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BBAS: Uti's Case And Nigerian Funerals

Written by Segololo from the blog Biggie Motherland on 01 Sep 2010
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One of the great things that Big Brother does is to open up conversations and insight into other African traditions, cultures and norms. Uti’s father’s passing is the latest lesson. 

When Uti’s father passed away and he opted to stay on in the game, I was shocked. As much as it is none of the addicts business, we were involved. To me, I could not understand how the game could be more important than a family “crisis”. 

Uti did mention that his father gave him the blessing to go into the game even though his father was frail from a long Cancer battle. I was still not happy that he should stay so I asked contacts that through my biggie motherland blogging had been cyberly introduced to me. I knew they could offer me a mountain of information to help me ease my mind and also allow me to learn about the different norms, cultures and traditions of a Nigerian funeral. 

I will be quoting a lot of what I was told in this article as I do not have firsthand experience and am not Nigerian. I do encourage anyone who may know more to also comment and provide information to us who are willing to learn. Kindly refrain from attacking those that may not understand and also if you do not agree with the information – clarify but don’t attack. 

Nigeria is a complex country with a lot of tribes; this then multiplies the cultures, norms and traditions. It is a “country with more than a 150 Million people” very diverse in everything but united and a “complimentary tradition in the diversity”. “

There are 9 main languages in Nigeria and more than 300 dialects; there are also different religions - the two most prominent being Christianity and Islam (approximately 45%/49% of the population respectively)”. 

With the Islam faith – when someone dies; they are “buried within 24 hours (all things being equal) -irrespective of the age, status or wealth of the deceased. It does not matter where the children of the deceased resides (USA, Russian, China, Jericho, end of the earth, etc); the corpse will not be kept for their arrival; it must be buried with the Islamic prescribed time in the Koran of within 24 hours. 

"All things being equal" means that the circumstances 0f the death are not a murder case or any other foul play that may require the corpse to be kept for further investigation. But the celebration is the same especially if the person is older than 70 years” 

“In Christianity, there is no time frame for burying the dead, thus this can take up to a year or more (in some cases) to bury the deceased; and people can truly go to town on this. 

Here tribe, tradition and culture does play critical roles. The length of the burial time depends on the following: 

1. The Tribe (Igbo, Yoruba, Efik, etc) 

2. The age of the deceased (older than 70 years); 

3. A "TITLED" person (titled meaning state president (former or current) king, chief, or other high accolades that the person had been given based on their contribution to their community, the nation, etc; 

4. Male or female (this is very important especially in the Igbo society where mothers are held in very high esteem. Every tribe respects their mothers, but the Igbos especially. 

5. Number of wives/husbands that the deceased had as everyone would want to come and pay their last respects to the deceased (divorces plays no part in this); 

6. Number of children, the more prominent and wealthy children the deceased have the longer it would take to bury him/her; 

7. Status in the society, wealth and their residential location of the children; 

8. On the totem pole of children, your number in the line of children; If you are a last child, you have less responsibilities (unless you are the wealthiest). 

9. And a multitude of other determinations that are too numerous to list.” 

When the deceased is older than 70; has grown children, prominent and wealthy. The children will not wear black; they will wear bright colors (preferable the deceased favorite colors) and wear white to the church service. The party is to celebrate the life and achievements of the deceased. 

This is where the children will show off all their achievements which would all be attributed to the good upbringing of the deceased. Congratulatory obituaries (full pages) will be taken out in the newspapers - obituaries are very big business. 

Examples to google 

1. The President that died in office recently
When President Umaru Yar-Adua who was 58 years old (16 August 1951 to 5 May 2010 ) died earlier this year; as a devout Muslim, he was buried within 24 hours with not much fan fare as prescribed by his religion. As a President, he it was a State Funeral; there was ceremonial functions held; but it was low key as Muslims are not showy people, it was not a showy affair. 

He was considered young since he died at the age of 58; not the 3 score and 10 (70 years) as stated in religious books as the years prescribed by God. So there would not have been great feasting and merriment for him but mourning. 

2. Former Western State Premier
When Chief Obafemi Awolowo died (March 6 1909-May 9 1987) at the age of 78; as a Christian and a very prominent Citizen; he was embalmed and put in a sitting position in a Mausoleum. His funeral took several months to organize. 

