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The Observer: Interview with The Lady

Written by TheObserver from the blog TheTVObserver on 06 Nov 2008
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The Observer presents a second edition of the love story series as The Lady speaks and shares her mind. For more information on The Lady's response check out the main blog titled "The Newlywed Bank Robbers" CLICK HERE.


----- THE INTERVIEW -----
"The Observer interviews The Lady"
For The Observer's Love Story Series


Cover

1. Where did you meet the guy?
We met at a party. We were introduced by a mutual acquaintance

2. How long were you guys together?
About a year

3. Was he married?
Nope, not married!

4. Did he have children?
When I met him she was about 7 months pregnant, swear I didn’t know she was pregnant until after she gave birth. A friend of his happened to want a friend of mine, so he spilled the beans to her and asked her not to tell me...duh

5. Did you get a chance to meet those kids?
Not that kid in particular he had an older one with someone. He only brought the kid once and realized that am so not into kids and he never did again. You know what’s funny about the situation is that he still sends an email and puts the both of us on the top box and everybody else on the cc box...well she’s always the first one LOL.

6. Did the wife know you?
She knew about me. She never said anything because we never met. I think it was because she was pregnant.

7. What was irresistible about him that made you over look him being already involved?
I was a student and he was taking me to all these fancy places...that’s all.

8. When you say “she came around” do you mean she actually caught the two of you together? Or do you mean she confronted you?
Came around to his place when I wasn’t there his bro really liked me, so he told me about what went down there.

9. If she confronted you what happened?
Nope never did. I probably would have ran for dear life. I’m a Zulu girl who can’t fight.

10. What would you say was the most painful thing in this situation which you did?
It’s hurting a pregnant chick. I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me.

11. Would you say your situation could have been avoided, and if so what would’ve made that happen?
He could have been honest with me.

12. What is the most memorable thing about being with him?
The weekends are the ones we spent together anyway: we partied and went to the nicest places like holidays etc.

Incase

13. After leaving him how did you feel?
It wasn’t like I said “let’s call it quits”; I just found a job somewhere else and we drifted apart. We still email each other but that’s where it all ends. He even came to work in Gauteng for a month I didn’t see him I kept making up excuses.

14. Are you now involved? Do ever think of him?
I am fortunately, to the most wonderful man in the world and most definitely not thinking about him or any other man for that matter.

15. If he ever called and asked you to have one night together, even thou you are involved would you say yes?
He even suggested that he flies me to Durban for a weekend. I am not having none of that.

16. How would you feel if the person you are involved with now would have the “other” women?
I’d break his neck.

17. How would you deal with it?
He’d be dead so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. Realistically I’d be hurt and just leave.

18. What would you advice men on this situation to avoid the hurt and pain?
Be honest from the start I think with “playaz”; asking them to be one women man is just asking for the impossible so be honest about your game and then we can all play nobody gets hurt

19. What would be your advice to women folk?
The other woman will always be just that, the other woman.

20. Did you ever find “normal” love? If yes - do tell, if not – tell us why!
Nope! The one am in, is extra special. He loves me to bits and am happy.

MrExtraSpecial

Not everyone comes out relationships such as these, feeling confident with an extra special person in their lives. The Lady has managed to find one and even though it may not be what she considers normal, but I trust it is as normal as she would like to have in her life.

----- THE END -----

This interview was conducted and published with the consent of The Lady, a tvsa.co.za member.

By The Observer

To read more from The Observer, CLICK HERE

Disclaimer
The information provided here is not journalistic but simply observations and the opinions expressed by The Observer, and guests are strictly their own. The Observer claims no credit for some of the images featured on this blog. All visual content is copyright to it’s respectful owners. If you own rights to any of the images, and do not wish them to appear on this blog, please mailtheobserver(at)yahoo.com and they will be promptly removed.



101 Comments

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 07:21

that letter is sweet dude...

Best-Achiever
06 Nov 2008 07:33

It is unbelievable what poeple go through everyday, and quite insiring to see them coming out of the situation and holding their heads up high.... Well done TheLady, now take gud care of that Angel in your life.

Cande
06 Nov 2008 07:47

great one Observer,

If i had read this before maybe i would have a different perspective about being the "other woman"...

