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TheTVObserver: Stone's Rhythm In The City

Written by TheObserver from the blog TheTVObserver on 23 Jan 2009
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I am growing increasingly concerned with a certain storyline on Rhythm City. I thought I was alone until a group of friends started discussing the subject in reference to regular society. I was shocked to say the least. Stone's Rhythm In The City is very concerning and troubling but an obvious reflection of what is happening in our societies across the world


Apparently a significant number of husbands and boyfriends are dating or hooking up with men. I find this to be disgusting! With that, I don’t mean to imply that homosexuality is disgusting I am just pointing out that putting your wife or girlfriend at risk because you find it too taxing on your life to face reality is sick.

What happens next…. You give your wife or girlfriend a slew of diseases in your quest to quench you sexual thirst?

By the way his face reads: "I'm in the company of confusion but I dont care as long as I get some confusion to go home with me tonight"

The day Stone tried to pick up that confused looking guy was both funny to watch but alarming when in thought. I just could not help but laugh when Fats asked them how they know each other.

A psychologist friend who I asked a couple of questions told me something confusing. She said…”certain very heterosexual men can have a once off intense sexual and emotional connection which is compounded by experiencing true love with a same sexed person and it becomes very difficult for them to make sense of what they are going through. They will then act it out once and never go there again. They will even go to the grave with the secret”.



She continues to explain that very few men will act on those emotions and they will end up thinking that they are gay but in fact they are not. Hence some of these men can claim to have been cured, whereas there was nothing to be cured of.”


I asked...."what happens to those men who continue to be married and live double lives for the sake of family, church and society?". She said….”it becomes easier for them to live that lie because no one is going to question a happily married man if they see him in a restaurant on a date with another man. They will think anything but DATE”.


She then said “Certain men but not all homosexual men, are able to excite themselves to a point of arousal and they can sustain a sexual relationship with their wives. Although they don’t derive as much pleasure as when they are with men, they will fake it for the sake of the lie. They then run a chance of finding that guy they can’t resist which brings with it new complications and demands.”


When Stone had that gun and wanted to kill himself because he could not deal with the fact that he had feelings for another guy. It was very touching and I expected him to just be gay or bisexual. Also I just think he threw that fit because he did not want Thula dating that shuga daddy. But right now he seems too gay than bi. For me bisexuality is presented well by Len over at Isidingo but the bisexuals I’ve seen are too intense and very seductive…wait that is like the old, old old… Len.


Oh did you see how Swai grabbed Stone's hand and went off to dance the tango. Who knew they did it in Swazi's car! Anyway moving on....

On the other hand (LOL), I wonder if the viewers of this show in rural and township areas are having opinions on the case of Stone. Or do they just throw it to TV and hope he will disappear from their screen? Or do they just ignore it and get excited when the family talks marriage and lobola?


To my knowledge Stone has had three guys and possibly slept with two and had one close encounter. We all know that he is in love with Thula who is now dating his sister. My goodness this is more convoluted than Wisteria Lane. The bottom line is that he is painfully in love with Thula and the fact that Thula is free with his sexuality drives him insane. Good acting on the part of the actors.

In reality, the storyline rings true to many people’s lives. I find it very disturbing that a poor soul such as the character of Charlotte, who thinks she has found her dream man. Is about to have a rude reality check. How many girls, ladies or married females are involved with a gay guy who is playing straight? How many guys are so confused that they prefer to go straight just to keep up appearances?

Where are REAL HETROSEXUAL MEN?.... I guess ladies must stock up on Currie Cup tickets to find love?


Can you imagine being married to your husband and 20 years into the relationship with three kids to your belly, you discover that he is in fact homosexual, not bisexual but down right GAY! Who is to blame…could it be YOU for not realizing it sooner; or he was good at pretending and you never even had a reason to doubt him?


Stone can be confused by himself without involving his poor family in this mess of a marriage, relationship with Charlotte and his experiences with Sizwe. I should also note that the show’s attempt to bring to light the issue of “HEALING GAYNESS” was a stroke of excellence as most people “who are not gay” believe that gay people can be turned straight.

