The Observer presents the third edition of the love story series as Renegade gives us an insight into her love story. What I found very interesting about Renegade despite the interview was that Renegade started off by sharing the following:
“I’ve always wanted to be interviewed but I’ve always said I wanted to be interviewed for something I had done to contribute to world peace or stability but since I’m not there yet this will have to do. I’m kidding I’d be glad to answer your question”. I personally believe Renegade is contributing in more ways than one to world peace and the stability of stupid love.
----- THE INTERVIEW -----
"The Observer interviews Renegade"
For The Observer's Love Story Series
1. How did you meet?At work. We both started at the same time but it was only when we went out with a whole lot of colleagues about 5 months later that we hooked up.
2. How long where you involved?About 9 trying months.
3. Did he feel the same way about you?At the time I thought so, now I doubt it. He felt something yes, but it wasn’t enough.
4. Besides love what there something else that made you drive 180km to see this guy?Well at the time he was my only “boyfriend”; and the prospect of getting to see him just to share his company was enough for me. Now that I think about it wasn’t ”love” that I felt. Although at the time I could have described it as such but I know better now.
5. Did he ever offer to return the favor? _Driving 180km to see youThing is, we work together but I work at the central office he works at the depots closer to where he stays. But on occasion, once or twice a week he’d have to come to the central office to see his boss or fill in time sheets or whatever. So he’d see me then. But weekends I did the driving.
6. How did you find out that he was a loser?The day he told me he was being forced to marry the mother of his child. At first I “sort of” believed him but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was just a way out for him. My eyes starting opening at that point and I really saw all his faults and I mean all of them, and slowly but surely I started asking myself “What was I doing with that guy?”. Also he once borrowed R500 from me on pay day nogal saying he hadn’t been paid. I got R400 back of it after months of asking and I’m still waiting to get the remaining R100. That was another instance of “loser”;
7. How did you break it off? Did you just stop driving those crazy miles and he got the picture or you had something more creative that you did to compensate for those miles?I just stopped driving the miles. What happened after he told me the marriage thing was that I started to pull away at the realization that this guy is just not on. And the more I pulled away the more he wanted to come. I remember we didn’t talk for a long time over a month and one day I had to call him over work stuff and he thought that meant the beginning again; I mean honestly
8. Where you ever in the same city at any time during your relationship besides having to drive so far to be with him?Only when he came to the central office.
9. Are you now dating closer or are you still a long distance fan?No I’m dating closer now.
10. What was it about him that made you drive that far?I honestly don’t know. He wasn’t anything like the “prim and proper”; guys I usually date. He was more like a rural boy from KZN who had come to Jozi and wised up a bit but kept his ruralness. I like that. And he was a bit “not so intelligent”; so the things he’d say sometimes used to crack me up and in a way endeared me to him.
11. Did you ever meet with him after your break up?Yes I still see him from time to time.
12. What advice do you have for someone dating long distance?I’ve dated a longer distance that this 180km return. I once dated a guy I met at varsity and after graduation he went back home to Tanzania. To cut a long story short it didn’t work out. However here is my advice for long distance relationships:
- Long distance cannot be long distance forever. You need to have a limit on how long it will be a long distance relationship. Otherwise there is nothing to look forward to.
- Communication, communication, communication. While this is necessary in ever relationship, it is extremely imperative in long distance. Phone email, skype, whatever you need to be in touch and I’m not talking once a week here by the way, it has to be frequent.
- Visits. In some cases it may be impractical but where it is possible you need to make an effort to see each other.
- I know Westlife says “l’d drive all day”, take that flight across the oceans; but if you know it’s not worth it don’t waste resources please like I did. Because I can tell you now if I’d sat down and thought about it I’d have realized he’d never do the same for me.
13. Did you ever feel used?Hmm that’s a tough one. Thing is I wasn’t ever forced to do anything. All I did was the distances I drove, which were all out of free will, so I don’t blame him and thus don’t really feel used just stupid. I got what I wanted at the end of the day. I just think the cost was a bit much.
14. What was it like when you found someone closer to home?Well right now. I’m with someone closer to home. It’s still early days.
15. Did you ever find “normal love”? If yes, do tell. If not - tell us why“Normal love” hehe. Like I said it’s early days and it feels good but that’s what early days are supposed to feel like isn’t it? I must say though the guy I’m with now is extremely different from that other one and I notice it more because I know what I’m not looking for. Sure he has his faults but honestly he’s not a loser far from it.
----- THE END -----
This interview was conducted and published with the consent of Renegade, a tvsa.co.za member.
By The Observer
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