Sweer letter Observer, YHUU!!

Someone do something about TVSA time....

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 07:51

Thaks BA

belz
06 Nov 2008 08:02

Yho, i came rushing thinking it was Obama's wife's interview, the way engi obsessed ngakhona ngo Obama these days, lol!!! going back to read.

belz
06 Nov 2008 08:18

The other woman will always be just that, the other woman. > Eish....... sad, very sad but so true!!!!!  TheLady, im so happy for you love, hold on to that good man tight.

Cande
06 Nov 2008 08:21

not alwaysguys, but wouldn't want to dwell much on that and ruin this article because we discussed it a while ago apha

Best-Achiever
06 Nov 2008 08:25

Yho, i came rushing thinking it was Obama's wife's interview
 LOL@ belz

belz
06 Nov 2008 08:25

What do you mean Cande? have you experienced something different? coz if you go into such a relationship knowingly then you are supposed to "understand" and give them time to "sort" things out, WTF???? If you love me then dump the other chick and  come to me.

Cande
06 Nov 2008 08:34

I dont understand the lady when you met this guy he was not married and then he got married when he was going out with you??

referring to

3. Was he married?
Nope, not married!

6. Did the wife know you?
She knew about me. She never said anything because we never met. I think it was because she was pregnant.

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 08:36

Thanks belzisto.
Cande
tell us-you had a different experience?

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 08:39

Not married Cande, but she was the baby mama',everybody knew about her. The 'wifey'...that chick that his family knows or atleast knows abou

Once-me and him where driving, we met up with his bro's friend. so we gave the guy a lift. He said to me 'So where's the baby?'
I was like ''Yeah where's the baby, baby?' LOL

Cande
06 Nov 2008 08:41

Once-me and him where driving, we met up with his bro's friend. so we gave the guy a lift. He said to me 'So where's the baby?'
I was like ''Yeah where's the baby, baby?' LOL

and then what did he say yena?? your ex?? LOL


Cande tell us-you had a different experience?
ja, i did

Cody
06 Nov 2008 08:42

'So where's the baby?'
I was like ''Yeah where's the baby, baby?'

LOL the Lady

belz
06 Nov 2008 08:43

LOL@ the baby, baby, kwakwakwa!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahah, wathini yena the Lady, LOL!!!!

Cody
06 Nov 2008 08:50

I agree with Cande, the other women thingie does not always turn out like that. I mean where on earth would you find a guy sitting without a girlfriend?? it is just a risk one has to take.

Cody
06 Nov 2008 08:52

not with married men thou

Best-Achiever
06 Nov 2008 08:52

I was like ''Yeah where's the baby, baby?'
 LOL @ The Lady... you just reminded me of my X .... someday while we were still dating, he was two timing me and he and his gairl met her aunt and the aunt didnt hasitate to say
 Hey BA(using my real name)ekugcineni, ngize ngikubone sengizwe okuningi ngawe, uyaphila kodwa ngane yami(im glad to finally see you, i have heard a lot about you, r u ok my child). The gal just walk off leaving my X and Aunt alone and that Aunt declared me as a  rude person...

belz
06 Nov 2008 08:55

LOL!!! BA!!!! you rude child.

Cande
06 Nov 2008 08:55

Reply from: Cody 11/6/2008 2:50:12 PM

I agree with Cande, the other women thingie does not always turn out like that. I mean where on earth would you find a guy sitting without a girlfriend?? it is just a risk one has to take.


Reply from: Cody 11/6/2008 2:52:21 PM

not with married men thou 

ja, NOT with married men!!!


Cande
06 Nov 2008 08:56

LOL @ BA

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 08:57

He just laughed, and turned up the volume.

Best-Achiever
06 Nov 2008 09:00

eish thinga these mfakaca's put us through... unbelievable

Cande
06 Nov 2008 09:01

and you never asked him anything The lady?

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 09:01

LOL BA... if it hadn't clicked that you are 'the other woman' you realise that right there and then.

Best-Achiever
06 Nov 2008 09:02

and you never asked him anything The lady?

