intercourse, don't resist, just do what he tells you! This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very attractive, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too..."

underwoman
31 Mar 2011 15:21

A prisoner escapes from his California prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it.

He finds a young couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed and while he gets on top of her, he kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he is in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. I saw the way he kissed your neck. If he wants intercourse, don't resist, just do what he tells you! This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very attractive, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too..."

S.K
31 Mar 2011 15:25

Where are the jokes people, m bored in this office!!!!

VusiK
31 Mar 2011 15:28

@underwoman ... I Like .... But I know of a true situation in which the exact thing happened and the situation ended in divorce because the couple could not reconcile the man's masculine role in life because at some point of being hit from behind, he got hot, climaxed, and shot a load on the carpet. The wife could no longer recognize the man in the husband, and he could no longer recognize his manhood in the relationship ... happened in Virginia USA about 1990.

S.K
31 Mar 2011 15:36

Hahahahaha, now, that's what m talking about baby!!!! hahahaha
Be strong honey, i love u too!!!!!! LMAO

S.K
31 Mar 2011 15:51

VusiK, r u for real? Oh Lord!!!1

S.K
31 Mar 2011 16:35

Kodwa Taz, uhlekani? Its not funny, LMAO!!!!

Lobby the girl
31 Mar 2011 16:57

Afternoon Ma Bloggers a mahle, i know, i know,i missed u 2..i will log in kaosane nhe?This dog wont b here tomorrow..bye...

VusiK
31 Mar 2011 17:45

Honest ... it really happened in Va while I was staying there. My brother in law and me were like "WTF" and entered into a debate regarding what would happen if it happened to any of us ... shocking revelations that debate yielded. But Honest to God people ... It happened.

S.K
01 Apr 2011 07:42

Good morning peeps
@Lobby, ha o tsebe niks man! We missed u like craaaaaazy!!!!! How u doing gurl?

Jason waphapha and he deserves all the pain! LMAO

sexy d
01 Apr 2011 07:59

morning all

charmagal
01 Apr 2011 08:06

mrng mabloggerz...........................msd yesterday ' episode ............update plz

Snuca Babe
01 Apr 2011 09:13

Morning Guys

Mokema u r a blessing into my life Gal/Boy
Angazi ukuthy uyini

magerry
01 Apr 2011 09:23

Once, a Junior School teacher asked her students to bring some
potatoes
> in a
> plastic bag to school. Each potato will be given a name of the person
> whom
> that child hates. Like this, the number of potatoes will be equal to
the
> number of persons they hate.
> On a decided day, the children brought their potatoes well addressed.
> Some
> had two, some had three and some had even five potatoes. The teacher
> said
> they have to carry these potatoes with them everywhere they go for a
> week.
> As the days passed the children started to complain about the spoiled
> smell
> that started coming from these potatoes. Also some students who had
many
> potatoes complained that it was very heavy to carry them all around.
The
> children got rid of this assignment after a week, when it got over.
> The teacher asked, "How did you feel in this one week?" The children
> discussed their problems about the smell and weight. Then the teacher
> said,
> "This situation is very similar to what you carry in your heart when
you
> don't like some people. This hatred makes your heart unhealthy and you
> carry
> that hatred in your heart everywhere you go. If you can't bear the
smell
> of
> spoiled potatoes for a week, imagine the impact on your heart of this
> hatred
> that you carry throughout your life..."
>
>
> MORAL:
> * Our heart is a beautiful garden that needs a regular cleaning of
> unwanted
> weeds.
> * Forgive those who have not behaved with you as expected and forget
the
> bad
> things. This also makes room available for storing good things.
>
>
> HAVE A LOVELY POTATO-FREE WEEK!!

charmagal
01 Apr 2011 09:23

lol  @snuca babe.....Mokema u r a blessing into my life Gal/Boy 

hai wampolaya

S.K
01 Apr 2011 10:12

@charmagal
Jason felt that punch, he had a bruise under his eye and it looked horrible. He had ice on it and left a note for Nich that he's sorry for the previous night. At work when they asked him, Nich answered first and told them he was opening the chicken cupboard and Jason got a smack. Now Jason is sticking to that story now.

Lungile told Mashaba that Dineo is more fragile than he thinks and he must take care of her. I must admit, i dont like Lungile much but yesterday, there was something about him,or maybe its about what he said. Oh well.......

Dineo is going crazy, she broke things in the house incl Paul's typewriter. Mashaba came to her flat and found her on the floor, like a real crazy woman and told her they going home, she cant go on like that.

Mat went to see Shaz wih the hope that they will talk and Shaz never gave him a chance.

Sam did me proud, lol. He recalled his father's words "Uyisiyothoyotho sendoda" and then decided to go back to work. Guess where he left the lil Sammy? ..............No, not with Patricia but with the grandfather himself. Yes it's true. He went to 3Towers and left him there. When Shaz see him at work, she asked him where Sammy was and she was shocked to hear about Sammy's babysitter for the day.... LMAO

They went to fetch him later and the Chief wasn't so impressed. He told them he's leaving, tired of their mess. lol

What am i forgetting????????..........

Oh oh oh, how can i forget this one,,,,Jason was having drinks with Choppa le Mat. They asked him what happened to his eye, he told the same lie but they didnt buy it. he then told them he tried to kiss a straight guy. LMAO, Choppa killed me there. He was like "Ah jo, if a guy were to kiss me bra, i would punch him too" That was just like, an outburst!!!!

Cosi cosi yaphela!!!!!! ........End........

bomyy
01 Apr 2011 10:28

Yaze yamunandi indaba yakho S.K, siyabonga

goodm ornings people

S.K
01 Apr 2011 10:32

@bomyy, ngiyishaya kamnandi yabo? LOL, m bored and trying to forget about the shock i got for April fool this morning.

sexy d
01 Apr 2011 10:37

our kurt geiger who art in spitz, hallowed be thy cavella,thy lacoste come,thy will b worn in township, as it is in sandton, gve us versage our daily wear & 4 gve us for buyng pro action as we 4gve thse hu buy no nme, lead us nt into buyng fong kongs, bt deluver us 4rm pep, 4 thy is the levis, the diesel nd the nike, for eva nd eva blacklisted Amen..

sexy d
01 Apr 2011 10:37

our kurt geiger who art in spitz, hallowed be thy cavella,thy lacoste come,thy will b worn in township, as it is in sandton, gve us versage our daily wear & 4 gve us for buyng pro action as we 4gve thse hu buy no nme, lead us nt into buyng fong kongs, bt deluver us 4rm pep, 4 thy is the levis, the diesel nd the nike, for eva nd eva blacklisted Amen..

S.K
01 Apr 2011 10:39

AMEN......... LMAO!!!!!!!

bomyy
01 Apr 2011 10:47

lol wat did they do to you SK? poor thing... *impatient to hear the story*

bomyy
01 Apr 2011 10:48

Amen sext dee

S.K
01 Apr 2011 10:58

Eish this April fool thing is a bit of a problem to us who forget these things. My lil cousin (11yrs) called me crying this morning at 4a.m. She said she is at her boyfriends place and the guy wants him to do abortion as she is 3 months Preg!!!

That was 4 shocks in one situation.
1. The has a boyfriend
2. She sleeps over at his place
3.She is preggies
4.They wanna do abortin!!!!!!!

Its not on people, some of us are very fragile, m still shaking.

charmagal
01 Apr 2011 10:58

thnx a lot SK u r darling to be kissed.....lmao @ sexy D  for eva nd eva blacklisted Amen

magerry
01 Apr 2011 11:10

oh S.K i can not even start to imagine what you went through when you received that call. sori you had to go thruogh that but hey! on the brighter side be thankful that it was only an April fool's joke!

S.K
01 Apr 2011 11:13

@Magerry, i know but such a shock ? M not talking to her.

bomyy
01 Apr 2011 12:13

lol SK, askis girl, lol i can only imagine what you went through! lolest

Ai Sharon's breakdown was not what i was expecting, it was dissapointing

S.K
01 Apr 2011 12:39

Eish bomyy, that young lady owes me big time.

Talala
01 Apr 2011 13:16

Hi Mablogers 

Thanks SK for the update

I fill u SK gal I hate this April fool joke too maan 

@ Magarry very true hatred is so not healthy sometimes its hard to 4give but we have to

tlouphiri
01 Apr 2011 13:46

@sexy d, ur prayer is killing me, ur so ahhhhhhhhhhh

sexy d
01 Apr 2011 14:44

bye my lovies am out of this place have a super weekend till we blog again on monday....

magerry
01 Apr 2011 16:52

sexy d have a great weekend my dear  and everyone else have a lovely weekend too I love you all!

magerry
01 Apr 2011 16:52

sexy d have a great weekend my dear  and everyone else have a lovely weekend too I love you all!

sweetsourrose
02 Apr 2011 17:03

maybe if they put some new faces things wil be beta im tired of shazys mood cumon gal,i wish sam cud just find umakhwapheni 4 himself so that he can stop running afta shaz

Mokema
04 Apr 2011 07:42

A touching story on marriage... 

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said,
I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed
the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth But I had to let her know what I
was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry She threw away the chopsticks and
shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She
was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to
Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she
could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten
years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted
time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved
Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had
expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of
divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer
now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the
table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast
because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so
I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything
from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in
that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her
reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our
bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to
make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought
it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce,
she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms.
His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. 

She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance on her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this
woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There
were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its
toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning.
This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing
again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month
slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown
bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why
I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him,
seeing h

S.K
04 Apr 2011 07:44

Morning ma lovies
How was the weekend y'all? Is everybody at work and feeling all fresh? lol

swazzy
04 Apr 2011 08:14

Dejavu @ mokema..... Hey SK i ddnt go to work now feel bad!!!

sexy d
04 Apr 2011 08:34

morning morning morning

What a nice bright shining day gud peolpe enjoy your day today.

S.K
04 Apr 2011 09:06

Hawu Swazzy, y not? R u babalazed gal????

S.K
04 Apr 2011 09:11

Food for thought

Death came to a guy and said “my friend today is your day” and the guy
said “but I am not ready” and death said “well your next on my list”. 

So the guy told death that “ok why don't you take a seat and I will get you
something to eat before we go” and death said “alright then”. 

The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell asleep and the guy removed his name from top of the list to the
bottom of the list so when death woke up he said to the guy :
 "Ok I will start from the bottom of the list cause you have been so nice to me”:


Talala
04 Apr 2011 09:24

Hi lovely bloggers

Hope you enjoyed ur weekend guys as for me i did'nt I was not feeling well and im not feeling well but i hope i'll be fine 

charmagal
04 Apr 2011 09:25

haha @sk

Mrng lvng ppl

swazzy
04 Apr 2011 09:30

SK I am but i dnt drink.... im exhausted! wish i can resign n get myslf a rich husband... nway that death story jo it makes one think we will neva b ready for death bt need to prepare ourslf fo it in a spiritual sense make sho we go to heaven u knw.. things we do n have a connection with the Almighty.. ey let me stop before ngivukwe umoya ,, bt tnks fo dat!!

Mokema
04 Apr 2011 09:44

@SK wa ntshosa

OlothandoD
04 Apr 2011 09:46

Salibonani bantu abahle, 

I had been away for some time but am back, I had been reading all the comments and laughed a lot at all the jokes that you posted.

Anyway enjoy blogging.

Love you all

Talala
04 Apr 2011 09:49

Hi Makitso we are waiting for iMonday World buti pls 

S.K
04 Apr 2011 09:52

@swazzy, it made me realise one thing infact , U CAN NEVER CHEAT DEATH!!!!
Thats the scariest part for me

Condomm
04 Apr 2011 10:06

@SK I would delete my name permanently. LOL!

skura
04 Apr 2011 10:07

An update on Friday's episode??? Please!!!

S.K
04 Apr 2011 10:21

@condomm, LMAO!!! What if this man called DEATH was looking for your name to erase it and put it somewhere in the middle or bottom and wanted to start on top???

TUMI326
04 Apr 2011 11:11

Guys 2 be honest generations is starting to bore me I HAVE JST VIEWD DA MUVHANGO TEASERS AND IT IS BEGINING 2 INTEREST ME MORE THAN GeNeRaTiOnS

skura
04 Apr 2011 11:25

An update on Friday's episode??? Please!!! Please!!! Please!!! Please!!!

S.K
04 Apr 2011 11:37

@skura, i didnt watch mina my love. I would have updated u a long time ago. I was busy drinking

Snuca Babe
04 Apr 2011 12:43

Hey  Guys

Angisanazi but ke i have been busy

Ohh and anada thing Today im officaly 22 years old

Lol xcited

S.K
04 Apr 2011 13:02

Oh yey!!!
Happy birthday gurl. 
Your cake is on the way ne. U at Umhlanga right?

nzuzo
04 Apr 2011 13:18

Happy Birthday Snuca  Babe, Enjoy yr day. Ukhule ungakhokhobi.............

skura
04 Apr 2011 13:38

@S.K ohk thanks!!!

6444
04 Apr 2011 13:49

hello!!!!!! ah generations so boring, ke itsapa le gone go bala, anyway i wl try mayb i wl catch sumthin

Teady
04 Apr 2011 14:03

happy birthday Snuca Babe! let's go play Snuca

Vandimerwe
04 Apr 2011 14:05

Hapi Bef Dai Snuca

TUMI326
04 Apr 2011 14:19

happy birthday snuca ;)

charmagal
04 Apr 2011 14:37

wow, congrates hppy happy born day snuca  bt in 8mnths tym i wl be officially 22 as well

sexy d
04 Apr 2011 14:53

hapi hapi hapi born day snuca..

sexy d
04 Apr 2011 14:54

hapi hapi hapi born day snuca..

skura
04 Apr 2011 16:41

hapy born day snuca

soapieees
04 Apr 2011 21:44

good jokes around here  S.K, Mokema lol  u rockkk guys

Thethe
05 Apr 2011 07:47

When I was younger I hated going to weddings... it seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped that *bleep!* after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

S.K
05 Apr 2011 08:03

Hhehehe, i would stop too. Death isn't anyone's friend. lol
Morning people.

U know Generation people are so dumb, how can they not think that Dineo is at Kenny's place? I mean seriously now. Please!!!!

Vandimerwe
05 Apr 2011 08:23

ijooo Thethe le nna i wil definitely stop............death 

sexy d
05 Apr 2011 08:47

morning all

wats up ka jason le nicholas n y was jason angry sori guys to ask lately i do watch but dnt understand or remember it jst bore me to death but keep watching to entertain my eyes.

@Thethe ijoo lenna i would definately stop.

charmagal
05 Apr 2011 09:06

@sexy D i think jason was angry cos Nicholus slpt out..........lol

Hau guys am also a city gal like shaz bt i knw ukuthi u cn nt stnd in frnt of yo inlaws/elders whl ey r eatn and the way she was runnin i thot she was gona end up breakn plates ..........bt anywer its gd the cheif loved her stew

Sam usile he thot shaz was gona embarrass him once again n decided to go to tsalanang.