Denial is a very deadly state of affairs and Stone is swimming is jumbo sized pool of it.

Case #1
I have been married for over 40 years with two grown up children who still live at home. I am know my husband is gay. He secretly sees a man younger than our son. He talks to him several times a day and is always on the computer in chat rooms. He also clears the computer data every time he logs off. What can I do? I am very hurt at all this lies.

Case #2
I think my husband is gay. I am married 19 yrs, when i met my husband i was taken back because he was and still is very feminine. But I overlooked it because of I felt that just because he was femine it doens't always mean he is gay. Sometimes I was very embarrassed to bring him around to my friends because they all thought that he was gay. But now 19 years and 3 kids later we are still together. We are more like friends than husband and wife. We don't have sex at all, maybe once a of months sometimes more. he buys me cloths jewlery etc... even a bedspread for my bed. . but that is not what bothers me.. Sometimes i catch him on the Internet in gay chat rooms but I never say a word about it. But last night was the straw that broke the camels back. A very good friend of ours came out to us last night. And during our discussions I mentioned that I have a gay relative i would like to fix him up with. At that point my husband took out the photo album and showed him a picture of him. Then our friend was looking through the album and commented on how my husband looks so young and my husband asked him if he thought that he was hot.. I wanted to die..


There is nothing feminine about Stone and I know a lot of gay guys who are very straight looking and sounding, but the question is …..

What would you do if you found out that your husband is gay? Do you keep lobola as compensation for pain and suffering?

Now to make matters interesting….

If you have children with Mr. Man, do you continue with the marriage for the sake of children or do you just cut your loses and find Mr. Right who is straight?


Whilst digesting those questions, read this

Case #3
I'm a straight female living with a man who I think is in denial about being gay. I want to talk to him without a confrontation. I don't understand his feelings, but I don't want to hurt him like I'm hurting. I'm angry because of the deceit, but if he can't tell me, then he is living in his own hell on the inside. I have been with him for 5 years and I have seen some signs, but I don't know where to begin. I honestly don't want to ask him about his sexuality. I just know that I can't live this lie with him anymore and maybe he doesn't want me sexually, but he needs me for more than a cover. How can I talk to him about this without making him feel like dirt.

Case #4
My boyfriend Larry who i met last year in Stockport, has been acting really strange recently. I've noticed he's been spending a lot of time with a friend of his, he met watching football in Hamburg. But his behaviour is not like he's just friends with him, he talks about him as someone would do about their partner. I find it dead creepy, he spends a few nights a week at his place watching dvd's and doesn't come home. Plus i've been told by a friend, they've been seen togeather in the gay village in Manchester, when he's said he been watching City. Should i just come out with it? or am i just being stupid?
cosmopolitan.co.uk


I want you to also tell me if you think it's fare for Stone to marry Charlotte even thou he may very well be gay?

And

If you were Charlotte what would you do if you found your boyfriend/husband had sex with your male  friend and other men whilst you were together?

Rhythm CIty airs on etv at 18h30 monday to friday.

By The TV Observer
International Blog: http://www.thetvobserver.blogspot.com/
© 2009. TheTVObserver. All Rights Reserved. Pictures of Rhythm City appearing on this blog are property of their respective owners.

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35 Comments

Serenity
23 Jan 2009 07:35

If you were Charlotte what would you do if you found your boyfriend/husband had sex with your male friend and other men whilst you were together? 

Will probably be a shock of my life!! 
Not sure which is easier sharing your man with some bimbo...or sharing him with another guy.

Renegade
23 Jan 2009 07:49

I want you to also tell me if you think it's fare for Stone to marry Charlotte even thou he may very well be gay? 

It's completely nuts. But what I find very disturbing is the whole "I can be cured" part of it. I mean really! Stone is so unbelievably naive and stupid for a boy of his age, I mean, what is he expecting? Going to camps and what not...hai man!

If you were Charlotte what would you do if you found your boyfriend/husband had sex with your male friend and other men whilst you were together?