He had children who are prominent in the society and wealthy; some were living abroad and they all had to come home for the burial; so he could not just be buried as if he was a pauper. He was rich not only by his personal wealth; but by the number of prominent and wealthy children that he had. 

There was great feasting and parties as it was considered that he died in old age. 

3. Death of the first President of Nigeria 

When Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe (16 November 1904 - 11 May 1996) died at a ripe old age of 92. His corpse was embalmed and kept in the Mortuary for over a year. As a Titled man, the first President of a country with several prominent and wealthy children and grand children scattered all over the world, his funeral had to be meticulously planned. 

It was a celebration of a life well lived rather than mourning. There were traditional dances, masquerades, etc for an entire week leading to his burial and after. His children and grand-children must show that it was a life well lived 

UTI’ S CASE 

“As you well know, Uti is the last born of his father, so he has very little or no responsibility especially since his father has male siblings alive (Uti's Uncles); even his older siblings have less responsibilities. It is the responsibility of the Uncles to bury their brother. 

Uti not leaving BBA All Stars to go home for the arrangement of the funeral is a non-issue really because there is nothing that he would be required to do other than stand around and twiddle his thumb waiting for the funeral day.
Being in the house is actually helping him emotionally to deal with his loss. But if it was his mother that died, Uti would have had to go home (irrespective of the fact that he is the last born). 

Now it would have been a different case entirely if his father was healthy (not suffering from any illness) when he went into the house; then suddenly he died. There would not have been any discussion whatsoever, Uti would have left immediately. The family knows there is nothing he is expected to do regarding funeral arrangements. 

All children of the deceased, especially prominent and wealthy families must be present at the funeral and all ceremonies. Families have been known to fight bitterly and even stop talking to each other for life due to burials being conducted without the presence of all immediate family members. 

It is a very serious issue in Nigeria; you dare not bury someone if all his/her children or siblings are not around or did not give their permission. This is why sometimes, corpses are embalmed and left in the Mortuary or Funeral Homes for months on end. 

Uti’s father was in his sixties when he died; that is considered young in the Biblical (even traditional/cultural) standards of 3 score and 10 (which is 70 years). His grand children are still very young (non are grown-ups) and Uti does not even have a child. So there is nothing to celebrate, but a lot to mourn because he was cut down before his time. That is the sentiment of early burial (except Muslims) 

The actual funeral activity in each of the cases described above (except Muslim) is four days as follows: 

Thursday for the coming together of all family members and finalizing on who does what;
Friday for the wake-keeping which is an all night affair of singing dancing, crying, drinking and all out merriment (if deceased is old);
Saturday for the actual funeral; then an all night party afterwards; and
Sunday for church service to close the funeral/burial celebration; then another partying after church.. 

Several streets are usually closed for these celebrations (off course with written permission from the municipality). 

If it a king dies, the whole community will be involved in the preparations and if Uti was from a Royal family (a Prince), there would have no discussion of leaving; he would have had to leave the show and go home.” 

I hope this clarifies Uti’s situation better with regards to his father’s funeral taking long, his stay in the game after the passing and traditions and norms of the Nigerian people. 

Remember the golden rule – read and learn, comment and do not cause harm, teach/clarify and do not attack.



27 Comments

Fluffy Head
01 Sep 2010 12:24

Thanl you Sego... Really interesting stuff... Especially the clothing part. You know in my culture (Xhosa-Gcaleka) you wear something bright at a funeral they consider that a sign of disrespect!!! While elsewhere its expected of you. So reall this whole thing boils down cultural differences.

Segololo
01 Sep 2010 12:33

@Fluff - I found the embalming interesting. because I assume the costs might be atronomical especially if the corpse has to be like that a year. 

I also think my culture would look down on people wearing white to a funeral... because it is considered disrespectful and like the person in bright colours is set to gain something from the death...

Segololo
01 Sep 2010 12:50

I love bollywood movies and have noticed that in those movies when they represent a funeral or going to a funeral, they wear white... another thing is in Isidee(Isidingo) when I used to watch it - someone wore a white sari to a wedding and got lip for it... cultures and traditions are very different....

poshspice
01 Sep 2010 13:09

this is very informative.
I wore a white dress to a wedding in Mozambique, I was embarrased cause I was the only one, I was told that it is only the bride that is allowed to wear white that day, it's her day and she must be the centre of attention

dorothy777
01 Sep 2010 13:20

@Segololo

Well researched write-up.

