I'm talking today about my favourite topic of all time: MEN! How I adore these funny little creatures! And they come in all sorts of packages - the silly, the good, the fabulous, the lame and the dumb!
I've said a few times I like ama ruff-necks/ruff-riders/bo-mrider! I realise now that needs a bit of elaborating. There's one damned fine quality a ruff neck personifies which is an absolute turnon. Now one does not necessarily have to be a ruff-neck to have this epitome of sexiness. Ama ruff-necks are normally fearless. And this fearlessness leads them to getting what they want when they want it! I'm not talking about a person forcing you or being aggressive when you say NO. I'm talking about a man taking charge. A man recognising chemistry between himself and a woman and coming up to that woman and telling it like it is! "I want you, you want me, how about I take you out and see where it leads us?"
Men take heed - this is a MAJOR turnon for women! You can be the quietest, sweetest, most adorable...any type of man and you can still have a little bit of that! Trust me, I know. I've dated a coupla guys in my time whose looks did nothing for my libido but the fascination of that confidence nje was a major boost!
Sometime back I met (I'll explain how later) this guy who seemed keen on getting to know me. I don't remember much about his approach then but I remember I wasn't interested/ready at the time so I brushed him off. Now I don't know if it's the festive air or I am NOW REALLY READY for POSSIBILITIES...whether friendship, love, lust, marriage (hehehe) whatever! I'm ready to let men into my life. So this dude (note I only refer to a guy as dude when I'm highly unimpressed by him) has kinda kept contact the last few months and lately I've given him the impression I am APPROACHABLE. hehehe.
Now I don't know about other ladies out there but as I said I like my Alpha male - a man's gotta take charge abe yi ndzodza! But brother man seems to be lacking in so many ways...Firstly, he doesn't call me. Always emails or sms's. And he'd say funnly things like "waiting for your call" or "hope you give me a buzz this weekend just to say hi" and I'm like WTF?! Miss Fabulous call you?! I sent him an sms saying yeah I may be busy sometimes but like everyone I do welcome a little distraction every now and then. Haai, he didn't get it! The requests for me to call him kept coming in. Then I got fed up and called him and asked if he's got fingers and knows how to dial a no! I thought OK, this is it, he'll now make his move....*sigh*
Thursday evening SMS:
Angel, like the one who was waiting for Goddot, I am waiting for you to get in touch with me.
My reply:
Who is Goddot?!
Silence for sometime...then Sunday evening he sends another one (which I deleted so I can't quote verbatim...he says something like he was at work and wanted to call but didn't want to intrude in case I was with friends or family or, now this I quote, "God forbid, Punku's dad!". Eish ja...I reply saying something like I'm Punku's dad and the mere mention of him in that way absolutely ruffles my feathers. He replies saying "Sorry. Thoroughly chastened. Pse contact me tmrw" Double sigh! And aside from Mills n Boon and the like, who uses such phrases as "thoroughly chastened"?!
Monday evening he sends another sms which I've unfortunately also deletd...he says something about Sandton, Woodmead etc etc having no power and how he can't even go get takeout and he's hungry. Now the only thing I read into this is SANDTON! Ohhhh Lord abo daddy ba achievile baya khinya man! I really DID NOT need to know u live amongst the Fabulously Rich! Thoroughly bored (nice one Keles!) I reply saying he can easily make a sandwich and he really shouldn't be complaining cos us peeps from lokshin have had this problem for yrs and this is only just started with them!
This past Sunday in the morning:
I am thinking about you from sunrise to sundown. Hath someone cast a spell on me? Today, when I was preaching at the tabernacle (WTF is this?!), my mind was focused on Kele.
Now this type was not a first...I had one before that said something like "I am..." I wanted to scream YOU ARE *bleep!* WHAT???
Finally I was tired of all this rubbish and I sent him this:
There's probably only 2 ways u'll take this - either run off with your tail between your legs and I neva hear from you again OR you can dust yourself off and try again...You keep sending me these msgs. Some with even half sentences, and i get u're expecting me to say something. There's really nothing I can say! The only thing i c is it's like you're waiting for ME 2 take charge and do all the work 4 u! It doesn't work that way. If u want something u have to go out there and get it!There's something called the Alpha male, i'm sure u know all about that. I wud rather not say what I think of all these "declarations". I wud rather not think of htem at all. ONe thing i will be blunt about is that you're a grown-ass man and really this behaviour is rather high schoolish and childish. And i don't mean to be rude but i just can't think of any other way of being blunt. And i guess i'll know soon enough which way you'll take this...
After sending that I kept thinking haa Kele that was a bit harsh...then I thought haai suka! Someone needs to put him in his place maan! He was silent for awhile. And i started thinking he really has run off with that tail between his legs...but then heard a beep and:
Thanks for your pearls of wisdom and rare enlightenment you have sent me.
Such words and pharases again! I don't know how many times I had told him to speak proper English! And i thought...is this a diss? Is he in some way dissing me? LOL but ke i kept my itchy fingers from asking him exactly this. Later on in the day I got this - which absolutely made MY day!:
I want to let you know, as I know you won't contact me again - you'll be brave to - that you've missed a golden opportunity.
Hey wa bona ge mona ke i chwatlile eseng ga nnyane! (I cracked myse) GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY! Haai ja some people do come up with them! I replied saying something like since i've neva met (i really haven't and it's not like this dude has made the effort to...) u i really wouldn't know what a golden opportunity u r. clearly u didn't read into the challenge i gave u in my other reply...
And wonder of wonders, he replies almost immediately with this:
Let me say it for both of us: I love you.
sigh sigh sigh times 100!!!!!
My reply:
I GIVE UP!
Really now this is RIDICULOUS! I mean, do they still make them that way??? This is really the type of thing high school kids used to do and I doubt kids nowadays still do...what kinda ish is this? To make things worse, I did a little investigation, as I always do when chatting to people I don't "know" and the only thing i cud find is that he's a very successful journo...some articles have referred to him as a BEE and an executive...the man is 40! 40 Madoda! He banna! That's why kere lona bo daddy ba achievile la lapisa man! U expect all your successes and money to speak for you. Haaisuka!
I don't know why I broke my rule - of staying away from men who are more than 8 yrs older than me. But I am NEVER AGAIN GOING TO BREAK THAT RULE! Modimo we...