I don't know if having sex with a man is worse than if he was doing it with a woman. One school of thought says it is worse because it makes the woman feel like she actually turned her man off women...lol! But for me, it is worse simply because it's not only the cheating, but the lying about who you are.


TheLady
23 Jan 2009 08:14

What would you do if you found out that your husband is gay?
Am trying to think of a nice way to put the things I'd do to him...

Do you keep lobola as compensation for pain and suffering?
Yip buy a car (put it down as a deposit) personalize the plates ILOBOLO GP

makgotso
23 Jan 2009 08:16

I want you to also tell me if you think it's fare for Stone to marry Charlotte even thou he may very well be gay?  

No, it's not fair because she's gonna loose her self esteem once she find. 


What would you do if you found out that your husband is gay? Do you keep lobola as compensation for pain and suffering

OMG, I don't know but one thing for sure I will leave him. as for the lobola I will give him, it's not gonna make me feel better.

makgotso
23 Jan 2009 08:19

Yip buy a car (put it down as a deposit) personalize the plates ILOBOLO GP b-  hi hi hi hi, wuuuuuuu, kwa kwa kwa kwa........ can't help it but to laugh. TL hayi uyilacoste , tli tli tli tli

Renegade
23 Jan 2009 08:20

THe lobola part - Is it not customary/traditional that lobola does not go back? But ya, mina i'd def keep it.

nice
23 Jan 2009 08:31

What would you do if you found out that your husband is gay? Do you keep lobola as compensation for pain and suffering? 

Absolutely, but at the same time try and encourage him to come out and accept who he is, and being free himself. it must be very hard on any person to live a double life and knowing that you like men but are stuck with a woman just for cover.

The people in rural areas dont want to even discuss the gay subject and it is like someone said, lets live and let live -  meaning we are not sure if it is acceptable, but as long as it has not affected our small family/community lets just pretend that it does not exist. which is why some homosexual individuals are too afraid to come out.

…”certain very heterosexual men can have a once off intense sexual and emotional connection which is compounded by experiencing true love with a same sexed person and it becomes very difficult for them to make sense of what they are going through.

The statement above has left me confused, does it mean it is curiousity or a real thing for straight people?

tha - bang
23 Jan 2009 08:33

But u have to give it to Senzo and Wright they'e pulled off the characters and ambiguities that they find themself in.we all know this story does not have a happy ending. as for charlotte life is ard,deal with it LOL

blueroze
23 Jan 2009 08:35

I think Stone must accept the fact that he is *whatever he is* and tell Charlotte. It should be her decision to stay with him thereafter.

I do not like the fact that they(storytellers) potray God as a failing God (hence Stone did not get cured). It makes people to doubt God. I believe that when it comes to religion everything depends on ones faith.

If i were to find out that my partner is gay, i would leave him because i believe in God woh does not approve of gays.

The lobola is never to be returned to the family when breaking up, and no amount of money can heal the pain and betrayal one would have felt to realise that their partners never told them the truth about their sexuality.

This is a crazy world....but anyway we all make choices. 

Strolicious
23 Jan 2009 08:44

Do you keep lobola as compensation for pain and suffering?
Yip buy a car (put it down as a deposit) personalize the plates ILOBOLO GP......
.....ROTFLMBSAO

