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TheTVObserver: Office Romance

Written by TheObserver from the blog TheTVObserver on 21 Jan 2009
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I was watching Big Shots on SABC3 (I was bored and I still miss the SABC3 Monday Line Up) and I saw a scene involving perhaps one of the most talked about subjects in the corporate world. I think the show is a big disappointment but that is not the focus on my blog.

"The problem with Big Shots is that the men don't sound like anyone at all, male or female." USA Today


If you fall in love with a colleague, does it erase all your hard work and professional standing? Does it transform your work history into sheer sexual success instead of actual success?

Does the caliber of the man or woman you date at work define you?

As you can see this is one of those subjects with more questions than answers. I have a lot of them. The bottom line is how does dating a coworker change who you are perceived to be in a successful work environment?

If the relationship tanks do you change positions or do you deal with it and move on?


I could not help but ask myself all these questions when I saw James and Katie try desperately to battle with their office policies versus their intense feeling for one another. I think James was willing to go for it but Katie could not face more comments like the one she got from her coworker “You practically have James wrapped around your finger” ouch!


What was clear was the fact that James Walker and Katie Grahm were perfect for each other and they were very much in love. I also thought that the producers made it difficult for them to be a real couple because it was an interracial relationship. Whatever the reasons, it seemed clear that they were not portraying lust but love. The mixed tape or should we say mixed CD, made me laugh hysterically especially when Katie discovered that James wanted her opinion of the music and it was not his feelings in music.


People magazine called the show one of several "Sex and the City clones" and the characters "Entourage-wannabes".

When Katie told James that she does not want to loose what she has worked very hard to achieve because of their relationship. It made me reflect yet again….on today’s corporate world. Can you choose your career over true love?. I guess its better to be alone and wealthy, than involved and poor.


Katie was referring to the fact that people won’t see the dynamic and intelligent career women she has become. Instead they are going to see the chick that is sleeping with the CEO. All her decisions will be questioned and she will be reduced to a sorry excuse of their own imagination of an executive because she is sleeping with the boss.


Is this true? Have you experienced this?


Whilst on the subject, what about dating colleagues? Have you had experiences and what is your best advice for someone who is having that warm feeling inside whenever Dan or Suzan walks past and they are thinking of making the first move!


Affairs at the office are as old an issue as bad-tempered bosses. There are few workplaces around which don't have their share of love stories. Your office probably has one, too.


However, not everyone takes to the idea of romance at the office lightly. Some management experts, for instance, believe these relationships can adversely affect productivity. Some offices have even gone to the extent of disallowing colleagues from dating each other, or marrying within the organization. As we have seen with Katie and James, they had to go to HR and fill out a form announcing their relationship.

People will always meet and date and if they work together, it will also happen at work. Considering the fact that we spend around 8 hours a day or more, with the same people which is more time you spend with your wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend. Something will eventually be forged and romantic relationships may develop.


The issue however, is what happens when things begin to go bad when the relationship falls apart. Yes, you are professional and good at your job. When relationships begin to go wrong you begin by spending an inordinate amount of time questioning yourself, the situation, the other party, your sanity and everything about you. This may be very bad when they guy who dumped you is just a couple of offices away. You get to see him looking hot and sexy in those Monday morning meetings.

We all take chances in life, but as any gambler will tell you, only gamble what you can afford to lose. And dating at work is an incalculable risk.

One day I went to the office at night after I realized that I had left some paper work I needed. When I got there I heard noises come from the boardroom and I decided to investigate. To my complete shock two employees were going at it like rabbits. Let's just say....awkward does not even begin to explain it! They are no longer together and the break-up was so bad that the lady decided to leave the company.

What would you choose…your Career or Love?

By The TV Observer

Disclaimer
The information provided here is not journalistic but simply observations and the opinions expressed by The TV Observer, and guests are strictly their own. The TV Observer does not claim credit of any kind for any images shown on this blog unless otherwise noted. The rights or copyrights to images on The TV Observer belong to the respective owner(s). If you own rights to an image and do not wish it to appear here, you may contact this blog by mailtheobserver (at) yahoo.com and it will be removed. The TV Observer is not responsible for, and does not have control over, the content of any external Web site links shown on this site. Written text on this site is copyrighted by The TV Observer, except as clearly noted and duly sourced. Material copyrighted to The TV Observer may not be used elsewhere without written permission. The TV Observer invites your comments, this blog was created to inspire thoughtful dialogue and conversations with one another for shared experiences and insights. While The TV Observer encourages debate, the comment portion of the blog is not intended as a forum for personal attacks and destructive postings. If that is your intention in commenting, we ask that you go elsewhere.