S.K
05 Apr 2011 09:26

Application form

Personal Info

Name         : Sexy d   A.K.A Charmagal
Surname   : Vandimerwe
ID no          : 800101 0101 011
DOB           : 1980 01 01
Sex             : Virgin, no experience but m a fast learner
Race          : Will do my best
Adress       : No, i dont wear a dress

Work info
Salary expected........ :Obvious
Currently employed.....: Duh..NO!!!!

cnazo
05 Apr 2011 09:54

Morning guys Lmao @SK sex fast leaner lol , it *sucks* blogging with a fone hey.but ndizothini I don't have option..I always read your comments guys and I'm ejoying every moment of it. At least Shaz cooked well for ,if I was jason ngendimkhuphe kudala u nich in my flat

charmagal
05 Apr 2011 10:14

LOL @sk
Sex : Virgin, no experience but m a fast learner
Race : Will do my best
Adress : No, i dont wear a dress 
hai wampolaya

Thethe
05 Apr 2011 10:37

A lawyer, an economist, and a teacher were going to the bathroom. The lawyer gets done, washes his hands, and then proceeds to use almost the entire roll of paper towels to dry his hands. He says "I was taught to be thorough." The economist gets done, washes his hands, but uses only one paper towel. He says "I was taught to be environmentally friendly." The teacher gets done and leaves without washing his hands. He says "I was taught not to piss on my hands."

S.K
05 Apr 2011 10:39

LMAO, u mean teachers are dumb?? Classic!! tltlltltl

charmagal
05 Apr 2011 10:48

haha @thathe      --hai the techer was taught

Thethe
05 Apr 2011 10:54

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt a button fell off.
After that, I picked up my briefcase and the handle fell off.
Then I went to open the door and the doorknob fell off.
I went to get into my car and the door handle came off in my hand.
Now I'm afraid to pee....

ntoko
05 Apr 2011 11:02

Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two
best friends, Cooter and Gomer.  The three men had always done everything together.  Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, 
Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him
over.' 
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, ain't Stanley.'
The mortician thought this was rather strange.  
So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body.
Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.'   The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Stanley' 
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
Gomer said, 'Well, Stanley had two assholes.' 
'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say: 
'There's Stanley with the two assholes.'

Thethe
05 Apr 2011 11:03

One farmer decided to change the old cock and bring in a young one that
would take care of the many hens

When the young cock arrived, and upon realising that he would lose his
job
and maybe end up a dinner, the old cock approached the young one and
said:
"Look, I know I'm old and that's the reason why our owner brought you
here. But can you leave two hens for me?"

"What's that old cock! I'm going to keep all of them," said the young
one.

"Just two," insisted the old cock.

"I've told you. They're all mine!" he replied.
"Alright then! Let's do this," says the old cock, "we bet on a race
around
the poultry house. If I win, I'll keep two hens. If I lose, all hens
are yours."

The young cock sizes up the old one and thinks that an old and ailing
bird cannot win.

"Ok old cock, I agree," he says.

The old cock looks at him and says: "Since my chances of winning are
very small, let me have 5 metres advantage," he asked.

The young cock does not even think twice about the offer and agrees to
the old cock's conditions. The race starts and the young cock shoots in
chase of the old one. The old cock makes a tremendous effort to keep
advantage, but is quickly losing ground.

The farmer sees the scene and takes his pellet-gun and shoots at the
young
cock. After killing him, he turns and says to his wife: "I don't
understand! This is the fifth gay cock we buy this week. These gay birds
have stopped chasing the hens and are now chasing an old cock, can you
believe it?"

Moral of the story: *Nothing beats experience*

charmagal
05 Apr 2011 11:13

aag Clevacock,,  @thethe lolest
@ntoko the guys were so show that the dead body wsnt their frnd were as they were the assholes

Thethe
05 Apr 2011 11:40

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, “How do you determine whether a patient should be institutionalized?” “Well, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.” Said the director.
“Oh, I understand, a normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup”.
“No.” said the Director., “ A normal person would pull the plug……. Do you want a bed near the window?.”

S.K
05 Apr 2011 12:03

Heheheheeh, LMAO, tltltlttltltl @Ntoko, hahahahaa
Two assholes ke wena!!!!! setlaela bo pedi ba rona!!!

Thethe
05 Apr 2011 12:11

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."

OlothandoD
05 Apr 2011 12:14

@ntoko, those two bustards are the two assholes that they could not find on Stanley, kikikikikikikiki

Thethe
05 Apr 2011 12:23

Man: "God, why you make woman so beautiful?"
God: "So you would love her."
Man: "But God, why you make her so dumb?"
God: "So she would love you!"

charmagal
05 Apr 2011 12:34

hai thethe yibambe kanjalo

maud
05 Apr 2011 13:11

hooo  the assholes zona

sheika
05 Apr 2011 14:07

ha ha ha ha!!wena thethe ole claonara!sex as a pet's name!o confuser bo pastor ebile u chased frm church!!ur luv 4 sex ws way 2much lol.ya go hlantsha ne!!

Thethe
05 Apr 2011 14:14

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old times sake. He finds a little prostitute and goes up into the room with her, draping his sailor suit across the bed.

He's goin' at it as best he can for a guy his age and asks, "How am I doin'?"

The whore says, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots."

What's that?" he asks.

She says, "You're 'knot' hard, you're 'knot' in, and you're 'knot' getting your money back!"

sheika
05 Apr 2011 14:18

guys i hate Nic!!he 4eva annoys pple. n dnt rily undastand hs purpose mo gen.nw dt Kenny's leavin gen yago bora bigtym cos he's 1 of  da bst actors in da soapie!!

Vandimerwe
05 Apr 2011 14:19

@SK sex fast leaner.................... hei 

Thethe
05 Apr 2011 14:23

A couple goes on a vacation to a fishing resort in Northern Alberta. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "isn't that obvious?"). "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day Ma'am," and he left...

MORAL OF THE STORY :
Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can think also.

Trublu
05 Apr 2011 14:49

Hahahahaha Thethe

Trublu
05 Apr 2011 14:51

Death came to a guy and said my friend today is your day and the guy
said but I am not ready and death said well your next on my list. So the
guy told death that ok why don't you take a sit and I will get you
something to eat before we go and death said alright then. The guy gave
death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and
fell asleep and the guy removed his name from top of the list to the
bottom of the list so when death woke up he said to the guy I will start
from the bottom of the list cause you have been so nice to me

Vandimerwe
05 Apr 2011 14:59

kwa

OlothandoD
05 Apr 2011 15:29

@trublu, kwakwakwa, The guy thot he would cheat death, he was so stupid he should have just poured acid on him or gave him poison to drink!

charmagal
05 Apr 2011 15:49

RUSSIA:- we are the first to go to space
USA:- we are the first to land on the moon 
Zuma:- we will be the first to land on the sun
USA:- the sun is too hot, you can not land on it 
Malema:- we are not stoopied, we will go at night.

charmagal
05 Apr 2011 15:50

It was on a Sunday when Mama Dlamini saw Mr Dlamini sitting queitly in the garden. She got concerned & decided to ask him. "Haaibo Baba...why are you sitting so quiet in the garden? What is it that is bothering you? Mr Dlamini replied "I'm still thinking about what the priest said. It doesn't make me comfortable". "What is it" asked Mama Dlamini. "The priest said he slept with all married & single women in the church but ONLY ONE woman doesn't want to sleep with him" said Mr Dlamini. Mama Dlamini replied "It must be Mrs Ndlovu. She thinks she is better than everyone" Mr Dlamini fainted

Vandimerwe
05 Apr 2011 16:02

Charmagal i hav fainted too..................aoo mama dlamini

sheika
05 Apr 2011 16:30

Ha ha ha ha ha!!Thethe gao utlwi tlhe...thanx 4 makin me laugh lol...

S.K
05 Apr 2011 16:38

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day Ma'am," and he left... 

Brilliant!!!!!! kwakwakwakwakwakwa

Thethe
06 Apr 2011 08:11

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck."

sexy d
06 Apr 2011 09:04

morning all

@Thethe lol nka mo kgama go a slippe back to coma...
@S.K Sex am a fast learner, salary expected obvious kwwwaaaaa kwwwaaaa

S.K
06 Apr 2011 09:11

Morning guys.
I love u all

bezu
06 Apr 2011 09:30

mornign guys!! you are killing me with ur jokes!!kwakwakkwaaaaaaaa

OlothandoD
06 Apr 2011 09:34

Morning good people

Drama in court

Judge to prostitute: - 'So when did you realize you were raped?'

Prostitute, wiping away tears: - 'When the cheque bounced

S.K
06 Apr 2011 09:42

M sure that was a BLONDE PROSTITUTE

S.K
06 Apr 2011 09:43


A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

charmagal
06 Apr 2011 09:46

mrng guys lolest @thethe i wld kill him...

i thnk i like shaz these days bt am afraid shes gona disappoint the chief on umqomboti

Vandimerwe
06 Apr 2011 10:16

ijooo Thethe i wil just switch off the machine

Thethe
06 Apr 2011 10:35

A little boy asked his mother:
- Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
- Don't even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you're lucky you don’t bark.

Thethe
06 Apr 2011 10:49

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

magerry
06 Apr 2011 11:17

@ Thethe lolest I am sure there poor man was so livid with fear and could not even think straight.

A dog asked a cat: why do you guys hide when you're doing it,
The cat replied: that's because we don't want humans to copy our "style".
They've already copied yours.

charmagal
06 Apr 2011 11:17

hai thethe lolest@No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

Thethe
06 Apr 2011 11:19

An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language.

He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she". One of the students raised their hand and asked - "What gender is a computer"?

The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They're supposed to help solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it

Thethe
06 Apr 2011 11:26

@magerry hahhahahhahhahahaahha, so "dog style", hahahahaahaahaha

Thethe
06 Apr 2011 11:31

The Top 5 Men in a Woman's life are:

1. Doctor.
2. Dentist
3. Coal man.
4. Decorator.
5. Bank manager.

A Doctor says to take off your clothes.
A Dentist says open wide.
A Coal man asks "where do you want it, front or back?"
A Decorator says "how do you like it now that it's up?"
A Bank manager says "don't take it out you'll lose interest"!

S.K
06 Apr 2011 11:36

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They're supposed to help solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 


H
ahahahahahahahaha *dead* So true

S.K
06 Apr 2011 11:40

Thethe, ay man!!! LMAO!!!!!!!

Snuca Babe
06 Apr 2011 12:46

Thethe

u da man woman.....

qaqamba
06 Apr 2011 15:52

Hi all 

Guyz kuthwa Sbusiso said  somthing wrong or read the script wrong to Dineo,smthing  to do with her leave?????? ...kuthwa he said it wrong(script writers) did u guyz hear tht????

hayi mna zange ndive nicks, ukhona onolwazi???????or heard him??????

S.K
06 Apr 2011 15:59

He said Dineo must take some extended leave or something.
It did sound very unfamiliar i must say. lol

qaqamba
06 Apr 2011 16:16

@S.K.i wasnt paying to much attention to Gen last night, aysh, but i love Sbuda  lets hope ppl are just exaggarating .

S.K
06 Apr 2011 16:33

Impela he did say something that is unusual about leave.
If i still remember, i will catch the Omnibus.

S.K
07 Apr 2011 07:49

Hey mabloggers
How u doing there?

charmagal
07 Apr 2011 08:11

hey SK looks lyk its me n u in da house ,hud

S.K
07 Apr 2011 08:19

Lets keep it warm for the other bloggers till they arrive!!!! 

A blind man walks into a dinner and sits down at a booth. The Waiter walks up to his table.

"What can I get you today?" says the Waiter.

"I have a kind of strange request." says the blind man.

"What’s that?" says the Waiter.

"Can I have the unwashed fork of the person you waited on before me?" says the blind man.

The waiter thinks for a minute.

"Um ok" says the waiter.

The Waiter brings the blind man the fork and the blind man slips it into his mouth. He sucks on it for a short time.

"The meat loaf and mash potatoes are delicious I’ll have that" says the blind man.

The waiter is grossed out but also impressed he was right about the dish. The blind man eats tips very well and leaves. The blind man comes back the next two days in a row with the same request and both times he was correct about the dish of the person before him. The next day when he arrives the Waiter notices him walking in.

"Jenny, Jenny" the Waiter says flagging down a Waitress he works with.

"This time I wanna have some fun with this fun. Here put this into your panties." He says as he hands Jenny a fork. Jenny giggles and does as he asked. He walks but to the table with the fork in hand ready for the blind mans daily request. The blind man as always asks for the fork of the person waited on before him. The Waiter hands him the fork fighting his laughter. The blind man pops in into his mouth.

"hmmmmm." says the blind man sucking the fork for a short time

"I had no idea Jenny worked here!"

Miss Rue
07 Apr 2011 08:26

hey guys i am new. hev been visiting this site for months now just thot i would join in the fun.................

sopie lover
07 Apr 2011 08:44

Hw r my bloggers, it been a while, 4mnths away but m back now hope m stil welcomed in the house i missed u so much my family friends

ntoko
07 Apr 2011 08:54

welcome miss Rue

TR M
07 Apr 2011 09:14

This is so cool better than facebook n tweeter, i love this blog....Hala 2 u y'll. But s fo generation is so boring this month nothing interesting. Hav a bleased day all

Akia
07 Apr 2011 09:23

@SK He said Dineo must take extended absence of leave nami ngikuzwe kusounder strange nje ngijwayeele u leave of absence

ntoko
07 Apr 2011 09:28

I dnt watch Generations ke kopa thwarero but i am still the member of this blog.

Thethe
07 Apr 2011 09:57

Great News
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said, "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."

"I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us," she replied.

Thethe
07 Apr 2011 10:02

That`s What Friends Are For
When it comes to friendship, here's what happens.

If a woman doesn't come home to her husband one night, and the next day she tells him she slept over at a friend's house, the man calls his wife's 10 best friends and none of them know anything about it.

If a man doesn't come home to his wife one night, and the next day he tells her he slept over at a friend's house, she calls her husband's 10 best friends-eight of them say he did sleep over, and two claim he's still there.

S.K
07 Apr 2011 10:27

Welcome to the new face, Miss Rue
@TR M
, this is the best place to be, u are welcome in this house. 
@Ntoko, i disown u for not being part of this family......or o shapa vat 'n sit le Condomm????
@Akia,
that was very strange indeed gal. Nc nc nc nc, i wonder!!!!!!

OlothandoD
07 Apr 2011 10:41

@Thethe, lol, the husband must have fainted!

Teady
07 Apr 2011 14:15

she calls her husband's 10 best friends-eight of them say he did sleep over, and two claim he's still there
lol Thethe i couldn't continue with my silent blogging anymore after that joke.
so man are liers!!!! yo!

Thethe
07 Apr 2011 15:07

Funeral Service
A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away.

At the end of the service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually still alive.

She lives for ten more years and then dies.

A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the end of the ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying outthe casket.

As they are walking, the husband cries out, "WATCH OUT FOR THAT WALL!"

charmagal
07 Apr 2011 15:23

lol theteh the husband was fed up wth his wife

chiwanza
07 Apr 2011 15:42

i agree with charmagal

S.K
07 Apr 2011 15:49

hahahahaha, poor man. He doesnt want her to wake up AGAIN!!!!! tltltltltl

Judge Dread
07 Apr 2011 16:37

A man opens his car's door for his wife if either the car is new or the wife is new!

Judge Dread
07 Apr 2011 16:46

A Policeman with a sniffer dog has just come up to me and said: " My Dog tells me you're on drugs."

"Me?" I said, "You're the one with the *bleep!* talking dog!"

