Warning: Please note: Opinions expressed here are solely that of the writer and no one else. This is a frank opinion piece and it is not the law of any country. It is high time someone said something critical about the kind of world that we live in. Someone had to say this. It could be anyone out there and I chose to be that person.
You asked for it and here it is. Your jaw will literally be on the floor after reading this. Warning: No one is spared. Plus, this is the last Monday World for 2011. See you in Monday World January 2012.
Tongue-in-cheek, irreverent, frank and abrasive. Brace yourselves you all.
Woman beater?
Leading the Monday World Bulletin this week is Dingaan Mokebe who plays sweet and loving James Motsamai in popular local soapie Muvhango. His ex-girlfriend who dated him for two years, who goes by the name of Sthembile Dlomo, alleges that James stopped her from pursuing a career in showbiz, was obsessive with her and would punch her, pull her by the hair and break her nails shouting at her calling her cheeky and all, she tells the Drum magazine (Drum, 15 December, 2011). “He cried and said that I had provoked him and admitted again he needed help”, Sthembile tells the Drum magazine.
In the magazine, she tells of other horrific abuse that Dingaan subjected her to. She claims Dingaan had been promising to marry her and that he gave her a monthly allowance and got her a job despite all the great tumult that he subjected her to. She has since broken up with him and sort a protection order against him with the courts.
Dingaan is accused of punching a woman and pulling her by the hair
Enter Makisto’s tongue-lashing now! IF all these allegations are true, THEN sies on you James. You are a disgrace and a slut! Yes, this means Dingaan was two-timing his co-star and ex-lover Tsholo Monedi who plays Meme in Muvhango. Akere the two were in the papers about their break up not so long ago and neither of them wanted to discuss the reasons for their break up. Given the story in this week’s Drum, we shall safely conclude that Tsholo found out about Dingaan’s hungry shombolozi that couldn’t get satisfaction with one woman. Yazi ini Dingaan, real men beat HIV and Aids, not women.
Tsholo ditched Dingaan and didn't state why
Ebile, we think Tsholo did well by ditching this bloody woman-beater because she had to do it for their child. Yes, the co-stars reportedly have a baby together. In the tvplus magazine of 19 October (2011), Tsholo says, when speaking about Meme’s abusive relationship with KK: “They [abusive men] must also get help because clearly something is wrong with them. They must seek counselling because if you love someone, you will not abuse them,” she said and we hope Dingaan read the story. We at Monday World add: If you love someone, you will not punch them. Shame on you Dingaan, you deserve to be jailed because you are a danger to society. You belong in jail, you alleged slut!
Yazi eintlike nina black people like complaining. In last week’s Monday World, I did a beautiful wedding story and Chix goes nywe nywe. Mxm! This is what she said. “COMPLAINTS!!!! Hayi Maki wasn't there other scoops and dirt that occured during the weekend... My understanding is that MW is to be juicy... mouth watering and jaw dropping... so I am complaining that you only have one story to tell!!!!”
So yeah wena Chix, here it is: mouth-watering and we also take a dig at you Chix. Get a life. You need to embrace new things every now and again. Mafresh asked me: “Makisto dear, is this a festive fever????” I say, lol, who doesn’t have the fever? I’m sure you have one too. Don’t you have a life that you should be living or something? Who is that lady that said she doesn’t buy Sunday papers and she relies on Monday World for celeb goss? Lol, don’t be a part of the stats that say black people don’t read. Are you seriously that lazy sweetheart?
Through thick and thin: Best Friends Forever
Shame on Lindelani Mkhize who is none other than Joyous Celebration boss. Lindelani fired band member Thulani Mncube for dragging the “brand” through the mud after Thulani confirmed to Sunday World last week that Jabu Hlongwane is sleeping with his (Thulani) wife. The paper reported last week that Jabu was even the Master of Ceremonies at the duo’s wedding. We at Monday World reckon throughout his mc’ing, he was fantasising about how he would ravish Thulani’s now estranged wife Kuki. The pair is now headed to the divorce courts.
Instead of Mkhize listening to both sides of the story, reports the Sunday World, he fired Thulani without any written warning. It is clear Lindelani is protecting his friend Jabu’s womanising ways. You two should be ashamed of yourselves yazi. Haven’t you heard of labour laws?
Happier times: Thulani and now estranged wife
Wena Jabu, you cannot just go and sleep with people’s wives and expect your friends to protect your horny-self and do injustice to the aggrieved party. As for you Lindelani, we are waiting for your ghosts to come crippling out of the cupboard. I don’t wanna call anyone a sinner because we all sin daily. But man, so much for being a man of God!? It must be that ugly thing on your face that attracted Kuki to you.