24 Comments

Firstdvd
21 Jan 2009 06:11

Talking about experience, Ya I do but not that much ~ and I'm still experiencing it. It's NOT about CHOOSING but 'I' think it's about how you manage/deal/handle it and BEHAVE like humans. Cos you can choose both. As you mentionedThe: amount of time we spend @ work. Where can you meet that special someone?

realist
21 Jan 2009 07:04

It can work but it depends entirely on the hierarchy within the organization. If you are in the bottom and middle within the organization no problem but if you are a senior then it is going to put a lot of strain in your relationship.

realist
21 Jan 2009 07:23

BTW, are you talking about a relationship that does not involve any extra marital affair?

mjj
21 Jan 2009 07:34

I love this show........I'm watching it for the 3rd time.....let me read

Cande
21 Jan 2009 07:40

Office romance is a bad idea

mjj
21 Jan 2009 07:42

Observer forgive me for going offline i love this show to bits.....but more than that i love Nia Long who plays Katie......she's beautiful and a good actress... Dylan McDermott's (Duncan)career seems to be like Lucy Lui's career....every TV series they touch gets canceled in the middle of the season......and i know ABC Executives are both fond of them.....maybe they should just give them a show of their own.....

Best-Achiever
21 Jan 2009 07:53

i think office romance depends on people involved in it .... well i wont be able to handle it especial in those rainy days.  In the company that im currently working for maybe a quater of employees are married to each other and they met here(so i heard) and some are just dating. From where i stand i think some are handling it very well but others it becomes so obvious when they had and argument. 

What would you choose…your Career or Love?
i'd choose my career and try with all i have to believe or convince myself that my collegue/manager/CEO is not meant for me.

TheLady
21 Jan 2009 08:36

Why can't one choose both? And anyway there other companies out there.

I have dated in the office-the guy sat opposite me (open plan office). Nobody knew that we were dating (2 months into the relationship some people were still introducing us to each other). Ther'd be an on odd lunch at the cafeteria but anybody could join us and we'd talk general. We used separate cars to get to the office and we called each other if we needed to speak about the relationship. We broke up but we were still civil to each other.

If things are not particularly serious it's just best to keep it to yourselves until maybe you are getting married. And it's only a good idea not to date the office punk-people can't help but judge you because of your choice of a partner.

So what would I choose?
Both

Ms. Jay
21 Jan 2009 08:36

think office romance depends on people involved in it .... -I agree it depends on those involved. I met my spouse at work and we are happily married now....

TheLady
21 Jan 2009 08:39

And you still have your career Jael...

jazzyree
21 Jan 2009 08:39

I love the Show Duncan is great eye candy. Anyway i have been involved with my boss we were both top  managent. We worked late and one thing led to another we were both single. It worked well , but nobody ever knew at the office.
At the end of the Day its your career that is important and i chose that as i had to relocate to another country.
But would i do that again i dont think so , I am a bit jelousy so when ever he became too friendly with another collegue it would have effects on me so never again.

jazzyree
21 Jan 2009 08:39

I love the Show Duncan is great eye candy. Anyway i have been involved with my boss we were both top  managent. We worked late and one thing led to another we were both single. It worked well , but nobody ever knew at the office.
At the end of the Day its your career that is important and i chose that as i had to relocate to another country.
But would i do that again i dont think so , I am a bit jelousy so when ever he became too friendly with another collegue it would have effects on me so never again.

