What would Jesus do??
Each and everyone of us is made by different circumstances that influences the people we become as we grow up (character), the decisions we make and the things we do in general. There may be similarities in the things we go through, but there is always several things that are different in our respective lives that make our responses to similar situations (trials) different. That is why it’s very important not to trivialize people’s hardships just because you went through the same thing and overcame it.
Someone once said that hardships can either make you or break you. The word of God also says that “all things good and bad work out for good to those who trust in God”. That is the hope of those who have been privileged enough to get to know this truth. Whatever the devil meant for our harm, when we bring those wounds to God we are healed and we are restored. However not all people are that fortunate. Some people become victims of their life circumstances, they are broken so much that the implications are generational, and then we talk about generational curses.
A person who was told they are ugly and stupid, that they will not amount to anything grows up believing that, to the extent that they make decisions and act according to what they think they can or cannot do. There are families that teach their children to embrace the fact that they are poor and they will die poor because that’s just how it is in their family. As if that is not damaging enough for a child, there is the societal condemnation of people that are financially poor. Where kids that come from poor background are excluded in the playground, at school and sadly even at church (this one makes me very sad and angry). The young girls that are sexually and emotionally abused grow up hating themselves. They give themselves to abusive man and habits because they don’t think they deserve any better. I can think of many examples, but these are just some of the issues that wound many people. Wounds that if not attended to could have destructive and generational implications.
Those who watched Prison break will be familiar with a character named T-bag Theodore Bagwell. He was convicted of killing several teenagers and then raping them while they were dead. He spent his teenage years in and out of prison for many terrible acts including animal “brutality”. While in jail he raped young boys and while on the run he left a trail of heartless/psychotic murders in an effort to cover his tracks.
(Some pretty bloody cold pictures of T-bag. I couldn’t find the pictures of the timid little boy he used to be)
What was interesting to me about T bag was when they showed was his childhood was like. He grew up in household that was financially poor and unstable with a father who drank a lot. He was molested by his own father as a child. There was one scene where the father was showing off to his drunk friends that the Bagwell breed is intelligent, and he made this little boy (T bag) give 10 synonyms of the word destroy. And the little boy called them out, all ten (Annul, Mutilate, Liquidate, Abrogate, Quell, Ravage, Expunge, Demolish, Extinguish and Extirpate). We all know about the power of the tongue, that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Now imagine being knowledgeable about the idea/concept of destruction without any wisdom to go with that knowledge. I know that T-bag is a fictional character. And fictional or not, the things he did necessitated extreme measure in order to stop him. But I could not help relating the T-bag story to many real life situations of people whom I believe that the primary reason for their failures and lawlessness is the influences they had growing up. The things that happened to them (abuse be it physical emotional or verbal). The condemnation that they got from society because they did not fit into the ideal person superficially, materially or otherwise.
There have been several cases such as the Virginia tech and the Columbine High School massacres all over the world, SA included. There are polarized views about such cases. However I believe as do some people that the narcissistic, antisocial , aggressive etc. characters these young perpetrators portrayed were birthed by some influence or another. There are kids who drop out of school because of being bullied which not only affects their chances at making it in the world, but also affects the characters they grow to become (low self esteem amongst others). Sometimes the depression that is due to being bullied leads some to suicide. Then there is the bullies themselves, what makes them do what they do? More often than not, if you probe into where they come from you find that they are products of broken families. They have been bullied themselves somehow.
So in essence, in the case of the likes of T-bag and other bullies, it seems like we create the monsters we live with. It also seems that we are also responsible for the people that end up being defeated by life. Because we told them they are not good enough, that they are not the right social class enough to pursue certain things, that they deserve nothing good. We mocked them and discouraged them when they needed hope. We broke them with harsh and tactless words and treatments (directly or not). [this is encompassed in proverbs 12:18, proverbs 15:4 etc)
Its all one tragic cycle for which a lot of factors play a role. But the healing process has to start somewhere.
A father of a child that committed suicide on a recent Oprah episode indicated the fact that the majority of people are not being bullied nor are they the bullies. Granted. But they are the bystanders. And as the majority it is expected that will have a better opportunity to intervene, to empathize, to condemn, to do or say something. And yet more often than not we are quite for whatever reason. It’s the impersonal epitome of democracy right?
I believe that what separates most of the people who made it inspite of their less fortunate backgrounds from those who didn’t from similar backgrounds is the influences they had. You may have been financially less fortunate, but coming from a family rich with love and courage that propelled you towards success. Or sometimes if the family had not been encouraging you meet some people (by God’s grace I always say) who will come and encourage you. Unfortunately for those who are financially less fortunate coming from discouraging, loveless, abusive families (such as T bag’s) their chances are not the same. More so if they never had the privilege of meeting encouraging people in their lives.
God does heal and restore the terrible wounds that have been inflicted on us by circumstances. Nommater how septic the wounds may have become. The lemons that life deals us God can indeed turn into lemonades. But God needs vessels. Pastor David Dubrain once said that God loves his people via proxy. Same goes for healing of those inner wounds. And WE are His proxy…bazalwane/baena/chsristians. We are supposed to represent Jesus in how we relate to one another. In how we talk and respond to one another. How we treat one another. How we treat the less fortunate (be it financially or otherwise). How we treat those who don’t know him.
So in the spirit of Ecclesiastes 9:11 [I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happens to them all…NIV], can we ponder about this questions.
• What is and what should be our response to the monsters we live with. What should we do to prevent anybody from becoming a monster? Should we feel anything for “monsters” such s T-bag and the young man responsible for the many high school murders/massacres? Is it our responsibility in anyway whatsoever? Should we care or should we just look out for ourselves and those close to us? What would Jesus do?
• How do we relate to the less fortunate people where we come from or where we are? Do we relate all? How do we and how should we talk to/about them. Should we care at all or is it just enough to focus on ourselves and those around us. What would Jesus do about the less fortunate?
• How do we treat and relate to one another. Are we careful of the things we say to one another? Because what could be a joke to me could be a dagger to the heart for someone else. Should we care and consider or maybe people need to stop being so sensitive? How would Jesus converse with us?
• Yes, the street kids, beggars (at the robot and elsewhere), that guy who is has been at the wits corner since before I came to Jo’burg. What should we do? Should we care? What would Jesus do?
I am sure scripture has something to say about this and I believe that it’s not only scripture that has something to say about this, so please let us indulge one another.