Used: Cash cow
The Sunday World must be ashamed of itself for using Katlego Mphela’s name to boost the sales of their boring and deteriorating paper. You think we don’t know the sales of your paper are dropping because you are now a boring read? If you think I’m making this up, think again. The Annual Bureau of Circulation, aka the ABC, show that from July – September 2011, you lost approximately 14 000 readers who buy your paper. Then you pull all sorts of stunts now. This is in no way anything personal to my friends who work at the paper. Just like you, I’m also doing my job.
Leziwe and her sugar daddy
Back to using Katlego Mphela name to sell their paper, the paper ran a front-page leading story on an article with Mphela’s name whereas in fact, the article’s angle isn’t about Katlego but a semi-prostitute named Leziwe Sondake who is Katlego’s ex-girlfriend. Leziwe f***ks the rich and famous and gets nude pictures of them and in turn blackmail them to get money. The paper reports that former Matlosana mayor, China Dodovu, resigned as mayor because horny Leziwe wanted to take his nude pics to the papers. The paper gives detailed information on the kind of hundreds of rand that the Leziwe blackmailed him for.
Now, we at Monday World think this China politician was initially a fool. How dare he let this little slut blackmail him? We are just glad he finally saw the light and opened a case of extortion against this woman who thinks opening her legs to all men is a full time job.
Katlego is a transvetite
Oh before I forget, Katlego Mphela looks kinky and cute in Leziwe’s lingerie as per the picture in the Sunday World. We know what you are thinking and NO! Katlego aint gay. He’s just a transvestite aka a crossdresser. Bra Lucas of Testo-Therapy in the Drum magazine gives further details of this kind of species. “Crossdressers are people who wear clothes of the opposite gender to satisfy their emotional or erotic needs...I can’t emphasise this enough – crossdressing does not make people gay. You must not confuse yourself with gay crossdressers, or drag queens, who like performing dressed like celebrities such as Beyonce or Cher, for example.” (Drum magazine, 15 December 2011, p.49)
Not that gay people would mind welcoming Katlego Mphela to the world of homosexuality, I presume. So Katli, if you are gay, moenie worry nie, the little knowledge that I have about gay people is that they embrace everyone. Akere that OUT group thingie encourages people to embrace their sexuality, or something along those lines. Darling, Katli.
Killed by the Chinese: Janice Bronwyn Linden
The South African woman who was executed in China a little earlier this morning was yesterday not aware of the fate that was awaiting her this Monday morning. Janice Bronwyn Linden from KwaZulu-Natal has just been excuted by the Chinese government for smuggling drugs into that country, the eNews Channel and the Mail & Guardian Online reported on Sunday. The Chinese government only tell the people it is slaughtering on the morning of their slaughter. It is understood that Bronwyn exhausted all legal avenues. It is also worth noting that during her trial, she pleaded not guilty and insisted she knows nothing about the drugs during the whole 3 years. Two of Bronwyn’s sisters are in china this morning and were allowed one last hour with their sister before the gangster government killed her through lethal injection. My friend asks: "My goodness! But was her offence so atrocious that she aught to die?"
China: Where killing is the law
Shame on Chinese government and shame on South African government for not trying hard enough to ensure they fight for the poor woman’s rights. SA government should have insisted she serves a life sentence as opposed to slaughter. Le teng, isn’t slaughtering people against human rights and international humanity laws? We know murder is a law in China but this is very gangster. Yazi I am surprised that a country such as China would stoop so low and lower than the late Muamar Gaddafi and living oppressor of all times Robert Mugabe. Yazi all these United Nations, African Union and European Union are just good for nothing piece for crap on African countries but the so-called powerful countries are allowed to commit crimes without any noise from no one. I cannot even begin to imagine the international outcry if this slaughter was committed in Zimbabwe.
SA tried pleading for the Chinese to give her a life sentence but the Chinese would have none of it. This woman is accused of drug smuggling, insisted she is innocent. Now, don’t these Chinese murderers think they are becoming worse criminals than her alleged criminal act? Some governments are ran by fools.
Pirate: Though they kill our sister, their brother is also committing a crime in SA
Since selling fake CDs and DVDs is a crime is South Africa, would it be fair if the government said all Chinese people robbing our artists of their hard work should be slaughtered? No, not fair at all. Akere one of these Chinese “things” pressed charges against singer Lusanda for beating them up since they were selling her fake CDs And DVDs. The Chinese are not above the law. Their decision to murder our sister is uncalled for and downright gangster, mafia, criminal and very stupid. Bloody bugger them. Bloody bugger Chinese government. Hau! Your people are busy robbing our artists here and we are not killing them. Mxm. Tjeer, segataborokgo ke wena.