60 Plus Madala
23 Jan 2009 10:05

Yip buy a car (put it down as a deposit) personalize the plates ILOBOLO GP
Kwa kwa kwa kwa, hi hi hi hih hi hi, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
@TheLady, yho u caught my attention……LOL 
Whow, this seems like an interesting/ twisted storyline …and yet very relevant, its about tym I watch the soapie- thanx Observer - 4 the sake of our country, let me point some few factual errors; I am a patriot.....!
Apparently a significant number of husbands and boyfriends are dating or hooking up with men...
It is not “apparently”…. It’s a fact- research data/ evidence is there….!
What happens next…. You give your wife or girlfriend a slew of diseases in your quest to quench you sexual thirst?
This statement if factually misleading - the point is – any relationship with multiple sex partners increases vulnerability to STDs regardless of the gender of the sexual partners
On the other hand (LOL), I wonder if the viewers of this show in rural and township areas are having opinions on the case of Stone.
I think we give rural folks less credit that they deserve. In principle, there r mixed feelings about homosexuality in any societies (regardless of its suburb/ township/ rural status..). Although there are perceptions of ‘poor tolerance’, they have not been substantiated by any evidence-based data…! I fo one think the contrary- when I grew up in rural areas there was something which was called ama-chickini kuma relationship! I am not sure about the details of went on 2 these relationships- but it was like a senior girl dates a junior girl- (the boy friends of both would them form integral parts of these relationships! They would buy gifts, exchange love poems, kiss/ hugs, etc. There would be cat-fights if the junior girl is found 2 have more than one senior date… I am not sure if there were any ‘sexual’ moments. This was perfectly accepted- I may have not known it then, but surely sounds like homosexuality practice if its not an intro to it! Can someone explain this?
If you were Charlotte what would you do if you found your boyfriend/husband had sex with your male friend and other men whilst you were together?
Chop off the ‘wondering organ would be my immidite response-  LOL 
No, I think women would react in the way they normally react when they find out that their husbands are cheating: some will leave, some will accept & accept - I am reminded about of that story in desperate housewives- some priest had some hand jobs 4rm Andrew, & when Bree went 2 tel the wife- the wife was rather offended at Bree..& was tolerating @ huby behaviour…..!
certain very heterosexual men can have a once off intense sexual and emotional connection which is compounded by experiencing true love with a same sexed person
Yho……oooooppps, really? let me go & have my once off then….!

GML
23 Jan 2009 10:13

Thatha Stro. If I were in the situation I would honestly ask him about his feelings and what he thinks of gay people. I would suggest a 3sum (With a man) to see what his reaction would be. If he is all for the idea then i will get my answers. Men prefer a 3sum with other women and not with another man........

WhiteSockGirl
23 Jan 2009 10:30

Since I do not have access to SABC, I have not watched a single episode of Rhythm City. Even though I read most of the articles on TVSA, I don’t read many recaps, especially if I am not familiar with the show.

However, the Rhythm City scenario grabbed me.

<<‘Apparently a significant number of husbands and boyfriends are dating or hooking up with men. I find this to be disgusting!’>>

<< "what happens to those men who continue to be married and live double lives for the sake of family, church and society?". She said….”it becomes easier for them to live that lie because no one is going to question a happily married man if they see him in a restaurant on a date with another man. They will think anything but DATE”.>>>

On the Tyra show (yes, I know she is bad,… and I was that bored) and her show about ‘Married on the Down Low’… Hectic stuff.

Makes me wonder if we, society, make it this difficult for people to be just themselves? So, difficult, that they would as far to make the ultimate commitment to another person just to hide their trueselves. And in that destroy the happiness and lives of so many people. Sad… very sad.


<<For me bisexuality is presented well by Len over at Isidingo but the bisexuals I’ve seen are too intense and very seductive…wait that is like the old, old old… Len.>>

Ok, Observer,… leave Len alone, please? Len is my man. My bisexual intense man!

Eish, the good old times when DSTV was still showing us Isidingo… how do miss those days. Len is one of my favorite soapy star,… love that man!


<<If you were Charlotte what would you do if you found your boyfriend/husband had sex with your male friend and other men whilst you were together?>>

I will kill him!!!!!  I will be supportive as a friend for my gay and bi-sexual friends always, but I will not, be used as a closet!!!  I am way too fabulous for that.

