I have been observing a scene on 7de laan, which left me confused and conflicted. When it comes to parents, I have the strictest in the world in my opinion! There has never been a friend or colleague who has survived an encounter with my mother, period.
This brings me to the current storyline with Errol and his mother on 7de laan.
Errol and his mother are involved in what I consider to be a very bad relationship which is a result of either a lack of parenting skills or communication. But regardless of those factors, accurate or not, Errol as a child does not deserve to experience what he is going through, even if it’s from his mother.
I know a lot of your guys may think he is no better than hundreds if not thousands of other kids in South Africa, but does it make it right?
It is obvious that his mother has not had any grasp of parenting, perhaps the result of having to abandon a child at a younger age and living her life as if she never had one to begin with. I know in real life this is NEVER an easy situation and women all over the world and especially in South Africa, give away children or even worse kill them after birth. For reasons only they and those in the same situation can understand. So this is a bigger problem than most would like to discuss or face, since it does not concern them. As for the likes of Errol, it is a living nightmare at the hands of the very person you trust to protect you and keep you safe.
Would it have made any difference if Errol was sexually abused? Would people pay close attention because it would’ve involved lascivious sexual conduct? Or does it make it better if he is neglected and being made to act like his mother’s pillow and comforter whilst he is in need of a stable home, where he can be a child considering what he has been through?
This is such a difficult issue since it involves personal levels of right and wrong, including pride and ego, and almost always the child bears the brunt of it all. What I think, is PROTECT THE CHILD, PROTECT THE CHILD! This is FAIL SAFE situation – you better fail but the child be safe, than succeed or be right whilst the child is in danger.
The show is doing a great job in how the issue was introduced and presented. I believe those who watch the program and have been in similar situations can identify. The great thing about 7de laan is that the storylines flow swiftly and they end at a high and equally reciprocated by new stories. If you don’t like a certain story, you know that the show does not spend a lot of time on either, but most encouraging is that with all of life’s problems. 7de laan always throws some party, which some people hate but I like it, as it gives the show its unique “brighter future and new day” type spin to sadness and never ending pain and sorrow.
Did Errol have to hear how he was conceived at his age? Did his mother need to be that detailed? Considering the very fact that, this is the story he will use as a bar, with which he judges his life? I mean c’mon, he will go through a personal crisis and all of sudden begin thinking….
”what I am good for, my dad was a truck driver who boned my mum and left her with me, only for her to also leave me! Someone has to be there to assure him, like a mother would, that he is better than the circumstances of his conception. The Mentjies tried but lost to genetics.
Is it fair for Errol to be his mother’s comforter at his age; couldn’t her mother go to Aggie or Emma for comfort?
Did Errol have to be subjected to his mother’s abusive boyfriend during final exams; couldn’t she have gone to Charmaine and asked that the child spend some time there whilst writing his exams? I know, she can’t because she is afraid of loosing the child. But doesn’t a mother do what’s best for the child, even if it means she does not have total control?
I know I am asking a lot of questions. This is due to fact the that there can never be a one size fits all solution, in problems like these. The best a person can do is to try an understand, instead of passing blame or judgment. Asking questions enables understanding and avoids assumptions.
When I told my school teacher about how hard my mother is on me sometimes. What happened next remained in my head for years. She (my mother) made a school visit to explain to my teacher (after she called her) that unless she spent over 13hours in pure agony trying to get me out of her v jay jay, she has no right indulging my fantasies of happy family. All she is supposed to do is teach me something that will make me a successful human being, as she continues to pay my fees to ensure just that. Needless to say, she got the poor lady fired. Terrified, I became the very silent type in class.
There are a lot of questions and I think the writers of 7de laan are doing a good job at highlighting them without prejudice. This is possibly the most frustrating of storylines on the show because one can’t demand that the mother of the child be thrown out, but yet again if she is a bad mother, is she a bad mother because we are comparing her to Charmaine? Also is she bad? Or she has not tapped into her motherly instinct yet?
Unfortunately, her decision to go after the man who nearly hit her son and neglect the very child she professed to need and want, makes her look bad. Going as far as securing a job for social services to look kindly at her strides, only for her to loose that job and avoid the new job opportunity Emma found for her, all for a man. All this brings us back to the emotions we had about this lady when she first confronted Charmaine that she wants her child back.
These are the stories I found about bad mothers:1.)
My own mother was just an awful person. She was physically and mentally abusive to me. She abandoned my siblings with a neighbor and took me and left, because I was the youngest and easiest to handle. And although I have wanted kids ever since I can remember and am now pregnant, I am terrified that I might be a terrible mother like her.2.)
Im just really mean to my kids cant stop yelling at them and i just dont know how to change i wanna be a good mom just dont know how to be I didnt have one. 3.)
I had a bad mother too and promised myself I would never be like her. I am always scared that I will become her, but I feel that because I fear it, it will actually help me stay away from those behaviors that had ruined my childhood. Martins_momI understand that women suffer depression after giving birth where they are bombarded by thoughts of killing their new born. But when you have not been around, like Errol’s mom, yet you still value your boyfriend more than your child. What does that mean, or could it be the fact that such a value hasnt placed on the child, to a degree where other things or people take more priority?
Another element is how mothers who have children under the same cercumstances as Errol's conception, will hold grave recentment towards the child. As they claim, "the child reminds them of the father". Much like victims of rape, would defend thier actions towards abusing thier own children born from rape.
Now Errol misses the love and care he got from her foster mother as he confronts living in the absence of his birth mother, whilst she embarks on a trip to bring back emotional, verbal and physical abuse from Ermelo….”
that’s the only way my baby!” Jocylen. My goodness.
For men, it is always very difficult to date women with children. I always advice that you accommodate children when you are divorced and if you are not, don’t, unless you have to. If you find yourself in that situation, don’t date the mother get to know the child in comparison with your affections with the mother. If you are looking to get some, get some and go, but make sure its clear with the other party (single parent or not). Because the last thing single parents need in my opinion is an IN and OUT type guy, and not in that filthy manner your brain is processing. I mean that, for the sake of children, they don’t need to be exposed to every possible boyfriend. The last thing you need is to be with Brain and your child asks “where is Steve?”.
What do you think, do you believe that Errol’s mother is bad or her lack of parenting skills makes her look bad? Or do you have an opinion which will allow us to debate and discuss in order to understand this issue better? Especially opinions from single parentss!
Jocelyn Pieterse played by Keziah Jooste, you are talented. I have never for one second doubted your character. As for Christo Lloyd Davids who plays Errol, I think your ability to solicit empathy from viewers is amazing but it would be great to see you give a range which would not associate your face with shame, sympathy, and all those feelings.
The Observer’s Review’s GREAT story arcs and delivery
You ALWAYS find a positive outcome
A very UNIQUE soap as compared to others
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