Judge Dread
07 Apr 2011 16:51

3 Ways To Catch A Tiger

1- Newtons Method
Allow The Tiger To Catch U & Catch The Tiger

2- Einsteins Method
Chase The Tiger Until It Becomes Tired n
Then Catch It.

3- The Police Method
Catch A Cat & Beat It
Until It Accepts Its A Tiger.

kid1
07 Apr 2011 17:25

wer are uLapam? seriously i miss u. stay blessed

Judge Dread
08 Apr 2011 00:10

Good act today. I like the Old Man, the Chief. Great stuff. Shaz, drop the frowning of the face and good act Kenny! Generations is a lot better though these days.

S.K
08 Apr 2011 07:31

Morning guys
I didnt watch the soapie yesterday... Anyone for an update?

OlothandoD
08 Apr 2011 08:11

morning people, 

I also didnt manage to watch Gens last nyt, an update will be appreciated.

Love y'all

charmagal
08 Apr 2011 08:44

mrng ppl misd gen last nyt as well ...........an update will be appreciated.

OlothandoD
08 Apr 2011 08:59

Couple agreed that when ever they want to make love they will say let's make a phone call so that their 5 year old son would not suspect anything.

One day the man sent his son to tell mum while she was busy in the kitchen...

SON : mum, Dad is asking you to come so he can make a phone call...

MUM : go tel Dad am out of coverage area...

DAD : go tell your mum that if she can't come I will make the call elsewhere...

MUM : go tel your dad if he does that,I will open a Fone shop in this house...

S.K
08 Apr 2011 09:27

Thanks Taz, we owe u.
Cant wait for the new look, That hairstyle of hers was long overdue!!!
Phakeme is such  monkey!!!!

OlothandoD
08 Apr 2011 09:34

Thanks Taz

MsKim
08 Apr 2011 10:26

surprise surprise.....Yep Samuel has a back bone after-all.

Thethe
08 Apr 2011 10:50

A Real Lady
A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one on the other's behavior.
When his wife returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then casually asked her about the specific behavior of the passenger he knew to be his mistress. "She slept with nearly every man on the ship," his wife reported.
The disheartened man then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to ask her the same questions about his wife.
"She was a real lady," his mistress said.
"How so?" the encouraged man asked.
"She came on board with her husband and never left his side."

Kazika
08 Apr 2011 10:54

i ve seen how my mom and gtandma make umqombothi. what i saw last night is more like amageu than umqombothi.

Vandimerwe
08 Apr 2011 10:58

Generations is a lot better though these days. yahhhh with the mahlabathinis around its not bad at all

Snuca Babe
08 Apr 2011 11:01

Sanibonani bo maslavithy

chiwanza
08 Apr 2011 11:02

thnkx so much taz oh poor kenny

Mokema
08 Apr 2011 11:05

Babalaas

One day there was this guy wa go phela a tla gae a le blackout so every time ge a tsoga mosadi o tsamaile.
Ge a tsoga o laela ngwana gore ge mmago a bowa o mmotse gore ke ile go ntsha babalaasssss.
So the guy ge a bowa gontsha babalaasss a robala mo sofeng a sa zipa borokgo.
So die ding e be e tswetse ko ntle, so ngwana a e bona.
Mosadi ge a bowa a botsisa ngwana gore “Papago o kae?”
Ngwana a araba a re,
“Ke ole o robetse mo sofeng o ntshitse babalaas”.

sopie lover
08 Apr 2011 11:09

about what MsKim?

sexy d
08 Apr 2011 11:13

@Mokema lol

S.K
08 Apr 2011 11:22

Hhehehehehe, The Real Lady!!!!!!!! Was actually the worst!!!!!

ntoko
08 Apr 2011 11:33

In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.

The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.
They tested him.
They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said,
"It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."


"That's correct", said the boss.

Another glass.
"It's red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrels."


"Correct."

The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary to suggest something.

She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.

"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the work office. And if you don't give me the job, I'll also tell who's the father!"

"The boss collapsed.

Mokema
08 Apr 2011 11:43

Be careful ,Speed Kills


10km/h Wa ntaela moya, o re ke tsamaye
20km/h sedi laka mponesetse tsela
40km/h Tsela e thata jwang
60km/h Lona ba ratang ho phela
80km/h ya itshepelang Modimo
100km/h Haufi le Morena
120km/h Tsietsi tsa Letsoalo
140km/h Ntate ha ke sa sepela
160km/h legae la ka ha le yo mo lefatsheng
180km/h bodibeng bja mahlomola
200km/h Re bafeti mo lefatsheng
220km/h Ruri le nkgapile pelo
240km/h Jonna ke letsatsi le bohloko -Sona Maru o sa hlaha

260km/h Ke tla ke le feela feela (this world is not my home)


280km/h Ke be jwalo ka koloi ya eliyah e fofang... etswa mollo ka
Exhaust (lord I'm coming home)


S.K
08 Apr 2011 11:48

kwakwakwakwakwa NTOKO, hehehehe. The boss and the secretar. It will never stop ne!!!!1

Vandimerwe
08 Apr 2011 12:03

kwaaaaaaaaaaa heiii Ntoko u killed me

sexy d
08 Apr 2011 12:09

@Ntoko kwwaaaa kwwwaaa they should give him before he spills the beans.

MsKim
08 Apr 2011 12:19

@soapy lover: Samuel standing up for his beliefs n telling Shez "i'm your husband n i say the ceremony is off.

vuxy
08 Apr 2011 12:55

Thethe
08 Apr 2011 15:44

There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "if I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen". This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.
About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."
The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, Your wife fell three times this week."

kid1
08 Apr 2011 16:02

ohhhhhhhh sam wearing th pants yah. denie i cant wait to see ur new hair style mama en ur wardrobe needs mabena.

charmagal
08 Apr 2011 16:07

wow, a gd ending of a day  thethe , i was jus wonderin ukuthi wer u vandag

Sdudlafabulous
08 Apr 2011 18:43

Guys, its my first tym blogging here . I lv reading ur comments, bt i dnt lyk generations anymre coz senzo nd jas r no lngr 2geda. Jst hpe dt ds mnth z interesting, glad lungile z bk atleast sowasha amehlo wth sumthy yummo

babybabes
10 Apr 2011 15:14

I rarely blog but im always reading ur comments and jokes di a tshisa man. Keep it up guys, u always make my day. Keep those jokes rolling. Love u all.

swazzy
11 Apr 2011 05:37

What a disappointment Dinies hairstyle hayi kanti is mfundi broke.. after having that hairstyle for a year they decide to add a piece to it nje and doesnt look nice.. make over lol

S.K
11 Apr 2011 07:56

OMG, Dinny's hairdo? WTF?????
Was that the extention of the old hairstyle!! Sies man. She was dressed up nicely though, just the hair really messed the whole thing up.

@Thethe, ay man usile!!!!!
Shame poor Mayor, tltltltltlt

Mokema
11 Apr 2011 08:42

My head didn't turn @ al, my straight back is even better than that.

As for Lungile he is after Dinywhore's butt.

Sloe
11 Apr 2011 08:44

Hi guys. Im a new member and you guys kill me with your jokes. About dinny i went to do my hair recently and a customer came and said she wants to do idineo. Its a nice style though just that we ar tired to see it from jan to dec from 1 person. I wonder when is ukhethi going for hers

sexy d
11 Apr 2011 08:50

morning all

@swazzy & S.K i thought i was seeing things kante ke bone tsone no no no man dinny change that thing its long overdue
@Mokema lenna my it didnt turm my head not even 4 a second

Umqombothi wa shaz le choppa lol that dagga really gave it a kick. they were dancing and laughing like a real family should do.

S.K
11 Apr 2011 08:52

As for Lungile he is after Dinywhore's butt......  And he's gonna get some.

Vandimerwe
11 Apr 2011 09:01

i stil say generations with the chief around its better....................

Snuca Babe
11 Apr 2011 09:21

Hey Guys

How are you this morning
Ey mina angisayibuki nje i generations ingimoshela isikhathy

ntoko
11 Apr 2011 09:58

Goodmorning lovely bloggers , just came to say i love you all i would like to welcome home all the new members in the house make urselves at home as long as you'll behave u will enjoy your stay,never mind our ups and downs,never mind Bra Mfundi he's not broke but confussed the competition is too high in terms of soapy industry

Thethe
11 Apr 2011 10:23

Rising Phone Bills
After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication.

When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use email.

Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents!

S.K
11 Apr 2011 10:23

Women Are Evil By Nature


A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her
Hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes.. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her
Forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth

And allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered,
"There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."



sexy d
11 Apr 2011 10:31

@S.K kwakwakwakwakwa he used the bartender as a toilet paper, hand soap shame i would have fainted  if i was the bartender..

S.K
11 Apr 2011 10:35

LMAO, its disgusting!!! Eeeeuuuwwww!!!!!!!

charmagal
11 Apr 2011 10:42

jerrrrrr

kid1
11 Apr 2011 11:33

This job application comes all the way from zambia in eastern provice

Enjoy mabloggers

Subject: Technical Manager at your company

Dear Sir

I am Ngoni by tribe and I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company and wish to apply for the replacement of the dead
manager.

Each time I apply for employment I am told there is no vacancy but on this one, I have caught you red handed coz I even attended the funeral and all burial proceedings and made sure that he was truly dead before applying. I can remember you saying on the funeral that he will be very difficult to replace, meaning there is no one at the moment. Well it's your lucky day sir; you already have found the best man for the job so look no more.

It is sad but strategic though, that he has left us, at least now I stand to benefit as he has left a vacancy for me. For that I shall forever be grateful for his timely death. He too always spoke of early retirement and I guess this serves him well too. A deal that benefits all should be the substance of a fine businessman. Ironic, yes but death is truly very fair. Just imagine, the company no longer has to pay his retirement funds.

The company will not have to worry about paying me a relocation allowance because he was my neighbour and it will be easy for me simply jump over the Dura wall into that beautiful big company house. I also took it into my hands to quickly buy a drivers' license as I am sure the Toyota 4x4 will also be handed over to me. And sir don't even try to cheat me on this one because I even know the mileage reading on that beautiful machine. This just goes on to prove that I am a determined self starter who is attentive to detail. Amiable qualities that speak for themselves.

I am sure that after reading this, there won't be any need for a CV, just verification if I am up for the challenge. For that sir, I will be sending my pictures taken whilst attending the funeral and burial so that you can see how tough I was and can be when employed. As for my referees, well the same dead manager was my referee so we can safely skip that part.

I only hope there will be no corruption as we are all still mourning. Thanks for advertising the funeral because I could not have known.

Yours ever smile even in tough times.

Toughman Wampavu Mwamuna Ngayongayo.

Village: Mutenguleni
District: Chipata
Alternative address: Usually found standing at the railway crossing junction
Chief: Mpezeni

S.K
11 Apr 2011 11:50

@Kid1......

*DEAD DEAD DEAD*

ntoko
11 Apr 2011 12:10

lolled untill fell frm my chair

OlothandoD
11 Apr 2011 12:12

Morning to y'all

@Kid1,
the dude is serious, replacement of the dead manager.

@Snuca baby, at least we are two, nami iGens is now a waste of time, am just around blogging for the jokes.

skura
11 Apr 2011 12:16

hahahahahahahaaaa now thats funny!!!! thanks kid1

Snuca Babe
11 Apr 2011 12:17

AGGGHHHHHHHHHH SK
HHey wena i havent taken my lunch yet
and ngisafuna ukudla njalo

Vandimerwe
11 Apr 2011 12:22

kwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakw...........................Kid1.. ........sometimes after looking for a job and u couldnt find i think its better u just apply like this

MsKim
11 Apr 2011 12:23

A WEAPON CALLED SILENCE


It takes a hell of a woman to do something like this....
A weapon called silence
Ladies please let's all be honest can we really do what this
woman
Did???


Mildred Ngesa


It's a sad world out there imagine when this happens to you....
Have you ever thought of what you would do if you found your
Husband/fianc?/boyfriend, red-handed cheating on you?

Worse still, in your own bedroom? Have you ever thought of what
would happen?

These things aren't only read on papers, they are real.
They happen to real Women.
Answer this question to yourself sincerely. Would you go for
that kitchen knife, pack your stuff, or hire those thugs that do
justice to other men. You might be surprised at how you react to
this.........

Read on

Gals...

A weapon called silence by Mildred Ngesa

I felt it the moment I turned the knob.
The door was unlocked, but that was not unusual especially
because his car was in the parking bay, where it usually parked,
when he's at home.
What I felt was a knot forming in the pit of my stomach - the
kind of feeling you get When you hear movements in the house when
you know you are alone in the small hours of the night.

Every second Friday of the month, I travel to Kampala to collect
Fabric for my vintage business in the city. On this particular Friday,
I left home at dusk as usual, heading for the city centre to
catch the 8 pm Akamba bus bound for Kampala.
We waited for three hours and then it was announced that the
buses had been cancelled due to a technical hitch.
With nothing else to do in town, I went back home. The lights
downstairs were on and so was the music. The English Premier League
Was showing on TV, so why wasn't my husband, a die-hard Arsenal
fan, watching the game?

Sometimes a woman's instincts can be so sharp that she can smell
last year's perfume on the shirt of her philandering man. My
instincts were on edge.
Even though there was no actual perfume in the air. In fact,
there was nothing really that I could put my finger on.
Just this odour of violation that ripped my senses like nothing
I had ever felt before.

Perhaps this feeling is what kept me from calling out to my
husband. And it stayed with me even as I tip-toed upstairs, heading for the
master bedroom. Nothing prepares you for anything like this. They had
not even bothered to shut the door. I simply walked in and there they
were, my husband and this woman, naked save for my purple flowered
bed-sheets partly covering their entwined bodies.

It took me a moment to realize the high-pitched cry that cut
through the night was coming from me.
The bewildered pair scrambled to cover their nakedness and
stared at me blankly. They said nothing.
My heart was beating so loud I could almost hear its echo in the
next room.
Trust is a fragile emotion. Like glass breaking, it can be
shattered in an instant, never to be wholly recovered again.

In that instant, my trust for this man was lost.
"Why don't I go downstairs and make you some tea?"

Did I just say that? I had just walked in on my husband and
another woman, and all I could do was offer them some tea!

I slowly made my way back downstairs.
In the kitchen, I switched to auto-pilot, fetching a packet of
milk from the fridge, lighting the cooker, placing a pan of water on to
boil, bending to remove mugs and the Flask. All the while,
my mind was abuzz, humming a tune I did not recognize.

This must be how zombies feel. It went on and on; the tune
seemed to imply that I ought to be in control, that I ought to keep
breathing so that I may stay sane.
The tea was ready and placed on the table. Three bright blue
mugs sat neatly on light blue place mats. I waited for the "guests" to
comedown as I sat motionless, staring sightlessly at the television.
They came down my husband first, dragging his feet like a prisoner
Counting his final steps to the gallows.

He sat on the love seat - the two-seater on which he had cuddled
and Kissed me passionately just the night before to the furthest
corner of the room, near the door, a safe distance from me.


I began talking as I poured tea into the cups. I rattled on and
on about the transport crisis and the difficulties of travelling at a
time like This. But instead of reaching for a cup, the woman stood up
abruptly and Headed for the door. For a brief moment, our eyes

MsKim
11 Apr 2011 12:26

She was
not young. In fact, she Appeared quite mature, maybe even married. I heard the gate
open. My husband was still rooted to the spot.


