After six long weeks with 12 amazing interviews on The TV Observer Blog, the Love Series ends after much debate and very welcomed responses by readers and fans alike. The Observer ends the series with part 2 of centerpiece’s interview. Enjoy
The Story stars hereAfter my disaster with my sons father I did not want to get involved in a relationship in fact I did not trust men. Now there was this cousin of mine, she was more like a sister to me. I prefer it if we call her my sister. I looked up to her. She and I were very close she was working in PTA and I was here in PMB I used to go up to PTA to visit her.She was about to get married to this wonderful guy who treated her like a queen. They were staying together in PTA. Then all of a sudden she became sick. She had to come back here in PMB, so naturally I had to visit her in hospital everyday. I was always by her side but unfortunately she died of meningitis. I was the only one in the family who new where she was staying in PTA after her mother had passed away a month before my sister.Three weeks after her death I received a call from her fiancé asking me to come to PTA. I thought he wanted me to help him sort my sister belongings, so I told a few family members that I am going up to PTA at my sisters fiancés request. I went up to him in PTA, mind you, he has never ever showed any interest in me whatsoever. He had always treated me with respect as his fiancés sister and best friend. When I arrived there it was on a Friday morning. I slept in the spare room.Friday afternoon he asked if we could talk. I said ok, so he started telling me why he had asked me to come to PTA. He told that that he loves me, that there is no other women he could think of after my sister except me. I told him to forget it. I even told him that I might have been close to my sister but I am not her. My sister and I are very different. He insisted that he is not mistaking me for my sister he loves me for me and not because I am his late fiancés sister. I was not able to make a decision at the time because it was too soon for him to have even spoken about loving again.On a Sunday that weekend I came back home with some of my sisters clothes. Him and I had not reached a decision. When I arrived home he had already phoned one of my cousins to ask her to speak to me. When I arrived my two cousins awaited me. The minute I got in they ganged against me asking why I was not interested in him...................... blah blah. You know we Zulus have a belief that once a person has died he or she has powers to give bad or good luck or what ever she or he wants you to have. So my cousins used those words amongst others until i agreed to see where this was taking me.I never knew we needed to involve adults in all that we just did it our way. We were in a long distance relationship for eight months and along the way I fell head over hills in love with him. Even people’s remarks that I killed my sister because I wanted her fiancé did not matter with him by my side. A few weeks ago he phoned me to ask if i would mind if he had found himself a girlfriend and that when our relationship ended because i had suspected that he was cheatingThe story ends here
----- THE INTERVIEW -----
"The Observer interviews Centrepiece Part 2 "
For The Observer's Love Story Series
First let me start by saying how sorry I am about loosing your sister meningitis is a very serious condition. I am sorry for your lose.Thank you. TheO.
Without reminding you of what I believe to have been a traumatic experience, meningitis is a medical condition caused by inflammation of the protective membranes covering the brain and spinal cord known collectively as the meninges. The most common symptoms of meningitis are headache and neck stiffness associated with fever confusion or altered consciousness and an inability to tolerate bright light - photophobia or loud noises. How did you deal with her affected by this condition? It couldn’t have been easy.It was a very difficult situation. Imagine a person you have looked up to your whole life suddenly turning into a baby that needs your constant attention and care. It was the difficult seven months of my life.
Was your sister and this guy already planning their nuptials or was it a case of a stern commitment to get married?They were already planning their nuptials. He had already paid lobola.
It must have been difficult for you to loose a sister shortly after she lost her mother?Her mother passed away while she was very sick. Her mother was not sick thou, she passed away after a few days of complaining about a headache. So I had to be there for my sister and she never wanted anyone next to her except me and her fiancé. When she was out of hospital for two months, she wanted me to sleep with her in the same bed.
This is hectic. You mentioned that he treated you with respect, your sisters man that is. Do you, in looking back, note any situation which could have prepared you for what he asked of you? Not at all, as I said he treated me with the most respect.
Do you remember the exact words he used when he called for that revealing talk Friday afternoon?Yes I do remember word to word but I will have to tell you that, all in all, he told me that he loves me because if I were to tell you everything then I will need to write 15 pages. LOL
As he was pouring his heart out to you, what went through your mind?This bustard, I lost my sister and all he can think about is finding someone to replace her in his heart. That is what was going through my mind and I told him as much.
When he said “that there is no other women he could think of after your sister except you” how did you feel?
I felt like punching him. How can he even think that I can do that to my sister as flattering as it was to be told that, she was still my sister fiancé, to me.
Considering that this was your sister’s man, at the time even thou she was no longer around. Did you ever feel weird with him asking you to be his women shortly after your sisters passing?Very weird, he was asking the impossible.
Would it have made a difference if he asked a stranger the same?No, it would have hurt the most if he asked a stranger to me. At the time I was jealous because I regarded him as my sister’s man and no one had a right to have him. You see he was good to my sister and he treated her like a queen and I could not imagine him doing that to somebody else and I guess that is the reason that made me agree to be with him out of loyalty to my sister and protecting what is hers.
When he tried to explain that he loves you for who you are. Did you think at the time he was just lonely and looking for company perhaps at the wrong person?Yes, that is exactly what I thought. I thought he was mistaking me for my sister. Maybe he thought if he had somebody who is related to his fiancé that person can automatically be my sister.