@Cande .. i think therewas nothing to ask since the lady knew about the baby... so she knew that he was mistaking her for baby mama

Renegade
06 Nov 2008 09:03

I mean where on earth would you find a guy sitting without a girlfriend?? 
My friend always says "Monna o nkewa mosading"...(A man is taken from a woman). Eish, like Cande said, this other woman thing is really never cut and dry, ofcourse there are cases where the other woman is just that, mara other case are genuinely more complex. Oh well.

Cande
06 Nov 2008 09:04

oho

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 09:07

Cande-ask what? the baby was there already and it didn't matter what I said or didn't nothing was gonna change-I was listening to friends saying'' at least she was there before you, so you can work your way up wara wara'' So I tried my best to 'work my way up'..
He said this one time..."I wish I had met you earlier." I realised that he was in way too deep..and that even if he loved me, I was always gonna be the other woman.

Orie
06 Nov 2008 09:09

I use to find G strings in my ex fiancees flat and all he told me is that sometimes at work they are required to wear g stings.. I didnt have further questions after that...

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 09:11

Rene, my friends say the same thing 'umuntu uthathwa em'ntwini'

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 09:12

Orie-was he a stripper? LMAO
Somethings are so obvious-there's just no need to ask.

Best-Achiever
06 Nov 2008 09:13

I use to find G strings in my ex fiancees flat and all he told me is that sometimes at work they are required to wear g stings.. I didnt have further questions after that... 
@Orie ... LOL, was your fiancee a woman?

Renegade
06 Nov 2008 09:13

I use to find G strings in my ex fiancees flat and all he told me is that sometimes at work they are required to wear g stings

BUAHAHAHAH! WHAT? NO WAY! Where does he work that would make you believe that. Actually you know what, I think when you are "in the moment", deep down you know that he's talking crap, mara you choose to believe that which he says,because it suits you.

Beyonce
06 Nov 2008 09:18

Guys im lost< what is this about?

Mopakistan
06 Nov 2008 09:18

ya true..its hard to fins a guy wihtout a grilfriend these days orif he doesnt consider the girl to be a grilfriend its just somebody he shags and once u get in the picture and he really loves u he ditches the girl.

Cande
06 Nov 2008 09:18

LOL@ Orie
Ja i think you need to just let him lie and not ask any further questions so that you see where will he end up with his lies..

Cody
06 Nov 2008 09:22

I use to find G strings in my ex fiancees flat and all he told me is that sometimes at work they are required to wear g stings

 kwa kwa kwa orie!!! maybe he was a cross dresser!!!

Tynt!
06 Nov 2008 09:27

Women are bearer of evolved fruits, for lack of better words. Funny that 70% of us have been trough arduous time (all sorts of abuse from the opposite sex). It’s not supposed to be this way, Women should be treated with respect!! The world would have never been the same devoid of women… This hurts a lot….

I am glad u finally found an apple of ur eye, the lady!!!

Orie
06 Nov 2008 09:28

No, my ex fiancee is a man and he is an auditor. 
@Rene.. i dint blive him for a sec, Just didnt want to waste my breath... Im talking about dirty old g stings some with little holes..

All i said Is i wonder if they will allow me to wear boxers at my work place.. and the condom story he always say he was musterbating (sp) so he didnt wnt to mess the bed

Toxic
06 Nov 2008 09:30

interesting read.........hoping to find my ONE some day.

Cande
06 Nov 2008 09:30

haiye le ndoda Orie, why do woman leave their g-strings there?? and condoms?? even if he had sex with his fiancee wasnt he supposed to dispose them?

Cody
06 Nov 2008 09:31

your ex was a piece of something orie!!!

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 09:31

ROTFLMAO...hayi Orie you had a playa hahaha...'masturbating and didn't wanna mess up the bed'

Best-Achiever
06 Nov 2008 09:32

Guys im lost< what is this about?

@Bee .. it iaabout the interview that the Observer had with TheLady after TheLady's response to "The Newlywed Bank Robbers" article

Renegade
06 Nov 2008 09:33

Lol, hai, it's a good thing we are speaking of him as an ex ke Orie

Tox, hai, mina I'm not sure THE ONE exists really, I don't know!

Best-Achiever
06 Nov 2008 09:35

i wash my hand and turn around Orie ...

