The Observer presents the sixth interview of the series on love and the stupid things we do. To provide added commentary on LM’s interview would be to taint what is perhaps the most interesting of interviews in the series. Within it, we learn so much, but find a heart of gold in the process.
This heart looks to me to be in need of some good loving. I also find curious her newly found possible BEE mate, even though LM can very well ride that BEE Gold Card for all its worth… LM looks at from a different perspective than most.
----- THE INTERVIEW -----
"The Observer interviews LM"
For The Observer's Love Story Series
How long were you that relationship?The whole relationship lasted for about eight months.
How would you rate that relationship 1-100, 100 being amazing?I would say it was at least 90, but that was before I was made aware of the kind of game he was playing. See I later found out that he likes to charm and go out with matured young or even older women who had stable jobs or moneyed. And on the side he had his chikitas whom he went clubbing with.
Did you ever discuss living together or were you already living together?We briefly discussed it. He was living at his own place and I at my own crib.
Where you the only one thinking of getting a place?No both of us wanted to even though we never actively went out there to look for properties available on the market.
Was that person employed?Yes. He is an electrician working for one of beverage manufacturers in the east rand.
Did you expect a joint bond or you were willing to take care of it?I was expecting a joint bond and when I look back now I don’t know how I was gonna do this because I had already bought a property. Who knows, maybe I would have sold it and used the proceeds as deposit for a new place “I was still in infatuation phase anyway”
What part of that relationship did you like? I liked the way he was so attentive to me. He would cook for me, take me out for lunch, massage me, and run me a bath... When I was hospitalized for two days after I got involved in a car crash in early 2006 he was there for me. He even helped me with his car to run some errands because mine was written off “I think all in all he is a great guy” it’s just that he is a womanizer and a bit of a money grabber. He can do well as toy boy
Did your friends like him? Two of my friends never liked him. They said he looked and behaved like a charmer/playa
When you heard the news of the “card” showcase what did you feel at that moment?I was angry, shaking and couldn’t even speak properly. I didn’t understand how a person could behave like that when I was trying to help him and get him out of (not a good word). I mean his car broke down on the side of the road and was towed to the dealer for diagnosis repairs and service that was skipped a couple of months earlier.
What was the next thing you did? He he he he he he All was forgiven. I was still deeply in love or infatuated at that moment. tsk tsk tsk tsk
When you spoke to him about it did you get into fight? Not really I’m not good at shouting or fighting. I told him my story and he told me his. He said he told one of his colleagues that his money dilemma is over because I lent him my credit card to use for the repairs. I didn’t buy that completely as I didn’t understand how other people got to see my card, which was said to be blue
When, after the news, did you break it off?About 3 months. This is after I went through his phone and found a trail of many women he was seeing. One of them was his ex whom he had a one night stand with and made her pregnant. The friend that alerted me about the credit card thing has actually warned me about him from the beginning but didn’t give me details because she was his friend and colleague. She just told me to look after myself. After we broke up a whole lot of people working with him I got to meet and these people at their monthly get together which my lady friend was also part of started coming to me and telling me how they were wondering what I was doing with him. He brought a new chikita to the stokvel every time I was unable to attend.
Do you still think of him?No, not in that way! When I look at him and think back, I actually laugh at myself when I recall that I once cried for him and also was intimate with him. We get along just fine now. We visit each other sleep over but don’t share a bed and sometimes even cook at each other’s places. He hopes that we will pick up from where we left off but….. naaah I’m no longer there.
What did you do or say to the girlfriend who alerted you to the news? Nothing much, I thanked her. She pleaded with me not to say a word to him about the credit card but I did. I didn’t reveal the person who told me but since he knew who he was flashing it at, he went straight to her and another male friend and gave them a piece of his mind.
Did he pay for the repairs?Yes, he paid the credit card installments even though I struggled to get the last two payments.
How did you get him to pay for the card expenses including that interest? I gave him my saving account number, the monthly amount as shown on the account statement which included interest and the branch deposit fee. I guess he had some good principles left in him because if he didn’t want to pay for it he wouldn’t have and there was nothing I would have done about it because I gave him permission to use my card he didn’t steal it.
How do you feel about trust and money now?My motto now is: A ke jole ka chelete - I don’t support a grown ass man financially. If a man or a friend for that matter requires some emergency cash there are loan sharks legal and illegal bank personal loans and stuff out there.
What advice do you have based on your experience? Love is a very complicated thing and will make you do things you never thought you are capable of. So I’m unable to give any advice where relationships are concerned because when love has arrived it will just dilute the whole wisdom thing.
Did you ever find “normal” love? If yes, do tell! If not - tell us why.No. I just got out of a relationship where I was the other woman. The guy had/s a baby mama and all sorts of things were promised to me “eish it’s a long story guys” anyway I flipped when he replied to an sms I sent him in which I enquired why he was quite. He accused me of jeopardizing his divorce with my sms because his baby mama has found it and forwarded it to her phone so that she can use in court as evidence. I flipped because all this time I “knew” that he was not married and I vowed never to go out with a married man. The fact that he was divorcing didn’t even console me at all.
Ohh on Monday 03/11/08 when I was on my way from Limpopo I met this man in Polokwane town. I gave him my number and damn this man can phone jong. He calls 15 times a day plus SMSs which I don’t reply to. He even bought me flowers, my very first bunch of flowers. He is starting to irritate the crap out of me. Why him? why didn’t I meet a man I can go out and have a lovely relationship with heh? This one is not lookable let alone shaggable and he is a bit old ke Mopedi. I don’t do well with Pedi, Tswana and Sotho men no offence guys. It’s 16:50 06/11 now and I must go meet him for dinner at some glitzy restaurant, “I’m tempted to switch off my phone and just be unavailable for him eve. If I pursue this with him it will only be for his material things, he is an advocate “BEE what what” and I don’t think I’ll be able to do that “why mara” why are things so deur mekaar and unfair like this”
LM's story is very interesting to say the least, but LM demonstrates empowerment beyond her infatuation. And LM leaves me with this
"Sorry Observer and bloggers I was just venting my frustrations"
----- THE END -----
This interview was conducted and published with the consent of LM, is a tvsa.co.za member.
Related Links:
The Observer: Interview with ToxicThe Observer: Interview with Pitch The Observer: Interview with RenegadeThe Observer: Interview with The LadyThe Observer: Interview with Let Baby By The Observer
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