Khafo
23 Jan 2009 13:27

Gosh.........this is truly something to think about. Losing a  man to a woman can be tolerated and move on but a man.................to actually explain that to friends and family, EISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dash
23 Jan 2009 16:03

Losing a man to a woman can be tolerated and move on but a man.................to actually explain that to friends and family, EISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel you, how do you explain it mara?? With me I wont tolerate even losing him to another woman, so he'll just die from heart attack by the thought that I know he's sleeping with a guy. Tjo mara nka mo dire eng??

tizoz
23 Jan 2009 16:41

Lovely article, these boys need uMsholozi to take over, rememba his statement "angeke ngivumele ungqingili ame phambi kwami, Ngingamshaya mina..." or something like that. So this whole thing is just getting out of hand. FB is like being in hell on earth every second person you chat to is dodgy. haikhona! I have to organise a rehab for gay people and they will do prayers and visualisations and they will be cured.

I find it dead creepy, he spends a few nights a week at his place watching dvd's and doesn't come home. Plus i've been told by a friend, they've been seen togeather in the gay village in Manchester, when he's said he been watching City. Should i just come out with it? or am i just being stupid?

I think you beng very dumb galfriend he is HAVING it in Manchester while you hugging the pillow at home.

jay 01
23 Jan 2009 22:28

tizoz iam maybe not understanding your piece but if it is what i think it is you go to hell. you have no idea wat its like to be gay and i will give you the 411. iam gay but i would tell you that it was not my choice, i just accepted who iam and i have moved on. i would never wanted to be gay, who in their right mind would want to put themselves through so much tocher. but i have made peace with it and iam happy. when people see gay man who are confident and proud they fill jealous becoz they have selfesteem issues and they cant stand seeing someone of sexuallity being content with their lives.most gay man have alter egos which allow us to take on life and all the crap that comes with being of sexuallity and that unsettles the rest of the world because they just dont know how we just carry on like a house on fire.

the only part about rc that i did not like is when stone just beggins to sleep with every tom, dick and harry because it is telling the people that if you are gay you just have an eraction for anyone with a cute ass and availlability which could not be more futher from the truth because some of us have had to fall in love first before we did the deed

Firstdvd
23 Jan 2009 23:20

@ jay 01 ~ for dat clarification, dankie son!

Beyonce
24 Jan 2009 08:33

TO-- this is great,
I think it is sad that this kind of thing happens more often thn we realize...

gaad let me go pray for my marriage tl tl tl tl tl

Beyonce
24 Jan 2009 08:33

TO-- this is great,
I think it is sad that this kind of thing happens more often thn we realize...

gaad let me go pray for my marriage tl tl tl tl tl

Cande
24 Jan 2009 09:41

shame B, LOL!!

TheObserver
24 Jan 2009 10:31

Nice - Absolutely, but at the same time try and encourage him to come out and accept who he is, and being free himself. it must be very hard on any person to live a double life and knowing that you like men but are stuck with a woman just for cover.
Great comment and it made me feel very warm inside. If I had a prize I will ship some Sally Williams hamper, your way. LOL. Great comment

The statement above has left me confused, does it mean it is curiousity or a real thing for straight people? No according to the therapist...it’s very rear but it happens to a small amount of men. Who would then confuse the intensity of their feelings for being gay.

Here is a reminder from the movie Brokeback Mountain, Directed by Ang Lee. With Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal. It may help or confuse you some more:

Jack Twist: Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Ennis! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that! That's all we got, boy, fuckin' all. So I hope you know that, even if you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short *bleep!* leash you keep me on - and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you'll kill me for needing somethin' I don't hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't make it on a coupla high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Ennis, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.
Ennis Del Mar: [crying] Well, why don't you? Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you Jack, that I'm like this! I'm nothin'... I'm nowhere... Get the *bleep!* off me! I can't stand being like this no more, Jack.

Jack Twist: I wish I knew how to quit you.

Ennis Del Mar: Bottom line is... we're around each other an'... this thing, it grabs hold of us again... at the wrong place... at the wrong time... and we're dead.

blueroze - I think Stone must accept the fact that he is *whatever he is* and tell Charlotte. It should be her decision to stay with him thereafter.
Cool comment.

As for the part about G-d, I thought that was too risky and badly dealt with. I guess they (producers) were trying to send a point to people who believe G-d can change gay people. Fact is they are born that way no matter how much those who are not gay may wish they change. Cool comment thou.