"Why don't you see your visitor off?" I prodded gently. He
didn't move. I sighed and started talking about the African Cup of Nations
Championship and how sad it was that Kenya had lost to Burkina Faso.

When he did not respond, I yawned loudly, said goodnight and
went to Bed. Sleep evaded me like the mosquitoes that buzz throughout
the Night.
My husband did not come to bed with me - he opted for the couch.
By the break of dawn I had painted my mind red with all sorts of
Possible revenge, thinking Of the ultimate pain to inflict on him for the anguish he has
caused me.
But my heart grew haggard on the prospect of a physical
confrontation.
I was going to fight this war my own way and at my own pace.

Last night marked the beginning of a cold war, not
confrontation. I have Heard of, and even seen, women go after
"the other woman" with a panga.
But my reasoning was, this woman was not the only player here.
My Husband probably seduced her. Other women go so far as to attack
their husbands, but then again, I thought: If a man is fed up with me,
he will Let me know. If he wants to have an affair, that is his
business.

Strange, I know, but silence was my weapon - and a very vicious
weapon It was. As far as I was concerned, that was the end of it.
I went about my business as usual and did not say or do anything
that Would suggest it had actually happened

Two weeks later, I was waking up and was surprised to find my husband sitting at
the foot of the bed, Sobbing deeply.
"I am sorry... so sorry. Please forgive me, please, just say
something, Dont shut me out, just say something..." I looked at him calmly,
my Heart frozen. My face showed feigned surprise and innocence.
"What are you talking about?


Sorry for what?" He sobbed even louder, sinking to his knees,
his head buried in his hands. "Say something... shout, scream, anything,
but please don't be silent.
It's killing me, please, I'll tell you everything..." I smiled.
It was the smile of a woman who has just tricked the devil into getting
down on his knees and praying.
It was the smile of a woman who had won.

I had left my peace with God and He will deal with them in Time.
At the end I remained the Lady he had married, and the other
women was
Just another lesson for me that made me the better person I am
today.












































skura
11 Apr 2011 12:34

MsKim, please finish up.....

skura
11 Apr 2011 12:35

mistaken, sorri MsKim... Thnks

charmagal
11 Apr 2011 12:36

@Maskim i gues the story continues..pls continue
\
this woman is..........i dnt knw hw to describe her bt i wld nva do sch a thng

Sloe
11 Apr 2011 12:36

Thanks Ntoko. @S.k sies man im in the middle of eating

kid1
11 Apr 2011 12:37

@ MsKim we re waiting how!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how can she just head to the do? thats noot so rite

charmagal
11 Apr 2011 12:43

tjo hai i hv no words for thiis woman

S.K
11 Apr 2011 12:43

WTF???????????? MsKim
My heart is beating too fast!!!! I cant comment!!!!!

Sloe
11 Apr 2011 13:48

Thanks Mskim i will surely use that silence weapon it really works. I know of a story where the man went to work and the wife brought her boyfriend to the house and had sex in their bedroom. Then the husband rememberd tht he left papers he would need for a meeting in his drawer in the bedroom. So he made a uturn and found his wife and her boyfriend in the act. He just took his papers and left. After work he went home and pretended as if he saw nothing. After a week the husband found the wife gone and a letter from the wife which asked the husband why he didnt ask her about what he saw. After a day the wife was found hanging in a nearby forest. So ladies and gentlemen lets stop killing one another now that we have the best weapon.

mamakaroro
11 Apr 2011 14:01

Wow!Ms Kim  I have no words to describe that woman

skura
11 Apr 2011 14:02

After a day the wife was found hanging in a nearby forest. serves her rite! hule malife!

Mokema
11 Apr 2011 14:17

@ MsKim Heartbreaking, if it was me i will definately be in jail now(for murder)

S.K
11 Apr 2011 14:40

Finally i can say something MsKim.....LOL

I think i would probably go in there, pack my stuff and leave without saying a word. And then cry my lungs out,then move on. LMAO

Miss Rue
11 Apr 2011 14:44

@MsKim it takes a strong woman to do that. i would be serving double  time for murder. But please MsKim finish up.......

Mokema
11 Apr 2011 14:49

Tshelete ya horeka seshebo

Wife: "Ke kopa tshelete ya horeka seshebo."

The husband takes out his last R50.00 note and calls his wife to the
mirror holding the note in his hand.

Husband: "Wa e bona tshelete e, (pointing to the note in his hand), ke
tlo bapala Lotto ka yona kaofela. Oa e bona ela (pointing to the reflection
of the note in the mirror) o kanna wa reka nama ka yona!
The husband goes to play Lotto and comes back home later in the evening
to find dinner ready for him "including" nama e ngata!
Husband: "Hmmm, o di hatile kajeno ne?
He eats his food and goes to bed. Later on...
Husband: "joale hao mphe moo?"

Thethe
11 Apr 2011 14:51

One man calls emergency:
- Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!
After five minutes, the same man calls back:
- It is OK, I found another one.

Mokema
11 Apr 2011 14:57

Wife takes off her clothes and opens her legs in front of the mirror...

Wife says: "O a e bona ela (pointing to the reflection in the mirror),
ke ya hao. E (pointing to herself) ke ya ntate wa butchering.

Mokema
11 Apr 2011 14:59

Wife takes off her clothes and opens her legs in front of the mirror...

Wife says: "O a e bona ela (pointing to the reflection in the mirror),
ke ya hao. E (pointing to herself) ke ya ntate wa butchering.

MsKim
11 Apr 2011 15:07

I copied the story, thats the ending i gues.

ya keeping quiet isn't easy but after this story i think it'd be the best punishment ever. the silence alone will jus kill him. But hey it'd also eat u up inside, u'd hav to be very strong..

Sloe
11 Apr 2011 15:09

Hawu thethe

ntoko
11 Apr 2011 15:22

Trust Malome wa moTswana go leboga sechaba wena.... mmh! Reetsa fela!

Malome o leboga ba tla phitlhong"

Ke rata go simolola ka go leboga moruti le phutego fa lo tlile go lla le

rona. Ke leboga go itshwenya ga lona go tla go tsamaisa o ....setlogolo
sa me, Dikeledi"

"Bagaetsho re lathlegetswe e le ruri! Nna ga ke na mafoko a le mantsi,ke
nnete re latlhegetswe ke ngwana yo o neng a lukile. Ngwana yo o
boikokobetso, yo o neng a na le lerato"

"Rona ba ga Diphoko, re leboga thata ka mokgwa o moswi a neng a itshwere
ka teng. Le ka motlha o le mong ga a ise a re swabise, ga a tshwane le o
Morwesi............

" Morwesi.... ema ba go bone!!"

"Bagaetsho, yo Morwesi, ke e ne sefebe sa mo motseng o, o jewa bosigo
le motshegare. Ke bua jaana le ko tlase o rathafetse. Fa nkabe go le mo
matleng a me nna Malome, go ne go tshwanetse go tlhokofale sona sefebe
se, e seng Dikeledi"

"Ke a leboga, o ka dula mo fatshe wena Morwesi, mosono wa go!

Malome: Pula bagaetsho

Setshaba: A ene...........



MsKim
11 Apr 2011 15:23

@Mokema & Miss Rue...... i don't think a lying cheat is worth that (Jail time)

@ S.K. u'd pack up n go wer?? its yo hse also remember. better thro out his stuf n ask him to leave. 

i gues these things have no formula... sad tho.

Thethe
11 Apr 2011 16:21

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone!"

charmagal
11 Apr 2011 16:32

lolest thethe wena u jus knw hto end our day(s)

lizziemalecha
11 Apr 2011 18:19

okay, here goes;
A man went 2 work with his flyer open...His secretary goes 2 him and asks;
"sir, i think u 4got 2 close ur garage.."Puzzled,the man goes back 2 his office,realises that his flyer is wide open and immediately zips it..He then goes to the secretary and asks:
"when u saw my garage open,did u happen 2 see da parked HUMMER?"
The sec responds:
"no, all i saw were two flat tyres"

swazzy
11 Apr 2011 20:42

yo dinies dress .... she luked like some kind of bird..

S.K
12 Apr 2011 07:23

Morning beautiful bloggers!!!!!!

Ay man, Dineo looked like she was about to take off, fly far far away!!!! Those feathers!!!! Yoh ay and that hairstyle is driving me nuts!!!! Damn...

sexy d
12 Apr 2011 08:14

morning all

@ntoko lol poor morwesi

Dinnys dress hai no comment

Thatha queen trust you to gate crash a party..

S.K
12 Apr 2011 08:29

What was Mafutha wearing bathong? 
I said this before and m gonna say it again, y is Lungile so different now, the man is really hot, second time around, shoooooo!!!!!!!

ntoko
12 Apr 2011 08:36

i knew the first comment was about Dinny's dress even at home i told them can't wait to hear frm ama bloggers regarding leya dress but still even though it seem like she was gona fll as far as possible she was still beautifull,Lungile and Dinny makes a perfect couple believe it or not i wonder mara why she was so jealous about her mom and Kenny vele kenny's intention was to make her feel like that not that he is so on into Rubi i wish Dinny will move back to her flat to start a little romance wid Mabena....can't wait

swazzy
12 Apr 2011 08:45

One night Phillimon was getting very drunk at the shebeen. He staggered into thr toilet, taking out his 4-5 as he opened the door. But it was the wrong bathroom and there was a woman sitting on the toilet. She screamed at him: " This is for ladies!" Drunk Phillimon waved his 4-5 around and said " So is this!"

swazzy
12 Apr 2011 08:47

One night Phillimon was getting very drunk at the shebeen. He staggered into thr toilet, taking out his 4-5 as he opened the door. But it was the wrong bathroom and there was a woman sitting on the toilet. She screamed at him: " This is for ladies!" Drunk Phillimon waved his 4-5 around and said " So is this!"

S.K
12 Apr 2011 08:52

LMAO swazzy o sile maan!!!!!!!!!! hehehehehe

Ntoko, u love us too much neh, hehehehehe.

S.K
12 Apr 2011 09:20

Two thieves broke into a bank in the middle of the night and opened a
safe.

There is only some yoghurt, but no money. They tasted the yoghurt. It's
tainted.

The men opened the next safe. There is some yoghurt too; it tastes much
better but again - no money. The thieves took on another safe. And
there's yoghurt again.

"John, why don't you go outside and look if it is indeed a bank!" says
one to

the other, and he sits down to eat the yoghurt which tastes really fresh
and nutritious this time.

A couple of minutes later there comes John. "It is definitely a bank!"

"What exactly did the sign say?" "The Sperm Bank of Ohio"

charmagal
12 Apr 2011 09:23

hey peeps

I thot as mch Ntoko but i  liked the dress

kid1
12 Apr 2011 09:35

Is this ssssssstrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?





WHAT MAKES U AN "AFRICAN MY FELLOW BLOGGERS"???

1. You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can reuse the
wrapper.

2. You call a person you've never met before uncle or aunt.


3. More than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal copies

4. Your garage is always full of stuff because you never throw anything away, just in case you need it someday.(a gum boot without a partner and the baby walker - baby's now 12 and you are 48)

5. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottle from your stays at hotels. (Gocool, Sweet heart, African pride....)

6. You have almost always carry overweight baggage when travelling by plane.

7. If a store has a limit on the quantity of a
product, then each member of the family will join separate queues to purchase the maximam quantity possible. (sugar,soap,rice,cooking fat etc etc during old good days)

8. All children have annoying nicknames.

9.. Nobody in your family informs you that they are coming over for a visit. ( uncle, wife, sis-in-law, two nephews and a neighbour) have camped at home.

10. You stuff your pockets with, mints and toothpicks at restaurants. ( Murray mints, wrappers, and salt shakers!)

11. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and does not talk to her for 10 years.

12. You only make telephone calls at a cheaper rate at night (especially beepers).

13. You never have less than 20 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight.

14. You keep changing your Internet Service Provide because the first month is free.. (I know some people O!.....)

15. Office supplies mysteriously find their way to your home.(Yes,staple machine, office pins, punch machine,cellotapes, post-its,etc.)

16. When you are young, your parents buy you clothes and shoes at least two sizes too big so that they would last longer.

Note: Pass it on to other Africans, so they can know what truly makes them African. Don't be mean!!!!!



Good Day African!


Teady
12 Apr 2011 09:54

An eight-year-old boy asked his father what is the difference with an old-time woman's panty and a now-a- days panty. His father told him that from his experience the only suitable answer he could give him was that you had to move the panty to see the ass a long time ago, but now you have to move the ass to see the panty!

S.K
12 Apr 2011 10:03

G-strings vs Full blasts!!!
kwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa

Talala
12 Apr 2011 10:03

Oh no SK maan its still too early

Thethe
12 Apr 2011 10:17

This 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket.
When she went before the judge he asked her, 'What did you steal?'
She replied, 'A can of peaches.'
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can.
She replied that there were six.
The judge said, 'Then I will give you six days in jail.'
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband stood up, and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said, 'What is it?'
The husband said, ‘She also stole a can of peas.’

Vandimerwe
12 Apr 2011 10:41

it was she was going for the feathers awards

S.K
12 Apr 2011 10:50

@Talala, askies, u stil have to catch your breakfast, ltltltltltltltltl
@TAZ... paper??? u worse than me! kwakwakwakwakwa.

Mokema
12 Apr 2011 11:12

@Thethe so the husband wanted the woman out of the way, how many peas were in the can?

CHEATING

One night 4 Tshwane University students were boozing till late night and didn't
study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look a
dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.

They then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a
wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and
they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no
condition to appear for the test.

The dean was a just person so he said that you can have the re-test
after 3 days. They said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the dean. The dean said that this
was a special condition that all four were required to sit in
separate classrooms for the test.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The
test consisted of 5 questions with total of 100 marks:

MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATION

INSTRUCTIONS: 

1. All questions are compulsory.
2. Any inconsistencies on any of the questions among the four students will result in all the candidates getting a zero mark.


Q.1. Write down your name----- (2 MARKS)

Q.2. Write the name of the bride and bridegroom at the wedding you attended----- (30 Marks)

Q.3. What type of a car burst a tyre. ------ (20 Marks)

Q.4. Which tyre burst ------- (28 marks)

Q.5. Who was driving---------- (20 marks)

END OF PAPER AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!

Thethe
12 Apr 2011 11:23

LITTLE OLD LADY IN COURT

Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Old Lady:
I am 94 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm
spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch
and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died
some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Old Lady:
He began to rub all over of my body.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.
I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down
and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now! '

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"

And that's when I shot him, the little bastard

skura
12 Apr 2011 11:40

HAHAHAHA!!! nyc 1 Thethe, thanks!

kid1
12 Apr 2011 12:01

i bet she thot albert had returned as a young man heeeeeeeeeeee.nyc one

MsKim
12 Apr 2011 12:32

Son: Dad, What is the secret of happy married life?
Dad replied in short: It is still a secret!! 

Good day good pple

inkosazana
12 Apr 2011 12:43

A drink on me for those who get the answer right….

Good luck and take your time………..

There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of black babies. What am I?