Orie
06 Nov 2008 09:35

@Cody... He was a big piece of Siht.....that was one ugly player but it was lust and maybe it was bcos i was not confident that i will get some1 bettre. I am still single and i don c myself dating anytym soon. not after my intelligence has been insulted like that...

Cande
06 Nov 2008 09:35

Tox, hai, mina I'm not sure THE ONE exists really, I don't know!

you are NOT alone gal

Tynt!
06 Nov 2008 09:41

A friend of mine, once found the nyatsie’s clothes at their home. She knew who the nyatsie was and where she worked.. So she washed the clothes, went to the nyatsie’s workplace wearing the very same clothes the nyatsie left in da house. lucky for ma friend they were almost the very same size, en the clothes fitted much better on her than the nyatsie… ( BTW Nyatsie was a teller at Pick n pay, en husbie was the Manager)… She bought grocery and paid at the nyatsie’s cash register. Nyatsie was at awe and so was the husband, they couldn’t believe their eyes, and she (nyatsie) had nothing to say, as she knew there was going to be a huge street fight...

Hai!!! abanye bafazi!! why would you want to leave your grime @ another woman's house?

Centrepiece
06 Nov 2008 09:42

It is true this isht happens to ALMOST every woman, like me my baby today does not have a father even though he is still alive, because i just happened to be the other woman. This frustrates me more than anything else which is happening in my life right now!! It saddens me that because of my stupidity my son has to suffer more and more every day!!!

belz
06 Nov 2008 09:48

ROFL!!!!! @ Orie.

Tynt!
06 Nov 2008 09:49

When the time is right Centrepiece, your son will find the best dad ever… My father always say: your father is the one who provide shelter, love, education, and guidance, it doesn’t necessarily have to be your biological father…
Need not agonize yourself over the past… Heal first, and then move forward with the positive attitude.. Your turn to rejoice shall come..

Cande
06 Nov 2008 09:52

Centrepiece you were not stupid love, it happens to the almost every girl its a pity with you there is a baby involved..
Dont stress love, everything will be fine..just take care of that little angel

Best-Achiever
06 Nov 2008 09:54

your father is the one who provide shelter, love, education, and guidance, it doesn’t necessarily have to be your biological father… 

Hence the saying ethi "It takes only a responsible man to be a father NOT just a man who can get a women pregnant and be irresponsible"

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 09:58

well said Tynt!

it doesn't have to be a man you sleep with, maybe a friend or relative-but someone somewhere-will be the daddy to your baby...

Cody
06 Nov 2008 09:59

Centrepiece. it's true what Tynt! and Cande are saying. I know I found (found me rather) the perfect father for my baby, and my baby is not even born yet!. and gal quit saying your baby does not have a father, for now & forever your baby does have a father okay, although he is not a physical father, that is God. He will give you a physical father for your baby if you ask him.

belz
06 Nov 2008 10:01

Nice one Tynt, i was going to say its comforting to know that almost everyone has been or is the second woman, but its not its just bullsh*t!!!!!!!!  i cant accept it.

Cande
06 Nov 2008 10:03

he he he Belz when you are  my age you will understand..

belz
06 Nov 2008 10:05

LOL Cande!!!!!!!! wahlanya wena!!!!!! im not saying i havent been through it, i cant handle it, hence i end up using the guy, as a shag mate and im not that type of a person.

Tynt!
06 Nov 2008 10:08

lol @ cande!!! as funny as it sounds, its so tru... though u will never understand it up until u go thru it, however I still declare it wrong!!

Mopakistan
06 Nov 2008 10:10

When the time is right Centrepiece, your son will find the best dad ever… My father always say: your father is the one who provide shelter, love, education, and guidance, it doesn’t necessarily have to be your biological father…
Need not agonize yourself over the past… Heal first, and then move forward with the positive attitude.. Your turn to rejoice shall come..


this is very true ladies..i too have a son and he's never met his daddy but he has a perfect daddy now...eventhough he;s not his bio dad and we not married yet,he treats him like his very own...some things are just meant to happen and everything happens for a reason.