60 Plus Madala.....What happens next…. You give your wife or girlfriend a slew of diseases in your quest to quench you sexual thirst? This statement if factually misleading - the point is – any relationship with multiple sex partners increases vulnerability to STDs regardless of the gender of the sexual partners

That was not a statement Madala, it was a question, I did include a question mark. Fact of the matter is that the M2M tango is very risky if not done correctly and if you go full anal and come back home to dance again with your wife. Considering the fact that Stone might not be using protection with Charlotte for obvious reasons, and he might also be subjecting his condoms with his M2M hookups to extreme and hazardous environments of business. Hence the question - not a statement! If you intervie

TheObserver
24 Jan 2009 10:41

Continues....
Gyllenhaal's character was too powerful. I mean he drove miles to get some and they both had families. But that is not the issue, the issue is the females, its not fare on them. They should be given the choice to accept that type of relationship or not.

From BM:
Ennis Del Mar: We can get together... once in a while, way the hell out in the middle of nowhere, but...
Jack Twist: Once in a while? Every four fuckin' years?
Ennis Del Mar: If you can't fix it, Jack, you gotta stand it.
Jack Twist: For how long?
Ennis Del Mar: For as long as we can ride it. There ain't no reins on this one.

WSG…. Makes me wonder if we, society, make it this difficult for people to be just themselves?
I guess we do because with our estate living and body corporate systems, we create clusters of what we think society should be. Anyone who does not fit we treat them bad and deny them any rights because they are not like us. That is why people are comfortable with having the homeless and starving children, you continue to eat, cloth your self and buy things you don’t need without a thought to another human being who is suffering. If its not you why bother…is the mentality, yet you have no problem subjecting your viewers and opinions to the very same people.

About LEN...well well.... I guess your crush is powerful. Heads up dear ...since you can’t watch the show....He does not look as HOT as before...he needs a make-over ASAP. He looks a bit on the nasty!

Khafo & Dash I guess the most painful part is that you trusted them and they did not tell you the most important element. Give the lady a choice! This is a new version of cheating!

tizozo FB is like being in hell on earth every second person you chat to is dodgy. I hear you. They should change FB to PickupZone.

Great comments guys I loved reading them.

"You can’t control what other people do with their lives but you can demand honesty in the one person who asks of you, trust, love and companionship" TheTVObserver

TheObserver
24 Jan 2009 10:50

jay 01 Thank you for your comment and it posted by a gay person makes it all the more valuable. I think the problem is that most people do not understand and from their lack of understand they make statements which are always not well informed. Hence the problem, but when they see situations such as Stone and it happens closer to home. They create an opinion about being gay which creates all the problems. Asking gay men to change is like asking every heterosexual men to change their penis to a vijayjay! Its not going to happen. Let them be!

The issue here is not being just about being gay but the fact that Stone’s situation is a reflection of society and it raises questions for those who are married and those who think their partner is also only heterosexual. I agree with you that how the producers made Stone to be forever on the “look-out” for some action whenever we feels frustrated, is very sick especially as they introduced him as a sound and principled character. But you know, these good guys are suppressing some heavy emotions and when they are pushed by the likes of Thula (gay or not) they become strangers. Thanks for your great comment.

jay 01
24 Jan 2009 15:42

i do agree with you completely and to beyonce i just want to say i feel your confusion because once in my life a married man aked me out and when i told my friend, she became confused and wanted to know what to look out for. well the thing is gay people have a gaydar that makes them aware of other gays when they walk into a room.why? because they need them, i think women also need to equip themselves with gaydars so that they can watch out for all the signs.

when stone started acting weird towards thula i could tell that they was an underlying attraction and i told my cousin but she thought it was wishful thinking on my part. but now look at wat happened. so in my opinion women need to look out for signs and they are really there but sometimes one is in denial. i hope i will be able to help all my sisters out there and that is why iam writting a book cold JAY'S GUIDE ON HOW TO GAY PROOF YOUR MARRIEGE. i hope it will come handy as i try to give a first hand account of how supposedly happily married man have countlessly tried to sneak into my pants and the pathetic reasons they gave.

jay 01
24 Jan 2009 16:08

sorry guys for my two mistakes the first one is"married man asked" and not aked. the second one the book is "called and not cold. ciao

tizoz
25 Jan 2009 18:16

Jay ma baby apologies if I offended u or anyone, my statement I wrote jokingly, and believe me I know very well wot it's like to be in your situation...