10 years of wedded bliss. But how many men has Debora Fraser dated in the past 10 years?
Moving on to good news now. Congratulations to Connie and Shona Ferguson who recently celebrated their 10-year wedding anniversary and gave the Drum magazine exclusive right to publish their anniversary pictures. Connie said to her sweetheart at the anniversary celebration: “Shona, the first time I saw you, I knew you were the love of my life. You are right - we were married two months after we met, but the first time I said I loved you I knew we were meant to be. Today we celebrate 10 years of marriage and it’s perfect day.” (Drum magazine, 15 December 2011, p.10). We are happy for them. Can they tell Debora Fraser the secret of staying happy in a marriage? How many of you know how many men Debora Fraser has changed in the past 10 years? Just asking, I wanna know as well.
Sisters: Same story, different publication
Staying with the Drum magazine! No, this time around I will not complain of editor Khosi forcing it down our throats in her editorial that she is good friends with Connie. I will also not remind you how she also forced it down our throats that she is good friends with Connie in her editorial last year when she was still with Move! magazine. I wanna complain about a replica of an article about Nthati Moshesh and Masechaba Moshoeshoe that they are sisters not only on Scandal but in real life too. Yazi recycling stories is such a bore and a turn off for avid readers like me. I didn’t even bother to read that article because I read it back in 2007 or 2008 in the Move! magazine. Mxm! Talk about laziness. If you guys are running out of story ideas, come here and I will give you fresh and exciting story ideas. Or better yet, commission me to write fresh and mesmerising stories for you so the 60-year old magazine can do away with its wrinkles. Mxm, lazy journalists who think within a box!!!!
Minister of Higher Education wants his money back and he's as sharp as a Blade
Those whose varsity studies got funded by the National Student Financial Aid Scheme (NSFAS) and not paying the body are in for a nasty surprise. The Minister of Higher Education, Dr Blade Nzimande is set to join forces with the SARS to stage a crack down on former students who are now working and not repaying their loans. The unpaid NSFAS amounts to R3 billion. The duo are busy putting systems in place that will track those students through SARS, reported the Sowetan Live on Friday. Comments by Sowetan Live bloggers read: timesChamp says – “@Blade Nzimande the last time I checked, most students who finished tertiary are still unemployed. So how are you gonna collect that R3 billion? You think about collecting more money instead of creating [more] jobs for graduates. Sies, you corrupt, selfish minister.” I say partly ditto!
Young black professionals refuse to pay back their loans as per comments on Sowetan Live
LaVidaLoca says: “Blade fotsek.... i won’t pay it back mother f*ker...You come into the Education department and you start making all sorts of threats???..Who the f*k do you think you are???....Tell SARS to come after me....You don’t know how it’s like not to have nothing....And now Im working and paying a hell of a lot of tax, for what???....voetsek...” Leutler’s comment read in parts: “I will never pay NSFAS because I pay tax now. So minister if you promise that I discontinue with tax and pay TEFSA, I will understand...”
Graduates must now pay up
Sinuedity tried to be the voice of reason saying: “By not paying your student loan, you are screwing other people who cant afford to go to university. You are depriving them of a loan”
Mina yazi shem, a friend of mine personally told me they cannot pay the loan now because they are busy sorting out their life. They come from a disadvantaged community. They say they are busy uplifting their family and community. Le teng wena Sinuedity, if there is anyone depriving deserving students of a study loan, it is the rampant corruption in government and the kickbacks to their cronies.
Rolling heads: Lease deal saga
We all know about the R500m police lease deal in Pretoria’s Middestad Building, JZ building himself a mansion at our expense, the allegations of tender irregularities in Limpopo involving Malema and company, The Shabir Shaik’s “generally corrupt” relations with [President ] Jacob Zuma as per Judge Hilary Squares when he sentenced Shabir Shaik. The food tender corruption allegations at the Correctional Services involving Bosasa and many other corruption allegations, are what’s depriving other deserving students of study loans, not us law abiding and taxpaying citizens. And also, how much are the ministers getting paid? Does any of them know that graduates who just started working have a lot of work to do to uplift our families without engaging in corruption? My friend says they also pay tax so they cannot pay back the NSFAS! "First cut all ministerial salaries, stop corruption in government and give me a tax break, then I will pay my loan," says my friend.
Drink, drive, die!
Moving right along, it is now December and this month people party like nobody’s business and drink booze like hell. Since many of you cannot keep your pants zipped and your skirts up, remember, no matter what you do, always be safe. Akere we need to join in the government’s fight against HIV and Aids. We also need to join them in saying NO to new infections. You drunkards must remember this: Drink, drive and die!!!!
*hides for the rest of 2011*