FK
01 Sep 2010 13:27

Thanks Segs for the information - very enlightning

machinjiri
01 Sep 2010 13:39

we stl learning neh, thanx headmistress.

Dini
01 Sep 2010 13:46

When is Uti's father funeral then

TerryN
01 Sep 2010 13:57

When is Uti's father funeral then

yah...nami ngifuna ukwazi??

mathata
01 Sep 2010 14:25

ther"s no funeral....they just want their brother to bring some  $  at home....they use so called funeral,they thought  3wks wont come??is here....doooooooo funeral!

they wont fool me ...their plan has just failed,they will toss n toss bigie n Africa  like coin ,we will wait for funeral TOT PIET KOM,the time we shine our eyes Uti will be gone with money

mathata
01 Sep 2010 14:39

uti he just said ...i want to say hi to mom ...my dad..............................how bananas it is?i smell so rotten rat

Spineli
01 Sep 2010 14:53

Thanks a lot for the Info Segs.

Lahvee
01 Sep 2010 15:27

Wow thanx Sego, very enlightening!! Ntsoaki said the funeral will be in NOVEMBER!!

Shakirara
01 Sep 2010 16:00

very good research Seg, my  Nigerian colleague's father was buried after 3 months because one sibling who stays in the US couldnt make it any sooner and the funeral couldnot go on without all of them. he was a Chief of some sort. Interesting, I was shocked.

Segololo
01 Sep 2010 16:24

Thanks, Uhdikts!

Ta, D7s... I hoped you would add a bit more info...

THANKS TO MY CONTACTS TOO!!! 

Fluffy Head
01 Sep 2010 18:25

@Sego: I can imagine that the mortuary costs run high man...

@Dorothy: may you please shed some light as to the cost in your country, this side it can get costly. An average South African will get insurance just to cover funeral costs. If the body can stay for so long, don't you take into account the cost? I'm too much of a penny pincher man...

@Cnga: Hayibo ntombazana, where is Shola my lover?

TerryN
02 Sep 2010 07:07

Ntsoaki said the funeral will be in NOVEMBER!! 

u joking?

makgotso
02 Sep 2010 07:20

Interesting indeed. l heard from my friend from Cameroon that they also do the celebrations,family wearing certain clothes not black. What do they do in those parties, coz here l cant get use to the after tears party

Savanah Dry
02 Sep 2010 07:57

I guess we all have different tradditions when it comes to burials and to think that i was shocked when i heard people here get buried only weekends initially i thought that was crazy coz where i come from we bury after 3 days or even 2 days ...
I guess this has given us a platform to learn about other cultures it would be quite interesting if someone was to create a blog on different cultures from different countries , it would help understand why there is so much hate and judgement against fellow africans.

Segololo
02 Sep 2010 08:21

@Makgotso - I also still can't get used to after tears - simply because people say it is "bojalwa ba digarawe" but in contrast "bojalwa ba digarawe" is such a quite event. there is no noise and excessive celebration like the "after tears".

@My fave drink - how do they get around not all family not being there if they bury within 2 days? 

<<I guess this has given us a platform to learn about other cultures it would be quite interesting if someone was to create a blog on different cultures from different countries , it would help understand why there is so much hate and judgement against fellow africans.>>
A small sample of my "family" tradition with regards to funerals as I have no idea if this is a general way the Batswana or Basotho do it... 

My family traditions are explicit about being respectful to the deceased that life stops for the 3 days or so required for the burial. In my family/tradition, as soon as someone passes, regardless of age - your life ceases to exist until the funeral. So within a week or less the funeral takes place; those who can make it come, those who cannot due to being in other countries and the like are excused BUT EXPECTED to come pay their respects as soon as they can. That's it!

The 4 day breakdown is very similar to the Nigerian breakdown on the article except that after the funeral there is no after party, There is what is called "bojalwa ba digarawe" loosely translated "shovel alcohol". LOL! 

The traditional beer is quitely served to the men who dug and closed up the grave. BUT some people that come to mourn with the family will have an after-tears celebration not in the family compound - very far because noise is considered disrespectful to the dead.

On the day after the funeral, the deceased clothes are taken out, washed in water with aloe leaves and distributed to the family. The immediate family (parents, wife, husband, children, brothers and sisters) will have to cut their hair or a piece of it and get washed in water with aloe leaves as cleansing of the death. 