GodsArt
25 Jan 2009 18:32

Thanx Observer for this topic, I am a gay man myself and it has not been easy. I am a Christian and pretending to be something I am not and people have their own expectations that one day I would be married to a woman and I know deep down that I would not be happy and it won't be fair to the woman I would be marrying. Yes the sistas are there and they see a potential brother who will make a perfect husband, only if they knew. Being gay is something is something I would not wish on anyone, u see these hot guyz at church and the only thing u can do is to fantasize. I remember one time at my church the preacher said God was showing him a young man who was struggling with homosexuality and God wanted to release him and I knew that it was me but I did not have the courage to go up front, but then they called also called other people who were struggling with other stuff and thats when I decided to go because I was not going to be alone. They prayed for us all and from that moment I got rid of all the gay mags I had and started focusing on the word of God and praying for this thing to go away and things seemed to change as I was no longer thinking about men. But then again there's a time when it becomes dry and you don't feel like studying the word of God and you lose direction, then u back to square one....

GodsArt
25 Jan 2009 18:45

...I thought I would stop thinking about men but I can't. One thing I know is that only God knows what will happen concerning my life. Marrying another man is something I will never do though...yes I do want to have kids. I can relate to the Rythm City story line. What has sustained me though is focusing on God and not on man. There are a lot of gay man in the church who are deep in the closet but because of church pressures they will never come out and they will die with the secret. Its very easy for people to judge and yes you will never tell that I am gay when u see me. I don't look feminine at all but I know and God knows

Brown Shuga
25 Jan 2009 19:08

<<<Marrying another man is something I will never do though...yes I do want to have kids....>>>

<<<There are a lot of gay man in the church who are deep in the closet but because of church pressures they will never come out and they will die with the secret>>>


Wow!! That is so sad...that you are alive but can't live life the way that you want to...what's the point?

Firstdvd
25 Jan 2009 23:02

GodsArt ~ i like the name...God will always be here to guide you. Okay, you've accepted the situation of being gay and you still want to have children one day. How w'd you do it? Gods plan is to see us (happy) enjoying life while we can. Are you?

GodsArt
26 Jan 2009 08:39

How w'd you do it? >> I have no idea, but God will make a way

I am happy Firstdvd, everyday when I wake up I pray "Let thy will be done with my life Lord" and I have to remember that this ain't about me but about living a life that is pleasing unto him. My priority is only God not people. If it does happen that people find out, so be it.

cuz-cuz
26 Jan 2009 13:05

is senzo(gen)gay

NtandoN
26 Jan 2009 13:53

According to my experience there's nothing wrong with being gay, they are just normal as everyone. It was said that God created men in his own image, it did not say normal, disabled or gay!

Some people are born gay/lesbian, I have a gay friend that I grew up with, he has been gay since the age of 5 when we met. When we were playing with cars and guns he was playing with dolls and other girls staff.

Churches nowadays condemn being gay/lesbian instead of preaching the Gospel, the bible doesn't say that it is wrong to be gay but it says intercourse between the persons of same sex is wrong. 

So being gay is really not your choice but you're born like that, but certain people like Somizi Mhlongo have made it easy easy for the society to accept that being gay is an option. I think Somizi was born gain but he tried hard to fight it thinking that if he becomes involved with a woman and have a kid will change him. Look at where he is right now back to square one.

jay 01
26 Jan 2009 22:12

godsart iam sorry that u seem to be having so much pain but i have told myself that i will always be a parent. adoption is always an option and so is a sarrogate mother. weigh your options and remember they are a loy of orpharned kids who will nid the stability of a parent even a gay parent


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