MsKim
12 Apr 2011 12:43

Dinny stil has feelings for Kenny thats why she was jealous of her mom. as she is a whore she won't go for the obvious Lungile. Eish Lungile is a charmer, his charms wld mosdef work on me ayii he's hottt

Vandimerwe
12 Apr 2011 12:53

Dinny and kenneth should just get back 2gether kana dinny is for the mashabas ans there is only one mashaba left

Holiday
12 Apr 2011 12:54

@inkosana Mama Matric

S.K
12 Apr 2011 12:57

Inkosazana....... m still thinking!!! lol

Thethe
12 Apr 2011 14:08

A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

kid1
12 Apr 2011 14:31

hey guys let me share now m ready.
ok @inkosazana am with u en till thinking.

my friend isin a situation neh.

she is seeing this guy who happens to be having marital problems en so is my friend. they decide to find there own space as intimate rent a flat.that flat is so nice i have been en it feels like some place out of this world. the guy is paying for th flat and they have been together for th past 2 years. now i think th guy is now working on his marriage or something thats my guess en then he asks his wife to bring over th kids for a week break en wat does he do he flags th house with his families photos. th girlfriend goes to see him as usual after work she finds their intimate place is all flowered with frames of all sort. she querries him he tells her its his brother en mom who decided to remind him of his family. how cool is that?


so my friends help coz my friend went in with her heart en shez so broken, not that hez working out his marriage coz he lied to her and was disrespectiful for hanging those photos. eish am feeling for her but pulizi advise

Condomm
12 Apr 2011 14:34

@inkosazana, a fruit.

inkosazana
12 Apr 2011 14:38

lol take your time guys, none of you is close

Vandimerwe
12 Apr 2011 14:44

@inkosazana..........nna im not going to think i wil just wait for the answer.............as im busy trying to get the answer for tuesday tivia

maud
12 Apr 2011 14:45

garnat

ntoko
12 Apr 2011 14:59

Kid1 i hate to say this but dating a married man is not a gud idea he only cheats on his wife for entertainment,believe it or not if a man can break the heart of a person whom he made vows that in sickness and in health they will be together untill death set them apart as a barbie gal u must always keep the room for dissapointment,let me tell u something every marriage have it own differences and the more they keep the distance frm each other the more they realise how much they need each other,therefore your friend was there for him as a shoulder to cry on m not sure about the agreement they made but it obvios there were no strings attached therefore she must learn to know men are very weak sometimes its hard for them to take the stress but they will always go back to their families married man will never leave his wife for a galfriend unless if that man is not a man enough,ur friend must also try and resolve her marital problems and move on otherwise there is nothing left the man is moving out.

Mokema
12 Apr 2011 15:10

@inkosazana please help us i m leavin now nd i cant blog on my fone coz it's a job

kid1
12 Apr 2011 15:17

Ntoko exactly my point.

maud
12 Apr 2011 15:21

@Kid1- my mother use to say (Ujehova soze akuphe indoda yommnye umfazi) guys you will translate, your friend need to undestand that that mas was not his, she was just playing a part..
@ntoko yes love man do break the heart of the woman he made vows  to, thats why there is a word divorce.
about keeping the distance - i believe out of site is out of mind thats my believe.

Mrs Chix
12 Apr 2011 15:40

hi guys how are you. I need help, I want to gain gain weight please any suggestion??  And dont tell me to eat more coz l'm not a food person. HELP

Mrs Chix
12 Apr 2011 15:40

hi guys how are you. I need help, I want to gain gain weight please any suggestion??  And dont tell me to eat more coz l'm not a food person. HELP

ntoko
12 Apr 2011 15:55

HOW TO GAIN WEIGHT???? Keep smilling always the more u laugh the more ur body is stretching most skinny ppl hardly smile i stand to be corrected

kid1
12 Apr 2011 16:03

@ mrs chix then if u re not a food person y do you want to gain weight? for starter my sister was justlike u en we put her on diary. eat alot of ice cream, cakes, maffins chocolates. try chiken wings, poke chops all those un healthy but healthy foods. hungarian sausag, becon en make it full breakfast for breakfast. try even junk alot of it. sleep alot en avoid exercise. all thye best 

S.K
12 Apr 2011 16:16

@Taz, South Africa!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaah *dead*
@Vandi.
Ay the trivia really got us rolling today....I need grandpa

@inkosazana...... Its MONKEY"S BALLS

Condomm
12 Apr 2011 16:17

@inkosazana , watermelon, my prize pliz!!!

S.K
12 Apr 2011 16:23

kwakwakwakwkakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa
kwakwakwakwkakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa
kwakwakwakwkakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa

@MOKEMA!!!!!!!!! a zero mark for sure!!!!!!! Great stuff!!!!!!!!!

tshetlha
12 Apr 2011 16:28

@mrs chix, hot cocolate works wonders.....also eat muffins every day

Teady
12 Apr 2011 16:33

it's a south african flag @ inkosazana...lol

kid1
12 Apr 2011 17:04

*A Girl's First Time*
(Assume you are a girl if you are a boy)


> > > > >> > It's your first time.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > As you lie back, your muscles tighten.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > You put him off for a while
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > searching for an excuse,
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > but he refuses to
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > be swayed as he approaches you.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > He asks if you're afraid
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > and you
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > shake your head bravely.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > He has had more experience, but it's the first
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > time his finger has found the right place.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > He probes deeply and you shiver;
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > your body tenses
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > He looks deeply within your eyes
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > and tells you to trust him
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > he's done this many times before.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > His cool smile relaxes you
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > and you
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > open wider
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > to give him more room for an easy entrance.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > You begin to plead and beg him to hurry,
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > but he slowly takes his time,
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > As he presses closer,
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > going deeper,
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > you feel the tissue give way;
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > pain surges throughout your body
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > and you
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > He looks at you concerned
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > and asks you if it's too painful.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > Your eyes are filled with tears
> > > > >> >

Proxy
12 Apr 2011 17:08

@ Mrs Chix, r u naturally thin or u sick or something??? coz if u naturally thin there's nothing much u can do about....m talking from experience....i ate myself sick but nothing....kuzozenzekela dear...don't stress!!!!!!!!

LaDonna
12 Apr 2011 22:29

LaDonna
12 Apr 2011 22:31

Hey  All~

Does anyone know if there is a site that I can view Generations live online?

Thanks in advance~

S.K
13 Apr 2011 07:17

@LaDonna, eish u overseas neh? Eish I dont know.

LaDonna
13 Apr 2011 07:27

S.K~

Yes I am in Los Angeles~

Miss Rue
13 Apr 2011 07:31

Difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED

People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED.
But there is. When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.
And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED.
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are...
COMPLETELY FINISHED

ENGLISH IS A WONDERFUL LANGUAGE, ISN'T IT?

S.K
13 Apr 2011 07:57

@LaDonna I remember hey. I also remember that your Generations is 4yrs behind neh!!! I wish i could help u hey.

charmagal
13 Apr 2011 07:59

mrng bloggerz...............msd gen again yesterday anybody with an update wl b grtly appreciated

charmagal
13 Apr 2011 08:04

eish sori La Donna unfortunately i dnt knw if there is any

S.K
13 Apr 2011 08:25

@charmagal........An update for my dalizo!!!!!

Loading...............................................................

Kazika
13 Apr 2011 08:44

i bet thats a a dentist kid 1

Mokema
13 Apr 2011 09:01

The Fare 

A teenager and his date were parked on a back road outside of town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads outside of town. Things were getting pretty serious when the girl stopped the boy and said "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a prostitute and I charge R50.00 for sex."
The boy just looked at her for a few moments, but then reluctantly paid her the money and they did their thing. After getting dressed again, the boy sat quietly in the driver's seat listening to the radio and looking out of the front window.
Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a taxi driver and the fare back to town is R70.00."

Mrs Chix
13 Apr 2011 09:10

Thank you guys @ntoko l smile a lot and talk a lot

S.K
13 Apr 2011 09:15



Loading...............................................................................................................

chiwanza
13 Apr 2011 09:26

@ladonna i do not know

Mrs Chix
13 Apr 2011 09:26

@Proxy l think l am naturally thin, l gain abt 10 kg when l had my baby and l liked it, but after breast feeding l started to lose the kgs and l went back to my old self. The other thing is l am not a sugar person but l will try the muffins, hot chocolate and the cake.

chiwanza
13 Apr 2011 09:33

ok for the update 

dinny asked kenny wat hw was doing with ruby and kenny told her to mind her own business coz he was not gonna ask about lungile

lungile has anew office at  ezweni

choppa and matt got paid and they were spending money like fools they even bot the expensive champaigne at sam's bar (4goten the name)
 
chief wants to pay lobola for sam and he refused shazz does noe see aproblem as well as choppa

nich told kadja that she is acting up on jason coz she wants to move her way up since jason is the boss

jigga was in a very good mood which surprised mam ruby

that is all i can remember for now


charmagal
13 Apr 2011 09:44

thnx so mch @lissa  
@ S.K........is it processin as yt or stl loadin?LOL

MsKim
13 Apr 2011 09:57

Mrs Chix same thing happened to me, after breast feeding i lost the weight (back to the old self). unfortunately if u r already happy there's nothing u can do to gain weight. if u're naturally skinny maybe it'll change with age o somthing othewise don't stress dear.
kwaa @ load..............S.K. i knw its not a joke but u jus made me smile

S.K
13 Apr 2011 10:21


Network error.........................

Askies charmagal

Condomm
13 Apr 2011 10:24

iphi inkosazana?

S.K
13 Apr 2011 10:27

@MsKim, m glad i could make u smile. LOL

Thethe
13 Apr 2011 10:28

Having sex is yet another great past time for burning up those unwanted fat producing calories...

REMOVING CLOTHES
With partner's consent... 12 calories
Without partner's consent... 187 calories

UNHOOKING BRA
Using two calm hands... 7 calories
Using one trembling hand... 36 calories

GETTING INTO BED
Lifting partner... 1.5 calories
Dragging partner along floor... 16 calories
Using skateboard... 3 calories

ACHIEVING ERECTIONS
For normal healthy man... 2.5 calories
Losing erection... 14 calories
Searching for it... 115 calories

PUTTING ON CONDOM
With erection... 1.5 calories
Without erection... 300 calories

INSERTING DIAPHRAGM
If the woman who does it is:
Experienced... 6 calories
Inexperienced... 73 calories
If a man does it... 650 calories
Add five calories for retrieving it from across the room.

POSSIBLE INTERCOURSE SIDE EFFECTS
Bouncing... 7 calories
Sliding around... 9 calories
Serious skidding... 12 calories
Whiplash... 27 calories

ORGASM
Real... 27 calories
Faked... 160 calories

ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE
Shoes flew off... 35 calories
Expression didn't change... 0.5 calories
Orchestra swelled... 6 calories
Birds sang:
Large birds... 7 calories
Small birds... 3 calories
Earth moved... 30 calories

PULLING OUT
After orgasm... 0.5 calories
A few moments before orgasm... 500 calories

PENIS ENVY
For woman... 3 calories
For men... 72 calories

GUILT
Banging your boss for a promotion... 30 calories
Sex during a 'sickie'... 10 calories
Bonking each other with parents in other room... 7 calories
Putting it on your expense account... 9 calories

AGGRAVATION
Partner keeps showing plant... 5 calories
Partner insists on dog cuddling during foreplay... 14 calories
Partner just visited bathroom for 7th time... 10 calories
Partner is taking phone calls... 7 calories
Partner is making phone calls... 40 calories

GETTING CAUGHT
By partner's spouse... 60 calories
By your spouse... 100 calories
Trying to explain... 55 calories
Trying to remain calm... 100 calories
Leaping out of bed... 75 calories
Getting dressed in one motion... 500 calories

charmagal
13 Apr 2011 10:31

2 kids were playing when they found a used condom...took it home as a balloon and the kid’s mother got upset, warned them not to pick things while playing....when the mother left one kid asked the other one. Why was mum so angry that we found a balloon? The other one replied “thank God we didn't tell her that we drank the yoghurt inside!


ntoko
13 Apr 2011 10:54

One day a Church Minister from England visited a church in Lesotho and
He needed an interpreter so that he could talk to the people, as he was
English and knowing that most people did not understand English.
In the church he appointed Mr.Moleko, one of the church elders, to
translate to the congregation Mr. Moleko had worked in the mines and was
held in high esteem in his community because he was a "Mabalane" in the
mines. However, he was still not good in English.

MINISTER : Ladies
MOLEKO : Bo mme le bo ntate

MINISTER : And gentlemen
MOLEKO : Le lona bana

MINISTER : As you know this church is not mine
MOLEKO : Tje ka ha le tseba hore cheche hase maene

MINISTER : This man was a good fellow
MOLEKO : Monna enwa e ne e le kutu ya lefielo

MINISTER : He was a Philosopher
MOLEKO : One a fiela di sofa

MINISTER : And therefore
MOLEKO : E ne e le Tefo le yena

MINISTER : He was a lawyer
MOLEKO : A bile a loya

MINISTER : And we are not here to apologise
MOLEKO : Ha re mona ho apola jase

MINISTER : And we are not here for fun
MOLEKO : Hare mona ka sefofane

MINISTER : So ladies and gentlemen
MOLEKO : Ka hoo re tiise ho ja ntle le meno

MINISTER: Don't judge him
MOLEKO: Le seke la moja

MINISTER: He is the man of GOD
MOLEKO: O na le maene wa gauta

MINISTER: He will lead you
MOLEKO: O wele lejweng

MINISTER: I thank you now.
MOLEKO : Ke a ya Thekong jwale.

Thethe
13 Apr 2011 11:14

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it...

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

I politely said,
'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
'Get the right f***ing number!'
And the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her,
I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an asshole!'
And hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it,
And put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.
I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled 'NO!' And slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an asshole!'
And hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial)
I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is.'

I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd. , in Fairfax
It's a yellow ranch style house And the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?'

He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'

I said, 'Don, you're an asshole!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called asshole #1.

He said, 'Hello'

I said, 'You're an asshole!'
(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah!'

He screamed, 'Stop calling me'

I said, 'Make me.'

He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax, a yellow ranch style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,' and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He said, 'Hello?'

I said, 'Hello, asshole,'

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said, 'You'll what?'

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass'

I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I was on my way over to 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax .
I quickly got into my car

charmagal
13 Apr 2011 11:22

skura
13 Apr 2011 11:24

lol ***wondering what might have happened there*** Yhoooo!

Thethe
13 Apr 2011 11:29

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work.

MsKim
13 Apr 2011 11:30

ieewww @ charmagal

@ thethe kikiki lol u've made my day..

skura
13 Apr 2011 11:34

u shud've told em that u caused the conflict btwn em!!! remind em of the wrong they did 2 u! lol lol lol lol!

Thethe
13 Apr 2011 11:45

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

kid1
13 Apr 2011 12:25

@kazika u dem right drinks after five name the place.
@thethe am in stitches mamamamama

Thethe
13 Apr 2011 14:01

Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"
Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.

maud
13 Apr 2011 14:04

@Mrs Chix - i am size fourty , do you still want to gain weight? we can arrange the body swap

Thethe
13 Apr 2011 14:05

A little boy went up to his father and asked, "Dad, where did my intelligence come from?" The father replied, "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine."

Thethe
13 Apr 2011 14:27

Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell...'

Mokema
13 Apr 2011 14:29

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem. 

While they were there, the wife passed away. 

The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for R150 or we can have her shipped back home for R5000. 

The husband thought about it and told the undertaker he would have her shipped back home. 

The undertaker asked him, "why would you spend R5000 to have her shipped home when you could have a beautiful burial here, and it would only cost R150????" 