Do you think when you said “you could not make a decision at the time” encouraged the exploration of this union? As I said, I was jealous that he could go and ask a stranger, which is why I did not give him a straight answer. And I guess by doing that I encouraged him.
If at the time you felt strongly against the idea, why didn’t you stress to him that you are not interested?I told him that I am not interested but when he insisted that he loves me for me, that is when I got confused and of course as I said above I was jealous of my sisters belongings and I thought he only belonged to my sister and no one else.
When you say it was too soon for him to have even spoken about loving again, does it mean you resented him and did you feel that he disrespect your sister’s love for him?Now I can safely say I resented him and he never ever respected my sister’s memory. To top it all off, he never respected me.
When you found out that your cousins were supportive of the idea, how did it make you feel?Like I am stupid! How can I not take what my sister was giving me? As my cousins were saying maybe she wanted to thank me for being there for her when she was in need.
So Zulu people believe that dead people have a strong hold to influence bad or good luck? Interesting Did this have a strong influence on you agreeing to date your sisters man?Yes. I did not love the guy at the time. I was doing it because that is what my sister wanted me to have. So says my cousins.
Now tell me this, is your sisters man hot? Attractive? etc I am trying to understand how a family can go so far as to threaten the influence of dead people for you to date your sisters man. If in fact you did not consider him to be an option, did he have something to offer which made it easy for you to reconsider despite being haunted by the dead?He is not what I would go for in a guy if that is what you are asking. I guess my cousins saw the way he treated my sister when she was alive and thought it is what I must have after my sons father scenario.
It sounds to me you avoided the participation of adults. Do you think they would have agreed to your relationship at the beginning? And how did they feel when they discovered that you were involved with your sister’s man?Some were against the idea and some were all for it. At the end my family was divided into two. I even got to see who never liked me and who loves me the most in the family. In his other side of the family, most of them accepted me but I would not speak for the ones I never met during the time I was his girlfriend.
You were obviously very close with your sister, how in complete honesty, would she have felt about you dating his man? That I cannot answer because even today I am asking myself the a similar question if not the same.
Did they have children? No. My sister did not have any children but he has a daughter from his previous relationship.
When did you discover you where in love with him?After a month and a half in the relationship. I guess he made me fell wanted with the discussions we had about our future and everything else.
When people started accusing you of killing your sister for her man, how did that make you feel? I felt like killing myself too. What made it worse was that most of the people saw that I was always next to her even at her mother’s funeral. So they said that I had every chance to kill her.
Did any family member use those words directly at you?No, but they always said it to other people.
When did you discover that Mr. Knight In Shining Amour was cheating?Just recently. I never discovered that he was cheating. I suspected and my suspicions were confirmed when he asked me if he would have a problem with him dating someone else. His reasons being that I am too far and that I did not want to move to Pretoria before he came to my family for lobola negotiations.
How did it make you feel?Shattered! But it is a story of my life.
Do you think he started cheating because of the dark cloud over your heads, due largely to rumors of you having killed your sister or he was just too fast to furious with women?I would not know what is going on in his mind and I don’t want to know either. He was upset about the rumors of course.
After all the family interventions, dealing with your sister and her man type thoughts, and now to hear him tell you that he wants a girlfriend. Did this make you upset?I hate him for making me divide my family because of the scandal which made me to be named a killer and for making me love him despite of everything, and then he turns out to be a lying cheating bustard.
Do you think this was at all fair to you, your sister, your family and your sister man?It is not fair to my family to go through all this scandal because of my stupid mistakes. When will I ever learn?
What do you think would have helped this situation?If only I never went to Pretoria in the first place or if I told the elders about this first proposal, maybe they would have handled it differently.
Any advice?Who am I to give advice after all this.
You know this interview feels like am interviewing a totally different person. After these two interviews I have one last question. Looking at the things men do, how do you think you will try to instill in your son a sense of treating women better or would you let him be?I am doing the best I can for my son to grow up to be the best man he can be, even though it is difficult, he deserves better that what his father and mother are.
----- THE END -----
This interview was very hectic for me. Perhaps the best way to end this seasons Love Series. Leaving us to examine our actions, appreciate our lives and spend a moment to think of Centrepiece.
I am not an emotional type, I believe in demanding my way or no way at all. But this
“How did it make you feel? - Shattered! But it is a story of my life” really made me stop everything and go out for air…. I was truly moved. It gave me the same response as Let Baby’s abortion and circumstances related to it.
These boys should be castrated for the lying asses they are. Sorry got carried away there.This was a series on stupid things we do for love, but after 12 interviews it is has proved to be more than the title. I find Centrepiece’s response to that question troubling to say the least, but I rest assured that her son is a living and breathing energizer for her spirit which hopefully will enable her to find what is right for her. Most importantly live her life as an inspiration for her child.
Centrepiece leaves me with this:
“I want to say thank you for making me open up about this. You have done the good healing than any of my friends could have done. Thank you and God Bless you.” Although dog tired from my long days of never ending meetings and work, playing "DRAGON THE CORPORATE SHARK" and forever on my berry and laptop. This makes it worth it. Now when someone complains about their husband or boyfriend "I SEND THEM A LINK".
By The Observer
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