Renegade
06 Nov 2008 10:13

Belz phela nathing sibaningi angithi. And like the saying goes...Ppl must share...lol!

myname
06 Nov 2008 10:19

Ni buwa ha munati guys ka nete........i will just continue reading your replies. Morning,

Centrepiece
06 Nov 2008 10:22

I hear what you are saying my bloggerz but it is never easy when your child asks about his father, imagine " Mommy, why is my father not coming to pick me up from school, like Sya's (not real name) father". How do a mom answer that? It is so hurtful

Cody
06 Nov 2008 10:22

LOL Rene! true but sad.So ya the people shall share! LOL

Renegade
06 Nov 2008 09:13

I use to find G strings in my ex fiancees flat and all he told me is that sometimes at work they are required to wear g stings

BUAHAHAHAH! WHAT? NO WAY! Where does he work that would make you believe that. Actually you know what, I think when you are "in the moment", deep down you know that he's talking crap, mara you choose to believe that which he says,because it suits you.

Beyonce
06 Nov 2008 09:18

Guys im lost< what is this about?

Mopakistan
06 Nov 2008 09:18

ya true..its hard to fins a guy wihtout a grilfriend these days orif he doesnt consider the girl to be a grilfriend its just somebody he shags and once u get in the picture and he really loves u he ditches the girl.

Cande
06 Nov 2008 09:18

LOL@ Orie
Ja i think you need to just let him lie and not ask any further questions so that you see where will he end up with his lies..

Cody
06 Nov 2008 09:22

I use to find G strings in my ex fiancees flat and all he told me is that sometimes at work they are required to wear g stings

 kwa kwa kwa orie!!! maybe he was a cross dresser!!!

Tynt!
06 Nov 2008 09:27

Women are bearer of evolved fruits, for lack of better words. Funny that 70% of us have been trough arduous time (all sorts of abuse from the opposite sex). It’s not supposed to be this way, Women should be treated with respect!! The world would have never been the same devoid of women… This hurts a lot….

I am glad u finally found an apple of ur eye, the lady!!!

Orie
06 Nov 2008 09:28

No, my ex fiancee is a man and he is an auditor. 
@Rene.. i dint blive him for a sec, Just didnt want to waste my breath... Im talking about dirty old g stings some with little holes..

All i said Is i wonder if they will allow me to wear boxers at my work place.. and the condom story he always say he was musterbating (sp) so he didnt wnt to mess the bed

Toxic
06 Nov 2008 09:30

interesting read.........hoping to find my ONE some day.

Cande
06 Nov 2008 09:30

haiye le ndoda Orie, why do woman leave their g-strings there?? and condoms?? even if he had sex with his fiancee wasnt he supposed to dispose them?

Cody
06 Nov 2008 09:31

your ex was a piece of something orie!!!

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 09:31

ROTFLMAO...hayi Orie you had a playa hahaha...'masturbating and didn't wanna mess up the bed'

Best-Achiever
06 Nov 2008 09:32

Guys im lost< what is this about?

@Bee .. it iaabout the interview that the Observer had with TheLady after TheLady's response to "The Newlywed Bank Robbers" article

Renegade
06 Nov 2008 09:33

Lol, hai, it's a good thing we are speaking of him as an ex ke Orie

Tox, hai, mina I'm not sure THE ONE exists really, I don't know!

Best-Achiever
06 Nov 2008 09:35

i wash my hand and turn around Orie ...

Orie
06 Nov 2008 09:35

@Cody... He was a big piece of Siht.....that was one ugly player but it was lust and maybe it was bcos i was not confident that i will get some1 bettre. I am still single and i don c myself dating anytym soon. not after my intelligence has been insulted like that...

Cande
06 Nov 2008 09:35

Tox, hai, mina I'm not sure THE ONE exists really, I don't know!

you are NOT alone gal

Tynt!
06 Nov 2008 09:41

A friend of mine, once found the nyatsie’s clothes at their home. She knew who the nyatsie was and where she worked.. So she washed the clothes, went to the nyatsie’s workplace wearing the very same clothes the nyatsie left in da house. lucky for ma friend they were almost the very same size, en the clothes fitted much better on her than the nyatsie… ( BTW Nyatsie was a teller at Pick n pay, en husbie was the Manager)… She bought grocery and paid at the nyatsie’s cash register. Nyatsie was at awe and so was the husband, they couldn’t believe their eyes, and she (nyatsie) had nothing to say, as she knew there was going to be a huge street fight...