The husband replied, "Long ago, a man called (JESUS) died here, was buried here, and three days later, rose from the dead.

 I Just cant take that chance!"

MsKim
13 Apr 2011 14:35

eish eish eish, is marriage tht bad that husbands always make sure wen their wives die never come back...o try to get ride of her. . .
@Mrs Chix wat size r u?

ntoko
13 Apr 2011 15:32

There was a tourist and a native in Caprivi. They were sailing on the

Zambezi river with the Caprivian tour guide.

The tourist asked the Caprivian man, do you know psychology, geography,

geology and criminology?

The black man said no to all the questions. The tourist said; what the hell

do you know on this earth?

Then suddenly the boat started sinking then the Caprivian guy asked the

tourist; do you know swimnology and escapology away from crocodology?

The tourist said no I don't. Then the Caprivian guy said, ya today u will

drink waterlogy and then you will dieology.



Thethe
13 Apr 2011 15:43

A woman went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet. The cowboy grinned and said, “Sure is, little lady! Why don’t you come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it to you!” The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, “Well, thank ya Ma’am. I’m real flattered. Aitn’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before. The woman replied, “Don’t be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”

Thethe
13 Apr 2011 15:50

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.
"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.

Mrs Chix
13 Apr 2011 15:51

@Maud and MsKim l am a size 28. I just wish to get to a size 32

Thethe
13 Apr 2011 15:57

2 doctors are laying in bed after having sex. The guy says "You must be an OBGYN because you can work that pussy." The woman says "You must be an anesthesiologist because I didn't feel a thing."

chiwanza
13 Apr 2011 16:01

tjo!!!!!!!!!! u guyz rock i love you all

chiwanza
13 Apr 2011 16:01

tjo!!!!!!!!!! u guyz rock i love you all

charmagal
13 Apr 2011 16:03

BF: What wuld u do if a bus was abt 2 run me ova?
GF: I'l run & pul u out of e way
BF: Wow u rily luv me.
GF: What wuld u do if e circumstances were reversed?
BF: I wul say what God giveth, God taketh.

Thethe
13 Apr 2011 16:06

Never Lie to a Woman

A man called home to his wife and said, " HoneyI have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends

We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're Leaving >From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up"
" Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.

The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to Do?"

You'll love the answer...

The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box ..." 

Never Lie To A Woman...!!!

kid1
13 Apr 2011 16:25

hey u guys are killing me toda God giveth en God taketh. BF using th bible. atase!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

charmagal
13 Apr 2011 16:31

lolest @ thethe    I did. They're in your fishing box ..."

kid1
13 Apr 2011 16:59

gudnite ma bloggers i ha dso much fun fun today. u  all left me in stiches.

@charmagal 
@Thethe
@Mokema
@ntoko
@Miss Rue 
@Ladonna
@SK

GUYS HAVE A GUD1 till then its ur kid1 signing out as for kazika u neva got bact to me th drink.

Mokema
14 Apr 2011 07:32

Sharon's mother is rich but wants to stay in a two room flat, i wonder where she slept.

S.K
14 Apr 2011 07:41

Morning ma lovies
Yes Sharon's mom should have went to 3 towers or something. How did they sleep?
 M tryna think of an actor who was gonna nail this part ya Sharon's mom!!!!

M still thinkin!!!!!!!!

kioramada
14 Apr 2011 07:56

I agree, she should have gone to Three Towers like what Chief does.................i guess its true when they say dont judge a book by its cover......the look on her face when she was told Khapela was the owner of the business

Miss Rue
14 Apr 2011 08:11

A very depressed man
There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife sleeping with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

charmagal
14 Apr 2011 08:19

mrng bloggerz............

shme to the truck driva uthanda izinto naye


eish i hate to say this bt if ever there is a match am nt abl to watch gen as ma dad wl be watchn supersport.....wl anyone of u b a gd sammaritan gve me an update

Thethe
14 Apr 2011 08:33

@Miss Rue, i can imagine the look in the driver s face when the depressed man said "And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
all in all it serves him right, you have to draw the line in life, you cant just budge in there and make everyone your friend,

S.K
14 Apr 2011 08:39

OUCH!!!!!!!!!

Miss Rue
14 Apr 2011 09:23

mrng bloggers...

and there he was thinking the poor man was crying for his drink. ah shame man poor man

Thethe
14 Apr 2011 09:50

Husband: "Honey, why do you usually answer me back with a question when I ask you?"
Wife: "Is that what I do?"

Thethe
14 Apr 2011 09:58

"You wouldn't sleep with Angelina Jolie for a million dollars, would you?", asked the cuddling wife. "Don't be ridiculous", said the husband. "How am I gonna raise a million dollars?"

Thethe
14 Apr 2011 09:59

"You wouldn't sleep with Angelina Jolie for a million dollars, would you?", asked the cuddling wife. "Don't be ridiculous", said the husband. "How am I gonna raise a million dollars?"

Miss Rue
14 Apr 2011 10:28

John was in court the other day and the court session was dismissed until further notice after this exchange:
Lawyer: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
John: Oral.

Ngwanab
14 Apr 2011 12:09

eish guys i was watching Isindingo and checking some comments from Isidingo bloqqers. Isindingo is so interesting at this moment. and my favorite Soap General seems to be going down. Nothing is interesting for one not to miss the soap. i been missing the soap for the past two weeks . I don’t feel guilty like before. 

Mr Mvundla pls
do something before many of us change to another channel. I enjoy and adore the soap very much but the story line lately doesn’t make sense according to my opinion. Please do something before it’s too late.

Thethe
14 Apr 2011 12:27

@Taz, no doubt abt that, i like her also,

S.K
14 Apr 2011 12:36

For some reason, i dont like that woman's lips  Taz and Thethe! LOL

charmagal
14 Apr 2011 13:12

a fwend of mine at work asked me a question. Would u be with someone that treats u like a queen and gives u the world that u dont love? Or some one thar u love whole heartedly that doesnt appreciate u or shows u any reason to b with?

MsKim
14 Apr 2011 13:56

i've rather stay with the one who'll treat me like at queen.............. i'd learn to love him.. Sadly most of us chose the other one..

MsKim
14 Apr 2011 14:00

n keep hoping he/she'll change.. that never happens...

Vandimerwe
14 Apr 2011 14:05

i think im okay with shazz's mum..... eish Mathew ...the virus has finished him shams...he must stop drinking and smoking

maud
14 Apr 2011 14:08

Charmagal - he first one, do you know how painful it is to love someone who doesnt give a damm about you? what a waist of time and love

charmagal
14 Apr 2011 14:14

I say - to hell with those two punks - I can find one with all the above positive traits :D why choose and settle if you can have more #justsayin .......lol....

maud
14 Apr 2011 14:17

for a while i thout they will bring Tselani Tambo, i know she was auditining for this part.ohh konje she coudnt speak Tswana

S.K
14 Apr 2011 14:30

Charmagal, i wouldn't choose anyone there.

 The first one would be just taking him for a ride and u know what, those things come back to bit your ass. I dont think u can learn to love someone esp when u so comfy with him. Instead u will cheat on him knowing that u have a comfort zone.         *Sad ladies but true* 

Those people dont do that forever, they will eventually pick it up that u dont love them or u cheating on them and believe me that kind of man is the one that dont argue when they find u in the wrong, they kill u.

MsKim
14 Apr 2011 14:40

well, i'd fall for anyone who'd treat me like a queen..

Snuca Babe
14 Apr 2011 15:47

Yeah MsKim i like that

"I'd fall for anyone underline that word ANYONE who'd treat me like a queen"

You go Gal!!!!!!!!

Mrs Chix
14 Apr 2011 16:42

Maud l think Thelani Tambo would habe been perfect for the part os Sharon's, mother.

Mrs Chix
14 Apr 2011 16:42

sorry Tselani

Vandimerwe
14 Apr 2011 16:45

A stranger arrives at Mashaba Ads looking for Senzo........................i wonder who is this stranger

ms2
14 Apr 2011 16:46

Gee now I know why nobody is in the isidingo room, you all come in here to chat about everything but the soapie.

Love the jokes guys they are brilliant
Have a great evening

kioramada
14 Apr 2011 16:52

The stranger is that white guy who was smooching Senzo at some club

VusiK
14 Apr 2011 17:07

a fwend of mine at work asked me a question. Would u be with someone that treats u like a queen and gives u the world that u dont love? Or some one thar u love whole heartedly that doesnt appreciate u or shows u any reason to b with?

Women would be where they're treated better, regardless of their love for that person

S.K
15 Apr 2011 07:44

Today its cleavage day!!!!!

And i didnt know about this and here i am rocking my Kaizer Chiefs jersey in the office!!! Yoh!!!

charmagal
15 Apr 2011 08:19

kwakwakwa @S.K......join me gal i dnt hv one to show so yeah 

Plz correct me if am wrong isn't tht Diamond guy hu cme to visit Khetiwe the same Detective hu s handlin her case?

And that white guy who came lookin for Senzo?did they hppn to meet on tht launch?

S.K
15 Apr 2011 08:29

That Diamond guy, mubi shem ngathi igovu!!

That guy who came looking for Senzo is the guy whom Senzo smooched at some club, Queen's advice backfired. lol

Teady
15 Apr 2011 08:39

Hi everyone
Diamond is the police who made the docket dissappear, He is Ace's friend.

bezu
15 Apr 2011 08:41

morning lovely ppl,

@charmagal -yes  it  is the detective!! I wonder what he wants from her- remember he bought her a drink the other day!!!

MsKim
15 Apr 2011 08:43

Khethi in trouble again shame shame, i wonder wat that dude wants from Senzo. Ruby emotional, thats new.. i thot Kenny wld give her a hug or somthing. 

"I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else"? SO NOT ME....

Women would be where they're treated better, regardless of their love for that person.. YEP THATS ME..



bezu
15 Apr 2011 08:47

@MsKim- I agree with you there- 

Brandy -: "there is nothing wrse than being in love alone" what is the use of staying with someone if they done love you or treat u well, rather be with someone who will give you the world at lease then u can learn to love the person but u cant make someone love u.

Theoza
15 Apr 2011 09:41

Mnrng all

The guy who was looking for Khethiwe shud go to his friend Ace 'cos he never dealt directly with her in the beginning stupid cop.

Check this one:

One day a Kuku escapes and decided to take a walk around the body.

She first came across the bladder and then ask: Who are you?
and the bladder replied :"I'm the Bladder"
Further on she came across the kidneys and said: "You guys must be twins, who are you?"
The kidneys replied " we are the kidneys".
She then went further up,coming across the lungs, the liver and so on
As she went on she came across the heart and asked:"Who are you?"
The Heart replied" I am the heart".
The kuku screamed:"AHAAAAAAAA you are the bastard I've been looking for!"
The heart was surprised: "But why are you so mad at me, what did I do to you?"
"What do you mean what did you do to me", said the kuku,"You are the one going around falling inlove and guess what happens to me?"

"Kutyiwa  mna!!!"



vinc
15 Apr 2011 09:44

I guess we are about to learn something from Ruby's past, that photo that she tore. Sometimes i dont understand the storyline, i thought Ruby abondoned Dinewhore or she did not provide the motherlove to her but now she is saying after everything she gave up to look after that girl, who is wrong between the 2.

Teady
15 Apr 2011 09:46

hahahahahahahahaha Theoza you killed me kwakwakwaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

charmagal
15 Apr 2011 09:51

lolest @theoza

S.K
15 Apr 2011 10:08

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahaa. kwakwakwakwakwakwa!!!!!!

Snuca Babe
15 Apr 2011 10:16

Morning Guys

Hey SK mina i brought my gals to work today


How can i forget world cleavage day.......

inkosazana
15 Apr 2011 11:04

@inkosazana , watermelon, my prize pliz!!!......................COGRATULATION CONDOM FOR BEING THE WINNER OF A GREAT PRIZE

where are about are you ? I am in KZN so i will bring you KZN WATER 

inkosazana
15 Apr 2011 11:06

Johny walked into class every Morning with a black eye.

Teacher:- what's wrong?

Johny :- our house is very small. Me, my mum, my dad, we sleep on the same bed. Every night my dad asks, 'Johny r u sleepin?' Then I say No & then he slaps my face & gives me a Black eye"

Teacher:- 2nite when ur dad asks again, keep dead quiet & don't answer.

The folowing morning Johny comes back with a severe black eye again.

Teacehr:- My goodness why the black eye again?

Johny:- Dad asked me again, Johny äre u sleeping? & I shut up & kept dead still. Then my dad & my mom started moving, u know, at the same time Mum was breathing eratically, kicking her legs up frantically & squealing like a hyena on the bed. Then my dad asked my mum, R u coming? Mum said, Yes I'm coming, r u coming too? Dad answered:- Yes.
They don't usually go anywhere without me so I said, wait for me, I'm also coming.

MG
15 Apr 2011 11:11

I do not understand the twisting and turning of Generations.Just when you think you are about to discover the truth, then things go haywire.
We don't know what happened to Paul Mashaba and Dinny still doesn't know that Kenny is the the skimmer behind Paul's disappearance.The doctor's call to Dinny ended in vein.There are just too many loose ends in Genenrations making the soapie very boring.One wonders if the producer/director of the soapie even takes into consideration the viewers sentiments.From what i can see it's naaaada.
On the other hand, Dinny might be a loose girl but, ugly skimming Kenny surely doesn't deserve her.
Dinny should pay the Doc a visit and find out more on what was really bothering Paul and then continue with her search for Paul then give evil hearted Kenny what he really deserves.
Mr producer/director do something to spice up the soapie.We used to enjoy Generations way back,but not any more because of the bits and pieces which are left hanging and unresolved.    

charmagal
15 Apr 2011 11:20


You're at a party only to find out that your phone is off because
of a flat battery and now you're panicking because you want to call your
woman and let her know when to pick you up. Then this other guy
comes and sits next to you, then you borrow his phone to make a call.
when dialling your woman's number on this guy's phone comes your woman's
number written by the name

"MY EXTRA CAKE"

What will you do?
Please give an honest answer.

charmagal
15 Apr 2011 11:22

Why condoms r packed in 3s, 6s & 12s

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy
Asks, "What are these, Dad?"
To which the man
Matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called
condoms, son.
Men use them to have safe sex."

Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "I've heard of
That in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3
and asks, Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one
for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for
Sunday.."

"Cool" says the boy... He notices a 6 pack and asks,
"Then, who are these for?

"Those are for college men," the dad answers. "TWO for
Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy,
"Then, who uses THESE?" he
asks, picking up a 12-pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,
"Those are for married men. One for January, one for
February, one for March....up to December"
The boy replied; "I am not getting married!!!!",

vb4m
15 Apr 2011 11:40

Day in a KASI Court

the guy giving evidence:
"Besibuya e-Extension 3, siyi-5. Safika e-Orlando e-13. Bekungabo-11 ejampas.
Safika sathi 4 ne ½ jack. After boma 30 minutes ngaphuma ngayoshay' i- 6/9 nge 4/5 yam.
...Ngase ngihlangana nale-1. Mangithi 1, 2, ngiyibone seyi la...ipheth' i-38,
ngathi fence."
The magistrate interrupted and said:" Can somebody please get us a calculator."

charmagal
15 Apr 2011 11:46

lolest Can somebody please get us a calculator."

vb4m
15 Apr 2011 12:13

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT STRESS IS?