Ms. Jay
21 Jan 2009 08:44

and we both still working in the same organisation

Ms. Jay
21 Jan 2009 08:49

It actually worked out well - we work much better together than we do apart. We tried it for about 2 months and it failed - my boss asked me to reconsider coming back to work as he found that they just couldn replace me with someone else suitable enough - he noticed that my spouse and I actually complimented each other and got things done

makgotso
21 Jan 2009 08:51

I don't think office romance is good because one party end up losing his/her objectivity and you end being a pain to the collegues because no one will speak to you or challenge without other party interferring, e.g We got two couples in our department/office, You challenge one, you have challenged them all. 

What would you choose…your Career or Love? 
I will choose my career and convince myself that if we were meant to be together one will move to another company then we will meet then. As long we are working together we will never date because I won't know when to draw the line especially if he is my senior/ or I am his senior.



WhiteSockGirl
21 Jan 2009 10:18

<<People magazine called the show one of several "Sex and the City clones" and the characters "Entourage-wannabes".>>

Ouch. I watched the show one time only,… and I liked it. So, I can’t comment on the show.



Relationships, in my view, is more than just a couple of words. Human emotions are complex, and differ from person to person as the emotions would be as individual as the person. In that for me, it is not a case of one answer fit all questions. What may work for me, may not necessarily work for another person.

I am sure there are people who are handling office romances in a professional manner and not allow it to interfere in their work,...  and if that are the case, I do not see what the fuss would be about.

Of course, if you are in a habit to cause drama in your relationship and it might spill over to your professional life, then hell, I just pray that we won't end up as colleagues....  Would even be worse if you are dating one of your colleagues,...

I of course, would never get involved again with someone that I had to work with. It is way too complex for me. Beginning, middle, ending. Relationships, in itself are complex enough.

When I break up with someone I need to have distance between us, I can’t deal with the person on a daily basis. But would I give up my job? That would depend on a lot of factors.

Luckily for me, I had only business dealings with the person, and when it ended, I could transfer the dealings over to another colleague.

I would however, think, that since I had the balls or lack thereof to get involved with someone that I am working, that I would have the balls to deal with the break up in a professional manner even if it would kill me.



<<Does the caliber of the man or woman you date at work define you?>>

What does that mean? Because I would like to think that I am more than just someone’s girlfriend,.. that the person I am dating (colleague or not) is not the definition who I am, that there are more to me than just being a professional, a girlfriend, someone’s daughter, someone’s sister,….

So, I am not getting what you are saying / asking.

u4me
21 Jan 2009 11:31

Office romance discredit women their efforts, brains and succes, more especially you are doing it with the boss. They see you as someone who cant separate the Boardroom from the Bedroom. 

It comes with a lot of stress as you will be jealous most of the time. Mostly it is influenced by Lust, Stress or Trying to make a statement. It is not advisable to do it, trust me.

GML
21 Jan 2009 12:51

I love this show and have never missed an episode. I think they can handle it only if they dont show affection too much in the office.

They make a great couple. Thank God that Boy shot Terrence. He is a real bore

let baby
21 Jan 2009 13:35

office romance i can say its nice but has its disadvantages... its nice wen everything is fine in a relationship but wen u start fighting dat swen u r challenged cos u have to separate bedrum form boardrum...which sometimes its hard nd i think office romance needs some1 who is not jealous cos if u r then u might end-up being fired at work nd it might cos a lot of fights in the relationship...
once did it nd i enjoyed it while it lasted

cnhlanhla
21 Jan 2009 14:31

but guys does one choose the time and place of  dating someone?....i don't think so, but! the challenge will be in handling it in a well mannered way. cos i find it both disturbing to have people fighting at the office or showing too much affection ene siyasebenza lana. other than that, i don't see a problem.



Aaand...like WSG said, it has got nothing to do with defining  who you are!

AkaS
21 Jan 2009 15:09

@ TheObserver:When and what time is this show?

makgotso
21 Jan 2009 15:17

When and what time is this show? AkaS I'm not TO but the show is on Monday @ 21HOO SABC3

realist
21 Jan 2009 15:17


Based on the comments I have read. There is no such thing called true love. Correct me if am wrong and if am right correct the condition for office romance.

Vesa
22 Jan 2009 17:18

I don't think office romance is good because one party end up losing his/her objectivity and you end being a pain to the collegues because no one will speak to you or challenge without other party interferring, e.g We got two couples in our department/office, You challenge one, you have challenged them all........ lol!


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