Hai!!! abanye bafazi!! why would you want to leave your grime @ another woman's house?

Centrepiece
06 Nov 2008 09:42

It is true this isht happens to ALMOST every woman, like me my baby today does not have a father even though he is still alive, because i just happened to be the other woman. This frustrates me more than anything else which is happening in my life right now!! It saddens me that because of my stupidity my son has to suffer more and more every day!!!

belz
06 Nov 2008 09:48

ROFL!!!!! @ Orie.

Tynt!
06 Nov 2008 09:49

When the time is right Centrepiece, your son will find the best dad ever… My father always say: your father is the one who provide shelter, love, education, and guidance, it doesn’t necessarily have to be your biological father…
Need not agonize yourself over the past… Heal first, and then move forward with the positive attitude.. Your turn to rejoice shall come..

Cande
06 Nov 2008 09:52

Centrepiece you were not stupid love, it happens to the almost every girl its a pity with you there is a baby involved..
Dont stress love, everything will be fine..just take care of that little angel

Best-Achiever
06 Nov 2008 09:54

your father is the one who provide shelter, love, education, and guidance, it doesn’t necessarily have to be your biological father… 

Hence the saying ethi "It takes only a responsible man to be a father NOT just a man who can get a women pregnant and be irresponsible"

TheLady
06 Nov 2008 09:58

well said Tynt!

it doesn't have to be a man you sleep with, maybe a friend or relative-but someone somewhere-will be the daddy to your baby...

Cody
06 Nov 2008 09:59

Centrepiece. it's true what Tynt! and Cande are saying. I know I found (found me rather) the perfect father for my baby, and my baby is not even born yet!. and gal quit saying your baby does not have a father, for now & forever your baby does have a father okay, although he is not a physical father, that is God. He will give you a physical father for your baby if you ask him.

belz
06 Nov 2008 10:01

Nice one Tynt, i was going to say its comforting to know that almost everyone has been or is the second woman, but its not its just bullsh*t!!!!!!!!  i cant accept it.

Cande
06 Nov 2008 10:03

he he he Belz when you are  my age you will understand..

belz
06 Nov 2008 10:05

LOL Cande!!!!!!!! wahlanya wena!!!!!! im not saying i havent been through it, i cant handle it, hence i end up using the guy, as a shag mate and im not that type of a person.

Tynt!
06 Nov 2008 10:08

lol @ cande!!! as funny as it sounds, its so tru... though u will never understand it up until u go thru it, however I still declare it wrong!!

Mopakistan
06 Nov 2008 10:10

When the time is right Centrepiece, your son will find the best dad ever… My father always say: your father is the one who provide shelter, love, education, and guidance, it doesn’t necessarily have to be your biological father…
Need not agonize yourself over the past… Heal first, and then move forward with the positive attitude.. Your turn to rejoice shall come..


this is very true ladies..i too have a son and he's never met his daddy but he has a perfect daddy now...eventhough he;s not his bio dad and we not married yet,he treats him like his very own...some things are just meant to happen and everything happens for a reason.

Renegade
06 Nov 2008 10:13

Belz phela nathing sibaningi angithi. And like the saying goes...Ppl must share...lol!

myname
06 Nov 2008 10:19

Ni buwa ha munati guys ka nete........i will just continue reading your replies. Morning,

Centrepiece
06 Nov 2008 10:22

I hear what you are saying my bloggerz but it is never easy when your child asks about his father, imagine " Mommy, why is my father not coming to pick me up from school, like Sya's (not real name) father". How do a mom answer that? It is so hurtful

Cody
06 Nov 2008 10:22

LOL Rene! true but sad.So ya the people shall share! LOL

let baby
07 Nov 2008 13:26

I feel for u centrepiece am in more or less same situation as u luckily i have my brothers who fill the father part so i dont worry much about dat

Cnglemother
08 Nov 2008 16:43

Centrepiece can u pls page through a book titled raising boys without men when visiting yo bookstore.its R157 at exclusive books.let baby keep yo head up babygal


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