Okay!


A beautiful girl asks you for a ride home. On the way she faints and you take her to hospital.

The doctor says; Congratulations!!!!. You are going to become a father;

THAT'S IT. YOU GET STRESSED.

You say; But that baby is not mine;
Doctor says, The girl said you are the father of her baby;

YOU GET MORE STRESSED.

…and to prove your innocence demand a DNA test. The police arrive, and a DNA test is done.

The report comes in according to which you are infertile and can never become a father.



WHAT? YOU GET EVEN MORE STRESSED!.

Anyhow you thank God that this ordeal is over, and start driving home.


.............. And then you start thinking; At home I already have 2 kids.



Whose are those????

NOW THAT’S WHAT REAL STRESS ACTUALLY IS!!!!!




vb4m
15 Apr 2011 12:18

Q:What wil happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A:Men wil get their salary everyday nd women wil bleed 2 death. 




Cross-examination Revisited 
1)Now,ur youngest son,the twenty-year old,how old is he? 
2) Were u alone,or by urself? 
3) Were u present when ur pic was taken? 
4)Was it u or ur younger brother who was killed in the accident?
 5)Did he kill u?
 6)How far apart were the vehicles @ da time of da collision?
 7)U were there until da time u left,is dat true? 
8)Hw many times hv u committed suicide
?

vb4m
15 Apr 2011 12:20

Joe is takng a course in ornithology,study of birds. Da nyt b4 da biggest test of da term,he stays up all nyt studyng,memorising da textbuk. Da morning of da test,Joe enters da lecture hall and takes a seat in da frnt row  ...on da table in frnt row of 10 stuffed birds. Each bird had a sack covering its body with jst legs showng. Da professor announces dat da students a 2 identify each bird by lookng at its legs and gv its common name,species,habitat and mating habits. Joe studied each of da birds legs,they all look da same. He starts 2 get angry,he stayd up al nyt studyng and nw dis? Finally he stands up,marchs up 2 da professor's desk...wat a ridiculous test! Hw cn any1 tell da difference btw these birds by jst lookng at their legs?Then he turns and storms towards da exit. Da professor shockd and it takes hm a moment or 2 ,to regain hs composure. Then,jst as Joe is abt 2 walk out da door,da professor calls out "wait a minute young man. Wats ur name?" Joe turns around angrily,pulls up hs pants legs and shouts across da lecture hall..."You tell me,professor. You tell me!!"

maud
15 Apr 2011 12:28

@vb4m- surely the were lots of figures there ,nami bengingayidinga i calculator,

@MG- if they reveal everything at the same time , it will no longer be  SOAPIE , eventually it will come back and the loose ends will be covered.
i think they are doing a great job, while you are concetrating in this part they shift you and bring something else to keep you glued by the time they get back to the other part the months are gone and you have already forgotten about what happened.

Theoza - kodwa nyani nyani kutyiwa yena

FunkyG
15 Apr 2011 12:39

hey guys i'm knew here i need a warm welcome

i enjoyed your jokes a lot hey , my colleagues are asking why i am laughing alone

S.K
15 Apr 2011 12:51

What's up FunkyG, u more than welcome. Eish the house is a bit empty coz its friday! But hey, we can have fun still........

Savanna is in the fridge and if u dont drink it, aw shem!!!!!!

FunkyG
15 Apr 2011 13:15

SK thats my staff girl friend , btw thanks for the welcome i alfeady feel like i'm at home

maud
15 Apr 2011 13:16

Welcome last born of the house for today any way, feel at home dont touch that Savana, you can have my hennessy , sit down and enjoy Generations been remixed.

charmagal
15 Apr 2011 13:38

hey FunkyG.....welcome home sweetyy

FunkyG
15 Apr 2011 13:50

LOL @ Maud generations remixed

S.K
15 Apr 2011 13:52

Goooooood! U see, me and U will get along just fine!!!! Forget about the Hennesy, its for grown ups.LMAO *as if i know how old u r* tltltltltltltlt

charmagal
15 Apr 2011 14:02

Wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. 'Stay where you are,' she said. 'He's so drunk he won't even

notice you're in bed with me.' Sure enough, the husband got into bed,

but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: 'Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?'

'Nonsense,' said the wife. 'You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.' The husband climbed out of bed and counted. 'One, two, three, four. You're right, you know. I am so sorry.'

maud
15 Apr 2011 14:29

yaa clever wife

S.K
15 Apr 2011 14:40

No, stupid man! LOL

FunkyG
15 Apr 2011 14:42

lol clever wife neh

maud
15 Apr 2011 14:48

no drunkard man

Snuca Babe
15 Apr 2011 14:51

Hey FunkyG
Waaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttzzzzzzzzzzzuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!

Teady
15 Apr 2011 14:56

lol niyanghlekisa

clever wife, stupid man hahahahahaha

maud
15 Apr 2011 15:04

cheating woman, irresponsible man lol

magerry
15 Apr 2011 15:10

well matter of sluttie marrying drunkie lol welcome home FunkyG enjoy your everlasting stay

Proxy
15 Apr 2011 15:13

@ magerry....lolest....well said!!!!!!!

Mokema
15 Apr 2011 15:18

Have a lekker weekend and i know 2moro is my day(go jewa batho)

ntoko
15 Apr 2011 15:43

six feets ((((( kwakest)))) at one,two,three,four while he is standing ayi men

magerry
15 Apr 2011 16:20

enjoy your weekend my lovely friends

charmagal
15 Apr 2011 16:38

nawe magery nd evrybdy else am off ppl ...............................til we meet on monday*wink* luv ya

Snuca Babe
18 Apr 2011 08:26

Goodmorning bloggers

SHOUTING ON TOP OF MY VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sexy d
18 Apr 2011 09:00

morning all

charmagal
18 Apr 2011 09:14

mrng mabloggerz amahle..


b2gen  hai Sharon's mum lft me speechless on friday wth her cukn

Mrs Chix
18 Apr 2011 09:17

Morning all...... this JHB weather is not ayoba at all, l am freezing.

B2G.... €Sharon's mum.........tjo speechless

S.K
18 Apr 2011 09:27

Morning bantu abahle!!!!

Haibo what did that woman do now?, i didnt watch on Friday. Help

kid1
18 Apr 2011 09:40

goodmorning all mabloggers

pliz update had no power

charmagal
18 Apr 2011 09:47

In Campinas a grp of friendz wnt 2 pic up a friend da mothr accompanied hr nd said my daughtr whr u goin go wt God.she replied mom onli if ur God cn fit in da boot cz we r already ful inside.hourz l8tr thr wre invld in a fatal accidnt evry1 died bt da boot remain intact suprisingly inside da boot ws a crate of eggs none ws brockn.GOD CNT B MOCKED.Amen

charmagal
18 Apr 2011 09:54

eish guys ma mind is frozen , i rili cnt think wl cme bk wth an update durin da coss of da dae

Thethe
18 Apr 2011 11:08


Drama in court

Judge to prostitute: - 'So when did you realize you were raped?'

Prostitute, wiping away tears: - 'When the cheque bounced

charmagal
18 Apr 2011 11:13

Lol@thethe...hai pls keep thm cumin mayb ma mnd cn defrost

Thethe
18 Apr 2011 12:35

A stupid man was walking briskly when he met another equally "intelligent" fellow. The former was carrying a basket with a dozen eggs. He said to the latter, "Tell me what is in this basket and I'll give you six eggs, and tell me how many they are and I'll give all the dozen eggs." The latter said, "Please give some more hints!"

charmagal
18 Apr 2011 12:36

" 3 men were drunk,they stopped a taxi.The taxi driver figured that they were drunk,he just switched on the engine & switched it off & told them, 'we ve arrived'.The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him.The taxi driver was stunned coz he was hoping that none of them must ve realized that the car didn't move an inch.So he asked,what was that for? Control ur speed next time,u almost killed us. "

charmagal
18 Apr 2011 12:38

ex-boyrfriend and ex-girlfriend run into eachother boy:hey! listen, i really miss you girl:*sneezes* boy:bless you , are you sick? girl:no, i'm just allergic to bullsh!t.

Proxy
18 Apr 2011 12:40

Hey Guyz

LOL @ charmagal

A little boy asks his dad: whats between moms legs?

The father answers: paradise, my son

The kid asks again: whats between your legs?

The father replies: the key to the paradise

The son says: piece of advice dad, change the lock, the neighbor has a
copy!

charmagal
18 Apr 2011 12:43

He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, he left & I was hurt!!... *bleep!* mosquito!

Proxy
18 Apr 2011 12:46

oyhooo charmagal...gud 1

A boy comes home from school at 7pm.

His dad says "where were you? "
"I was with my girlfriend." He replied.

"What were you doing?" "We were studying."
"After picking a snack off the table the son says "These fishcakes are lovely."

Dad replies "Wash your hands son; they're fuckin donuts.

S.K
18 Apr 2011 12:53

LMAO, charmagal, Allergic to *bleep!*, hahahahaha

FunkyG
18 Apr 2011 13:02

hellow people ,hope you all enjoyed the weekend

guys you killing me wit the joke hey !!

kid1
18 Apr 2011 13:03

fish cakes yah

vb4m
18 Apr 2011 13:23

Sies! fish cakes!!!!

kid1
18 Apr 2011 14:08

wats with the supervisors? wen its giving orders u re th first on their list but wen it comes to going on a trip yoh. excuses excuses so that they go. am fade up with this foot foot nonsense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! am hurt guys who wouldnt want to go to paris paris

Thethe
18 Apr 2011 14:11

The Top 5 Men in a Woman's life are:

1. Doctor.
2. Dentist
3. Coal man.
4. Decorator.
5. Bank manager.

A Doctor says to take off your clothes.
A Dentist says open wide.
A Coal man asks "where do you want it, front or back?"
A Decorator says "how do you like it now that it's up?"
A Bank manager says "don't take it out you'll lose interest"!

charmagal
18 Apr 2011 14:11

eish askies Kid1 bt i gues suke singakafiki iskhathi , ey myt b savin u frm the worse

Thethe
18 Apr 2011 14:22

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.
I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you moan and groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.
And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days. 

All my love,
The Flu

S.K
18 Apr 2011 14:37

OMW!!!!

charmagal
18 Apr 2011 14:39

Taz  u re prohibitedfrom bloggin strtn frm dis minute...........lol

There is a "lie" in believe, "over" in lover, "end" in friend, and an "if" in life. And after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W.T.F.

Mrs Chix
18 Apr 2011 14:50

lol

maud
18 Apr 2011 15:29

ohhh Tazteeq my friend , you have been banned from bloggin untl further notice lol

kid1
18 Apr 2011 16:56

@Tazteeq u are the best my love en big up to you wena u just made my day.

LaDonna
19 Apr 2011 06:12

Thanks to all of you that replied. Do you know of any England stations that it is broadcast on? I can pick up some of them on the net~

Thanks~

LaDonna
19 Apr 2011 06:22

Okay you guys,

What in the world does "chuffed" mean?

S.K
19 Apr 2011 07:18

@LaDonna, I would say pleased or delighted!!

S.K
19 Apr 2011 08:50

Haibo where is everyone? Come now. Are u all safe and sound at work? Please raise your hand when u present.

kid1
19 Apr 2011 08:56

Say ohhhhhhhhhhh say wat? am in th area 
@sk u right were is everyone?

Proxy
19 Apr 2011 09:12

Dearest darlingz...hope yo'll r hundreds....hav a swell day :-)

Thethe
19 Apr 2011 09:47

An old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.
He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?"
"Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.

He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.
"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"

So the little old man runs around the next block and faces her again, "Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000?!"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000... Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.
As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?'
"Nah," says the little old man... "Costs too much!"

Proxy
19 Apr 2011 10:00

LOL @ Thethe...clever old man hey!!!!!!

Mokema
19 Apr 2011 10:16

@ Thethe ur jokes r 2 much, u killed me

vinc
19 Apr 2011 10:42

Chief Phakeme going to Sam's flat to pay lobola, i thought they would have questioned that already. Surely Motaungs have a family in SA, the fact that mom moved overseas does not mean that everyone disappeared. I know uncle Ben is not a pleasant person to be around but it was a bit weired to see them trying to negotiate lobola in Sam's apartment. Even MamRuby was very convincing.

Senzo, you thought you could hide. haaaaaaa
Katja, Nicola stole your Jaco's number, you are in deep *bleep!* ngane yabantu

Shaz - One day Sam will get tired of you and go for intombi yomzulu may be she is well mannered. I know that these days most women earn far much more than their man, but that scene with Sam & Shaz standing in Kenny's office sham poor boy, even magogo Palesa would not done that to you.

Proxy
19 Apr 2011 10:48

As for Choppa confessing his undying luv for Shez......ncoooh how sweet, he'll even lose some kilos for her....nothing beats that.....LMAO!!!!!!!!!

lamisto
19 Apr 2011 10:54

hi ma bloggers..hehehe yesterday i enjoyed generations..Choppa ahe mane u r the man..u don undermine urself..mmhh shaz  shudnt have done tht to u..i gotta admit tht was my biggest higlight ya gens..fom the boring dinny n wats his name...smtin mabena

charmagal
19 Apr 2011 11:17

hi bloggerz.yoh misss uuuuuuuuu
hai gen ZChoppa kld me yesterdae
and eish Dinny was very smart yesterdae
poor sammie uzowakhumbula amagama kababawakhe makathi he must marry a zulu gal tht has byn prepared fo him bheka manje usharon umenza itoy yalhe
katja le Nicholas hai no comment
 

ntoko
19 Apr 2011 11:43

Dinny's Mom and Sharon's Mom are croocks both of them have something in common they receive their own lobola they can;t even fake a relative like hired uncle or aunty aibo safa iLamaqola omama u go mntungwa show them that u can't mess with Zulus

MsKim
19 Apr 2011 11:45

hehe welldone maRuby for slapping that Dinewhore haaaaaaaa abt time. with the way she's going with Mabena very soon she'll b moving in with him..

ya uShez is a very lucky woman.. Sam is very patient tjo

Mokema
19 Apr 2011 11:59

Ke tla gyma ke nne mosesane....wow chops

The fact that Gen writers has written Khethiwe in meaning i will be seeing more of her, they should just make her find Mr. right, get married and live happily ever after.

That Diamond is making me mad.

Thethe
19 Apr 2011 15:57

@ Ntoko ... what does omama mean in the sentence u wrote below ............................
"even fake a relative like hired uncle or aunty aibo safa iLamaqola omama u go mntungwa show them that u can't mess with Zulus"

ntoko
19 Apr 2011 16:20

thethe Sharo's mom and Ruby they both have something in common when it comes to receiving Lobola for their daughters they can't even hire somebody to represent their families how can a woman discuss lobola negotiations on her own???

Thethe
20 Apr 2011 07:55

@Ntoko i mean what does the wod "omama" mean?

Snuca Babe
20 Apr 2011 07:58

Morning Guys

Tjo i cant wait to see uncle Ben!!!!

S.K
20 Apr 2011 08:06

@Thethe, it means WOMEN....