A black cloth is bought as soon as the death is announced and each member of the immediate family is given a piece to wear on them (after the funeral) as a sign that they are in a period of mourning. The family elders will determine how long the period is however it ranges from a month to a year and a half.

During this period, those that have the cloth on them are not allowed to attend functions - weddings, parties, funerals except family, baptism, etc. They are not allowed to be out of their homes after sunset or before sunrise. 

The wife or husband has to wear an all black outfit that they have to wash each evening and they are not allowed to have any romantic relations during this period. 

On the set date, a cleansing ceremony is held and the family come together to celebrate the life of the deceased and burn all those pieces of black cloth and clothes worn by the widow/er. BUT the celebration is still not a party - silence is very important when it comes to death and traditions related to it. so the family gets together a church service is held and the family talks a lot and kind of gets close together - like a bonding session.
 
Uhdikts, How is death handled in your country/culture/tradition/tribe/family?

ndoni
03 Sep 2010 10:53

I have read all the above and i still feel that Uti shouldve gone home despite not having any responsibilities. I feel when he leaves the house he will be harder hit by his loss and experience feelings of regret and guilt. No amount of money can help him deal with his loss should he win. I find it disrespectful to his late father(wheter he gave his blessing or not)and unfair on those who hav to deal with him in the house. He will not be getting a sympathy vote for me.

Cnglemother
04 Sep 2010 01:00

Sego very interesting!i thought embalming was a european thing,i didnt even think black africans would even consider it due to our superstitions about dead people.so their funerals are more bout celebrating one's life than mourning.Ndoni personally i still feel he should have left when the news broke.i find it a bit selfish and greedy to continue with the game after just losing a parent.even if he has no resposibility in the funeral arrangement he should have gone home to twiddle his thumbs nxt to his mom.

Ruby Red
04 Sep 2010 10:06

i would have thought, culture/tradition or not, uti must have left to go for the funeral.

i did not want to say this, but tell me guys if Uti was not in a show where he HOPES to win US$200 000.00, would he have stayed and bunked his father's funeral?
i feel the reason why he stayed has got more to do with  that money than having nothing to do but twiddle his thumbs at the funeral. we owe our loyaties to our families and friends and not to money.
so i think irregardless of anything we say here, he was supposed to go home when his father died, more that anything @Segs, we attend funerals to commiserate with our family and relatives, to share the pain and the grief, to console or mother(who is alive) and siblings, to lend support and comfort to each other.
How many of us have attended funerals because we have somthing to do there, duty or responsibility? and sometimes these are loose relations, or friends of people we know!
having said this, we are supposed to respond to tragedies in life, based upon our values, not how the whole world/public views the same tragedies and justifies them. in our eyes and in nigerian culture it may be alright for Uti not to go and be with his family in times of mourning, but is it okya with him?
and with what justification?
and with a clear conscience?
and with no regrets?
if he is okay with all the answers, then maybe he can live with it.

Ruby Red
04 Sep 2010 10:34

now to comment on your article @segs

this was well researched, and thank you for that. because tradition are one topic which are difficult to write about, esp in Africa given the diversity and complexity our our tribes and the assiciated ethnicty.
within one tribe, you will find several ethnic tribes, which are further subdivided by languages, location and influence of geography and demographics.
you will find tswana people in SA and those in Zim or Bots follow different  traditions in burying their dead. 
so for anyone to bash anyone based on their tradition and cultures really is both baseless and tasteless. we are supposed to be accomodating and understanding like you so ritely said.

Ruby Red
04 Sep 2010 10:43

am phone blogging, excuse my spelling mistakes in above posts..

machinjiri
04 Sep 2010 12:38

@ cinglema twiddle his fingers???? Lol @ ruby red bunked his fathers funeral?? Bathong In malawi its 2 or 3 days of mourning and like segs said if one of the family members is in somewhere far and cant make it they r excused also. But during that period even if there is a lil baby u cant wash nappies @ the house u must go do it @ the neighbours

machinjiri
04 Sep 2010 13:09

in the vlge when going to the graveyard u use the way adzukulu ( the pple who dig the grave) used when going to dig the grave and after burial we go the following day to check if anything mistirious happened with the place where we buried the relative and when going there they walk in line and they call ths msonjolo, u know ppl and what they blve in. When they come bak thats when they start cleaning the house and the compound. So much stuff happens


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