Teady
20 Apr 2011 08:06

Morning bloggers!
@ Thethe omama means mothers

Sbam
20 Apr 2011 08:10

what's wrong with Sam, always dancing for Sharon's tune..  o qala ho ntena nou...

charmagal
20 Apr 2011 08:51

mrng bloggerz

hai mina am fed up kasharon noSAm naye uvele athule ngathi yinkukhu ,.........*thnkn*...

kid1
20 Apr 2011 08:57

morning all

Snuca Babe
20 Apr 2011 09:14

Lol charmagal

Ngathy inkukhu enethiwe

Cha guys usenesidina ngempela manje u Sharon
I thot  she was getting better

vinc
20 Apr 2011 09:18

Have you noticed that is Sam's dad says something, the guy nje becomes tough and does back down but that Shaz walks all over him nxaaaaa. She must get her act together before we petition for her to be removed from our TVs at 20:00 on SABC 1. 

Mothers can negotiate ilobola nou but with respect, sham Ruby tried not that MaPuleng.

Sisonke did nothing to Dumi, they must try again, selokhu enomsindo laa tata kwaye une ngqumbo. Whats wrong with him, does it mean that a person will never change they just pretend to be changed. 

Nxaaa maan, Kethi what were you thinking when you ran to Ace for help, that is what you get for mixing with thugs. Sham now she cant call Ace, coz the bill will go up to R 150k, ha ha ha. 

Vandimerwe
20 Apr 2011 09:21

poor Choppa..................

charmagal
20 Apr 2011 09:49

poor choppa..................kwakwest hai wampolaya o yena

Snuca Babe
20 Apr 2011 10:34

Guys do you think Choppa really loved Shaz or uyazisanganela nje???

MsKim
20 Apr 2011 10:49

i think he really loves her. for the first time he seemed serious this. i hop he does somthing abt it so that the soapy will get interesting again...

senzo.........love is in the air again

Thethe
20 Apr 2011 11:00

@S.K and Teady thanx

Vandimerwe
20 Apr 2011 12:01

Choppa loves shaz bathong eish ..........how can he think he can hav a chance with her owaii........................ now its time that khethi run to sbari for help............ as for dumi o tshwerwe ke nopa fela oo

Sbam
20 Apr 2011 12:23

 I think also  he is genuine.... he loves her,,, and don't think he deserved that klap from Sharon(again what's wrong with this chic, haaiman)...

I wish he gets a big break somewhere and make something of his life and Sharon come running afta him

Snuca Babe
20 Apr 2011 12:36

I Wish he gets a big break somewhere and makes something of his life and Sharon come running afta him lol lol lol  HHay ngeke Sbam they dont make a cute couple nje

Mina i just wish u Sam woul go for Ndoni and leave this crazie Sharon man
Nxa uyangidina manje

And bathong was Lungile sweet from the start, He must be afta sumthing hhay ngeke all them romentic dinners for dinewhore just for nothing

Lol kudliwa imali kudliwa umuntu

Sbam
20 Apr 2011 13:15

haaibo SB, Choppa is good looking, he just need to clean-up, everybody will change their views abt him, ka o jwetsa...  Neway i like his acting shem le setswana sa hae... lol

FunkyG
20 Apr 2011 13:15

NSnuca Babe - gathy inkukhu enethiwe  lol 

choppa loves shares ,but hey he doesn't  stand a chance , sam sam shoo hai man act like a man .

senzo usemathendweni **singing**


bezu
20 Apr 2011 13:32

hi guys! 

I couldn't help but to comment on the Choppa-Shaz-issue- I dont think they will make a cute couple- and I wish they could just find another women for Sam and Hen needs to wake up and star acting like a men umshado wabo udinga ukuvivinywa kancane!!! bring back u Palesa or something!!

Do you guys see that u Choppa no Khaphela look alike! or is it just me!!  haibo what happened to u Sara??

Snuca Babe
20 Apr 2011 13:55

Bezu Choopa le Khapela

Lol mybe indodana yakhe yolahleko, whu knows!!!!

Yaz u Shaz was sweet ekuqaleni, inkinga ukushada dan she turned into the
devil herself, than we ask ourselves why amadoda ethu cheat on us uma sesishadile, I think the idea of bringing u Palesa or Dudu back kuzosiza and mybe shaz will see
What a sweet, romantic man shes got there in her hands and about to loose *Blushing*

Snuca Babe
20 Apr 2011 13:55

Bezu Choopa le Khapela

Lol mybe indodana yakhe yolahleko, whu knows!!!!

Yaz u Shaz was sweet ekuqaleni, inkinga ukushada dan she turned into the
devil herself, than we ask ourselves why amadoda ethu cheat on us uma sesishadile, I think the idea of bringing u Palesa or Dudu back kuzosiza and mybe shaz will see
What a sweet, romantic man shes got there in her hands and about to loose *Blushing*

Proxy
20 Apr 2011 14:26

Can someone tell me wat's Lungile's plan ngoDinny or he takes Paul's leftovers????

charmagal
20 Apr 2011 14:36

its obvious@Proxy b4 we knw it ey wl be apologisin to each ................sayin tht shldn t hv hppnd

Snuca Babe
20 Apr 2011 14:49

Thats what was asking nam

Surely he wants something from her

Proxy
20 Apr 2011 15:05

NoKenneth akazibekile phansi....playing Mr nyc nyc....ey mara uDinny got dem big dogz eating at the palm of her hand.....

Condomm
20 Apr 2011 16:00

Please fill me in here, I missed the part where shaz slapped Choppa. why did she slap him for?

charmagal
20 Apr 2011 16:39

Condomm ---Choppa was confessing his love fo shaz @da sme tym blckn shaz frm takin da lift, she thn slapped u knw hw shaz is these ....................mcaaaaaaaw mara tht was vry nyc of choppa........the said he wld do anythn jus to b wth shaz

charmagal
21 Apr 2011 08:25

knock-knock ....anybody hme

mrng to ya'll

S.K
21 Apr 2011 08:27

Morning gal, u know m here. M an early bird. Not by choice though.

lovebry
21 Apr 2011 08:49

Morning people..

Thethe
21 Apr 2011 08:49

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."

S.K
21 Apr 2011 08:52

hahahahahaha! Wait for a million years! lol

S.K
21 Apr 2011 08:54

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem . While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for R150 or we can have her shipped back home for R5000”. The husband thought about it and told the undertaker he would have her shipped back home. The undertaker asked him, "why would you spend R5000 to have her shipped home when you could have a beautiful burial here, and it would only cost R150????" The husband replied, "Long ago, a man (JESUS) died here, was buried here, and three days later, rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance!"



S.K
21 Apr 2011 09:06

Dumela Taz
U too buddy!

kid1
21 Apr 2011 09:33

morning all, wont be with u guys am not feeling well. malaria has hit me. so have fun en am off to bed.
love u all en happy easter.

lovebry
21 Apr 2011 09:45

Dumela Taz.....

Vandimerwe
21 Apr 2011 09:49

eish i wanted to see uncle benny bathong

Snuca Babe
21 Apr 2011 10:05

Hey Kid Be good hey

Hope uzoba ryt gal

Guys can i ask?? Bakhona abafana la xcept The Gen???

lovebry
21 Apr 2011 10:28

Yes, you may Snuca Babe

S.K
21 Apr 2011 10:39

LMAO @SB, thandakabi amadoda!!!! Hahahahaha

Tazteeq and condomm are males

M not sure about the following:
Thethe
Sbam 
Vinc
Mokema
Proxy....
sounds like a gal but hey, u'll never now

lovebry
21 Apr 2011 10:40

@Tazteeq...around hey

Snuca Babe
21 Apr 2011 10:45

Cha ngempela haw
Phela mina ngishimile nje gal
uyazi nawe!!!

S.K
21 Apr 2011 10:47

LMAO, bengike ngasho kodwa!! tltltltltltltltltl

Snuca Babe
21 Apr 2011 10:47

ZIKHIPHANI NGEMPELA MAJITA

Hayi bafethu mina angiyazi lento…..uyazi igama elithi abuse can be taken for granted but kahle kahle baningi abakulesosimo knowingly but they can’t do anything about it, cha bolova niyadlala ngezingane zabantu, yazi umuntu umnike ithemba elingekho uhlale naye nikipite, naye ahlalele ethembeni shame ukuthi angahle athole okusamshadwana ahlale kuze kuyovalwa ulokhu umbhevula mahhala nje….may be kunesifo esikhona sokusaba ukuzi committer (ukushada) kolova, mina I don’t have a problem with staying unmarried but at the process musa ukubeka umuntu wabantu ethembeni olaziyo wena kahle kamhlophe ukuthi ngeke lenzeke…zikhiphani ngempela majita.

Izinto eziningi siyasaba ukuzikhuluma kodwa sibe sizibuka, uthola ulova espana kamnandi a very decent guy with a decent job, uhlala eflethini (most of them basahlala emakubo though) and he is driving a GTI (for example hayi kabi), bese kuba nje nentombazane ekade ayibamba useze wayimithisa. MaGents once you make a woman pregnant and continue staying with her you are creating a huge amount of hope, it’s like you are starting a family naye loyomuntu, iyakhula ingane yenu indoda doo ukuyolobola let alone ukucela ke, ugcina ngokuhlawula isisu bese ebheka ebeach….zikhiphani ngempela majita.

Bafwethu labantu nabo bayawuthanda umshado, if you see ukuthi ngeke umshade wena mdedelele abanye, I know a couple of my friends with kids ezino 10 years zazalwa but abazali babo they are still in love and very affording to wed even tomorrow kodwa kuthulekile nje….angisho ukuthi wonke umuntu akashade, it does not work for thina sonke, but my concern is why umchithela isikhathi umuntu ebe engathola omunye umuntu ongamshada ekuseni, I know someone reading this article is touched one way or the other and usethanda ukufudumala manje ngoba iqiniso lodwa……..zikhiphani ngempela majita.

You find out ukuthi umjita uthanda imoto yakhe okudlula intombi yakhe, ugqoka ama label asabisayo, angenza noma yini even ukufaka ama rim ka R15 thousand emotweni kodwa nje akakhulumi lutho ngokuyovela kuboka thekeni, ba busy abanye olova bapatanisa ukuyovela wena u busy uthenga ama 15 year old whisky bottles, ema night club ubizwa ngeskhokho, koFlorida road nako Sandton Square kubukwa wena settling ama bills,uyigqoka kanjani ijean ka three thousand ungakasethi izinto, ube uhlala kini (stupid).

Ungacabangi ukuthi njengoba ethule nje owakho owesifazane ngalendaba ukuthi everything is ok, cha..cha, everything is not ok bhuti, ukuthi ufundisiwe nje kubo, uke ungamuzwa yini ehlala ekuxoxela with excitement if emenyiwe kuyombeswa umngani wakhe or colleague yakhe, naye uyafisa beze kubo bezombona embeswa…bazomudla uma ungabhekile, stop treating her like intombi and start treating her as a woman you wanna spend the rest of your life next to her…….Come on Gents.

Kahle kahle why do you keep her around without having plans for her, is it the cooking, the washing, sharing the rent and after some time you dump her? Kodwa ke uwena owaziyo, uze ucijise umlomo nje impela uma ukukhuluma ngaye uMam..uMam,udakwa la!!! Nabakini bayakubuka nje, wena you think ba proud ngawe….kanti awazi what they think ngawe, if bengakakubuzi ukuthi kanti ushada nini bayakusaba or abakuthandi…shintsha lova.

Bolova time is not on our side, once you reach 30 ungakacacisi, be afraid be very afraid, mfethu uze ubone ingane yabantu isizifakele yona iring eyazithengela yona kumunwe we ring yomshado igqiba ihlazo noma ihlehlisa labantu abashela kakhulu, ngoba isikhathi sihambile….kahleni bolova!!!

Kodwa ke I appeal kulabo abasahlala emakubo, bangalinge bashade bese beyohlalisa ingane yabantu noMamezala….i abuse yomhlaba ke leyo, thola indawo yokuhlala kuqala and then get married, every woman dreams to have her own place azoyi decorater according to her taste, invite her friends endlini yakhe, ahambe ngephenti ekhishini ebhushuzela, and scream ngendlela ayithandayo if esechama. Cha niyabekezela bantu besifazane, lamadoda enu!!!

Kodwa ke not every woman derseve to be married, but ke asazi lapho that is between two people umshada ngoba umazi.

I wish to carry on but I like keeping it short, MJITA change your way of thinking uyeke ukujaha izinqa ngaleyo GTI (example hayi kabi) izinqa azipheli, thatha umuntu omthandayo umfake endlini officially and period, impilo yakho iyoba ngcono no Mzali uyojabula esaphila.

A CONCERNED M………… MAN.

S.K
21 Apr 2011 10:58

Hihihihihihihihihihihihihihi, thatha Snuca Babe!!!!!!!!!

wena u busy uthenga ama 15 year old whisky bottles, ema night club ubizwa ngeskhokho, koFlorida road nako Sandton Square kubukwa wena settling ama bills,uyigqoka kanjani ijean ka three thousand ungakasethi izinto, ube uhlala kini (stupid).    So true, fools!!!!!

Snuca Babe
21 Apr 2011 11:03

ulokhu ucijisa umlomo uthi umam u mam udakwa la lol lol lol

S.K
21 Apr 2011 11:13

bazomudla uma ungabhekile... And they do hey , kwakwakwakwakwa

MsKim
21 Apr 2011 11:14

Nicholus is such an idiot, who does that really??? good thing Jas figured the whole thing out. 

MsKim
21 Apr 2011 11:19

oh wer r my manners, Good Morning pple, hop u all gud. 
@kid1 sowi abt that, get well soon dear.

charmagal
21 Apr 2011 11:33

lolest
nami bengifuna ukumbona u uncle bennie

Mrs Chix
21 Apr 2011 11:42

Bye guyz am  now going home for the holiday, will be back on 3 May.

Have a blessed Easter and please dnt drink and drive.

Condomm
21 Apr 2011 11:44

@SK, how did you figure that one out?

charmagal
21 Apr 2011 11:44

haaaaaaaaaaaa mrs chix wsh i cld join u, im knckn off 1700 and ama b bck on tue

charmagal
21 Apr 2011 11:47

@condomm S.K is for eva lukin out 4 sch comments..kwa kwa kw kwa 

Vandimerwe
21 Apr 2011 11:51

guyz im going on leave...i wil be back on the 23 may 2011 and i wil not be communicating in anyway.............unless something very important

Ngwanab
21 Apr 2011 12:18

off the topic 

Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed Johnny "playing
church" With their cat.

He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it.
She smiled and went on with her work.

A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the
Open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.
She called out,

*"Johnny, stop that'' *

The cat is afraid of water!"

Johnny looked up at her and said,

"The cat should have thought about that before he joined my church,

''ke* Sione* mo"* *

AMEN = ...JOHNNY

S.K
21 Apr 2011 12:29

Ask S.K no questions and she will tell you no lies!... Wa tseba mos!!!!

charmagal
21 Apr 2011 13:06

lolest@   "The cat should have thought about that before he joined my church,

''ke* Sione* mo"* *

MsKim
21 Apr 2011 16:36

kikikikiki. enjoy yo holidays guys.. love u all

Lady Noh.
24 Apr 2011 00:18

Hi Guys, I'm da new kid on da block. Must say i enjoyed every joke !

Sloe
25 Apr 2011 16:09

A warm welcome to u Lady noh. Hawu guys its been long days. Come back plis. I miss u all and ur jokes like crazy. I looooovvveee u guys.

Thethe
27 Apr 2011 09:20

A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."

"Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked.

"Well," the man said, "I figured she didn't want it out, so I pushed it back in."


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